6 things MPs do (besides give you tickets)

Military police get a bad rap. Sure, they spend a lot of time trying to catch speeders going 2 mph over the limit in the middle of the night and give the driver a ticket that stalls his career for no good reason, but they also do useful stuff like these six things:

1. Engage in maneuver warfare

Marine-raider-supervises-military-policemen-training

A Marine Raider supervises military police training on urban patrolling on Nov. 2, 2016, in Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. (Photo: U.S. Marine Corps Capt. Nicholas Mannweiler)

Believe it or not, the troops voted most likely to work as mall security after they get their DD-214 are trained to take and hold territory from the enemy in war. While the MPs aren’t as specialized in these tasks as the infantry, they are capable.

The U.S. Army military police school’s manevuer training focuses on breaching operations, route recon and surveillance, controlling river crossings, and other essential elements of controlling the battlespace.

2. Guard mission-critical infrastructure

U.S. Marine military police conduct immediate action drills alongside Philippine Marines at Colonel Ernesto Ravina Air Base, Philippines, Oct. 7, 2016. (Photo and cutline: U.S. Marine Corps Sgt. Tiffany Edwards)

U.S. Marine military police conduct immediate action drills alongside Philippine Marines at Colonel Ernesto Ravina Air Base, Philippines, Oct. 7, 2016. (Photo and cutline: U.S. Marine Corps Sgt. Tiffany Edwards)

So, yeah, there’s a reason that MPs do make good mall cops if they ever feel the need to take that route. They do train to protect stationary places from local hooligans. It’s just those stationary places are air bases and ammo dumps and those local hooligans are hardened insurgent fighters.

The MPs call it “critical site security.” And they train to do it in chemical gear, under fire, and facing off against enemy infantry. So you better believe they can keep the stoner kids out of Spencer Gifts.

3. Evacuate civilians from conflict areas and natural disasters

A military policeman pulls security as other soldiers load a CH-47 during non-combatant evacuation training. (Photo: U.S. Army Spc. Thomas Scaggs)

A military policeman pulls security as other soldiers load a CH-47 during non-combatant evacuation training. (Photo: U.S. Army Spc. Thomas Scaggs)

When the rains come, whether they’re rains of artillery or torrential downpours of water, the MPs are just as ready to rush in and get civilians out of harm’s way as they seem in all those recruiting commercials.

“Dislocated Civilians,” “Populace and Resource Control,” and “Straggler, Dislocated Civilian Control” are all military police functions that pretty much mean that MPs will corral you to safety and help figure out the food situation during the next zombie apocalypse.

4. Investigate crimes

Military police analyze a foot impression during training at Camp Bondsteel, Kosovo, on July 13, 2016. (Photo: U.S. Army photo Staff Sgt. Thomas Duval)

Military police analyze a foot impression during training at Camp Bondsteel, Kosovo, on July 13, 2016. (Photo: U.S. Army photo Staff Sgt. Thomas Duval)

Unless you’re a murderer. Because the MPs will definitely not have your back if you’re a murderer. Or a drug user. Or dealer. Or really, any crime. That’s because some military police become MPIs, military police investigators, and will be investigating those crimes.

While the MPIs don’t get the headlines like the special agents of the Criminal Investigations Division or the Naval Criminal Investigations Service, they do assist in the investigations of major crimes by collecting witness testimony and physical evidence. And, like all MPs, they are federal law enforcement officers.

5. Contain riots and civil unrest

Fire-phobia-training-military-police-molotov-cocktails

Army soldiers complete fire phobia training. (Photo: US Army Sgt. Cody Barber)

Military police don’t just train on hunting enemy soldiers and tracking down hardened criminals. They also learn how to deal with angry protestors. The military emphasizes de-escalation when possible, but MPs learn how to hold the line against Molotov cocktails and armed protesters if necessary to contain riots and civil unrest. This includes everything from fire phobia training to the proper use of tear gas.

6. Teach policing fundamentals to partnered military and law enforcement agencies

American Marines and Republic of Vanuatu Police Force officers train together on frisk and search procedures on Oct. 26, 2016, at Port Vila, Vanuatu. (Photo: U.S. Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Quavaungh Pointer

American Marines and Republic of Vanuatu Police Force officers train together on frisk and search procedures on Oct. 26, 2016, at Port Vila, Vanuatu. (Photo: U.S. Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Quavaungh Pointer

Of course, all this training turns new recruits into law enforcement experts, or at least people with enough expertise to train brand new police officers. Military police units are often sent around the world to train the police departments of American allies.

TOP ARTICLES
Why the 'Butcher of Bosnia' faces a life sentence for war crimes

Ratko Mladic, a former Serbian general, will receive a verdict from the International Criminal Tribunal for war crimes he committed, to include genocide.

Russia swears a cloud of radioactive pollution is not a nuclear accident

A radioactive cloud is moving over parts of Europe, seemingly coming from Russia, reminiscent of the Chernobyl nuclear-power-plant disaster in 1986.

Taliban drug labs targeted by B-52 strikes overnight

American aircraft have targeted drug producing facilities in Afghanistan for the first time under a new strategy aimed at cutting off Taliban funding.

Why South Korea is building a unique missile interceptor

A missile system that could be used to target North Korea Scuds will cost Seoul more than $800 million to develop, a Seoul defense committee said.

SEALs honor the man who made the ‘frogmen’ possible

Last week, at the Omni Shoreham Hotel, a crowd gathered to commemorate the fateful event that gave rise to what would become the US Navy SEALs.

The 50 most violent cities in the world

Of the fifty cities on the list, forty-three are in Latin America, including nineteen in Brazil, eight in Mexico, and seven in Venezuela.

How the true story of Thanksgiving ended in a war

Just a generation after the famed Thanksgiving feast shared between pilgrims and Native Americans, the two groups were engaged in bloody battles.

The wounded North Korean defector is infected by an unknown parasite

The North Korean defector shot by his fellow soldiers has been found to be riddled with parasites his South Korean doctors have never seen.

North Korea's emerging free market threatens to topple the regime

Kim Jong Un's regime of dictatorship continues to be threatened as North Korea advances into the free market. Capitalism could be hero here.

This is the light attack aircraft the Saudis might buy

The Textron Scorpion's production-ready version will be at the Dubai Air Show, and the plane could end up being purchased by the Royal Saudi Air Force.