The weird arms race between Napoleon and England
If you were a higher-up in the British Empire in the late 1790s, you were probably a little freaked out, and understandably so. You’d just said goodbye to the American colonies and watched the French populace rise up in bloody revolution against their monarchic government—and now French general Napoleon Bonaparte was seizing territory all over Europe and even beyond. You wouldn’t be crazy to think that the general had his eye on the British Isles next. But exactly how you expected the French armies to land on British shores… let’s just say the Brits let their imaginations run away with them a little bit.
For your viewing pleasure, we’ve collected a series of slightly bonkers popular engravings of imaginary invasion methods dating between 1798 and 1805, when the Napoleon’s troops seemed to be looming on the horizon.
Napoleon’s moving castle
This slightly histrionic plan from 1798 shows perhaps the most visually striking paranoid fantasy to come out of the period. In it, a massive windmill-propelled barge carries not only 60,000 men but also an entire castle across the English Channel.
Similarly relying on windmills for power, this illustration of an invasion raft described by a French prisoner of war (who we assume got a kick out of the credulous Brits) somehow makes even less sense than the barge above. It’s basically a fortress on a floating island. Not the most hydrodynamic contraption—and what happens if the water is choppy?
This… thing, part 2
Also from 1798 is this intricate engraving of the imaginary “Raft St. Malo,” which was likely based on the same false information as the last raft. It allegedly “was 600 feet long by 300 broad, mounts 500 pieces of cannon, 36 and 48-pounders, and is to convey 15,000 troops for the invasion of England. In the midst is a bomb-proof, metal-sheathed citadel.”
Oh look, a real boat
Dating to 1803, when hostilities broke out again after a hiatus, this print showing “A Correct VIEW of the FRENCH FLAT-BOTTOM BOATS intended to convey their TROOPS for the INVASION of ENGLAND” is a little more realistic. As the National Maritime Museum explains,
Unlike the earlier prints… with their monstrous and bizarre ‘rafts’ for transporting huge numbers of troops, this shows much more feasible vessels and appears to be based on much better founded information.
“My ass in a band box”
Not all Brits bought into the technological hype, however. The cartoon above shows a small-statured Napoleon on a donkey, sailing over to the British Isles in a decidedly non-threatening box labeled “Invasion.”
Balloons, ships, and a tunnel
Perhaps the craziest idea came from Napoleon himself, who imagined a three-pronged approach to invading Britain using hot air balloons, ships, and foot soldiers via a tunnel dug under the English Channel, as illustrated in this 1803 French engraving.
So what actually happened? None of the above. Urged on by fears of French innovation, the British government invested heavily in defense measures, including a number of forts and a massive naval blockade of the Channel. Napoleon’s attempt to piece together a big enough flotilla to break through the blockade ended up being a major flop.
- The Ancient Romans Punished Dad-Killers In a Really Weird Way
- The History of Islam's Golden Age: Part 3
- France Has Her Own Lady Liberty, and Her Name is Marianne
- 5 Times Carrie Fisher Made Hollywood History
- This Philosopher Chose Relationships with Poodles Over People
- The History of Hanukkah Gelt
Follow @historybuffcom on Twitter .
SpaceX launching a third top-secret satellite
SpaceX is launching a secretive mission this month. The mission, shrouded in secrecy, has some considering it may be for the CIA or the NSA.
This is how the Air Force will use prop planes on high-tech battlefields
The Air Force is looking toward a light-attack aircraft program, known as OA-X, to produce a plane that meets its needs and gets the job done.
A retired SEAL commander on how to stop thinking and 'get after it' every day
This former Navy commander has some excellent advice on how to jump start your day, and "get some" in order to make it as productive as possible.
Marines return to battle in 'old stomping grounds'
The Marines recall their "old stomping grounds" as they return to Fallujah and the surround areas of Al Anbar Province to battle a new enemy.
How Chinese drones are set to swarm the global market
China has stepped up it's drone game, and even though United States technology can still compete, China's drones are kind of really in demand.
That time two countries' Special Forces squared off in combat
In an area the size of the Falkland Islands, British and Argentine special operators were bound to run into each other at some point – a lot.
5 times pilots got in trouble for having fun in the sky
When pilots decide to do some fancy flying in their high-performance fighters, it can land them in trouble once they're back on the ground.
This is why Nazis dubbed these paratroopers 'devils in baggy pants'
"American paratroopers – devils in baggy pants – are less than 100 meters from my outpost line. I can’t sleep at night," wrote one German commander.
9 ISIS weapon fails that you have to see to believe
Many bad guys just want record themselves laying rounds down range for social media purposes — and we're glad they did. Laugh away, America!