Military Life

3 tips for picking out a wife right before a deployment

It's no secret that both male and female troops tend to get married right before a long deployment to collect and save some extra cash. Although contract marriages are illegal in the military, that doesn't stop many troops from heading down to city hall or finding a justice of the peace to recite a few words and signing their names on a marriage license.


If you have the money and a potential spouse, you can plan a cheap wedding within an hour — depending on your location. Since most contract marriages end in divorce (go figure), it's important to cover your own six when you're out and about looking for that year-long husband or wife.

But, before you head out and find that special someone, read these tips — they just might save your ass later on.

1. Should I or shouldn't I just marry a stripper?

Countless troops have gone out to their local boobie-bars to do exactly this. That fact is, strippers are humans, too, and they're just trying to make ends meet like you, so that extra cash seems pretty good. However, never go after one that works near a military base, especially your military base.

Other service members are nosy and command "red flags" those types of relationship behaviors. So, if you're going to marry a stripper, don't go next door and do it a few months prior to deployment to give it some buffering time. It looks better on paper that way.

2. Use that dating app on your phone

Like they say, "there are plenty of fish in the sea." Now, this might sound a little f*cked up, but look for a guy or gal with a kid or two. Chances are that their standards are a bit lower than those who don't have children.

Now, we're not saying you have the right to play games with peoples' minds and hearts, but they, too, might be in a financial bind and you can bring the marriage idea up to them when the time is right.

3. Get in touch with an ex back in your home town

The best way to keep your fake marriage under wraps is to keep your new spouse far, far away from anything that resembles a military base. You're still in contact with your family back home anyway, so you might as well drop a "hey" to your single ex that isn't yet sure what they want out of life.

We all personally know someone who's married their ex. There's a history there behind the happy couple, which validates the union and lowers your chances of getting caught.

Think about it.

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