9 things that would be different if Chuck Norris led the Bin Laden raid
In the early hours of May 2nd, 2011, in Abbottabad, Pakistan, SEAL team 6 got the green light to execute a deadly mission to capture or kill the man responsible for the 9/11 terrorist attacks — Osama Bin Laden. After President Obama broke the news to the world that the notorious Al Qaeda leader had been taken out, American and its allies celebrated all across the world.
As additional information poured in, the mission was labeled a success — although it had its share of flaws.
But as WATM has a deep and abiding appreciation for 1980s action movies, we wondered how different it all might have gone down if Chuck Norris had planned and led the famous bin Laden raid. So check out our list.
The SEALs on Norris’ team would be issued dual Uzis — because firepower.
The SEAL team would have parachuted in instead of inserting on stealth helicopters.
Once Chuck Norris and the SEALs land, awesome black tactical motorcycles would be patiently waiting for them. Norris would shoot bin Laden’s compound wall so his SEALs could easily breach.
After locating bin Laden, Chuck would have challenged him to a hand-to-hand showdown after removing his shirt and popping his knuckles.
Then, Chuck would deliver a series of right jabs to bin Laden’s face, breaking every bone in his body.
After beating bin Laden senseless, he’d casually walk away like the fight was over, mount his tactical motorcycle and blow the al Qaeda leader up with a missile like it wasn’t sh*t.
Since Chuck usually orders his men to fall back early (for some reason) he now has to make his escape just as Pakistani police show up.
Because Chuck is such a lone wolf, the only plane leaving the terrorist-infested nation is about to take off without him — but that won’t stop him from boarding.
Related: Here’s how US Marines brought karate back home after World War II