Articles

8 awful songs that make combat camera troops want to die

You let us tag along on your convoy. You let us raid a house in the stack. You watched our ass while our head was in a camera viewfinder. You even let us eat your food. So when you ask us for some of the footage of the unit in action we're happy to oblige.


You see how combat camera has to face the opposite direction of where all the grunts are looking? We kinda owe you one for stopping whatever comes that way.

When you want us to make a music video of it, no problem, even though we know using copyrighted music is illegal. We want you to keep letting us roll with you...and for you to keep saving our asses.

But then one of your officers tells us to use one of these eight songs and it makes us die inside.

1. Drowning Pool — "Bodies"

This is by far the most overused song ever paired with combat camera footage (with "Soldiers" a close second). And it's not just commanders asking combat camera to do this. Civilians do this ad nauseam.

That video has more than a million views. A MILLION. I don't understand the enduring popularity of this song, but if there's a better or more obvious song about killing a lot of people, I haven't heard it.

2. Saliva — "Click Click Boom"

A full 20 percent of YouTube is probably the same video footage of the military with this Saliva song — this Saliva song about how great the lead singer's childhood was and how totally awesome it is that he's on the radio now.

I wish Beavis and Butthead were around to rip on this band. Still, it does make it pretty easy to edit a video fast, even if I feel like a complete hack afterward.

3. Outkast — "B.O.B."

Civilians also like to make videos with this song. Which is understandable but, except for the title "Bombs Over Baghdad," it's not really about anything military related.

The only lyric the casual listener probably understands for most of the song is "Bombs Over Baghdad," so when you send it to your mom, she gets the point of the video, and can't really hear about the struggles of Andre 3000 and Big Boi's pre-stardom struggle.

4. Chad Kroeger ft. Josey Scott — "Hero"

The singers from Nickelback AND Saliva. Enough said. Good lord this song was so big in 2002-2003. You'll be just as proud of a video featuring you clearing houses to this song as you are your trucker hat collection and your flip phone.

This song was supposed to be an uplifting anthem for the first Spider-Man movie but it's the most depressing song I've ever been asked to use in any video ever. I bet if you asked Kirsten Dunst what the low point of her career was, it would be that she didn't have the choice to be excluded from this music video.

5. P.O.D. — "Boom"

Another band who sings about how they're a band now. If you haven't noticed the trend, guitar riffs and shouting "boom" were super popular in the early 2000s.

P.O.D. is the MySpace of metal. They're still around but no one knows why.

6. Toby Keith — "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue"

This song is so cheesy, I'm actually surprised Chad Kroeger didn't write it, but maybe there are some things even Pop Rock Jesus won't do. Some of you might think this song is awesome but I doubt you'd play it at a party in front of all your friends.

Also Toby Keith got more awards and plaques from military units just for singing this song than some people got for actually enlisting after 9/11.

7. Godsmack — "I Stand Alone"

Forget for a moment that the frontman sounds like Adam Sandler's impression of Eddie Vedder. This song's lyrics read like they were translated from Nepali by Google Translate. Also, unless your unit is the 300 Spartans at Thermopylae (it isn't), you definitely don't stand alone.

8. AC/DC — "Thunderstruck"

Ok, this isn't an awful song. I mean, I get why you might want six minutes of your squadron or platoon blowing things up to AC/DC. But, aside from the opening minute and a half or so, this is could be any AC/DC song. All AC/DC songs sound like this. That's why we love them.

Special Award:

Nazareth — Hair of the Dog

To be honest, this request only happened once, but do you really think any young Marine is going to love watching themselves on a dismounted patrol to this song?

Why not just have me choose something from Chicago's greatest hits? If I gave any grunt a music video of themselves with this song, they'd beat my Air Force ass so hard.

There's no joke here, I'd just get my ass kicked.

International

What a Korean peace could mean for the nature preserve at the DMZ

The 2.5-mile wide, 148-mile long stretch of land that separates South Korea from North Korea is undoubtedly the most fortified border in the world. Landmines dot the land and each side is ready to destroy the other at a moment's notice.

The land between them, however, has been untouched by humans for roughly sixty years and, as a result, hosts a unique composition of flora and fauna. With recent peace talks between North and South Korea, this could all be in danger.

Keep reading... Show less
Articles

How R. Lee Ermey's Hollywood break is an inspiration to us all

While there have been many outstanding actors and celebrities who have raised their right hand, there has never been a veteran who could finger point his way to the top of Hollywood stardom quite like the late great Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey.

Keep reading... Show less

Travis Manion Foundation honors fallen Marine — and builds America at the same time

Travis Manion Foundation empowers veterans and families of fallen heroes while striving to strengthen America's national character. The non-profit was named for 1st Lt. Travis Manion, a Marine who was killed by an enemy sniper while saving his wounded teammates on April 29, 2007.

Today, Travis Manion Foundation exists to carry on the legacy of character, service, and leadership embodied by Travis and all those who have served and continue to serve our nation.

Keep reading... Show less
GEAR & TECH

4 reasons why 360-degree cameras should be on the battlefield

Within the last few years, 360-degree cameras have hit the market and they're changing the way we record our favorite memories. They may also have implications for how our nation fights its enemies.

When it comes to fighting a ground war, having as many sets of surveilling eyes as possible is a good idea — an idea that could save lives.

Keep reading... Show less
History

Why the Tokyo Raiders didn't bomb the Japanese emperor

In the wake of the attack on Pearl Harbor, America was very angry and very eager to kick some ass — hence the decision to carry out the Doolittle raid. America wanted to take the fight to the enemy, and we wanted to do so as soon as possible.

Keep reading... Show less

11 memes that will remind you of living in the barracks

Living in a military barracks is an experience unlike any other. You'll either get stuck in an absolute sh*thole where nothing works or, by some crazy stroke of luck, you'll score a place in a little palace that has a functioning TV.

Regardless, you'll come away with some epic memories of dumb working parties and hilarious stories of trying to sneak temporary partners through your front door.

Keep reading... Show less
Lists

4 reasons why the quiet sergeants are the scariest ones

Many civilians have a twisted understanding of how the military operates. Honestly, it might be best not to correct them. Their minds would be collectively blown if they knew the magnitude of downtime and dumb things that happen to our nation's fighting men and women.

Keep reading... Show less

Everybody involved in that dino puppet reenlistment video just got fired

In the worst military overreaction since the Faber College ROTC pledge pin incident of 1962, the Tennessee National Guard's adjutant general announced April 18, 2018, that everyone involved in a recent viral video of a kooky reenlistment ceremony would have their careers wrecked, because that's how you honor our military traditions, dammit.

Keep reading... Show less