Best Black Friday deals for every military branch

If you're anything like me, the idea of lining up at 4:00 in the morning in the freezing cold, at a big box store that doesn't open for three hours, just to score a sick Black Friday deal on a television sounds absolutely awful. Now, if it was for a hard-to-find bourbon, that's a different story... but I digress.

This year, skip the lines and the waits and hit these amazing Black Friday deals from the comfort of your own couch. Grab a hot toddy and start your shopping. Here are our favorite Black Friday deals for each military branch (also, we are totally making sweeping assumptions, generalizations and stereotypes here. But let's be honest, they're stereotypes for a reason... said with all the love in our hearts).

You guessed it, Crayons are on sale! Lowest price in 30 days with a steep 42% discount, for all of our favorite crayon eaters. If you're feeling really salty this Christmas, these Crayon MREs made by a veteran are the perfect stocking stuffer.

We know you joined the Navy to see the world. We also know there's a high probability you're going to spend the majority of your career in a 5x5 cube on a floating building. Luckily for you, these amazing seasick goggles are on sale! Grab 'em while they're hot! 39% discount FOR THE WIN.

We know how busy you are flying your desk! But when you're not, we know how much the Air Force loves a golf course. You can improve and brag about your swing velocity with this precision doppler swing speed radar, at 20% off. You're welcome.

When I think of the Coast Guard, our favorite little puddle pirates, we can't help but think they're semi-civilians just kind of pretending to be in the Navy (ok, ok, we absolutely adore you guys and we know you're badasses who love seizing drugs and killing parties and rescuing people). Anyway, get this awesome Pretender Game at 23% off!

While we're ordering board games, this is the perfect one for our Army buddies who can kill a terrorist or a vibe real quick with their "this is everything that could go wrong" attitude. For everyone's favorite Debbie Downers, here's the Worst-Case Scenario Card Game, at 50% off today. What could possibly go wrong, well, just ask the Army. Womp womp.

Did you think we could possibly forget you? And did you think there was absolutely any option where we didn't find light sabers for you? These are a steal at almost 60% off.

Happy shopping, warriors!