Humor

5 reasons why you should've enlisted as a 'Doc' instead

"Pecker checker," "silver bullet bandit," and "devil doc" are just a few of the nicknames used to describe your platoon medic or corpsman.


Most people can't stomach the thought of sticking a thermometer up someone's ass to get a core temperature, but that's one of the many responsibilities of being a "Doc."

Although that part of the job doesn't so great, being a doc has tons of advantages, provided you have your sh*t together.

Related: 6 things you didn't know about sick call

So, check out these five reasons why you should've enlisted as a doc.

5. Spread loading out your gear

When you're serving in a grunt unit, you're going to have to carry a mobile ER on your back, including all the staples, like I.V. solution, tons of pressure dressings, and splints.

Since the squad wants their doc to be as mobile as possible, we commonly get our brothers to carry some of the additional heavy, situational stuff. That way, we can haul the more critical sh*t, like cans of Rip It and extra packs of smokes.

Thanks for carrying all that, bro. Let me know if you want a sip of this delicious energy drink.

4. The power of negotiation

Good medics are often given a lot of power, and they need to remember to use those perks carefully. We usually obtain the power to give our troops "sick-in-quarters" slips and "light duty" forms without question from our higher command.

This power gives us the leverage to get other troops to do sh*t for us, like taking my next duty or carrying our packs on a platoon hike. It's a great, low-overhead trade-off.

3. No one (outside of your squad) can f*ck with you

Your squad members will punch out anyone because they don't want anything to happen to their doc. However, if you want your boys coming to your aid, you need to be good at your job or else you're f*cked and walking back to base with a bruised eye.

It just wasn't his day. (Image via GIPHY)

2. You get the best of both worlds

This section is for the Navy Corpsman stationed on the "Greenside." After you earn the respect of your peers, you can find ways to distance yourself from activities you don't want to do (hiking), and then volunteer yourself for things you find interesting (kicking door the bad guys' door in Afghanistan).

Most of the time, we can get out of crappy activities by saying, "Sergeant, I need to run over to the battalion aid station for a few." It can be that simple.

Also Read: 6 things corpsmen should know before going to the 'Greenside'

1. The safety vehicle

Remember earlier when I said you could find ways to distance yourself from hikes? The best way to do it is to pull safety vehicle duty and comfortably drive around while watching the others crawl up the mountainside in a full combat load.

The downside? If you need to crawl up a mountainside in Afghanistan and you've skipped all the hikes, you're probably not conditioned enough.

You don't want to fall out of any hike while on a combat deployment.

Bonus: You get to save lives!

There's nothing better than that.

This combat medic starts an I.V. on a soldier during training. (Image from Wikipedia Commons)

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