The 7 best Futurama technologies for the war on terrorism
Good news everyone! The year 3000 saw a lot of technological breakthroughs. While some may be purely fictional, not everything about the science and technology of Futurama was entirely fantasy.
From fully interactive holograms to creating a new math theorem to explain a plot twist, the writers of Futurama are very prescient.
Some of their predictions even have military applications. The 7 best are listed below.
1. Dr. FlimFlam’s Miracle Cream
The amazing prescription for life’s aches and pains also tends to give its users superpowers like super strength, lickety-speed, and the ability to sometimes command sea creatures. Nothing says “precision strike” like flying to Syria just to punch the caliph in the face. All this for $60!
Warning: “Keep out of reach of children under the age of 500. For best results, sacrifice a small mammal Xanroc then apply evenly to interior of eyeball. Would you like to sell Dr. Flimflam products? Contact a representative at a covered wagon near you!”
2. Tube Transport
“[being controlled by a Brain Slug] On to new business. Today’s mission is for all of you to go to the Brain Slug Planet.” – Hermes
“What do we do there?” – Zoidberg
“Just walk around not wearing a helmet” – Hermes
MomCorps’ Transport Tubes are all over New New York, sucking in passengers and flying them to their destinations… but this may soon be a reality.
Instead of long waits for an airplane to get you to and from deployments, imagine just hopping in a tube and magically arriving where you want to go. Sounds better than wasting precious leave days while traveling to R and R from the Brain Slug Planet.
3. Electronium Hat
“Please, Fry. I don’t know how to teach. I’m a professor!“?Professor Farnsworth
Designed by the Professor to harness the power of sunspots, the electronium hat makes cognitive radiation, a special energy that makes any animal intelligent. The Professor tested it on a monket named Guenther whom he sent to college.
The intelligence potential of this technology is exciting (see what I did there?). The U.S. military could ally itself with hordes of hat-wearing animals.
4. Q.T. McWhiskers
“Now conquer Earth you bastards!” – Mom
“Conquer Earth us bastards!” – Killbots
Originally intended to be a children’s toy, petting it would cause the toy to meow and shoot rainbows from its eyes. Mom changed the production model into a massive killbot that shoots lasers.
“Hey, try it on me!” – Fry
Bender points it at Fry’s crotch.
“OW! My sperm!” -Fry
Professor Farnsworth’s F-Ray device emits a neutrino beam which allows the ray’s user to see through anything, including metal. The only problem was it emitted so much nuclear radiation that the Professor had to wear a full-body protective suit.
6. Universal Translator
“This is my Universal Translator, although it only translates into an incomprehensible dead language” – Prof. Farnsworth
“Hello!” – Cubert
“Bonjour!” – machine
“Crazy gibberish” – Prof. Farnsworth
In the episode A clone of my own, Professor Farnsworth reveals his Universal Translator invention, which only knows how to translate a funny, dead language (actually French). As is, the universal translator could help French forces in West Africa fighting al-Qaeda, Boko Haram, Ansar Dine, and ISIS elements by allowing other intervening Western countries easier communication with locals.
Another version of this device works for alien languages as well as English.
7. What-If Machine
“Alright, Professor! Let’s do it. Make that machine show me what would happen if I was a little more impulsive. Just a little… Not too much.“?Leela
The ultimate weapons against ISIS is the ability go back and prevent them for ever forming. By now the world knows ISIS formed in the power vacuum left by the Americans after the Iraq War, but we didn’t see that then. What if we had a machine that would let us watch the consequences of our foreign policy decision so we could always make the right one?