4 phrases your first sergeant constantly mangles

Sometimes a first sergeant or sergeant major will ask his troops “yunnerstand?” and inevitably, the troops only understand that they should respond with “yes.”

We’re not sure what type of water they are putting in their coffee, but some E-8’s and above really mangle certain words or phrases in the English language. If you want to see what troops are usually dealing with, this video compilation of Sgt. Maj. Sixta from “Generation Kill” will certainly help.

Over at Task & Purpose, writer Paul Mooney put together a listing of phrases “the diamond” usually screws up. Here are some of those, along with a few of our own:

1. “It would be-who-of-you.”

While “behoove” is actually a real word that means it’s important that you do something, the pronunciation of “be-who-of-you” is totally incorrect, but keeps in line with the language of the first sergeant. Junior troops figure out quickly that it would “be-who-of” them to do a huge number of things.

2. “Yunnerstand that?”

This means “do you understand,” except it’s just a much quicker and terrible way of saying it. This is often tacked onto the end of statements that don’t require any response. But if you’re first sergeant, you want a response to everything you say. Yunnerstand?

3. “Friggin-daggone”

First sergeant will often throw this one around during periods he or she is upset, which is basically all the time. Common usage would be something like, “where’s my friggin-daggone radio?” or “get me the friggin-daggone lieutenant on the phone.” Especially in the Marine Corps with most E-8s having previous experience as drill instructors, they learn to replace the profane words with these monstrosities.

4. “Utilize.”

They may pronounce it correctly, but they certainly aren’t using it right. Instead of going with the much shorter, easier to say, and more normal word of “use,” some first sergeants tend to complicate their language with utilize. Please, please, make it stop.

Now check out Mooney’s listing of first sergeant fails here >

OR: The 18 funniest moments from ‘Generation Kill’ >

TOP ARTICLES
This is how the Army Corps of Engineers is helping Puerto Rico

The Army Corps of Engineers is working to restore power to the island of Puerto Rico after four major hurricanes devastated these parts of the US.

This Marine is more operator than you'll ever be

One Marine isn't taking his life changing injury sitting down. In fact: he's running. Follow Marine Rob Jones as he runs 31 marathons in 31 days.

This is the agenda for Mattis' Indo-Asia-Pacific tour

Secretary of Defense Mattis is touring the Indo-Asia Pacific region to strengthen ties with ally countries and underscore our commitment to each of them.

This is the reason Russian and Western tactics are changing

Russia might be stepping up its War Games game, but the United States isn't having any issues keeping up. Even their Krasnodar can't get past us.

Here are the top conspiracy theories surrounding Kennedy assassination

Ahead of the release of 3,100 documents pertaining to the Kennedy assassination, here the top assassination conspiracy theories people are talking about.

Air Force says no plan to recall retired pilots

The Air Force says it has no intentions of recalling retired pilots to address personnel shortages, though it appreciates the ability to do it if it wants to.

Here is how Burke-class destroyers will be able to zap incoming missiles

Burke-class destroyers, already packing a formidable punch, could add lasers, improving capabilities against UAVs, missiles, and even piloted aircraft.

11 'totally real' things you should send your boot to find

Sending the FNG out to find things isn't malicious. It may look like hazing — but you're teaching them a little bit more about the unit. Isn't that nice?

This is the new version of the pup tent

This is not your grandfather's pup tent. Litefighter has developed a complete shelter that troops can carry, weighing in just over four pounds.

This is why Saddam Hussein's fedayeen troops wore Darth Vader helmets

Wondering why Saddam's personal militia wore all-black suits and ski masks in the middle of the desert all year 'round? It was to match their helmets.