Humor

Top 7 things veterans should never do at their new job

You've got your DD-214 in hand, you've taken off the uniform for the last time, and you've likely set fire to the road as you head off to a new life beyond service.


School is probably the most pressing thing on your radar but, eventually, you're going back to work. You've been through some pretty gnarly stuff and you'll be an incredible asset wherever you land. There are, however, some habits you may have picked up during your time in uniform that will not translate into the civilian workforce. Some of it is because, yes, "snowflakes" abound, but some of it just doesn't quite fit in your new world.

Below are seven things you should never do at your new, post-service job.

Related: 7 of the top surprises veterans face going to school

7. Eat that leftover food in the fridge

Depending on what you did in service, this may not be a thing for you. If you were a shift worker, however, you know that leaving things in the fridge (marked or not) is a roll of the dice.

The bigger the fridge, the lower your odds. I, personally, hated that, but it is definitely a thing. Your new job likely won't care that you thought Etta Mae's meatloaf smelled too delicious to pass up.

Also, people do this kind of stuff:

No doubt in my mind, the response was written by the other veteran in the office. (Image via Reddit).

6. Be sarcastic

Yes, sarcasm is a tool. It is the release of the slow-burning rage that builds within the often misunderstood. It's also a great way to be viewed as an asshole at your new gig.

Sure, in the military, when you're outranked by someone much younger than you, you're instinctually trained to react sarcastically. In the civilian world, that same kind of disconnect can be jarring for the already-adjusting veteran. It's a tough pill to swallow, but even if your manager looks like a pimple-nosed teen, keep that sarcasm pent up.

Pictured: Veteran's involuntary response when asked if they've ever shot a gun (Image from Hemdale Film Corporation's Vampire's Kiss).

5. Respond with aggression... to anything

Aggression is a great thing to have in a lot of military settings. Being aggressive and swift to act is what's expected from pretty much the whole military.

At your new job? Not so much.

Sure, aggression is still useful and can get you through a lot of doors, but it can also rub a lot of people the wrong way. Try to dial it back a few levels whenever possible — and call it, 'assertiveness.'

This is not the correct way to deal with the office dumb*ss. (Image from Universal Pictures' Wanted).

4. Begin any email with, "per my last email"

We all know that whatever follows is intended to politely tell the recipient to go f*ck or unf*ck themselves. That's probably not going to go over very well here.

This is just the beginning of a line of pettiness that you should avoid. (Image by Reddit).

3. Initiate a "smoke session"

In the civilian world, this is literally abuse. It isn't only a fireable offense, but depending on where you are and how they want to play it, you could end up having to talk to the other boys in blue. You're definitely going to have a find a new way to motivate whatever subordinates you have.

These days are definitely in your rearview mirror. (Image via Rally Point).

2. Tell any jokes you heard while serving

They just won't get it. At all. They'll laugh, uncomfortably, and then you'll slowly stop receiving invites for post-work drinks from everyone but that other veteran in the office.

He's more f*cked up than you.

Also read: 7 military things that somehow get you fired in the civilian world

He's the only work friend you have left. (Image from 20th Century Fox's Office Space).

1. Talk about the times you almost died

You don't realize it, but you've got the 1000-yard stare going so hard when you try to paint the picture of your near-death experiences. It freaks the civilians out.

Save it for group — or drinks with that other veteran.

We all have, Jack. (Image from Cartoon Networks' Samurai Jack).

Military Life

Female veterans pose on same ship that carried WW2 troops

Award-winning nonprofit Pin-Ups for Vets is releasing its 13th annual fundraising calendar to raise money for VA hospitals; ill, injured, and homeless veterans; deployed troops; and military families. The 2019 calendar, photographed on the iconic Queen Mary in Long Beach, CA, features 19 female veterans decked out in World War II inspired fashion.

"Fans of Art Deco will appreciate the look of the upcoming calendar that reflects the vintage glamour of this 1936 cruise liner, now permanently docked in Long Beach, CA as a floating hotel," said Pin-Ups For Vets Founder, Gina Elise, who established Pin-Ups For Vets in 2006, as a way to honor the WWII service of her grandfather.

Gina Elise, Founder

Gina has devoted her life to giving back to the military community. To date, Pin-Ups For Vets has donated over $58,000 to help hospitals purchase new therapy equipment and to provide financial assistance for Veterans' healthcare program expansion across the United States.

The 2019 calendar is officially ready for pre-order at www.PinUpsForVets.com. All 2019 Pin-Ups for Vets calendar pictures were taken by Shane Karns Photography — and let me just tell you...he really nailed it.


Kirstie Ennis, U.S. Marine Corps veteran

From a linguist, to a Human Intelligence Collector, to a combat photographer, to a combat medic, to a motor transportation operator, to a heavy equipment transporter driver leading convoys in Iraq, to a helicopter door gunner in Afghanistan, these ladies also include an above-the-knee amputee veteran (Marine Corps veteran Kirstie Ennis — who, by the way, at the time of this publishing was climbing Mount Denali in support of Service to Summit to raise money for Building Homes for Heroes, a nonprofit organization that builds or modifies homes and gives them to veterans in need).

Julie Noyes, Army veteran

Army veteran Julie Noyes says, "It can be so difficult as a female service member to feel empowered in her beauty without feeling like she may betray the professionalism of her uniform when we only seek to be treated like our male counterparts. I feel that Pin-Ups for Vets does a superb job at raising money and awareness for our elderly, wounded vets and our currently deployed troops while also showcasing the class and beauty of female veterans without objectifying them. What Pin-Ups Vets Founder Gina Elise has done with this publication and non-profit is nothing short of empowering and inspiring."

Naumika Kumar, Navy Veteran

"I will always be thankful to the Navy. I met my husband in the Navy who is also a veteran now and I graduated from National University with Master's Degree in 2012 as well. I am happy to see there are organization such as Pin-Ups For Vets who are doing so much to support the military and Veterans. I am happy that I got an opportunity to be part of the organization."

Patti Gomez, Army veteran

Patti is a veteran of the United States Army, where she proudly served in the New York Army National Guard as a 35M (Human Intelligence Collector) of the 42nd Infantry Division, located in Glenville, New York. She volunteered to attend JRTC in Fort Polk, Louisiana, alongside the 27th Infantry Brigade Combat Team in July 2016. She also trained at Warfighter at Fort Indiantown Gap, Pennsylvania, with her unit in October 2017. Patti attended Basic Combat Training at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, and attended Advanced Individual Training at the United States Army Intelligence Center of Excellence in Fort Huachuca, Arizona.

"Pin-Ups for Vets is an incredible organization with an important mission. Being a part of a nonprofit that helps veterans and empowers women at the same time is truly an honor and one that I couldn't pass up when I was asked to be a part of the 2019 calendar. As the reigning Mrs. New York America, my platform is veteran organizations — and Pin-Ups for Vets is truly among the best of them!"

Check out that cover image!

The 2019 calendar can be purchased at: www.PinUpsForVets.com or by check to: Pin-Ups For Vets, PO Box 33, Claremont, CA 91711.

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