6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy - We Are The Mighty
Humor

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy

Christmas time is here and that means spending a lot of time on Amazon.com looking for the best gift ideas for your friends, family, and other loved ones. This year, the armed forces could use a few gifts that you can’t buy online. These are a few things the U.S. Navy would like to find under the tree this holiday season:


6. Two repaired destroyers

2017 saw the Arleigh Burke-class guided-missile destroyers USS Fitzgerald (DDG 62) and USS John S. McCain (DDG 56) damaged badly in collisions. While nothing can undo the tragic loss of the 17 sailors killed in the collisions, undoing the hundreds of millions of dollars’ worth of hull damage would make a nice gift.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
The Arleigh Burke-class guided-missile destroyer USS Fitzgerald (DDG 62) returns to Fleet Activities Yokosuka following a collision with a merchant vessel while operating southwest of Yokosuka, Japan. (Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Peter Burghart)

5. More hulls in the water

As of today, the Navy has 279 deployable ships. This is the lowest total since 1916. While these ships are very capable, they are not capable of being in two places at once.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
USS Shiloh operating in the Philippine Sea (US Navy)

4. Beefed-up carrier air wings

Thirty years ago, the cutting-edge air wing was composed of 24 F-14 Tomcats, 24 F/A-18 Hornets, and 15 A-6 Intruders. Today, it’s 48 F/A-18C Hornets and F/A-18E/F Super Hornets. The Navy no longer has a carrier-borne, anti-submarine warfare aircraft – the S-3 Viking has been retired. A good replacement would be a second squadron of F-35C Lightnings per carrier.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
An F-35C Lightning II on USS George Washington during F-35C Development Test III. (Lockheed Martin photo)

3. More submarines

Russia is becoming a resurgent threat in the Arctic and the only warships that can be sent to counter it are nuclear-powered attack submarines. The United States currently commissions one or two Virginia-class submarines per year. Another sub or two per year would be a welcome Christmas present.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
The Virginia-class attack submarine USS Hawaii (SSN 776) enters Apra Harbor for a scheduled port visit. The Virginia-class submarines use pump-jet propulsion systems. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Corwin Colbert)

2. Real guided-missile frigates

The fact is, the Littoral Combat Ship is a nice pickup – for the Coast Guard. The Navy would have done a lot better to replace the Oliver Hazard Perry-class guided-missile frigates with something like Spain’s Alvaro de Bazan-class Aegis frigates.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
The Spanish Navy frigate Alvaro De Bazan (F 101) conducts a close quarters exercise near a U.S. Navy guided missile destroyer while underway in the Atlantic Ocean. (U.S. Navy photo by Photographer’s Mate Airman Eben Boothby)

1. No more buzzing

Russia, China, and Iran have all been buzzing Navy ships and aircraft this year. Some brand-new rules of engagement to discourage such dangerous stunts would look good under the tree.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
In early 2017, a Russian plane buzzed a U.S. destroyer. (Photo from U.S. Dept. of Defense)

Articles

This is what happens when you put a sailor in a stock car

U.S. Navy Surface Warfare officer, Jesse Iwuji, is a rising star in the NASCAR K&N Pro Series West. A veteran of two Arabian Gulf deployments, Jesse spends his time on land meticulously building each element of his pro racing career.


And of course, the bedrock of pro racing is the ability to move a ton of steel around a track at bone-rattling velocity.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
“Jesse, let me know when it’s safe to unpucker.” (Go90 Oscar Mike screenshot)

As he related to Oscar Mike host Ryan Curtis when they met up at the Meridian Speedway in Boise, Idaho, success in life is all about finding the thing you’re passionate about and then making a firm decision to go and get it.

In Iwuji’s experience, hot pursuit starts with putting one foot in front of the other. He finished the 2016 season ranked Top 10 overall in points and entered the 2017 season newly partnered with three time NFL Pro Bowler Shawne Merriman as his car owner for Patriot Motorsports Group.

Curtis, of course, couldn’t wait for his chance to get behind the wheel.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
“How about now?” “Just drive the car, man.” (Go90 Oscar Mike screenshot)

Watch as Iwuji pushes the K&N Pro Series stock car to it’s outer limits while Curtis makes the lamest joke in military history in the video embedded at the top.

Watch more Oscar Mike:

This Iraq vet kayaker will make you rethink PTSD

This is why you don’t challenge an ex-sniper to a duel

This Army vet is crazy motivated

Watch this Vietnam War vet school a young soldier in stunt driving

Articles

This Air Force crew just spoofed that viral BBC interview

If you somehow are on the internet and haven’t seen the viral BBC interview of an expert on South Korea being interrupted during a BBC interview by his children, then you can see it here.


The dad is impressively collected as his wife rushes in to grab the children and pull them out, but the internet had a field day with the interview.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Photo: YouTube/Jon Millman)

Now, a U.S. Air Force crew has created a spoof video where a pilot is attempting to read her takeoff clearance back when the crew starts stumbling in. Another airman, probably the chief, has to rush in and grab the other crewmen out of the cabin.

The results are pretty great. You can check the video out below:

Humor

This famous bridge adds an Army LMTV to its list of kills

Right off North Carolina Highway 147 in Durham sits a relic of older railroad overpass regulations. The 78-year old bridge that runs along South Gregson Street has a clearance of only 11 feet 8 inches. It has become known across the internet as “The Can-Opener Bridge” because of the astounding number of overconfident truck drivers who think they can squeeze their vehicle under it. Recently, the bridge claimed its 130th victim: an Army LMTV.


Local truck drivers know to avoid the overpass, so nearly every vehicle that gets clipped is either a rental or from out-of-state. The costs of raising the railroad tracks would be astronomical and the city’s main sewer line runs underneath, meaning lowering the road is impossible.

Thankfully, to date, there have been no fatalities and only three minor injuries. The city of Durham is content to plaster the area with a ridiculous amount of warnings to drivers, including a traffic light and gigantic, flashing sign that triggers if a height sensor is tripped. But all of these cautions don’t deter idiots drivers who aren’t willing to take a short detour.

To be completely honest, I don’t think they even want to fix it because it’s too funny.

 

So, what’s a city to do that has a hilarious problem that only affects morons who obviously don’t know their vehicle and fail to acknowledge the many signals? Put up a 24/7 webcam and create an internet attraction, obviously!

The most recent addition to the bridge’s long list of victims is a U.S. Army LMTV from an undisclosed unit. Many sites have erroneously claimed that the truck was carrying some “top secret device that needed to be covered” when it hit the bridge. In actuality, it was just a regular ol’ weapon mount that’s kept covered as not to freak out civilians. The driver of the vehicle has also not been named, but the Private (or soon-to-be-Private) is definitely never going to live this one down.

 

 
Articles

This is what ‘Black Friday’ is like for new Marine recruits

Every year, millions of Americans rush out of their homes to the local retailers the day after Thanksgiving — aka Black Friday — for incredible, once-in-a-year deals.


Marine recruits also have a Black Friday — but it’s nowhere near as fun as getting a bunch of cool stuff.

Black Friday is the term Marines use when they finally come face-to-face with their hard-charging drill instructors who will train them up for the next 90 days.

Related: The Corps just added this new phase to help recruits practice being Marines

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
It’s Black Friday! Welcome to the bottom of the food chain, boot. (Source: USMC YouTube Screenshot)

Typically, once recruits meet their DIs, they will receive a barrage of easy-to-follow instructions under extreme stress, which causes them to have “brain farts” and screw up.

“I wanted to go home,” a former Marine joked, recalling that first meeting.

Once a recruit gets through the receiving phase of boot camp to Black Friday, it’s easier to make it all the way through the intense training and earn the title of Marine (versus getting sent back home on request).

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
The classic aftermath of Black Friday at Marine Corps Recruit Depot, Parris Island.

For many drill instructors, the experience is just as intense, but their training incentive is to produce the best possible Marines before sending them off to their units.

“Here goes another 90-days,” former Marine DI Mark Hamett recalls. “Let’s do this!”

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
Here we go.

Typically, after the physically demanding introduction, the drill instructors will use their outside voices inside to introduce themselves and inform the recruits, as a whole, what exactly will be expected from them.

Also Read: The 5 scariest things most recruits don’t know about the Army

Check out the Marines’ video below to watch the intense first meeting between recruits and their drill instructors. Then relish in the fact that you’re not in their shoes.

(Marines, YouTube)
Humor

6 more Share-a-Coke cans they could also use

Coca-Cola, the USO, and Dollar General have teamed up to run a special “Share a Coke” campaign this summer in support of the military community. It was designed with the best of intentions, but it’s caught a bit of backlash for not including a few branches.

You can find 16-oz cans of Coke labeled with ‘Sailor,’ ‘Airman,’ and “Coast Guardsman,” which accounts for three of the five branches, but you’ll notice that both ‘Solider’ and ‘Marine’ are missing. Instead, you’ll find cans marked ‘hero’ and ‘veteran’ respectively.

So, if they’re going to swap out two branch-specific terms in favor of something more widely applicable, that opens the door for plenty of other possibilities! Try these on for size:


6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy

For that no-drag specialist in your squad.

High Speed

With all due respect, they’ve kinda missed the mark by using “Hero” as the label for soldiers — this isn’t exactly a compliment in some contexts. In the Army, the term ‘Hero’ is a play on the phrase, “there’s a fine line between bravery and stupidity.” Basically, it’s another term for ‘idiot.’

Why not go all the way and label one “High Speed?”

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy

Boot

Every Marine was, at one point in their career, a dumb boot. It’s only after a young boot has made enough mistakes and has had the stupid smoked out of them enough times that they’re finally accepted by their fellow Marines. It’s a rite of passage.

Since boots are also the most likely to remind everyone in the outside world of their service, they should have their own can.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy

Caw caw, mother f*cker.

Blue Falcon

No one likes the blue falcon — it’s no coincidence that the first letter of each word in this term is shared with another, less polite label: Buddy F*cker.

Blue falcons work hard to keep up their game and getting your buddies in trouble is thirsty work. Why not celebrate them with a nice, cold middle finger?

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy

Perfectly mixes well with whiskey.

C.O.B

The C.O.B. (or the Crabby Ol’ Bastard) is the Chief of the Boat and is more often than not the oldest person on the ship.

You’ll never know how these salty sailors made it so long without being forced into retirement, but you have to respect their amazing ability to hold a ship together using only pure hatred.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy

They can get a Coke and a Bronze Star as an End of Tour award.

Powerpoint Ranger

Rangers are some of the hardest badasses in the Army. The Powerpoint Ranger, however, is on the very opposite side of the coolness spectrum.

All these guys do is sit on the FOB and craft the perfect Powerpoint presentation on the complexities of connex cleaning. These guys probably haven’t seen the range in years, but they do have a direct line to the Colonel.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy

The one and only universal truth that every service member can agree on is: “F*ck Jodie.”

Jodie

A Coke isn’t the only thing Jodie wants to share with you.

Humor

6 military scents that would make terrible scented candles

If there is one product on the face of the Earth that is the antithesis to the rigors and roughness of military life, it would have to the scented candle. But as “hardcore” as veterans once were, their loving better halves will always buy a sh*tload of them to decorate the house. This is a fight we cannot win.


Veterans aren’t candle-averse because they hate the idea of smelling lavender spring sunshine or whatever. It’s the fact that scented candles are designed to bring back good memories and the good memories troops have often tend to smell like ass, sweat, sh*t, or a mixture of the three.

These are the candles that vets would buy to remember the good ol’ days — and their spouses would quickly throw away.

6. Over-saturated PineSol

It’s the smell of every military building that was just cleaned by staff duty. All it takes is a cap-full of PineSol to clean the entire building and yet, every Private uses an entire bottle anyways.

The smell of pine might be pleasant to some people, but when the product is overused, it just smells like concentrated chemicals with a hint of singed nose hairs — and some pine, I guess.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
Talk to your recruiter and become a combat janitor today! (Photo by Maj. Brandon Mace)

5. PT field

Fresh-cut grass is nice. Fresh-cut grass drenched in the sweat of 60 hungover troops is not.

And when PT is moved over to a parking lot, the stench is even thicker. God forbid the NCOs move PT inside any kind of confined space…

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
It’s not just the sweat or the booze leaving the body… there might be some vomit in there, too. (Photo by Lance Cpl. Mackenzie Carter)

4. A cup of (military) coffee in the field

Around the globe, the scent of coffee is, supposedly, the best part of waking up.

Too bad there is never anyone in the military that can make a good cup of joe.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
Still, better than nothing… (Photo by Lt. Col. John Hall)

3. MRE heaters activating

As troops prepare a meal that has the taste and consistency of cat food, the only thing that can overpower the aroma of “pork sausage, maple flavored” is the oxidizing magnesium in the one-time-use, flameless heater.

The smell only gets more pungent when the FNG overfills their heater with too much water.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
Better than the smell of the Meow Mix — I mean a Meal, Ready to Eat.(Photo by Happy Cat)

2. Sands of Trashcanistan Afghanistan

One unexpected problem no one else tells you about before you deploy to a third-world country is their lack of sanitation.

Afghanistan is covered in what is affectionately known as “moon dust,” which is just sand and garbage that flows freely across the country.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy

1. Crowded tents after month ten

The first few weeks in-country aren’t too bad if you can get over the stench of the outside. It’s around month nine or ten when everyone’s f*ck-it is in short supply and the tents go to sh*t.

Dip bottles, sweat, dirty gear, and the occasional p*ss bottle make tents unbearable.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
Not a single f*ck is given in these tents. (U.S. Army photo by Spc. Aaron Rosencrans)

*Bonus* Puff of carbon on the range

This one is a bonus because it would actually be awesome.

I’ll take 8.

Articles

We made the best fictional infantry squad ever

Managing an infantry squad is similar to a sports coach shifting players around to positions that best fit their strengths and talents. Since Marines aren’t created equal, capitalizing on those strengths and building up weakness is why the U.S. military is such a juggernaut today.


On special occasions, a Marine infantry squad patrol is comprised of a platoon leader (if he decides to go), a squad leader, three fire team leaders, three SAW gunners, and six riflemen.

This all, of course, depends on how your squad is made up — we’re even going to throw in a Company Gunny for sh*ts and giggles.

Related: 6 newbie boots you wouldn’t want in your infantry squad

So check out our list of who’d make up our infantry squad if we got to pick favorites.

Our Platoon Leader: Splinter

He’s been there, done that, and he’s missing half of an ear from fighting a fellow ninja.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: Wikipedia Commons)

Our Company Gunny: Gunny Thomas Highway

He eats concertina wire and pisses napalm. What else do you look for in leadership?

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: WB/Screenshot)

Our Squad Leader: Sgt. Slaughter

He’s a career Sergeant and loves his country. That is all.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: Twitter @_SgtSlaughter)

Three Fire Team Leaders:

1. John McClane

He’s a smart *ss and a pretty good detective, but can’t ever seem to pick up E-5 because of bad luck. Everywhere he goes a terrorist attack breaks out, but he knows how to handle that sh*t.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: IMDb)

2. Indiana Jones

He never quits, plus he’s great at reading maps and studies the cultures of the countries he’s about to help invade.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

3. Neo

He is the “chosen one” and we’re choosing him to be a fire team leader.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: WB/Screenshot)

Saw Gunners

1. Animal Mother

He doesn’t give a sh*t about anything but killing the bad guys which is totally bad ass.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: WB/Screenshot)

2. Rambo

He can carry all the gear and shoot from the hip; no doubt he’ll put accurate rounds down range.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: TriStar/Screenshot)

3. Xander Cage

His hair is always in regs and he’s an adrenaline junky — we like that.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: Sony/Screenshot)

Riflemen

1. Luke Skywalker

I mean, obviously, right?

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: Buena Vista/Screenshot)

2. Sloth

He’s strong as hell, but needs to be told what to do.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: WB/Screenshot)

3. Deadpool

He’s an outstanding shot, but he’ll never get promoted to Corporal — not with that smart ass attitude.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: Flickr)

4. Private Reiben

He’s a hard charger and fights ’til the very end.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: Dream Works/Screenshot)

5. Frank Drebin

He’s comical as hell and Marines loved to be entertained while out in the sh*t. Plus he seems to always get the job done…somehow.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

6. Wolverine

He’s always down to fight and can heal himself up, making the Corpsman’s life easier.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: Fox/Screenshot)

The Comm Guy/ Radioman: Donatello

The one from the latest movies, not the cartoon version where he can’t get sh*t to work properly. Plus he’s a freakin’ ninja.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: Paramount/Pinterest)

Corpsman: Dr. Doug Ross

He’s good looking and has good hair — so do all Corpsmen.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: NBC/ The Ringer)

Bonus – The first infantrywoman: Imperator Furiosa

Just in case we get stuck in a firefight, she’d be good to have around.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Source: WB/Screenshot)

Who would you put into your infantry squad? Comment below.

 

Humor

7 awesome weapon arsenals in the movies

No action movie is complete without having big explosions and high-powered automatic weapons that help the good guys save the day.


Now, not every story needs to have an epic scene where the heroes gear up just to show off their weapon inventory. But when they do, the nostalgia of seeing them enter into a weapons vault sends chills down the audience’s spine.

Related: This is why silencers actually make your infantry weapon better

So check out our list of awesome weapon arsenals we’ve seen in the movies:

1. The Matrix

Although this takes place in the digital world, its endless variety of weapons will get any firearm collector’s mouth watering.

Damn, kid! (Images via Giphy)

2. The Boondock Saints

When you’re fighting crime in Boston, you need to have a weapon arsenal that can handle the load. They seem to have it.

Gun, guns, and more guns. (Image via Giphy)

3. Hot Fuzz

After a motivated cop relocates to a dull town where a murder hasn’t been committed in over 20-years, he’s bound to uncover something. But when he stumbles upon the town’s dark secret, he uses some big guns from the fully stocked arsenal to save the day.

A jaw dropping weapon arsenal. (Image via Giphy)

4. G.I. Joe: Retaliation

When the G.I. Joes take the fight to their arch nemesis known as Cobra, small pistols just aren’t sufficient enough to win the battle. They turn to General Joe Colton (Bruce Willis) for his expertise and his brilliant combative setup.

I hope he lives alone. (Image via Giphy)

5. Mr. Smith’s

When the worlds greatest male assassin finds out his wife is the world’s greatest female assassin it’s time to break out the big guns — and kill her.

Over kill? (Image via Giphy)

Also Read: 7 female TV detectives who’d make badass drill instructors

6. Mrs. Smith’s

When the worlds greatest female assassin finds out her husband is the world’s greatest male assassin it’s time to break out the big guns — and kill him.

Not the best place to hide an arsenal, but it’s still badass. (Image via Giphy)We’re starting to think they might not be the best assassins after all.

7. Terminator 2: Judgment Day

Taking down a huge corporation like Skynet while fighting an indestructible T-1000 is not easy. Luckily the good guys found a weapons vault in the middle of the desert.

Oh, yeah! (Image via Giphy)

Bonus: Tremors

Fighting off big a** worms requires some pretty large caliber weapons and tons of bad acting.

How do movies like this get the greenlight? (Image via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.
Articles

Marine ‘vaporizes’ bacon on M4-style rifle suppressor

Warning: Don’t watch this if you’re hungry.


U.S. Marine Corps Chief Warrant Officer 5 Christian Wade, a division gunner with the 2nd Marine Division, demonstrates how an M4-style short-barrel suppressor can get hot enough to cook — or even “vaporize” — bacon during a safety demonstration near Camp Lejeune, N.C., May 26, 2017, according to a release from the service.

The video, shot by Cpl. Clarence L. Wimberly, is part of the Marine Corps’ “Gunner Fact or Fiction” series designed to dispel common myths and misconceptions about the service’s weapon systems, the release states.

Enjoy.


Articles

6 myths civilians believe about Marines

Since Nov. 10th, 1775, the Marine Corps’ rich history of kicking ass and taking names has charmed Americans and earned their respect all across the United States. Because of that, civilians see Marines in a different perspective than the Navy, Air Force, or even Army.


Since every branch of the military has a particular image that the general population associates them with, we asked several civilians, “What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about the Marines?”

Related: 5 military myths that Hollywood has taught us to believe are true

Here’s what they said:

1. They have to be super patriotic to join

Most of them are, but others just couldn’t see themselves serving in another branch.

Now I’m joining the Corps! (Images via Giphy)

2. All Marines have to go war and fight

Not true. The Marines Corps is made of several different elements other than the infantry, like aircraft maintenance, logistics, and duties that cause your Marine to sit in an office and analyze intel all day — so breathe easy, momma bear.

Dammit, Carl! (Images via Giphy)

3. They’re all excellent shots with a rifle

Most are, but a low number of recruits score just high enough to earn the “rifle marksman” medal, a.k.a. the “pizza box.” All Marines must rifle qual before they can graduate from basic training, but it takes extra training and skill to earn higher levels of marksmanship.

Ask a Marine to explain this joke. (Images via Giphy)

4. They’re buff and strong

Most are pretty jacked, but many are just normal size — they make it up by having tons of heart.

Oh, Master Sergeant! (Images via Giphy)

5. They are mean and scary as hell

Marines can get pretty intense, but that just shows their passion. While a Marine can get super scary (especially when they gain rank or come in contact with people they just don’t like), some get by with just a quiet intensity.

But most of the time they’re fun loving. (Images via Giphy)

6. They’re brainwashed in boot camp

Negative, Ghost Rider.

They are just influenced to love their country and branch of service at an exceptionally high level through various mental and physical activities.

They have to be, to carry out the missions they’re are asked to do.

Sometimes this involves screaming while brushing their teeth — which may happen. (Images via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

11 hilarious Navy memes that are freaking spot on

In the military, we love to crack jokes at every branch’s expense — even our own. The comedic rivalry is real as it gets, but it’s always in good fun.


So, let’s use these memes to create as many humorous wounds as possible.

Related: 11 memes that perfectly capture life as a commo guy

1. When your level of saltiness is off the f*cking charts

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
We bet he’s got stories for days.

2. Old-school sailors have the best freaking stories about fist fights, drinking, and women — not necessarily in that order.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy

3. Just when you thought Navy ships couldn’t get any more hardcore, they go and do this.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
If you think this is impressive, wait until you see what gun they fire on Sunday.

4. The level of his “boot” has officially gone overboard.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
$10 says he’ll get out after his first enlistment.

Also Read: 11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

5. This is what your recruiter conveniently left out of their pitch

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
You can’t win a war without a clean weatherdeck.

6. Every sailor’s career has a different origin story

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
At this rate, he’ll be a Rear Admiral (Upper Half) in no time.

7. You might want to head the restroom afterward and check your trousers for brown eggs

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
Boot stress level: over 9000. (via navymemes.com)

8. The only thing that a hardworking sailor wants is to get off work on time and drink a beer.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy

More: 11 Air Force memes that will make you laugh for hours

9. You can piss off a lot of people without repercussions, but a chief is not one of them.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
Hide for as long as you can.

10. Lies, lies, and more lies… Okay, it’s kind of true.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
Experiences may vary.

11. No one can ever outdo this dick joke. This aircrew won.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
(Image via Pop smoke)

Humor

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Dec. 22

America has a new tax code, no one at the UN cares what Nikki Haley thinks about Jerusalem, and this week, the President presented his plan to keep us all safe.


Those are just a few of the more political stories we didn’t cover because we don’t really do politics.

I present you the gift of memes. These memes. Merry Christmakkah.

1. When the father of our country wants to stab people, you let him.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
Father knows best.

2. It only took 3 uniform changes over 10 years, but…

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
And Navy still comes in with ridiculous blue uniforms. They never learn.

3. Turns out ‘Groundhog Day’ was the story of one man’s enlistment. (via Marine Corps Memes)

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy

Also read: 6 crazy things actually found in amnesty boxes

4. Does it count if a recording answers the phone?

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
Or any millennial.

5. Who calculated this?

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
And where are they stationed?

6. “And you better dress for it.”

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
Also, any pills you take will end your career.

Now read: This is why the U.S.military uses 5.56mm ammo instead of 7.62mm

7. Oh look, the Empire has a National Guard.

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?

8. But… Pew. Pew?

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
The learning curve in Vietnam was a b*tch.

8. “Honk if parts fall off.”

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
There’s no in-between.

9. Now show me Petty Officer 1st Class Keef before his promotion. (via Pop Smoke)

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
I don’t want to be in that safety briefing.

Classic: That time CBS captured an intense firefight in Vietnam

10. “This song’s about me!”

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy

11. That’s the Christmas spirit. (via Decelerate Your Life)

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
Be not led into temptation.

12. Somebody call the medic, we have a sick burn. (via the Salty Soldier)

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
When a recruiter is on an all-salt diet.

13. This is only the half-truth. (via Air Force amn/nco/snco)

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy
We wouldn’t eat that garbage cut. Filet or nothing.

Now Check Out: 9 reasons you should have joined the Army instead

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