This is how to beat the rope-a-dope

 

If Max “The Body” Philisaire has a Phil-osophy (a Maxim?) he lives by, it might go a little something like this:

Learn the rope. Or be the dope.

FYI: the dope (left) ends up on his ass.   (Photo from Wikimedia Commons, Nicoleon, CC BY-SA 4.0)

In the army, Max did his time on the climbing rope, just like you did. Every branch climbs the rope. After all, the military, in its infinite wisdom, recognized early on that the game of large-scale global deployment would be won or lost on the proficiency with which its troops could drop into, and wriggle out of, The Danger Zone.

Max is Danger Zone Highway Patrol.

And so they dangled ropes off every structure taller than two stories and made you haul your ass up, down, and up again — sometimes with feet, often with not. How well this went for you depended on the upper body strength you were able to muster and/or the belligerent, spittle-flecked hatefulness of the sergeant whose job it was to motivate you.

Now, imagine a world in which the rope is no longer a crucible and you are no longer the dope being bamboozled by it. This world is called The Danger Zone. Max guards the on-ramp to the highway to this world. And if you approach the on-ramp with enough oomph (say, 100mph or so), he will waive you through.

Because this is Max. Max doesn’t so much pull himself up as he hauls the sky down to look him in the eye. Frequently the sky resents this and throws a tantrum. And that is why sometimes there is rain.

In this episode, Max addresses all your weaknesses at once. Because that is what the rope would do. To effectively master the rope climb, you need explosive power in your upper body (biceps, back, and forearm grip), a solid core, and strong legs (quads, glutes, and groin).

Do these exercises. Because it’s a tough world out there. And if you’re going to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, you best be able to pull yourself up by a rope.

We haven’t even begun to discuss the chain… (Go90 Max Your Body screenshot)

Watch as Max rumbles all the jungles, in the video embedded at the top.

Watch more Max Your Body:

This elite veteran trainer will make you aim true

This elite veteran trainer is why your ammo shows up on time

Our trainer will make you want to play Ruck Ruck Goose

This is how squats can open doors for you

This trainer will make you a card-carrying member of the log-carrying elite

TOP ARTICLES
5 terribly hilarious gifts to scuff up a basic trainee

Why not show that you truly care about your young recruit by also helping their trainers mess with them? Get in on the fun! Be creative.

The MARSOC driving course is not like your typical day at the DMV

These Marines continuously train to keep their skills sharp and take pride in being the best at all ends of the spectrum — including tactical driving.

7 more phrases old school veterans can't stop saying — and we love it

We love our old-school veterans that don't have a problem speaking their minds. They have some humorous sayings that we still use to this day.

This Army nurse's epic fight for a memorial for women Vietnam veterans

Some 11,000 women served in Vietnam, many as nurses and many under hostile fire. They had to fight to have their memorial built on the National Mall.

5 tips to prepare potential boots to join the military

No matter which branch you're thinking of joining, these mental and physical tips will help you be ready for when you're staring at a smoky bear hat.

6 reasons the Air Force wants to get its hands on Russian DNA

Ankle bone connected to the shin bone, shin bone connected to the knee bone, knee bone connected to a Russian, Air Force wants to get his genome.

US Navy searches for 3 missing sailors after plane crashes en route to USS Ronald Reagan

The US Navy is conducting a search for the 3 missing sailors after a plane carrying 11 passengers crashed into the sea southeast of Okinawa.

If you don't know about Sword & Plough, you are wrong

The Holidays, like a hyped-up drill sergeant, are upon you. Don't you wish you had a 12-day guide to the best vet-made gifts around? Ho! Ho! Hoo-rah!

Why the 'Butcher of Bosnia' faces a life sentence for war crimes

Ratko Mladic, a former Serbian general, will receive a verdict from the International Criminal Tribunal for war crimes he committed, to include genocide.

Russia swears a cloud of radioactive pollution is not a nuclear accident

A radioactive cloud is moving over parts of Europe, seemingly coming from Russia, reminiscent of the Chernobyl nuclear-power-plant disaster in 1986.