8 reasons you want Commander Riker to be your CO
We all have that officer we served with (or under) that we absolutely adore. We would follow them to the gates of hell or go there ourselves if they so ordered us. But, look: No one gives orders like Commander William T. Riker.
This is why you should want Picard’s “number one” to be your number one.
8. He’s genuinely a nice dude.
He doesn’t bitch when his officers call him by his first name. He remembers all his crews’ names. He’s best friends with his ex-girlfriend. He goes to his friends’ poetry readings. He even plays the trombone for people.
I mean, for a guy with so much to do as the first officer of a flagship, you wonder where he gets the energy.
7. He had a beard when it wasn’t even in regs.
How many beards do you see on Star Trek? Any show in the series. Go ahead and look – it’s not many. When you do see them, most of the time, they’re only for flag officers. Meanwhile, Riker grew his out almost immediately. He sure as hell wasn’t going to wait ’til he had a DD-214.
6. Will Riker will not be tempted by a Fat Leonard.
All the officers who were seduced by the real Fat Leonard are getting off relatively light (especially considering how the enlisted people are getting the book thrown at them), and it’s the U.S. Navy who suffers. Commander William T. Riker has no use for hookers and champagne.
When the omnipotent alien called ‘Q’ tried to give Riker the powers of a god, Riker told him to f*ck off. Will Riker will make Captain on his own, dammit.
5. Everything bad happens to him and he’s somehow okay.
Riker had to kick his estranged father’s ass to be okay with his childhood. He was abducted by aliens who cut off his arm. Actually, he was abducted a few times. His first posting was a mutiny that resulted in the loss of the ship, he was in a transporter accident that basically duplicated him, he was infected with a parasite that turned him into a spy… The list goes on.
But Will Riker always shows up for work the next day with a clean slate. And he owns it.
4. He’s just like any other sailor.
Make no bones about it, Riker likes to drink, dance, and get down (you know what I mean). He’s a man’s man — so much so that his only real relationship had to be with a female who could read his emotions because he’s not giving anything but a wink and a smile.
He has 20 years in service and he still goes on shore leave to a place literally known as a “pleasure planet.”
3. Riker is 100 percent about equal opportunity.
He loves all beings, regardless of gender, race, and even androgyny. Even a robot or two.
I’m pretty sure he’s fine with women in combat and openly transgender Starfleet officers. He may have some trouble with the Military Equal Opportunity office, though.
2. His goddamned awesome command presence.
Nothing says, “I am confident in my ability to lead” like swinging your leg over the back of any given chair to sit down.
You know why it looks so f*cking awesome? Because he looks like a cowboy mounting up on a horse for some adventure.
1. He’s going to bring his sailors home.
There’s a reason this redshirt leads away missions and still lives. Over the seven seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation, only 57 Enterprise crew members were killed and only 14 of those died on Riker-led away missions — and they usually got the bad guy in the end.