Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of May 26

The week is over, but this memes list is just getting started. Here are 13 of the best times that words were paired with a picture on the internet this week:


1. 50 feet after they step off, the airmen are dropping like flies (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

Apparently, staplers don't provide proper calluses.

2. The groin protectors help a little, but you're still boned (via Military World).

Feel all the air coming out of your lungs? That's the suck. Embrace it.

3. To be fair, this is pretty exciting (via Team Non-Rec).

It tastes like schnozzberries!

Also see: That time CBS captured an intense firefight in Vietnam >

4. If you get it, you get it (via The Salty Soldier).

If not, ask for Season 1 of Rick and Morty as your re-enlistment bonus.

5. You seem to have a leak that has covered 70 percent of the Earth's surface (via Decelerate Your Life).

Figure it out.

6. It just can't wait to get some more lifting in, make those gains (via Air Force Nation).

Nom nom nom, gonna eat a tank or two.

7. That's one shiny bag of trash you got there (via Coast Guard Memes).

If only it were useful.

8. Might be wishing for too much (via Decelerate Your Life).

We got you a chain of command. Oh, a good one? Sorry, fresh out.

9. To all the people who still aren't master chiefs, sorry (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

Not sure if baseballs to the chest will help, but it can't hurt much more than getting passed over yet again.

10. Ummmm... can I opt for the cash instead? (via Why I'm Not Re-enlisting)

Because I'm pretty sure I could find both food and apartments without black mold all over them.

11. They were as-holes, but jumping in with machine guns and bicycles is still pretty cool (via Military World).

Gonna have to kill them for supporting an evil, mass-murdering regime, but respect those skills.

12. You were supposed to do the survey long before the intranet existed (via Shit my LPO says).

Not sure why you dragged your feet for over 100 years.

13. Army tuition assistance didn't make it into the new budget proposals (via Why I'm Not Re-enlisting).

But you can buy a Little Golden Book for like, three bucks.

Humor

The truth about cell phones in Basic Training

Thank god you got out when you did! The moment you received your DD-214, it was officially an end of an era. Hopefully, your branch won't fall victim like all those other, weaker branches did. It's Lord of the Flies in here.

New recruits are arriving in droves and they're pulling out their cell phones to record themselves talking back to their drill sergeants. If the drill sergeants have a problem with it, they whip out their stress cards, go back to eating their Tide Pods, and continue listening to their music (which, coincidentally, has gotten progressively worse since your generation, too).

Keep reading... Show less
Articles

How R. Lee Ermey's Hollywood break is an inspiration to us all

While there have been many outstanding actors and celebrities who have raised their right hand, there has never been a veteran who could finger point his way to the top of Hollywood stardom quite like the late great Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey.

Keep reading... Show less
Military Life

5 reasons your troops are more important than promotion

If there's one complaint common across the military, it's that commanders too often care more about their careers than the well-being of their troops. It's problematic when higher-ups are willing to put lower enlisted through hell if it means they look good at the end of the day.

Keep reading... Show less
Military Life

'Operation Cure Boredom' is a funny, unrepentant look back at life in the 1990s Air Force

The following is an excerpt from the first book by Air Force veteran and Hollywood writer Dan Martin. Titled Operation Cure Boredom, it's a hilarious collection of short stories chronicling the adventures of Martin's 1990-1994 enlistment in the world's best Air Force.

This chapter, called "Guest on the Range," is about the extraordinary lengths Martin went to in order to qualify on the firing range as a junior enlisted Crew Chief.

Keep reading... Show less
Military Life

The top 6 reasons people decide to join the infantry

Deciding to join the military is a huge step for anyone looking to make a life-altering change. One of the most appealing aspects of becoming a member of the armed forces is the vast array of professional opportunities the service offers.

You can sign up, ship out, and, within a few short months, be guarding a military installation as your newfound brothers- and sisters-in-arms sleep.

Keep reading... Show less
GEAR & TECH

These high-tech glasses could change how sailors train

Training has evolved over the years but the core elements have always remained the same. There's an instructor and a bunch of students. They go over material, both in theory and in practice, mastering the skills required by the job. But no matter how good the teacher, students will always need a refresher from time to time. So, that means it's time to go back to school — or does it?

Now, mixed-reality technology — including smart glasses — could change the way sailors learn the skills they need to serve.

Keep reading... Show less
Entertainment

6 US conflicts that would (probably) make terrible video games

When developers set out to make video games, their focus should always primarily be on crafting a fun and engaging experience. Oftentimes, you'll see video games set far in the future so that developers can place an arsenal of advanced, sci-fi weaponry in the hands of the player — because it's fun. Other times, they'll take cues from real wars and toss the player directly into the heat of a historical battle — because that's fun, too.

Keep reading... Show less
Tactical

How to start a fire with only one hand

Heading out into the wilderness for a camping trip is exhilarating and refreshing. Starting a campfire and roasting some marshmallows under the stars is a great way to get in touch with Mother Nature. Although the idea of spending a night in the great outdoors sounds incredible, campers should always remember to bring specific tools and learn important survival skills in the event they sustain an injury and help is far, far away.

It gets cold out there at night, so it's important to know the basics of starting a fire to keep warm — even in the dire circumstance that you've been injured. Do you know how to start a fire with just one hand? You never know — this skill might just save your life.

Keep reading... Show less