6 falsehoods troops stopped believing a long time ago

Leaders often have the dubious task of delivering bad news to a formation and setting expectations for a unit. Sometimes, to keep troops motivated or to scare people straight, they’ll stretch the truth a little. Occasionally, they stretch it past the breaking point and just go with an outright lie.

It’s understandable that leaders, stuck between the story they’re given from headquarters and the need to keep troops on task, will take the shortcut of lying every once in awhile. What isn’t understandable is why they would think that troops will keep falling for the same lies over and over.

Here are 6 falsehoods that junior enlisted folks stopped believing a long time ago:

1. “As soon as we clean weapons, we’re all going home.”

Heavy-weapons-cleaning-air-force

Photo: US Air National Guard photo by Kim E. Ramirez

No. Once weapons have been accepted by the armorer, someone has to tell first sergeant. First sergeant will tell the commander who will finish this one email real quick. Just one more line. He swears. He’s walking out right now.

Oh, but his high school girlfriend just Facebook messaged him and he has to check it real fast … Have the men sweep out the unit areas until he gets back.

2. “We’re all in this together.”

Route-Clearance-engineers-afghanistan-route-clearance

Are we all walking through this dried out riverbed together? Then I guess we’re not all in “this” together. Photo: Spc. Victor Egorov

Misleading to say the least. Yes, the entire unit will receive a final assessment for an exercise together and a unit completely overrun in combat will fall regardless of what MOS each soldier is, but that’s the end of how this is true.

After all, the whole unit may be in the war together, but the headquarters element is often all in the air conditioning together while the line platoons are all in the firefight together. The drone pilots may be part of the battle too, but they’re mostly in Nevada together.

3. “This will affect your whole career.”

Judge advocate prepares for a court-martial

Photo: US Navy Lt. Ayana Pitterson

Look, if Custer could get his commission withheld for months in 1861 and still pin major general in 1863 (that’s cadet to major general in two years), then the Army can probably figure out how to make room for a busted down private on his way to specialist.

4. “Everyone is getting released at 1500.”

Marine-briefing-USS-Bonhomme-Richards-marine-corps

Photo: US Marine Corps Land Cpl. Katelyn Hunter

No. And anyone who even starts to believe this one deserves the inevitable disappointment. The timeline always creeps to the right.

5. “This will build esprit de corps.”

Super-squad competition showcases esprit de corps

Anyone suddenly feeling like we’re a team? Photo: US Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Diamond N. Peden

Two things build esprit de corps: screwing up together and succeeding together. Running five miles together is not enough of an accomplishment to build esprit de corps. And anyone who falls out of these exercises to build unit cohesion on an obstacle course will be alienated by their failure, not brought into the fold.

6. “‘Mandatory fun’ will be.”

SAPR-barbecue-mandatory-fun

Photo: US Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Brian Morales

“Mandatory fun” never is. It will be miserable for the participants, embarrassing for the organizers, and scary for the family members who are forcefully “encouraged” to bring their kids to an event with hundreds of cussing, dipping, and drinking troops.

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