Articles

7 first-world problems only Post-9/11 troops will understand

Troops serving in Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere face plenty of hardships, from the threat of enemy fire to spending time far away from their loved ones.


While these can be serious problems for troops in harm's way, there are also some other "first-world problems" that some of today's military members are dealing with that their forefathers didn't have time for. The keyword here is "some."

Plenty of Post-9/11 troops have it rough on deployment and serve under extremely spartan conditions, while others live on sprawling bases with plenty of amenities. In Iraq and Afghanistan, experiences may vary. Your grandfather wasn't complaining about the WiFi going down before he stormed the beach at Guadalcanal. Just sayin'.

If you find yourself complaining about the things below while overseas, you should stop, read the book "With the Old Breed," then hang your head in shame. [Editor's note: If you haven't figured it out by now, this is lighthearted ribbing, all in good fun, and not to be taken too seriously.]

1. "The port-a-johns are too far away from my tent."

Most forward operating bases (FOBs) in Iraq and Afghanistan are outfitted with plenty of general-purpose tents, Hesco barriers, and portable toilets. Unlike your old man having to dig a slit trench in Vietnam, you just have to walk to an outhouse that gets cleaned out every day.

The struggle is real.

2. "The guy at the DFAC won't give me seconds."

In the Post-9/11 era of war-fighting, the U.S. tried to bring all the creature comforts of home to Iraq and Afghanistan, including your base chow hall. Except this one is not just any chow hall. It's a dining facility with a salad bar, and steak and lobster on Fridays.

World War II veterans want to throw their C-rations at your face right now.

3. "The bazaar doesn't have the latest season of 'Grey's Anatomy' that I wanted."

Plenty of FOBs have bazaars where locals sell everything from cheap TVs, rugs, and bootleg DVDs. Locals come on base and sell their wares and troops happily oblige, but not all is well in Afghan-land. You just got finished watching the last of your "Grey's Anatomy" episodes and if the shopkeeper doesn't have the latest, you're going to be forced to watch some movie you've already watched ten times this deployment.

What? You watched a movie ten times this deployment? That old-timer at the VFW who served in Korea worried about more important things, like not freezing. How's the A/C in your tent working, by the way?

4. "The internet is down."

You are thousands of miles away from home — singularly focused on delivering 5.56 mm of freedom to the enemies of the United States — and working hard to serve that end, and, OH GOD, THE INTERNET IS DOWN.

While you are calling the S-6 shop to whine about not being able to access your Facebook account to instantly message your girlfriend, remember to think about your grandfather handwriting letters back home that would be delivered four months later.

5. "Is that incoming? No, that's outgoing. That's gotta be outgoing."

I'll be the first to admit I've actually said this one. When you're sitting inside your nice tent watching a riveting episode of "The O.C." you definitely don't want to be interrupted. On heavily-protected FOBs, big attacks rarely happen, since the bad guys mostly harass with indirect fire from rockets and mortars. It's usually ineffective.

The boys of Easy Co. don't really relate.

6. "Ugh. We have to go sit in the bunker until IDF stops."

When you finally figure out that yes, it is in fact, incoming. Those ineffective rockets need to be kept ineffective, so off to the concrete bunker you go. Yes, that's right, you have a bunker made of concrete that some Seabee put there with a crane.

That's almost the same as the grunts in Vietnam who built bunkers entirely with wood and thousands of sandbags, filled with their hands and e-tools. Almost.

7. "I've got blisters on my thumb from playing Playstation so much."

Ok, fine. Pass me the damn controller. I want to learn what fighting in World War II was like by playing "Brothers in Arms."

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