The internet is a giant dumpster fire but it is made slightly redeemable based on pop-culture content shared by your favorite Air Force vet random and completely unnecessary but much-needed gems like the reviews of the Three Wolf Moon shirt or everything surrounding the Storm Area 51 event.

The internet also gives us access to hot takes we never knew we needed, like Sean Kelly's deepest, most pure thoughts on Star Trek transporters.


In the Star Trek franchise, a matter transportation device — or "transporter" — dematerializes matter (humanoids, objects, etc) and sends their constituent particles in the form of energy to another location before reconverting them back to their original form.

It's cool futuristic technology, but it also makes for convenient story-telling. Need to get your characters down to that strange alien ship? Energize away! Need to rescue them in the knick of time before a singularity in a planetary core destroys them all? Beam them up, Scotty, and don't be a b**** about it!

But, as Kelly points out, there are some missed opportunities for the inhabitants of the many Star Trek worlds when it comes to transporter capabilities. Why? Well, because television is only entertaining when the characters have obstacles to overcome.

Still, thanks to Kelly, we can debate the implications of transporter potential to our little hearts' content. From medicinal achievements to murder, those transporters could do some crazy sh** if Star Trek writers wanted them to.

I mean, Star Trek has very horny roots, so I'm honestly surprised this hasn't happened yet. Maybe in Season 2 of Picard?

After mulling over some pretty basic possibilities for transporter use, Kelly starts to spiral exceptionally into Riker's soul, Mirror Universe bisexuals, and rather creative weaponry implications.

Not to mention the Ship of Theseus Paradox, which fans of The Prestige might be familiar with. The paradox poses the philosophical question about whether a ship that has systematically had all of its parts replaced is actually the same ship at the end of the journey. In other words, if a person's matter is dematerialized, will that actual person rematerialize on the other end — or have they essentially died while their copy continues to live?

F*** it! Sign us up!