10 times Russian troll-bots fooled the West - We Are The Mighty
Humor

10 times Russian troll-bots fooled the West

During the 2016 election, Russian-linked bots and trolls on social media attempted to inflame relations among Americans by spreading fake news and highlighting vulnerable racial and political divisions. They bought ads on Twitter and shared posts on Facebook, concealing their identities while pretending to be real Americans.


But the Kremlin has another, more conspicuous way of spreading propaganda and trolling the West that doesn’t normally get as much attention.

In the last few years, Russia has used official government Twitter accounts to undermine the West and hit back against criticism, often with tantalizing and meme-filled rhetoric. The Twitter accounts of Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MFA) and its Embassy in the UK, both of which tweet in English, have been particularly active.

On Nov. 14 for example, after UK Prime Minister Theresa May slammed Russia for planting fake stories and photo-shopping images on social media “in an attempt to sow discord in the West,” Russia’s MFA tweeted a satirical response.

 

This was just the latest in a string of official Russian government tweets aimed at sparking controversy among Moscow’s adversaries.

Also Read: 9 epic ways you can troll your radio guy

In a report published Nov. 13, the watchdog group Freedom House noted that in few places is “the hypocritical link between state propaganda and legal restrictions on the media stronger than in Russia.” This gives Russia monopoly over the flow of information within its borders. Increasingly, the report says, Russia has used similar information manipulation tactics abroad.

Here are 9 other times Russia has used its official Twitter accounts to troll Western leaders and the media:

The Russian Embassy in the UK reacted to former President Barack Obama expelling diplomats and closing Russian compounds in December 2016 in retaliation for meddling in the US election.

Stories of Russian hacking and election interference became more widespread in the US, and the Russian Embassy was at it again.

Theresa May said Belgium was meddling in its general election — and Russia was happy they weren’t being accused this time.

The CIA tweeted it was looking for Americans who can speak Russian and who are interested in national security issues. Of course, Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs had a response.

Hillary Clinton visited the UK to promote her new book about the 2016 election in October 2017, and the embassy drew a parallel between what she was condemning.

Newspapers reported that pundits are trying to prevent the Trump administration from smoothing US-Russia relations, and the Russian Embassy responded with a Pepe the Frog meme the alt-right uses.

Amid fears of spying, England said its football team would travel in Russia with a surveillance team. The Russian Embassy shot back with a zinger about England’s football team.

Critics alleged that President Donald Trump is a Russian pawn, and the Russian Embassy shared a meme from “The Great Gatsby.”

The British member of parliament leading the UK investigation into Russian election meddling talked about fake news, and the Russian Embassy egged him on with some #ThursdayThoughts.

Humor

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 6th

April Fools’ Day has come and gone, but for some reason Duffel Blog’s article about needing a 200,000 man detail on the southern border is looking more true now than ever.

But I’m not going to lie, the U.S. Marine Corps social media team got me — because they were the last people I’d expect to be genuinely funny.


Don’t worry. Bobby Boucher’s GT score was definitely high enough to get any other MOS. He just “chose” infantry.

(via Disgruntled Vets)

“But Sarge, they said they approved E-1 and above! It was meant to be!”

(via Decelerate Your Life)

Your troops stationed in Greenland will need enhanced visibility in those dark, Polar Nights.

(via PT Belt Nation)

Promote ahead of peers.

(via Air Force Nation)

Who are we kidding? There wouldn’t have been any productive military training anyways.

(via Army as F*ck)

If I could explain my military career in a single meme, this would be it.

(via The Salty Soldier)

Learning to sleep anywhere is definitely going to take you far.

(via Untied Status Marin Crops)

May the odds be ever in your favor.

(via Sh*t My LPO Says)

They still have a higher chance of appearing on an Avengers: Infinity War poster than Hawkeye.

(via Ranger Up)

Boot mistake. Everyone knows you hide silently in your barracks until close-out formation.

(via Why I’m Not Reenlisting)

Just throwing my two cents in: If you’re a POG who uses someone else’s gruntness to make you seem more badass, then you have no room to complain about an officer getting an award for someone else’s work.

(via Pop Smoke)

Even the characters match perfectly.

(via /r/IASIP)

“Back in my day, we only had iron sights and we didn’t need your fancy 700-900 RPM cyclic rate of fire.

(via Untied Status Marin Crops)

Humor

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp

Celebrities are celebrities for a variety of reasons but mainly because they draw massive interest from the general population in one way or another. We watch them in the movies and enjoy their TV shows because they do some pretty incredible and entertaining things, and we wonder what it’d be like in their world.


But we also wonder if they could hack it in ours.

There are a few stars who also served, but we took it a step further and imagined what it would be like if different celebs joined the military, including what branch they belong in based on their personality (or our amusement).

Related: 15 awful hand salutes that don’t even come close

Check out the celebrities we’d love to see go through boot camp:

15. Andy Samberg (Coast Guard)

Well, he’s already on a boat.

Take a good hard look at the M***** F****** boat. (Images via Giphy)

14. Gordon Ramsey (Marines)

He’d be perfect as a future drill instructor.

He was born for it. (Images via Giphy)

13. Zac Efron (Navy)

There’s something about him sailing away that just works for us.

Have fun in boot camp Seaman Recruit Efron. (Images via Giphy)

12. Miley Cyrus (Army)

She knows how to party it up in the USA.

You swing those hips girl. (Images via Giphy)

11. 50 Cent (Air Force)

Let’s face it, they rarely get shot at and he could use a break.

Off to the recruiter’s office he goes. (Images via Giphy)

10. Katy Perry (Marines)

Because she already has the uniform and the haircut.

Sing that sh*t girl. (Images via Giphy)

9. John Cena (Marines)

He played one in the movie — he could probably pull it off in real life, right?

See, he’s using his MCMAP skills. (Images via Giphy)

8. Dwayne Johnson (Marines)

He just looks like he’d be a good sergeant major one day.

Introducing Sgt. Maj. Rock.(Images via Giphy)

7. Harry Styles (Army)

Because his time in the British Army didn’t work out too well #Dunkirk.

#RIPOneDirection (Images via Giphy)

6. Jessica Simpson (Army)

She needs redemption for her movie Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous.

Although, she looks great in that uniform. (Image via Giphy)

5. Zach Galifianakis (Navy)

He’d be a funny Top Gun candidate.

Fly Zach! (Image via Giphy)

4. Kevin Hart (Army)

Who wouldn’t want this guy telling jokes after a drill instructor just went ballistic on a recruit’s unlocked foot locker?

So true. (Image via Giphy)

3. Taylor Swift (Army)

We figured she’d get immediately married then divorced right after.

She knows. That’s why she’s laughing. (Image via Giphy)

2. Kim Kardashian (Air Force)

No one would fail a uniform inspection with her in the squadron. (Might fail everything else, though…)

You gotta hand it to her — the girl knows fashion. (Image via Giphy)

1. Justin Bieber (Coast Guard)

He can swim in ankle deep water.

Or doggy paddle if you have to. (Image via Giphy)Which celebs could you see in the military? Comment below.

Articles

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of July 25

Guys, there are so, so many memes on the internet. Here are 13 of our favorite military ones:


1. So vicious. Much danger.

(via Air Force Nation)

And seriously, who puts their 1-quart on their back?

2. “Guys. Guys, this is going to be so funny.”

(via Do You Even Jump?)

SEE ALSO: Vietnam War Huey pilot Charles Kettles awarded Medal of Honor for saving 40 soldiers

3. Every soldier is a part of the total fight. No job is more important than any other (via The Salty Soldier).

Take pride in your service, private. You’re doing the Lord’s work.

4. The one on the left who’s just pointing at the drowning stuffed animals is the future officer (via Sh-t my LPO says).

Why weren’t the bunny and kitty cat wearing life vests?

5. Just 27 more months. Just 27 more months. Just —

(via Team Non-Rec)

6. “No, sergeant. I’m completely caught up. Are you going to send me home?”

(via Grunt Style)

7. “You give your dog bones? We make the bird find its own.” (via Military Memes)

8. “There, there, sir. How about a nice box of apple juice?”

(via The Salty Soldier)

9. “Hooked on phonics worked for me.”

(via Sh-t my LPO says)

Once he can read, he can go anywhere in his imagination.

10. You tell him, Seaman Dobby (via Sh-t my LPO says).

That’s what chief gets for throwing you that nasty sock.

11. Am I misreading this or is the helicopter being sent to rescue a stranded Coast Guardsman?

(via Coast Guard Memes)

Having to rescue doesn’t seem like a real point of pride, but whatevs, guardians. You do you.

12. We remember, too, Pepperidge Farm! It was back when it was called the “Army Air Corps.”

(via Air Force Memes Humor)

Fine, the Air Force was pretty impressive in Vietnam and Korea.

13. Every Marine is a (insert whatever the Corps needs at this moment).

(via Devil Dog Nation)

Jacks of all trades, masters only of amphibious warfare.

Articles

5 awful military haircuts that would fail inspection

Service members are held to a pretty high standard when it comes to grooming practices. The military requires that work uniforms look as neat as possible, men’s faces need to be clean shaven, and haircuts fall with in regulation.


Staying within these standards can be difficult, especially if you’re deployed. But for many, it’s just a matter of heading to the local base and getting a $12 haircut at the PX or NEX. The cut may not turn out celebrity style perfect, but you will be within regs.

Grooming standards vary amongst the branches, but at least one aspect remains the same — the hairline needs to be tapered. A fellow troop’s haircut is one of the first things veterans and service members notice.

Check out our list of military haircuts that would fail inspection:

1. War Daddy

In David Ayer 2014’s war movie “Fury,” Brad Pitt plays a hard-charging tank commander with a pretty awesome hair cut. But we can’t imagine how the Army managed to get a talented hair stylist out on the German front lines to keep his hair perfectly gelled.

We guess everyone in the 1940s cut their hair like Macklemore. (Source: Sony/Screenshot)

2. American Sniper

The story of legendary Navy SEAL sniper Chris Kyle hit the big screen in 2014 directed by the iconic Clint Eastwood. With all the excellent production value the film had one aspect was over looked — this Marine’s sideburns.

We could mention he also needs to shave, but that’s not what this article is about — maybe next time.

We bet he just asked the barber to take a little bit off the top before attending his big brother’s wedding. (Source: WB/Screenshot)

3. Broken Arrow

Christian Slater plays Riley Hale, a military stealth pilot who needs to track down a war head, defeat the villains, and locate a pair of Osters.

We know it makes you sad to trim around the ears, but you know what else is sad? Terrorism. Now go shave.

This haircut is so freakin’ bad; he’s pointing out exactly what’s wrong with it. (Source: Fox/ Screenshot/YouTube)

4. Full Metal Jacket

Although this Stanley Kubrick film is epic on multiple levels, it’s a hard fact to swallow that these Marines stationed on a large military base in Vietnam can’t find a pair of hair clippers. We’re just saying.

Joker (in the middle) looks depressed as he waits on the base barber to show the f*ck up. (Source: WB/Screenshot)


5. Jarhead 3: The Siege

The Jarhead franchise just won’t stop making bad movies. Not only does the corporal standing on the left need a quick touch up, but he may want to consider switching out his 8-point cover before the sergeant major rips him a brand new a**hole.

Maybe they bought the cover at an airsoft store? (Source: Universal/ Screenshot)

Bonus: Basic

John Travolta plays DEA investigator Tom Hardy (not that Tom Hardy) in 2003’s “Basic.” Although the character isn’t on active duty, his backstory in the film states he’s a former soldier. So before he goes out on a mission to locate a rogue soldier, we think he should clean it up around his ears.

That look you give to your hair stylist after to see your reflection in the mirror for the first time. (Source: Fox/YouTube/Screenshot)

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Articles

4 movie deaths that taught us to be better in combat

War movies constantly take abuse from critics and veterans from all over about how bad the story was or how inaccurate the tactics — that’s the movie business.


War movies are also constantly coming up with new ways to kill off its characters.

So instead of deconstructing and over-examining a film for its problems, let’s check out how these movie deaths can help educate new troops on how to be better in combat.

Related: 6 movie medics you’d want in your infantry squad

1. Don’t: pick up souvenirs

Being on patrol in a war-torn city means there’s going to be plenty of random objects laying on the ground. A cute and cuddly rabbit may appear innocent, but in a combat zone, anything can be rigged to blow.

Although this is an enemy booby trap, it was well placed and constructed.

What are you picking up a stuffed bunny for anyway? It’s creepy. (Source: Warner Bros. /Giphy images)

2. Do: stay low

Staying as low as humanly possible is important as seen in “Enemy at the Gates.”

It’s called a low crawl for a reason.

3. Do: have situational awareness

In the infantry, it’s very important to have a solid 360 degree of security in place so the enemy can’t sneak inside and stab you in the stomach like in 2008’s Ben Stiller-directed “Tropic Thunder.” The movie may have been incredibly goofy, but they make a good case how vital it is to know who is in your area.

I can’t stop watching this one.

Also Read: The 6 best Hollywood sniper shots ever

4. Don’t: operate without cover

In any infantry manual, the importance of taking up a spot that defends you from incoming enemy fire is vital. We’re guessing Cowboy, played by Arliss Howard, skipped that chapter of the book while attending the school of infantry.

“Why didn’t you guys tell meeeeeee?” (Source: Warner Bros. /Giphy images)Can you think of any others? Comment below.
Articles

These are the 7 most disappointing military commanders in Westeros

Daenerys Targaryen FINALLY landed on Westeros in HBO’s “Game of Thrones.” She’s even started using the dragons and Dothraki on Westerosi armies! Even though she hasn’t (yet) moved on King’s Landing, there’s a lot of reason to believe it’s just a matter of time before the “game” is over.


The face you make when you have the only Air Force.

This gives us a chance to stop and reflect on all the battles and strategies in the game that led us here. Even better, it gives us a chance to laugh at the worst leaders in the place and question why the hell they thought they could hang in the first place. At least Tommen knew he just wasn’t cut out for it.

Tommen performs an actual king’s landing.

7. Theon Greyjoy

Theon’s big victory wasn’t even really a fight. He told the Stark Army there was an attack somewhere else, and when they left he forced Bran to concede Winterfell to him. Then, right before the Iron Born immediately turned on him, he killed some farmer’s family and torched their two kids. Cool.

You know who the real loser was in the sack of Winterfell?

Yes, an argument could be made for Ser Rodrick.

Rickon Stark. Rickon is the real loser in all this. By the time the Starks retake Winterfell, Bran can see through time, Arya has face-melting assassin skills, Jon Snow is hanging with the Mother of Dragons, and Sansa runs the place. What did Rickon get?

Oh riiiiiiiiiight…

Theon sucks. He knew it, his men knew it, the Boltons knew it. And he’s at number seven on this list because we knew it too.

6. Ramsay Bolton

Sure, he seized the North (after it was decimated by the Iron Born, but whatever). We’ll give that to him. But the thing about the way a ruler like Ramsay Bolton operates is that there has to be an element of fear to fighting for him. That also means that there has to be a good chance you’ll survive. If you know you’re going to die no matter what, it makes it difficult to fight for survival.

Also, when his gimmick is a bunch a flayed dudes, you have to wonder who’s getting flayed next.

In the Battle of the Bastards, Ramsay so casually mows down his own troops with arrows to the point that they’re indistinguishable from the enemy in the pile of bodies. See if you can spot the point when a bunch more guys from the Bolton Army would have really come in useful during the Battle of the Bastards:

Look closely.

Where was the shirtless Ramsay Bolton who fought the Iron Born at the Dread Fort?

5. Joffrey Baratheon

If only Stannis Baratheon had attacked King’s Landing with a bunch of prostitutes, then Joffrey would know how to kill the enemy. Donning the King’s Armor in the one time he had a chance to be a real leader, he bravely left the battlefield to go see what his mom wanted.

And don’t forget, Arya was embarrassing Joffrey before it was cool…and before she even had face-wrecking assassin powers.

4. Balon Greyjoy

Remember Balon? No? Funny how the worst among us are completely forgotten as soon as someone with skills and ability comes along.

(Stares in Iron Born)

The thing about Balon that’s different from most of the people on this list is that the other people had a reputation for valor, daring, and strategic thinking before the events depicted on the show. Not Balon. Before the events of the show, Balon led a rebellion from the Iron Islands and was quickly owned by Ned Stark. His biggest win was having Theon taken hostage.

We all know how that turned out.

Everyone spends the first season making fun of Balon in front of Theon. Only Yara gave a damn when Euron threw the old man over a bridge. In fact, the whole Game of Thrones series got exponentially better as soon as someone killed Balon.

The world actually cheered as Balon was helped off the show. Probably.

3. The Night King

The Night King has existed since the age of the Children of the Forest. He has practically unlimited manpower that only grows the more he fights. And it’s next to impossible to stop his army in close quarters combat…unless you can figure out the three things that can actually hurt them.  And the Night King is giving the living SO MUCH TIME TO FIGURE IT OUT.

¯/_(‘   ‘)_/¯

Seriously, what is he doing beyond the wall? Every time we see him, he and his army of White Walkers look like they’re just walking around endlessly. Don’t they know they’re supposed to attack in the winter? I know it’s supposed to be the longest winter ever but that doesn’t mean he has to wait until the last minute to attack.

One step at a time? Oh jeez this is going to take FOREVER.

If he just started attacking now, he could swarm The Wall before Jon Snow can mine the Dragon Glass. Or before Dany can beat Cersei and focus the dragons on the North. But no, he’s going to walk around the land beyond The Wall because it’s apparently much more fun than winning.  People who are older than history love to take walks.

2. Jaime Lannister

For all the stories you hear about Ser Jaime’s fighting ability, all he ever seems to do is get captured or almost die. When he does win, it’s not because he’s actually fighting. He makes the disappointment list because you feel like he should be better at fighting. And yet we have come to love him anyway.

But you could choose someone who isn’t your sister.

Jaime didn’t kill Tyrion even though he believed Tyrion killed his son. Jaime failed to kill a small child by throwing him out a window. Even in combat, we’ve seen more success from Samwell Tarly. Tyrion managed to get a few kills in at the Blackwater — the most Jaime ever did was kill his cousin and lose a hand for his trouble.

Yeah, nice.

It’s mind-boggling why Tyrion is the most disappointing Lannister (to the Lannisters, I mean). Jaime is the biggest liability in Westeros and all Tyrion has to do is tell an Army, “Let’s go kill those dudes attacking our city,” and he wins the day.

“But what about Riverrun?” you might ask. Early on, we hear about Jaime taking Riverrun from the Riverlords but by season six, he has to go retake it from the Blackfish. Taking a castle doesn’t do you any good if you can’t keep it. Ask Theon Greyjoy about that.

You’ll have to catch him first.

For the ultimate in Jaime Lannister’s bad decision-making skills, see the last five minutes of the seventh season episode “The Spoils of War” and remember Jaime’s quote: “We can hold them off.” Hey bud, everyone knows she’s got fire-breathing dragons and a barbaric horde of Dothraki horse archers.

Not only did Jaime do nothing for his troops, he didn’t even get the anti-dragon gun ready to fight. That thing stayed in the wagon waaaaaaaaaay too long.

1. Stannis Baratheon

For what all the bookreaders have to say about Stannis Baratheon, we sure expected some magic from this guy. The only magical thing about Stannis came out of Melisandre.

Run, Jon Snow. This will not end well.

At the Battle of the Blackwater, Stannis drove his Navy into the bay, which would seem like the best idea. But a little bit of intel work and he would have known the Lannisters poured a ton of electric green stuff into the bay in anticipation of the battle, which everyone knew was coming. Then, Stannis did exactly what everyone expected him to do – a frontal assault. No wonder the Lannisters knew exactly how to wipe the floor with his gate crashers.

If Baratheon leadership could be summed up in one clip, this would be it.

Also, underestimating the wealthiest family on the continent was a terrible call. They control Casterly Rock and King’s Landing. Why did Stannis never consider the possibility of a relief force from Casterly Rock? Tywin Lannister was known for his ability as a soldier and general and the Lannisters were allied with the Tyrells. Stannis, whose moves surprise no one, never considers outside forces. Like…did he forget he was in The War of Five Kings?

Stannis has never been good at showing emotion. Or leadership ability. Or fatherhood. Or anything, really.

To top that, the real heir to Robert Baratheon led a depleted army against Winterfell. A real commander would work to prepare the army, maybe get some more allies at the last minute, work on a secret plan or weapon to even the odds of assaulting a fortified position. Not Stannis. His ace in the hole was to roast his daughter alive.

Articles

This Green Beret will make you a mental commando

When things get squirrely, military vets have several advantages over career civilians. Vets, of course, have the benefit of combat and tactical training, but they’ve also learned to develop a formidable mental game.


Former Green Beret Mike Glover used this notion as inspiration and a jumping off point when he founded Fieldcraft Survival, his school for disaster preparedness.

With 18 years of deep operational experience, certifications out the wazoo (just check his founder’s bio), and a doomsday sense of humor that would make Mad Max proud, Glover is uniquely qualified to teach civilians to keep their heads and preserve their lives as the worst case scenario unfolds.

“At Fieldcraft, our whole basic motto is we’re teaching mindset over hard skills.”

Things, of course, got extra squirrely when Oscar Mike host Ryan Curtis dropped in for a visit.

Glover hustled Curtis right into training, first in the classroom to reinforce the importance of developing a strong mental game and then in the field, where the two ran through the O.P.S. Course, which stands for Observe, Prepare, Survive.

And just as the word “challenge” was leaving Curtis’ mouth a distant cry of distress told our heroes it was time to oil up for action.

What happened next pretty much sums up the whole series.

These are the faces of true bravery. (Go90 Oscar Mike screenshot)

Watch as Glover teaches this wannabe Martin Riggs the real meaning of the word “squirrely”, in the video embedded at the top.

Watch more Oscar Mike:

This is why you don’t challenge an ex-sniper to a duel

The Marine Rapper will make you shake your Citizen Rump

This is why the future of motocross is female

This is what happens when a Navy SEAL becomes an actor

This is what happens when a SEAL helps you with your lady problems

Humor

8 things Marines love to carry other than their weapon

Marines carry a lot of gear while on a combat deployment: body armor, weapons, and communication equipment — just to name a few.


With all that weight tallying up quickly and a lack of storage space to contain it all, Marines have to be picky about what they’re willing to haul around on those long missions.

At times, they’ll even negotiate with one another who carries what, but check out this list of what Marines have no problem taking with them regardless of how much it weights.

1. Energy drinks

Although water is the healthier choice — there’s nothing like a delicious energy drink to make that 12-hour mission seem more enjoyable and speed up time.

Perfect on a dry day (Source: Flickr)

2. Extra ammo

“I have too many bullets to shoot, Sergeant,” said no Marine ever.

Ammo is heavy, but the look on a grunt’s face when he’s unloading a full magazine at the ISIS: priceless.

Pure joy. (Image via Dark Horse Entertainment)

3. Smokes/Dip

Even if you didn’t indulge in tobacco products stateside, you’re probably going to light up a cigarette or pack your lip full of dip while on an extended patrol.

Note: Smoking and dipping tobacco are known for having health risks.

4. Things that make other things go boom

The weight of a few Claymores, grenades, and mortars can add up if you’re carrying a few extras in your mole pouches, but one thing Marines love and are proud of is their outstanding ability to blow sh*t up.

To that, we tip our hats.

Chewbacca understands. (Image via Walt Disney Studios)

5. Crystal lite packets

Because drinking water can get boring — really boring. Although it’s a healthier option than number #1.

6. Pogey bait

Many have never heard of this term.

Pogey bait is an assortment of cakes, candies, and nonmilitary foods.

And Marines love it.

7. Digital camera

Because recording those special little moments of bombing the hell out of ISIS are unique ones.

This one is for the grandkids. (Source: BBC Panorama)

8. Baby wipes

You never know when you have to take a G.I. shower…or a field dump.

Marine approved. (Source: Huggies)

Bonus: G.P.S.

Just in case your 2nd Lieutenant can’t get you to the second checkpoint.

(Source: Garmin)

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of June 15th

Looks like troops will stop doing drills in South Korea and actually be pulled out of there. Great. Now every unit is going to get some Joe who was just stationed there that’ll constantly complain about how “South Korea was so much better” than their new unit — despite constantly talking sh*t while there.

It’s always the same lower-enlisted troop. You know the type. They’ll show up just barely in time for First Sergeant to call “fall in,” they’ll be hungover and smell like cigarettes at every formation, and it’s almost a guarantee that they’ll defend their sh*tty actions with a limp, “well, in my last unit…”

Have fun with that, NCOs. No one will blame you for tree-line counseling those fools.


(Meme via Amuse)

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

Mindless detail where you can joke with your buddies or being stuck in a training meeting, listening to how the good idea fairy will reshape the unit?

Tough call.

NCOs’ eyes are like the dinosaurs’. They can’t see you unless you move.

I learned it from Jurassic Park, so it has to be true.

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

(Meme via ASMDDS)

(Meme via Gunner Boy)

(Meme via Military Memes)

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

There’s a massive difference between being a “five-jump chump” and having your mustard stain.

Which basically cuts out every staff officer who wanted to impress the commander.

(Meme via the Salty Soldier)

(Meme via Pop Smoke)

(Meme via Pop Smoke)

Humor

9 stupid mistakes boots immediately regret

In life, making mistakes is inevitable — happens to everyone. While some screw-ups in the civilian sector aren’t considered a big deal, making them in the military can include a heavy punishment.


For many new service members, shedding that civilian mentality of “I can do whatever I want,” is a challenge — especially when you have to wait for permission to do something like go home for the day.

Too late now. (Images via Giphy)

Related: 7 military regs service members violate every day

So check out our list of stupid mistakes boots immediately regret during that special adjustment-to-active-duty period:

1. Talking back to a superior

Sometimes you feel the need to tell off someone higher ranking than you just to show your bros how tough you are. In many cases, the punishment given for that action can be worse than the crime committed.

Someone’s getting extra duty (Images via Giphy)

2. Marrying just for the benefits

Sure, the extra pay to buy beer for your friends sounds good now, but there are so many things that can go wrong right after saying the words, “I do.”

Who here married a stripper to move out of the barracks? Sorry, exotic dancer…

3. Sleeping with a grenade for your friend

We do a lot for our military brothers and sisters; this can include sleeping with someone’s friend as a personal favor.

Imagine waking up next to that.

This one is rarely a repeat mistake…

4. Over-sleeping and missing formation

It happens quite frequently, especially after a long night of drinking. I hope that sleep was worth it, because you’re gonna get reamed.

Being super cute won’t get you out of trouble every time. (Images via Giphy)

5. Getting caught with someone hiding in your trunk

After a set time, most military bases won’t allow people to enter the front gate without proper ID. So there’s only one way to sneak that special someone through security — stow them in the trunk.

Hopefully, your date will fit. (Images via Giphy)

6. Negligent discharge

Everybody wants to look cool while carrying a weapon around. But don’t be the one who accidentally fires the damn thing.

Keep your finger off the trigger until you’re prepared to fire. (Images via Giphy)

7. When you break something expensive because you don’t know how to work it

It happens, but now you either have to man up and face the situation or cover the mistake up somehow.

Yes, you did. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: 7 important life skills you learned in the military and didn’t even realize it

8. When you try and complete a stunt but…

…it turns out to be an epic fail.

Now you’ve damaged government property. Go get your Motrin and then get ready to fill out paperwork.

His take off was good, but he failed to stick the landing. (Images via Giphy)

9. Getting a DUI

Showing your boys you can drive drunk is a dumb way to show off.

At least he didn’t spill his beer. (Images via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.
Humor

7 different types of MPs you’ll face at the gate

These brave, young men and women are the first people you’ll see as you enter the front gates, and they’re the last people you’ll spot as you exit.


The military police protect you from the various threats trying to make it on base, and carefully watch the criminals that are locked up — and the sh*t isn’t easy.

But who are these men and women who undertake this serious job? Well, we’re about to show you.

Related: 6 types of enlisted ‘docs’ you’ll meet at sick call

7. The over-the-top nice guy who is just excited to be in the military.

He’s also the guy you thought you could out-run if you needed to, but he was a track star in high school. You’ll find out the hard way.

Yes. They will issue him a service pistol very soon. (Image from U.S. Army)

6. That Marine MP who is just looking for a reason to subdue you.

“Lie to me one more time.”

Marine Sgt. Shawn Brown shows the proper armlock technique during a guard training class to the Royal Tongan Marines.

5. The cute one who makes every troop want to wait in her lane at the gate, even if it’s backed up, just to say, “hey.”

Who cares if we’re late for morning muster?

(Image from U.S. Army)

4. The chill teddy bear that knows everybody who enters the gate.

This military policeman still halts every car… just to say, “hello.”

“Looking good, Mr. Peterson.”  (Image from Wikipedia Commons)

3. The MP officer with a criminal law degree that can see right through your bullsh*t.

Don’t look directly at him, we think he knows about the stripper in the trunk…

He can read all your secrets just from your pupil dilation. (Image from Security Forces Squadron)

2. The soldier who is just itching to deploy, but first he needs to check your identification.

It’s not that just because they are motivated, it’s just they want to make an impact, somehow.

(U.S. Army photo by Sean Kimmons)

Also Read: 5 of the sneakiest ways people try to fool the front gate MPs

1. Rambo’s little sister.

She’s out to earn her respect and she can kick your ass if she wanted to.

U.S. Army Spc. Adrianna Williamson, 221st Military Police Detachment military police patrolman is ready to go. (U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Wesley Farnsworth)

Humor

5 more epic military movie mistakes

For some, military movies are a blast to watch as many are based on real and fascinating stories of man’s ability to overcome any obstacle and fulfill his or her goals and destiny and all that crap.


With so many emotional aspects to pay attention to, filmmakers miss minor detail-orientated mistakes that veteran moviegoers spot a mile away.

Related: 5 epic military movie mistakes

So check out some mistakes we managed to spot in our favorite Hollywood war films:

1. A bad angle

“Hacksaw Ridge” showcased the heroic efforts of Desmond Doss, a combat medic who served in WWII and saved 75 men during a battle in the Pacific.

When he meets the love of his life, a hot nurse, she’ll take some of Desmond’s blood but fails to use the proper angle when inserting the needle.

Go along the skin line, lady! (Source: Lionsgate/Screenshot)

At this angle, she would have poked right through the vein at the AC space (antecubital) and into his muscle — what little Andrew Garfield has.

2. A below-the-knee tourniquet

Quentin Tarantino may be a genius at writing great character dialogue, but his medical knowledge of how to treat a gunshot wound needs a little work.

The female on the table has a tourniquet in place below her knee to help stop any arterial bleeding. A typical piece of cloth wouldn’t help a GSW too much.

That tourniquet isn’t doing anything but getting a chance to touch Diane Kruger’s leg. We like that. (Source: Weinstein/Screenshot)

Fun Fact: Your tibia and fibula are located in below the knee and the artery runs in between the two bones to provide it protection. A tourniquet placed below the knee would have no effect in stopping a massive bleed.

3. Robbed the armory?

Veterans give military movies a lot of crap, especially the 2nd and 3rd acts of “Full Metal Jacket.” But this time we’re calling out how could Gomer Pyle managed to snag a rifle and ammo while in boot camp from the armory (where they would have been stored).

Where the hell did you get that Pvt. Pyle? (Source: WB/Screenshot)

Let’s face it, Pyle’s character wasn’t a genius and doubtfully would be able to pull off a single rifle heist.

4. Shoot the rear tank?

In “Fury” we got an opportunity to experience the dangers of being a tanker during WWII. In the film, David Ayer chose to make the Germans shoot and destroy the last American tank in a ranger file — even though he knew that would not be an accurate military tactic.

That would have been great if the real Germans used such ineffective tactics during the war — it would have been over way sooner. (Source: Sony/Screenshot)

In real life, they should have hit the tank in front, forcing the rest to halt and stopping the line. But if they had destroyed the front tank (War Daddy’s), the credits would roll because the movie would now be over.

Also Read: 5 more military myths that Hollywood taught us to believe

5. Clear hearing in a flying helicopter

Okay, Tropic Thunder isn’t technically a war movie, but it did win Tugg Speedman the fictional Oscar for best actor for “Tropic Blunder,” the true story behind the making of the most expensive fake true war story ever.

But in this helicopter insertion scene, there’s no way the men could hear the director’s instructions in a loud helicopter cargo bay (with the doors open) without proper headsets.

Regardless of the mistake, this movie is funny as hell. (Source: Paramount/Youtube/ Screenshot)

If any movie producers and directors out there need help on military consulting, feel free to contact us.

Can you think of any others? Comment below.