This is how to beat the rope-a-dope

Ben Weaver
Feb 5, 2020 6:59 PM PST
1 minute read
Army photo

SUMMARY

Follow the rules set forth by Max, The Body, Philisaire and you’ll be at the top of the rope in no time. If Max “The Body” Philisaire has a Phil-osophy (a Maxim?) he lives by, it might go a litt…

Follow the rules set forth by Max, The Body, Philisaire and you'll be at the top of the rope in no time.


If Max "The Body" Philisaire has a Phil-osophy (a Maxim?) he lives by, it might go a little something like this:

Learn the rope. Or be the dope.

FYI: the dope (left) ends up on his ass. (Photo from Wikimedia Commons, Nicoleon, CC BY-SA 4.0)

In the army, Max did his time on the climbing rope, just like you did. Every branch climbs the rope. After all, the military, in its infinite wisdom, recognized early on that the game of large-scale global deployment would be won or lost on the proficiency with which its troops could drop into, and wriggle out of, The Danger Zone.

Max is Danger Zone Highway Patrol.

And so they dangled ropes off every structure taller than two stories and made you haul your ass up, down, and up again — sometimes with feet, often with not. How well this went for you depended on the upper body strength you were able to muster and/or the belligerent, spittle-flecked hatefulness of the sergeant whose job it was to motivate you.

Now, imagine a world in which the rope is no longer a crucible and you are no longer the dope being bamboozled by it. This world is called The Danger Zone. Max guards the on-ramp to the highway to this world. And if you approach the on-ramp with enough oomph (say, 100mph or so), he will waive you through.

Because this is Max. Max doesn't so much pull himself up as he hauls the sky down to look him in the eye. Frequently the sky resents this and throws a tantrum. And that is why sometimes there is rain.

In this episode, Max addresses all your weaknesses at once. Because that is what the rope would do. To effectively master the rope climb, you need explosive power in your upper body (biceps, back, and forearm grip), a solid core, and strong legs (quads, glutes, and groin).

Do these exercises. Because it's a tough world out there. And if you're going to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, you best be able to pull yourself up by a rope.

We haven't even begun to discuss the chain... (Go90 Max Your Body screenshot)

Watch as Max rumbles all the jungles, in the video embedded at the top.

Watch more Max Your Body:

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