10 things you need to know about dating someone in the military

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Jul 5, 2021 11:06 PM PDT
1 minute read
Coast Guard photo

They move fast.

This may not go for everyone, but typical military life usually means being away for months at a time. Because of this unique schedule, members of the armed forces tend to move on different romantic timelines than the average Joe. Often, that equates to getting a lot more serious a lot more quickly.

Being in the military might run in the family.

There are plenty of young adults who opt to join the military all on their own. That said, it's not uncommon for military life to be passed down through generations. Serving one's country is a badge of pride in many families. What does that mean for you? If you decide to settle down with someone in the armed forces, be prepared for your own kids to follow a similar path.

They’ll love you, but they also love their country-- a lot.

Even if military life is completely new to you (or even seems a little crazy), respecting their decision to serve their country is non-negotiable. They're doing it to protect not just you, but everyone else, too. That's a lot of love!

You might have to move, more than once. 

The military brat title exists for a reason. It's not uncommon for military families to have to hop from base to base over the years, so prepare yourself for that possibility.

U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Joshua W. Brown

They’ll be gone often.

This goes without saying, but their schedules won't be predictable. They'll be gone for major holidays and life events, and you won't have a say. If you can't roll with the punches, stay out of the military dating game.

Their squad will be their second family. 

Seriously. Whether they're in the Army, the Navy, the Marines, or the Air Force, they learn right off the bat to stand by their team. They have each other's backs, for better or worse. They're responsible for getting each other home safely. When your partner's battle buddies (brothers and sisters, really), are around, embrace it and give them time to catch up.

They may keep a few secrets.

The harsh reality is that veterans have seen a lot more than most civilians can imagine. They've seen pain, made tough calls, and experienced a different kind of heartbreak. When they return, they may not want to talk about it. If they seem like a closed door, don't take it personally. They probably don't want to burden you with difficult memories, and they may not be ready to relive them. It can take time to open up! At the end of the day, some secrets might just stay secret...and you have to be okay with that.

Complete strangers will take over your lives.

In a way, the government will dictate where you live. Where your kids go to school. When you can take that family vacation. People you've never met will decide whether your partner is home for the holidays. Flexibility is a must, as is loyalty. Starting a life with someone in the military means that you, too, will live a military lifestyle. Before you take that leap, make sure you can handle it!

U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Carlin Leslie

Being a military spouse is scary.

When your partner is deployed, nothing is guaranteed. You can pray they are safe, but you can't always be sure. It's scary, but it also makes their return home so much sweeter. You really learn to cherish every moment together.

When they’re home, they’re all yours.

If members of the armed services know one thing, it's devotion. Life with them may be complicated, but it will be filled with adventure, new experiences, and lots of love.


Feature image: U.S. Marine Corps

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