The top 007 Reasons why James Bond is the worst spy ever

Mandy Baker
Jul 12, 2021 11:05 PM PDT
3 minute read
The top 007 Reasons why James Bond is the worst spy ever

SUMMARY

James Bond has long been the most famous “secret agent” out there. Everyone knows James Bond, and it is rare to meet someone who hasn’t seen at least one of the films. Like with most films of that kind, there are a lot of issues with the characte…

James Bond has long been the most famous "secret agent" out there. Everyone knows James Bond, and it is rare to meet someone who hasn't seen at least one of the films. Like with most films of that kind, there are a lot of issues with the character and storylines in general. Take for instance the fact that they call him a "secret agent" when he is in fact an Intelligence Officer. Add to that he doesn't have a line manager, but instead somehow reports directly to the head of MI-6. Then there is the reality that a "license to kill" doesn't really exist. Despite these tiny issues with details, the films are actually quite good. However, there are many reasons that James Bond truly is the worst spy ever, even if he is a fictional character. Here are the top 007 reasons:


He carries a gun on airplanes

He walks on and off commercial flights with a shoulder holster on and is never once stopped by security. He strolls through the airport fully armed and no one seems to notice or be bothered by the fact that an armed man in a suit is boarding a flight. Even if he has it in his bag instead, it is still never questioned. In reality, he probably would have received a weapon when he arrived at his destination, not carry it on an airplane with him.

He constantly destroys or loses his equipment

He is regularly issued with equipment, weapons and vehicles that are worth millions. However, he never returns any of it, at least not in the same condition he gets it. You would think when given the highest levels of technological advancements in "spy gear," weapons and cars, one would be inclined to take extra special care of it all.

Okay, so "Q" knew this one wasn't coming back. But still... (MGM)

He is always being captured and/or beaten up

Despite the fact that he is a highly trained intelligence officer, who is supposed to be aware of his surroundings at all times and the number one rule of intelligence is "never get caught," Mr. Bond is constantly being captured by the baddies he is after. Even if he isn't being captured, he is getting beaten up by any number of people associated with whichever villain he is chasing. Where is all that training he meant to have?

He never follows orders

"It's not cute anymore, James." (MGM)

The intelligence world does leave some wiggle room to think on your feet, but a big part of it is also following the orders you are given. James Bond never does that. It doesn't matter what anyone says or tells him to do, he does the opposite. He always feels that he is in the right and he does his own thing at all times, no matter the consequences.

He travels under his own name

Anyone who knows anything about intelligence knows that they absolutely never travel using their own identity whilst on operations. That is part of the whole point of what they do. However, James Bond who is supposed to be one of the best, always travels under his own name and with his own documents.

He always draws attention to himself

Oh, wait... this getting very familiar all of a sudden

One of the biggest parts of intelligence training is how to never get noticed. For someone who is supposed to be a spy or secret agent or intelligence officer, depending on what you like, he draws an awful lot of attention to himself. He drives expensive cars, wears ridiculously expensive suits and stays at five-star hotels. Not to mention the fact that he is always blowing things up and firing his weapon in highly public places.

Everyone knows who he is 

The number one reason James Bond is the worst spy ever: Everyone knows exactly who he is. Every bad guy, every hotel receptionist, every bartender knows his name. He walks into a bar and is greeted with, "Good evening, Mr. Bond." Plus, they know exactly what he drinks! Villains know his reputation and that he has a license to kill. They all know him on sight. To top it off they all know his 00 code number … His secret code number. The number of times an adversary uses 007 is absolutely astounding. This alone is enough to make James Bond the worst spy ever.

WORST...
...SPY...
...EVER.

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