5 ways your platoon would be different with Rambo in charge

Tim Kirkpatrick
Jan 28, 2019 6:39 PM PST
1 minute read
Humor photo

SUMMARY

The early 1980s brought us some epic action movies like “Conan the Barbarian,” “Blade Runner,” and let’s not forget “E.T.” Although these films were fun to watch, they didn’t have the impact on veterans like the movie “First …

The early 1980s brought us some epic action movies like "Conan the Barbarian," "Blade Runner," and let's not forget "E.T."


Although these films were fun to watch, they didn't have the impact on veterans like the movie "First Blood" did.

Directed by Ted Kotcheff, John J. Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) was a former Green Beret who just wanted to visit his Vietnam buddy when things took a turn for the worse and he ended up battling a small town's police force after an unlawful arrest.

Rambo is a badass — case closed.

Related: 5 heroic movie acts a military officer would never do

But we've always wondered what it would have been like to serve under his command. Here's our take on how being in Rambo's platoon would be.

1. Alternate shooting techniques

In most boot camps we're taught proper weapons handling. But forget all those safety briefs you were forced to listen to when Capt. Rambo reports in as the new commanding officer, because every shot you fire from here on out will be from your hip.

Plus it looks awesome if you can handle the recoil. (Giphy)

2. No bayonets

Having the ability to mount a knife on the barrel of your rifle isn't enough.

If you were in Rambo's company, your blade would have to be up to such standards that it can slice a bad guy up and be thrown across the room with perfect precision.

Aim for the center mass (Giphy)

3. Your new sidearm

Rambo is going to require you to replace your 9mm service pistol with a crazy deadly bow and arrow that will make your enemy blow up wherever they stand.

What a sh*tty way to die. (Giphy)

4. Uniform changes

You must be shirtless at all times when you go to war. That is all.

It's time to gear up and get in the fight! (Giphy)

Also Read: 5 epic military movie mistakes

5. No sick call

You won't be allowed to go to medical to get patched up if you have some needle and thread handy — you'll just do it yourself.

Going to the hospital is for p*ssies (Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

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