Humor

6 of the most disappointing military movies of all time

A good film can do amazing things for a viewer. It can you give an authentic glimpse into a real-life situation. It can stir up emotions and force you to sit with them. Yes, there is a reason that it's called, "movie magic."


Of course, we know that not everything can be good. There are far more bad films than there are good ones — this is equally true of the war movie genre.

This is, in part, because the details are what make a military movie good (more so than in other genres) and, when those details are missing, the films can get downright hard to watch.

Related: Bombs away! Here are the 13 worst military movies in Hollywood history

6. Rambo 3

There's a reason that Stallone is still relevant many years after we were first introduced to him. His first two major releases (Rocky, Rocky II) endeared us all to him so much so that we've given him more than a few passes for some of his less impressive work.

One of his most notorious missteps is Rambo III. Sadly, this series evolved from a rich, layered film in First Blood to our eponymous hero inadvertently supporting the Taliban in the debacle that is Rambo III. Even watching this as a very young kid, the movie left plenty to be desired.

Stallone watching his last f*ck float over the horizon as he films this gratuitously bad movie. (Photo from TriStar Pictures' Rambo III)

5. Basic

I was a young airman stationed in Oahu when this came out. While the cool quasi-group, Section 8, inspired many a young service member and friend to create "wild" cliques, that cape made anything and everything else about the movie unacceptable.

Does anyone have any idea where I can get an official Army enlisted cape? (Photo from Columbia Pictures' Basic)

4. Jarhead 2

Jarhead is based on the real-life accounts of the Persian Gulf War from a real-life Marine, Anthony Swofford. I'm still trying to figure out what the sequel is based on.

Why was considered a good idea to made two sequels that have little in common with the original outside of the title, anyway?

We're all asking the same question: Why?! (Photo from Universal Pictures' Jarhead 2).

3. The Marine 2

Two things that just make it uber hard to take this film seriously.

1. It is made by the WWE.

2. The lead actor is Ted DiBiase Jr. No, not the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase... but his son.

We needed the first one, but we definitely didn't need the second. (Photo from 20th Century Fox's The Marine 2)

2. Windtalkers

In a classic example of style over substance, Windtalkers is easily one of the most inaccurate, poorly executed war movies of the last 20 years. Not coincidentally, it enjoyed the third biggest financial loss for a war-themed movie ever.

Also Read: 7 more professional athletes you didn't know were veterans

This movie could very well give you the Cage stare. (Photo from Metro Goldwyn Mayer's Windtalkers)

1. Pearl Harbor

This is a three-hour movie, though only roughly 20 minutes of it is actually about the attack on Pearl Harbor. I was stationed at what is now Joint Base Hickam-Pearl Harbor when this premiered back in 2001 and there were some survivors there.

Some of those survivors explored the two bases — taking a trip down memory lane, I'm sure — before and after the premiere. I was lucky enough to converse with a few of them.

Let's just say they didn't have the best opinion of the movie and when I was able to see it, I understood exactly why.

At the time of release, everyone in this photo was a star. Not so much today. (Photo from Buena Vista Pictures' Pearl Harbor)