The 13 funniest military memes for the week of January 18th

It seems like everyone is doing that dumb "ten year's difference" thing on Facebook. Personally, I think this is just depressing for the military community no matter how you slice it.

Either you're a young troop who's now reminded of how goofy they looked as a civilian, you're a senior enlisted/officer who's now reminded of how much of a dumb boot they once were, or you're a veteran who's being reminded of how in shape you once were ten years ago.

If you're an older vet who's been out for longer than ten years, well, you're probably the same salty person in the photo, and no one could tell the difference or that you aged. Maybe a bit more gray and less hair.

Anyways. The Coast Guard hasn't been paid, but at least these memes are free!

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History

That time pilots dropped terrifying darts out of their planes at the enemy

The first World War was a horrific time to be a soldier on the frontlines. Nations were in a rush to quickly develop and implement the newest and most effective tools of destruction. Before the war, troops had no idea of the true devastation that a tank, fighter pilot, or the various gas canisters could bring.

Then, there were the flechette darts that — thankfully — never really took off. To be frank, they sound a little silly. They're just oversized versions of the darts that troops would toss around at their local pub — what's the big deal? In reality, they were more like something out of a freakin' horror movie.

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Why the Supreme Court's ruling on burn pits will have catastrophic effects

Burn pits are, without a shadow of a doubt, the post-9/11 veteran's Agent Orange. Countless troops have been exposed to the toxic gases given off by the mishandling of dangerous substances, and twelve veterans have died as a direct result of this negligence. Everything from heart disease to lung cancer has been found in veterans who have been exposed to the fumes.

There were over sixty different lawsuits raised against KBR, a former subsidiary of Halliburton that oversees the waste "management," and each was struck down in court. A final nail was added to the proverbial coffin recently when the Supreme Court ruled to uphold the decision of the Court of Appeals, stating KBR wasn't liable for their actions because they were under military direction.

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Entertainment

Why the new 'John Wick 3' trailer has us pumped

It's rare for a film franchise to come out of nowhere and blow everyone away to the magnitude of Summit Entertainment's John Wick. It's a masterclass in storytelling through a character's actions as opposed to pointless, exposition-heavy dialogue. The beautiful cinematography and the use of color to tell a story is, frankly, mind-blowing. But all of those elements pale in comparison to the breathtaking action sequences that make up the bulk of the series.

Today, the first trailer for the third installment dropped and it looks like it's going to be an insane ride from the very beginning. In true John Wick fashion, the trailer doesn't outright tell you what's happening, but if you know what you're looking for, you can piece together everything.

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The Army secretary officially nixed daytime PT belts — and it's about time

He did it. He finally did it. Secretary of the Army Mark Esper has recently signed a memorandum that states the high-visibility belt, better known as the PT belt, isn't required in the daytime. On top of this, he removed pointless PowerPoint presentations, implemented a fitness test that revolves around a soldier's combat readiness potential, and has pushed for a return to training focused on military operations as opposed to training for training's sake.

Madness. This is absolute madness. What's next? Is walking on grass going to be okay? What about weekly PMCSs where soldiers kick the tires and say they're good? Will the Army acknowledge that a leader's evaluation report should also be created with input from randomly-selected direct subordinates to discourage asskissery and brown-nosing, providing an accurate reflection of that leader's ability? These are indeed dark times, according to the people who say the Old Army died a few years after they ETSed.

Sarcasm aside, the Good-Idea Fairy has finally been questioned and wearing reflective belts during the daytime has been ruled officially useless.

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Veterans

This proposed legislation could make it easier for troops to receive care packages

While deployed, there's always a bit of joy that buzzes around the squad when a care package arrives. Troops gather around their squad leader as they disperse the sweets, trinkets, and amenities given by the charitable folks back home. It's not uncommon for battle-hardened warfighters to genuinely crack an enormous smile when they receive something that reminds them of home.

Recently, certain regulations consolidated the shipping rates for packages being sent to an Army Post Office (APO), Fleet Post Office (FPO) or Diplomatic Post Office (DPO) mailing address — which only put added financial strain on those kind-willed folks sending packages. The costs can also really add up for charities who send mass quantities of care packages. Ultiltaemy, this means fewer care packages being sent to the troops still fighting overseas today.

There is a glimmer of hope. U.S. Congressman Donald Norcross of New Jersey's First District recently introduced the "Care Packages for Our Heroes Act of 2019," or H.R. 400, that aims to greatly reduce the costs and spread more cheer among the troops.

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Here are the unhelpful tips the Coast Guard gave to help get through the furlough

Times are tough right now for the Coasties. Since they're essential personnel, they have to work but, apparently, they're not essential enough to get paid during this government shutdown. They got lucky with the December 31st paycheck, but things aren't looking so good for the mid-January paycheck.

Missing even a single paycheck is going to cause massive ripples that will unceremoniously toss many of them into unnecessary debt. This is a serious problem for our brothers and sisters who serve in the Coast Guard, and there's no amount of "nice words" that can smooth over the pain they're feeling — only paying their rent can do that.

To make matters even more awkward, the Coast Guard officially put out a five-page sheet on how to "help" their troops. It has since been rescinded and taken down, probably because it felt a lot like putting salt on the wounds.

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The 13 funniest military memes for the week of January 11th

Now that the military life is thoroughly back into full swing after the new year lull, I'm going to make a wild guess and assume that a large portion of the grunts are now going to go out into the field "to make up for lost time." Have fun with that.

To a certain extent, I understand summer field problems. Go out and train for what you'll do on a deployment. And I get that there are certain parts of RC-North, Afghanistan, that get cold as balls, so acclimatizing makes sense. But winter field exercises back stateside just teaches troops one crucial thing: never second guess the packing list.

You'll be doing the exact same as thing you'll do during every other field exercise, but if you, for some reason, forget gloves... Well, you're f*cked.

For the rest of you POGs who're still lounging around the training room on your cell phones, have some memes!

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Why the Army should consider bringing back the Pathfinders

There's an old saying: "It's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it." This perfectly sums up the role of the U.S. Army Pathfinders — that is, until Big Army cut sling load on them.

As of Feb. 24, 2017, the last Pathfinder company in the active duty United States Army, F Company, 2nd Assault Helicopter Battalion, 82nd Combat Aviation Brigade, cased their colors, putting an end to decades of highly trained soldiers quickly inserting themselves into hostile territory to secure sites for air support. Before that, the provisional pathfinder companies across the Army quietly cased their colors as well.

The decision to slowly phase out the Pathfinders was a difficult one. Today, the responsibility resides with all troops as the need for establishing new zones in the longest modern war in American history became less of a priority. Yet that doesn't mean that there won't be a need for their return at any given moment.

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