Shake off that hangover from the four-day weekend, everyone. There's a normal weekend coming up and we can't just neglect these parties because last week's were too epic.
Slam a case of Rip-Its, get some giggles from these military memes, and treat your safety brief like a To-Do list.
1. Play that funky music, white boy (via Funker530).
But also, find a surgeon for your buddy's traumatic brain injury.
2. Might keep the other branches from knowing what you're eating ...
... but actually increases the chance that your crayons are stolen.
3. Everyone wants to be an operator until it's time to do trauma surgery (via Weapons of Meme Destruction).
This duo's one-liners are drier than any martini.
4. Bet she gets selected for all the good details. And the bad ones.
"We need one volunteer for chute shakedown. Ummm ... you."
5. Oooh, if they get really mad, they'll start comparing commissioning dates (via Why I'm Not Re-enlisting).
*Holds up three fingers* "I have this many more months seniority than you!"
6. One is a surgeon, the other a butcher (via Valhalla Wear).
This is why machine gunners are more popular at parties. They bring more party favors.
7. Doesn't matter which branch you join (via Decelerate Your Life).
It's not the budget. It's the personnel.
8. Upon further reflection, maybe too few recruits isn't the worst problem (via ASMDSS).
Better to not have enough armorers than to have these armorers.
9. For that much money, I'll become a pilot (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).
I'll even pay for my own flight lessons.
10. No one will know (via Shit my LPO says).
Probably a submariner. They're experts in staying secret.
11. Oh, you thought you might see your family before you leave for a year or more?
(via Decelerate Your Life)
It's all essential training. Now get in there and learn not to sexually assault one another.
12. The difference between "sick call" and "calling in sick" is wider than most civilians think (via Why I'm Not Re-enlisting).
Like, only one of those things works at all.
13. Powerpoint Ranger, Powerpoint Ranger, where have you been?
(via Military World)
Around the shared drive, and back again.