5 things the US Military should ban forever

The U.S. military does a lot of good around the world, but it also maintains a few quirks. Usually stemming from the mindset of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” some items common to the military experience don’t make much sense. These are those items.

1. The Navy’s blue camouflage uniform

UPDATE: This change is already in the works. We take full credit.

Here is how this went down: The Navy was wearing its completely blue working uniform, and then the Marine Corps and Army went to new and improved digital patterns. The admirals got together and thought of how to best to spend the budget.

They got into a big room with presentations about cool laser beams that can destroy an entire terrorist compound, missiles for fighter jets that can travel 300 miles, and new GPS navigation systems that can tell you where you are with pinpoint accuracy and you can hit one button to call in naval gunfire. And then they decided to spend a bunch of money on uniforms that make no sense.

Navy recruits

2. Wearing reflective belts everywhere

Yeah, we know. They reflect light from car headlights so that you don’t get flattened like a pancake when you’re on your run. So maybe that makes sense. But they are overused to the point of absurdity. You need to wrap a reflective belt around your pack on this hike, because drivers may not notice the 900+ people around you with flashlights and making lots of noise.

Make sure you also wear your reflective belt around your forward operating base so that Johnny Taliban can make that mortar fire more effective.

stonewall jackson reflective belt

3. Those brown dive shorts that only Navy SEALs wear

The UDT SEAL swim shorts come in khaki, have an included belt, and are short enough to show how terribly untanned your legs are. According to NavySEALs.com, the shorts were issued to the original frogmen of World War II, and now all SEALs are issued them as part of that tradition.

Navy SEAL UDT Shorts

Photo Credit: Valet Mag

Holding to traditions is important, but we’re talking 1940s-era fashion here. SEALs aren’t shooting at Taliban fighters with M1 Garands, because times, trends, and technology has changed. Which leads us to …

4. Marine Corps “silkies” physical training shorts

We can officially conclude that the military has a serious problem with short shorts. The worst offender is the U.S. Marine Corps, with their “silkies.” While Marines have been issued updated physical training uniforms, the silkie shorts that looked like they were stolen from Larry Bird’s locker room still prevail. And sadly, there’s always at least one weird guy in your platoon who actually enjoys wearing them.

Marine Corps silkies meme

5. PowerPoint

There’s a reason Gen. Mattis banned the use of Powerpoint briefings when he was in charge at CENTCOM. Creating slideshows are boring, huge wastes of time, and as he so famously said, they “make you stupid.”

afghanistan powerpoint

We’re absolutely certain there are other things out there. What can you think of? Add it to the comments.

TOP ARTICLES
Why marijuana's potential benefits for vets outweigh the risks

Marijuana may get more use as a treatment for PTSD and other medical issues as more than 90 percent of veterans support marjuana use and development.

7 holiday classics you should send to deployed troops

The next time you visit a department store that sells DVDs, toss these films into your cart and send them to your favorite troop serving overseas.

A Boeing 757 was hacked and the Department of Homeland Security is concerned

In 2016 the Department of Homeland Security hacked a 757 remotely, using only objects that would normally pass through security without an issue.

Why Ranger Up needs to be under your tree this Christmas

The Holidays, like a hyped-up drill sergeant, are upon you. Don't you wish you had a 12-day guide to the best vet-made gifts around? Ho! Ho! Hoorah!

How dead civilians were listed as 'ISIS fighters' in Iraq

A year and a half long investigation by the New York Times revealed that the US had reported civilian casualties in combat as enemy combatant casualties.

The Marines are training an F-35 squadron to fight in nuclear war

The Marines are training on how to fight through a nuclear war and under the strains of nuclear, biological, chemical, and radiological hazards.

Why a drunk traffic fatality was the last straw for US troops in Japan

Early in the morning, a Marine drove while impaired, ran a red light, and drove into oncoming traffic. He struck another truck, killing its driver.

History's 7 outstanding military leaders, according to Napoleon

Napoleon Bonaparte, considered one of the most memorable military leaders of all time, held these 7 military predecessors in great esteem.

6 ways Austin Powers is way more operator than you

In 1997, Britain's biggest playboy and best special agent Austin Powers rocked movie-goers with his bad teeth, groovy personality, and judo chop.

The best qualities about veteran entrepreneurs that investors love

Due to our unique military experiences, veterans have so much more to offer the world, and those traits are closely examined by potential investors.