7 times enlisted troops don't want to salute - We Are The Mighty
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7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

Saluting is a non-verbal form of communication used in day-to-day military life and during various ceremonies to convey respect.


As recruits, we learn how to properly execute a hand-salute, and it’s an act we demonstrate hundreds of times throughout our service. The hand gesture quickly becomes part of our muscle memory.

Although the gesture is meant to pay respect, there are a few times in which enlisted personnel want to hold back their rendered salutes — these are a few of those times.

Related: 7 different types of MPs you’ll face at the gate

1. When you’re on a roll, working hard, but then “Colors” begins.

Sure, we joined the military because we’re patriotic, but it sucks to shift your focus when you’ve got momentum.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

2. When it’s 3 a.m., you’re half asleep on barracks duty, and the Officer of the Day walks in.

Oh, sh*t! You weren’t sleeping, right? Just tell them you were just praying before you screw up the salute.

3. After a 12-hour shift guarding the gate and you’ve already saluted at least 500 blue stickers.

“If I have to salute another dependant with a blue sticker, I’m going to flip.”

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
(Photo by U.S. Marine Cpl. Jo Jones)

4. When it’s freezing outside and evening “Taps” sounds off.

Sometimes, it’s just too damn cold out to be patriotic.

5. When an officer from another branch rolls around.

Yuck… Let’s just get this over with.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

Also Read: 5 common movie mistakes veterans can spot right away

6. Having to salute a lower-ranking troop to gain entry onto the ship.

To get payback later, make sure the lower enlistee salutes you back with proper freakin’ form.

7. After work, when you’re carrying more than a case of beer back to the barracks, and an officer walks by.

Whatever you do, do not make eye contact with the general.

MIGHTY TACTICAL

Watch Russian tanks cut fruit, dance, and draw pictures

The Russian Army showed off the precision of its tank crews in a bizarre demonstration.

According to Zvezda, the media outlet of the Russian armed forces, T-80 tank crews conducted demonstrations during Army-2019 forum, held near Moscow. One tank crew had a marker attached to its main gun and, with the help of its stabilizer, drew five-sided star on an easel.


“Undeniable proof that American tank crews have been outgunned by their Russian counterparts in arts and crafts,” Rob Lee, a Ph.D. student focused on Russian defense policy, joked on Twitter.

The demonstration also included a fruit-focused portion.

With a knife attached to the tank’s gun, the crew halved a watermelon, sliced through what appears to be a smaller melon, and then, as the finale, chopped an apple in half.

In a nod to the classical Russian arts, two T-80 tanks also “danced” to a piece from Russian composer Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s “Swan Lake,” a ballet in which a prince falls in love with a woman who is cursed to be a swan during the daytime hours.

According to Zvevda, this exercise was intended to show off the maneuverability of the tanks as they moved in unison in a muddy field.

US forces have also done silly things, although in a less official capacity. In 2017, a Navy fighter pilot drew a penis with contrails from his jet in the sky over Washington state, a stunt for which the flier was disciplined.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY CULTURE

Former Nissan CEO fugitive says Hollywood is interested in his escape story

Carlos Ghosn has expressed interest in making a movie about his life before, from meeting with “Birdman” producer John Lesher to being at the center of rumors he was working with Netflix (which the streaming service denies).

Now, Hollywood may be even more interested in the ousted Nissan CEO, now that he’s pulled off an unbelievable escape from 24-hour surveillance on house arrest in Japan to living lavishly in Lebanon.


In a new interview with CBS News, Ghosn said Hollywood had reached out to him about his life story, and responded “Why not?” when asked if he could see a project happening.

Former Nissan chair Carlos Ghosn on escape from Japan: “I fled injustice”

www.youtube.com

He also answered “no comment” when asked about whether his daring escape on December 29 involved any Americans, or if he really stuffed himself into a box used for concert equipment with breathing holes cut in the bottom so that he could ride a private jet out of Japan without detection.

Ghosn described the risks he took when escaping from 24-hour surveillance in Japan, but didn’t elaborate on how he did it

Ghosn also told CBS News that he planned his escape himself, which was rumored to involve 15 people – including a former US Green Beret – and cost millions. For the first leg of his escape, Ghosn boarded a bullet train undetected for a 3-hour trip to the Osaka airport.

“I knew that I was taking risk,” Ghosn said in the interview.

“I knew that, if I was putting people around me in the loop, not only they were taking a risk, but also the risk of any slippage, any rumor, any leak, would be very high, and they would kill any project like this. So, I had to work by myself only with people who are going to operate, you know? There was nobody else. This was a condition.”

The fugitive, who described himself specifically as a “fugitive from injustice,” says he’s the only person who knows all the details about what really happened.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

Carlos Ghosn at Nissan’s Honmoku Wharf, a logistics hub about 10 km southeast of Nissan’s global headquarters in Yokohama, July 2011

(Photo by Bertel Schmitt)

In the late ’90s, Ghosn helped pull Nissan back from the brink of bankruptcy. But other Nissan executives accused him of not disclosing how much he was taking out of the company as profits began to suffer in 2018, and Ghosn was arrested in Japan and charged with financial wrongdoing.

He has claimed he’s innocent of all charges and needed to escape from Japan, where there is a 99% conviction rate. At Japan’s request, Interpol issued a “Red Notice” for Ghosn and his wife Carole, which doesn’t require Lebanon to arrest him but is a request to law enforcement worldwide that they locate and arrest a fugitive.

“I don’t feel bad about it, because the way I’ve been treated, and the way I was looking at the system, frankly, I don’t feel any guilt,” Ghosn told CBS News. The Lebanese government has restricted him from leaving the country, but he is now believed to be residing in a million mansion.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

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MIGHTY CULTURE

5 simple whiskey cocktails to make this summer

A well-made whiskey cocktail is a nice reward at the end of any day. But sometimes classic cocktails are too much. For one thing, unless you’re a seasoned drink-slinger, many whiskey cocktails are often too complicated — or intensive — to whip up at the end of a long day (Hey if you want to shake the hell out of that classic whiskey sour, go right ahead). For another, the alcohol content of one concoction can quickly equal that of two or three regular drinks. Sometimes this is great; other times, not so much. Because while we’d like this to not be the case, “falling asleep in the chair” is not really a regular item on the nightly to-do list.

That’s what inspired this list of one-shot whiskey cocktails. They’re all great to sip at the end of the day but won’t put you on your ass — or require four kinds of hooch and one of those hilariously long copper mixing spoons. They’re simple, refreshing, and very drinkable. What more do you want from a summer cocktail?


7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

(Photo by Jessica Lewis)

1. The Blinker

What is it? The Blinker is a simple, refreshing drink made with grapefruit juice and rye whiskey. While they might not seem like the most obvious combination, one sip and it might just become your new summer go to.

Try it with: Michter’s Rye. It’s bold enough to shine through the intensity of the grapefruit tang.

How to make a Blinker:

  • 1-2oz Rye
  • 2-3oz fresh grapefruit juice
  • 1oz raspberry syrup

Instructions: Shake over ice and strain into a coupe glass.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

2. Bourbon and Georgia Peach Coca-Cola

What is it? A way better version of the classic whiskey and Coke.

Try it with: Knob Creek. The strong vanilla notes compliment the peach flavoring.

How to make a Bourbon and Georgia Peach Coca-Cola:

  • 1-2oz Knob Creek Bourbon
  • 4-6oz Georgia Peach Coca-Cola
  • Garnish with a fresh slice of peach

Instructions: Fill a highball glass with ice and add all the ingredients.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

(Photo by Johann Trasch)

3. The Bourbon Bloody Mary

What is it? The vodka brunch classic made with bourbon. Whiskey gives the drink a subtle hint of smoke and more depth than the original.

Try it with: Bulleit Bourbon. The whiskey’s citrus and spice notes accentuate the punch of the tomato and the heat of the hot sauce.

How to Make a Bourbon Bloody Mary:

  • 1-2oz bourbon
  • 4oz Bloody Mary mix (we like McClure’s)
  • A few generous dashes of Worcestershire sauce
  • Dash of Tapatio hot sauce
  • Garnish with black pepper and a kosher pickle spear

Instructions: Fill a highball glass with ice and add all ingredients. Stir.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

(Photo by Johann Trasch)

4. Japanese Highball

What is it? A whisky-soda with a rock and roll kick. A good Japanese malt gives this classic a radically different profile.

Try it with: Nikka Coffey Malt Whisky. The whisky is fruity and floral and the tiny bubbles from the soda atomize the nose to create a fragrantly charming and refreshing cocktail

How to make a Japanese Highball:

  • 1-2oz whisky
  • 4oz club soda

Instructions: Fill a Collins glass with ice. Add ingredients. Stir briefly.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

(Photo by Adam Jaime)

5. The Single Malt Old Fashioned

What is it? It’s just an Old Fashioned made with Scotch instead of rye or bourbon. The Old Fashioned is a perfect cocktail and normally we don’t like to tinker with perfection. But, variety is the spice of life and Scotch is, and always will be our first love.

Try it with: Ardbeg 10. This single malt adds a big peaty smoke as well as a touch of salt and pepper for a more layered drink.

How to make a Single Malt Old Fashioned:

  • 1-2oz Single Malt Scotch
  • 2-3 Dashes of bitters
  • 1 Tsp of simple syrup
  • Top with 1oz club soda
  • Orange peel for garnish

Instructions: Fill a rocks glass with ice. Add the ingredients.

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.

Lists

5 of the biggest gripes troops have about the infantry

Being in the infantry is a tough gig. Despite that, many of us chose to hold an MOS that requires us to serve in what’s considered the backbone of the U.S. military. Now, you would think, having been around for a few hundred years now, that our military would have things all figured out, right?

Wrong. Many of the ground pounders have had the same gripes and complaints throughout the years.


These are just a few:

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

The Navy and Marine Corps’ budget (2000 – 2017).

(statista.com)

Too many hand-me-downs

The Marine Corps is the most underfunded branch of the military as they fall under the Department of the Navy — which is also expensive to maintain. Since the Navy sure doesn’t split their government funds down the middle, only a very small percentage of grunts get new gear.

So, to save money, many infantryman commonly receive what the Army doesn’t use anymore. Bummer.

Being at the armory in general

Many of the troops at the armory have plenty sh*tty schedules. They’ve gotta be around when infantrymen need to check out weapons and they’ve gotta be around when it’s time to check them back in. In general, there’s not a whole lot of excitement going on. So, armorers like to f*ck with the infantryman. How? By not accepting their clean rifles on the first few attempts.

On top of all that, the armorers are rarely on time to the weapons facility in the first place. So, it’s time again to hurry up and wait.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

Hey boys and girls, this is what “hurry up and wait” looks like in the military.

(Photo by Jim Veneman)

Hurrying up and waiting

For a country that can deploy to a war zone at a moment’s notice, it’s pretty surprising how inefficient the logistics can be on a smaller scale. Many of the lower enlisted troops know how it feels to “hurry up and wait” just to get word of what’s going to happen for the day.

Nobody likes to wait around to get a table at a restaurant let alone to figure out what they need to get done for the work day.

How important it is to wear black socks over white ones

Outside of it being officially part of the uniform, we couldn’t find a single reason why grunts are required to black socks. In reality, black socks are pretty rough on an infantryman’s feet for a few reasons:

  1. Reportedly, the black dye in socks isn’t as healthy for sweaty feet. Conversely, white socks, for the most part, lack artificial coloring.
  2. Black socks attract more heat, which makes feet sweaty and, eventually, soggy. This can cause ailments, like athlete’s foot, down the line.

Some commands get pissed when they see their troops wearing the offensive white socks on a hot day. Why?

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

They PT until there’s something else to do. Then, they PT some more.

All the time wasted in the field

Grunts love to blow sh*t up. The idea of rigging an object to explode is written somewhere in the infantryman’s DNA. It can be freakin’ fun to shoot some well-dialed-in rifles and launch grenades at a static target, but first… you need to hurry up and wait some more.

When grunts get out into the field, they sometimes end up doing nothing as they wait for the officers to show up.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Why ‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ is expected to flop at China box office

“Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” is heading for the worst opening at the China box office of Disney’s new “Star Wars” movies.

The movie had earned $2.2 million in the region by 8 p.m. local time on Friday, according to Variety, and was trailing behind three Chinese movies. The Chinese ticket service Maoyan is projecting “The Rise of Skywalker” to earn just $18 million during its theatrical run in China.

The “Star Wars” franchise has struggled to build an audience in the country, where Hollywood is increasingly relying on its box office to boost its blockbusters. The Chinese theatrical market has been growing at a rapid pace and is even projected to dethrone the US as the world’s box-office leader within the next few years.


Each Disney-era “Star Wars” movie has made less in China than the previous one. Here’s how each of them performed there:

  • “The Force Awakens” — 4 million
  • “Rogue One” — million
  • “The Last Jedi” — million
  • “Solo” — million
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

(Disney/Lucasfilm)

Despite the lack of enthusiasm in China, all of those movies except “Solo” grossed over id=”listicle-2641661309″ billion worldwide. “The Force Awakens” earned over billion globally and 6 million domestically.

“The Rise of Skywalker” is expected to have a big opening domestically this weekend — despite negative reviews — but still less than the previous movies in the new trilogy. Boxoffice.com is projecting the movie to debut between 0 million and 0 million. “The Force Awakens” opened with 8 million domestically and “The Last Jedi” with 0 million.

“The Rise of Skywalker” so far has a 57% critic score on Rotten Tomatoes, making it the worst-reviewed “Star Wars” movie since “The Phantom Menace.”

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

Read more:

Articles

6 things MPs do (besides give you tickets)

Military police get a bad rap. Sure, they spend a lot of time trying to catch speeders going 2 mph over the limit in the middle of the night and give the driver a ticket that stalls his career for no good reason, but they also do useful stuff like these six things:


1. Engage in maneuver warfare

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
A Marine Raider supervises military police training on urban patrolling on Nov. 2, 2016, in Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. (Photo: U.S. Marine Corps Capt. Nicholas Mannweiler)

Believe it or not, the troops voted most likely to work as mall security after they get their DD-214 are trained to take and hold territory from the enemy in war. While the MPs aren’t as specialized in these tasks as the infantry, they are capable.

The U.S. Army military police school’s manevuer training focuses on breaching operations, route recon and surveillance, controlling river crossings, and other essential elements of controlling the battlespace.

2. Guard mission-critical infrastructure

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
U.S. Marine military police conduct immediate action drills alongside Philippine Marines at Colonel Ernesto Ravina Air Base, Philippines, Oct. 7, 2016. (Photo and cutline: U.S. Marine Corps Sgt. Tiffany Edwards)

So, yeah, there’s a reason that MPs do make good mall cops if they ever feel the need to take that route. They do train to protect stationary places from local hooligans. It’s just those stationary places are air bases and ammo dumps and those local hooligans are hardened insurgent fighters.

The MPs call it “critical site security.” And they train to do it in chemical gear, under fire, and facing off against enemy infantry. So you better believe they can keep the stoner kids out of Spencer Gifts.

3. Evacuate civilians from conflict areas and natural disasters

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
A military policeman pulls security as other soldiers load a CH-47 during non-combatant evacuation training. (Photo: U.S. Army Spc. Thomas Scaggs)

When the rains come, whether they’re rains of artillery or torrential downpours of water, the MPs are just as ready to rush in and get civilians out of harm’s way as they seem in all those recruiting commercials.

“Dislocated Civilians,” “Populace and Resource Control,” and “Straggler, Dislocated Civilian Control” are all military police functions that pretty much mean that MPs will corral you to safety and help figure out the food situation during the next zombie apocalypse.

4. Investigate crimes

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
Military police analyze a foot impression during training at Camp Bondsteel, Kosovo, on July 13, 2016. (Photo: U.S. Army photo Staff Sgt. Thomas Duval)

Unless you’re a murderer. Because the MPs will definitely not have your back if you’re a murderer. Or a drug user. Or dealer. Or really, any crime. That’s because some military police become MPIs, military police investigators, and will be investigating those crimes.

While the MPIs don’t get the headlines like the special agents of the Criminal Investigations Division or the Naval Criminal Investigations Service, they do assist in the investigations of major crimes by collecting witness testimony and physical evidence. And, like all MPs, they are federal law enforcement officers.

5. Contain riots and civil unrest

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
Army soldiers complete fire phobia training. (Photo: US Army Sgt. Cody Barber)

Military police don’t just train on hunting enemy soldiers and tracking down hardened criminals. They also learn how to deal with angry protestors. The military emphasizes de-escalation when possible, but MPs learn how to hold the line against Molotov cocktails and armed protesters if necessary to contain riots and civil unrest. This includes everything from fire phobia training to the proper use of tear gas.

6. Teach policing fundamentals to partnered military and law enforcement agencies

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
American Marines and Republic of Vanuatu Police Force officers train together on frisk and search procedures on Oct. 26, 2016, at Port Vila, Vanuatu. (Photo: U.S. Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Quavaungh Pointer

Of course, all this training turns new recruits into law enforcement experts, or at least people with enough expertise to train brand new police officers. Military police units are often sent around the world to train the police departments of American allies.

Articles

This U.S. Marine went to Somalia and became a warlord

Hussein Farrah Aidid left the United States Marine Corps and attempted to be a warlord like his father, Mohamed Farrah Aidid, who is a central figure in the story of Black Hawk Down.


Mohamed Aidid was the leader of the Habr Gidr clan, who vied for power in the wake of the fall of dictator Mohamed Siad Barre’s Somali regime. Aidid not only diverted food aid and relief supplies, his fighters ambushed 24 Pakistani peacekeepers. The United Nations offered a $25,000 reward for his capture, and he was targeted by Task Force Ranger. TF Ranger’s hunt for Aidid led to the ill-fated Battle of Mogadishu that resulted in the death of 18 American troops.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

Aidid had four wives. His first wife, Asli Dhubad, gave birth to five children. Hussein Farrah Aidid was the first of those five. He was born in a remote area of Somalia in 1962. At the age of 14, he emigrated to the United States at a time when Somalia was ruled by the dictator Barre whose authoritarian government was enjoying a brief thaw in relations with the U.S. Hussein graduated from high school in Covina, California two years later before enlisting in the U.S. Marine Corps.

Aidid was an artilleryman, assigned to Battery B, 14th Marines at the Marine Corps Reserve base in Pico Rivera, California. He deployed in support of Operation Restore Hope, the U.S.-led task force in Somalia whose aim was to disrupt the personal army of Mohamed Farrah Aidid. The elder Aidid controlled the strongest faction in the ongoing power struggle in the country.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
Three US Marines, from an Explosive Ordnance Disposal unit, examine a Somali tank, a US made M47, that was captured in the raid of Somali Warlord General Aideed’s weapons cantonment area. This mission is in direct support of Operation Restore Hope. (U.S. Navy photo by PHCM Terry Mitchell)

The UN mandate was to “establish as soon as possible a secure environment for humanitarian relief operations in Somalia.” Essentially, Restore Hope aimed to protect the delivery of food and other humanitarian aid, keeping it from falling into the hands of Aidid’s personal army. The Marines deployed the younger Aidid because he was the only one in the ranks who could speak Somali.

He returned to the U.S. and became a naturalized citizen. In 1995, Aidid told his command he would miss drill for a while because he was traveling outside the U.S. He returned to Somalia and began preparing for his role in the Habr Gidr militia.

The elder Mohamed Farrah Aidid continued his struggle for power, even declaring himself President of Somalia in 1995, a declaration no country recognized. He was shot in a battle against former allied warlords in July 1996 and died of a heart attack during surgery.

Hussein was declared his father’s successor at age 33. The man who left the Marines as a corporal was suddenly a general.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

The younger Aidid vacillated between being more conciliatory than his father to being as warlike as his father. Initially he vowed to crush and kill his enemies at home and overseas. He continued his father’s policies, especially the pacification of the countryside, which most saw as an authoritarian power grab. Forces loyal to Aidid were known to rob and kill civilians in their controlled territories. Other allied factions left the young leader’s camp because they did not see dedication to the peace process.

The younger Aidid eventually softened, renouncing his claim to the presidency and agreeing to UN-brokered peace agreements in 1997. An ardent anti-Islamist, he assisted the Bush Administration in tracking down the flow of arms and money through Mogadishu, gave up the sale and use of landmines, and helped Somali government forces capture the capital from the al-Qaeda-allied Islamic Courts Union in 2006. He was hired and fired as deputy Prime Minister, Minister of the Interior, and Minister of Public Works. He defected to Eritrea in 2007.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
Hussein Farrah Aidid as Deputy Prime Minister of the Somali Transitional Government

”I always wanted to be a Marine,” he told The Associated Press. ”I’m proud of my background and military discipline. Once a Marine, always a Marine.”

MIGHTY HISTORY

15 photos of the first black Marines in US history

The U.S. Marine Corps didn’t allow black men into its ranks until 1942, months after America joined World War II and decades after the Army and Navy began accepting black troops. But that delayed start means that cameras were common when the first black Marines earned their Eagle, Globe, and Anchors. Here are 15 photos from those first pioneers.


(Writer’s note: These images come from the National Archives which have a whole section dedicated to black troops in World War II with over 250 images. The captions below were updated for language and clarity, but the information contained comes from that archive. You can find more images and historical context by visiting them here.)

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
MIGHTY CULTURE

This is the only tool you need to be the next Porta-John da Vinci

There are a few hallmarks of the infantry. There’s the marksmanship, the ability to read the terrain and predict enemy movements, and the knowledge of tactics and maneuvers.

And, most importantly, there’s the ability to turn just about anything into a phallic image.


(Fair warning: In case you couldn’t tell, penis drawings are going to be involved in this post. Do not keep scrolling if you don’t want to see them. Seriously, you can’t possibly be confused as to what comes next.)

Infantrymen draw penises in port-a-potties, they draw penises in the barracks, they draw penises on each other. It’s all about the penis drawings.

Sure, infantry training, Marine and Army, lacks a portion dedicated to drawing male genitalia, but it’s still traditional. It’s an important part of infantry life.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

Draw a penis from the side with really small testicles, get a penis with perfect proportions.

And that’s where Penint comes in. It’s an advanced web app that takes any and all drawings and improves them by turning them into perfectly proportioned penis drawings, just like an infantryman’s.

And, the web app works even if you accidentally draw something that isn’t a penis. Slip up and draw something weird like a flower? BAM! Penis.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

Here’s a little flower, short and stout. Here are the testes, here is the spout.

Best of all, you know what happens when you try to create training documents? Maybe you draw a nice, fancy rifle so you can teach the folks in your squad where the upper and lower receivers are.

Haha, you guessed it:

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, 10 seconds later, it’s for fun.

It works for any drawing. It’s like a miracle Etch-a-Sketch. You just do your single-line drawing, wait a minute, and you’ve got a penis.

If a Cav scout is drawing tanks and Bradleys to help remember what they’re working with, then they get a happy surprise when they’re done: Penises.

You can’t change the background color to blue or the foreground color to white, so it’s not quite perfect for fighter pilots, but we’re sure they could make do somehow.

Might even save some careers. Remember that squadron commander who was fired for drawing penises all over his maps? Now, he has a creative outlet that won’t cost him his career. And it’s even run through his computer, just like the ones that got him in trouble.

Or how about all the Marine pilots drawing penises in the sky? At least now they can perfectly plan out their routes if they still really insist on flying these problematic paths.

You’re welcome.

Articles

Video shows just how operator AF Keanu Reeves can be

Seriously, as if the first viral video of actor Keanu Reeves slamming steel like a freaking Delta Force ninja wasn’t badass enough, now famed tactical firearms instructor and 3-Gun maestro Taran Butler has released more footage of the “John Wick” star getting his pew pew on.


Butler is a world champion 3-Gun competitor (a shooting sport that requires mastery of a shotgun, handgun and AR-style rifle) and frequently trains actors to properly handle weapons for Hollywood blockbusters.

An earlier video of Reeves slinging lead like a boss exploded online last year, with the actor demonstrating some serious skills in weapons handling and accuracy. In the newest video made up of more clips from the training last year — and includes some help from WATM friend Jaqueline Carrizosa — Reeves displays skills and speed that would make any top-tier competitor (and even some of America’s elite special operators) smile.

His transitions are lightning fast, his shot placement is about as “down zero” as it gets, and his trigger speeds are borderline full-auto, with minuscule splits and solidly low stage times. He even executes difficult “with-retention” handgun shots and moves from a close-in optic to a distance shot with his AR and drops steel every time.

You’ve just got to see it to believe it.

popular

5 places where dueling to the death is not a crime

So, you’ve found yourself in a disagreement and, to prove your honor and chivalry, you’ve challenged someone to a duel, just like in the days of old. Of course, mutual combat, such as fist fighting, fencing, and even non-lethal, “stun gun” duels have their own rules, but let’s assume we’re talking about a pure, Hamilton-versus-Burr, to-the-death style duel.


Sadly, most countries and jurisdictions consider it murder these days, regardless of the circumstances. To define dueling, we’re going by the 1777 Code Duello, which states that if two individuals can’t reconcile their differences, they can meet in the field of honor, but only if they both consent, each has witnesses and doctors, and both agree to use one bullet at ten paces. By modern standards, these concessions simply complicate things. Now, by agreeing to terms beforehand, the possible death is “premeditated,” which isn’t smiled upon in the eyes of the law, and duels aren’t covered by variations of “stand your ground” laws.

Thankfully, you two can still put your honor on the line, but you’re both going to have to travel.

1. Afghan tribal areas

In the hills between Afghanistan and Pakistan, the laws aren’t governed by the respective nations, but by local tribal laws.

Honor plays a huge role in tribal life and nothing is more honorable than a duel. If you’re willing to travel to the war-torn region, have at it. They probably won’t stop you.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
You’d probably have a few more people wanting you dead than just your dueling opponent, though. (Photo By Cpl. Reece Lodder)

2. Pitcairn Island

In the south Pacific lies the world’s smallest nation. So small that it only has two police officers and not a single lawyer.

Since there aren’t many laws governing all of 50 inhabitants, there’s only one law that covers assaulting another person. If they do take offense to your duel, just pay the $100 fine and carry on.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
It’d still take you around two weeks and a couple thousand dollars to get there. The $100 fine is probably nothing at that point. (Image via NOAA)

3. Western Sahara

The laws of the Western Sahara technically fall under Moroccan jurisdiction, but no one really gives a damn because, well, there’s nothing there but desert. The region’s laws are more concerned with maintaining religious customs, which has lead to a rise in terrorism.

When you’re out in the desert, it’s practically lawless — but legality of dueling is probably the last thing you should be concerned about.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
Just you, the desert, terrorists, and your dueling opponent. (Image via Flickr)

4. International waters

It’s actually a misconception that anyone can do anything on the high seas. When you’re 12 miles offshore, the laws of the ship are of whichever country the ship is registered to. This is why cruise ships don’t become lawless hellscapes when traveling.

But, if you were to travel to an unclaimed island that doesn’t have bird or bat poop on it, both participants renounce their citizenship. Travel from that island on an unregistered ship and hope that your duel isn’t noticed by the international community. If you’re willing to go that far, however, you might as well talk your differences out.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
And yet, the Coast Guard could still rain on your parade. (Coast Guard photo by Petty Officer 2nd Class LaNola Stone)

5. Uruguay

While everywhere else on this list leaves dueling in a sort-of gray area, Uruguay made it a national law in 1920. Surprisingly enough, the last duel took place in 1971 between two politicians after one was called a coward. Another came close in 1990 between a police inspector and newspaper editor, but the inspector backed down.

It has since been made forbidden in 1992. However, since dueling played a huge role in their politics and culture, if you could get the consent of their congress and president, you can still take your ten paces.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
They’ll probably say no to keep up positive relations with the US and it wouldn’t look good if an American died there. (DOD photo by Erin A. Kirk-Cuomo)

Bonus facts

After it was wrongly added to a book of “facts,” there was a common misconception that you could legally duel in Paraguay if both participants were blood donors. This falsity was quickly shot down by their government.

Also, the last official duel following the rules of Code Duello was in 1967, in France.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
(Image via Wikimedia Commons)

MIGHTY HISTORY

This is why soldiers wear unit patches

(Header photo by U.S. Army Sgt. Von Marie Donato)

Each branch of the military has a different way to show their unit pride. U.S. Army soldiers wear easily identifiable patches (a shoulder sleeve insignia) on the left shoulder of their combat uniform.


The SSI shows the current duty station that the soldier is attached to. If the soldier has deployed to a designated combat zone, they can also slap that unit patch onto the right shoulder to wear for the rest of their career.

This leads to a little game soldiers play, reminiscent of kids playing with trading cards, where they trade unit patches with one another or leave one with the Bangor Troop Greeters.

Depending on the unit, this may be for regiment, brigade, or division — with the patch being from the highest distinct echelon (so if you were in the 101st Airborne, you would wear the 101st patch and not the XVIII Airborne Corps patch).

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute

The patch was conceived to inspire unit pride and to identify other soldiers in the unit. The first to adopt a shoulder patch was the 81st Infantry Division in 1918. When they deployed to France shortly after adopting it, their patch drew much disdain from other units in the American Expeditionary Force.

Also read: 13 of the best military morale patches

The “Wildcat” Division’s unit patch was brought to the attention of Gen. John J. “Blackjack” Pershing by a fellow officer because it was unbecoming of the uniform. After some consideration, the only American to be promoted to General of the Armies in his lifetime decided that the 81st should keep their unit patch and suggested other divisions to follow suit. The patch became officially recognized on Oct. 19, 1918, and many more followed shortly after.

7 times enlisted troops don’t want to salute
We can only assume he made his mind up fast because he had much bigger things to worry about than someone adding a patch to their uniform. (Image via Wikicommons)

Ever since then, soldiers have a treasured relationship with their unit patches (and even more if they deployed with them.)  Through their patch, they stand tall among their brothers in arms of the past — adding to their legacy.

Related: 13 more of the best military morale patches