Triston Chase allegedly claimed to be an EOD tech attending a top-secret school while squatting in barracks at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. Pictured: How badly Chase would have likely stood out if placed next to actual EOD soldiers. Photo: US Army
Valor thieves are some of the most obnoxious wannabes on the planet, but at least they're easy to spot. With all the militaries' peculiar rules and jargon, most stolen valor culprits are quickly outed by a misplaced uniform ribbon or a slip of the tongue.
Which makes it all the more amazing that one likely survived for months on an active duty post while living in special operations barracks and surrounded by actual soldiers. And, he was conducting room inspections and signing out keys to others while he did it. He was only caught after being arrested for DUI.
This guy allegedly lied and committed felonies to live in such glamorous living accommodations as these. Photo: US Marine Corps
So how did a poser manage to get access to one of America's most active bases, slip into the ranks among some of the nation's finest warriors, and then get the keys to the building he was squatting in? According to an investigation uncovered by the Fayetteville Observer, a 20-year-old kid just lied. And not even that well.
The Observer's writer, Amanda Dolasinski, matched up details from the Army investigation to the arrest of Triston Marquell Chase, a 20-year-old. Chase has a criminal record for various felonies including identity theft.
Chase allegedly used the ID card of another soldier, which he found or stole, to get on base. He then got a key to the barracks from someone other than the barracks manager. To get out of physical training and other formations, he told people that he was an explosive ordnance disposal technician attending a top secret school. Once in the barracks, he set up a cozy life for himself.
Actual EOD techs are smart enough to engineer their way past anti-tank mines. Triston Chase is so dumb he thinks that talking openly about top-secret schools is a thing. Photo: US Army Pfc. Elizabeth Erste
He invited women, who would often bring food, into the third-floor room. Other soldiers reported that he conducted room inspections and signed rooms out to new soldiers. So, this squatter successfully gained the ability to run the building he was illegally staying in.
He also borrowed vehicles from soldiers in the barracks and filled his Snapchat account with photos from around the building.
Chase's amazing alleged adventure came to an end when he pulled into the Fort Bragg KFC's parking lot where military police were talking to a driver who had attempted to flee. Chase, visibly intoxicated, pulled up to the scene and told police that he was worried about one of his soldiers.
When driving drunk, most people avoid police officers who know how to use rocket launchers. Triston Chase is not one of those people. Photo: US Army Spc. Christopher Grammer
The police administered a field sobriety test (because as police officers that's a thing they can do). According to the investigation, Chase then told the police, "Yeah, I'm wasted."
Chase's completely sober female passenger at the time was allowed to leave. No report on why he didn't ask her to drive him.
Once 3rd Group became aware of the suspect incident, they quickly launched an investigation. When the investigating officer caught up with Chase, the fake soldier was leading a formation of six people. He told the officer that he had recently transferred into 3rd Group from the 82nd Airborne Division's Delta company.
For the record, 82nd has a lot of Delta companies. That's why actual soldiers will also list the battalions and brigades of the Delta company they were in.
As the officer began calling the valor thief on his bull, the story quickly unraveled and the Fort Bragg Provost Marshal Office got involved. Chase was arrested and is facing a number of new felony charges. Meanwhile, 3rd Group is trying to get their ducks in a row in terms of barracks security.
Chase may go down in history as one of the ballsiest valor thieves ever caught. Not many of them take over barracks buildings or lead formations.