10 reasons all troops should have a pet - We Are The Mighty
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10 reasons all troops should have a pet

Friends and family will always miss us while we’re deployed, but no one will miss us more than our pets.


The folks back home can write letters, make care packages, and even hop on a video call if they miss their troops, but pets, on the other hand, just have to wait for moments like these:

10. Try not to cry when they’re crying with joy as you step through that door.

(AReynolds007 | YouTube)

9. Doesn’t matter how big they are, they’re always our little puppies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G80oSZ–QU

(Homecoming Heroes | YouTube)

8. Doesn’t matter how old they are, they’re always our little puppies.

(Itschmidt02 | YouTube)

7. Dressing up in your Dress uniform doesn’t matter, but it won’t hurt.

(Poke My Heart | YouTube)

6. Even if you have more than one puppy, the only thing on their mind is who gets to play with you first.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IygISI9VkUQ

(Homecoming Heroes | YouTube)

5. A devil dog needs their own devil dog.

(Kimm Piluk | YouTube)

4. Even without holding a sign, they’ll give the best welcome home at the airport.

(Brent C. | YouTube)

3. It’s not just dogs. Cats even get in on the action.

(Wildlimeyogi | YouTube)

2. Cats may act all tough, but they’re just as big of softies as a puppy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37neD2rgwfs

(Candance Grubbs | YouTube)

1. And they’ll always let you know how much they missed you!

(PajamaDrama | YouTube)

*Bonus* Well, not all of the time…

Yes. We’re tracking that this one is openly a parody video using actors who aren’t in the military. It’s still funny, though, because, well, they’re still cats.

(YouTube, Kate Sidley)

 

Two of the greatest things ever are pets and returning veterans. No matter what your personal outlook on life is, nothing pulls at heartstrings like when the two meet. If you have any photos or videos of returning home to your pet, or even if you want to show off your furry best friend, please share them in comment section!

Articles

7 reasons the ‘Carl Gustav’ is an infantryman’s best friend

The infantry is loaded down with all sorts of weapons and gear, some of it loved and some of it absolutely hated for being unnecessary weight. But while the Carl Gustav recoilless rifle weighs nearly 20 pounds and each round is almost 10 more, the infantry still loves the darned thing.


Why? Because it’s lethal, accurate, has long-range, and is reliable. Check it out:

1. The Carl Gustav has a longer range than many American rifles and gives infantrymen the capability of killing enemies at up to 3,000 feet.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Australian soldiers assigned to 5th Battalion, Royal Australian Regiment fire an 84 mm M3 Carl Gustave rocket launcher at Range 10, Pohakuloa Training Area, Hawaii, July 20, 2014, during Rim of the Pacific (RIMPAC) Exercise 2014. (U.S. Marine photo by Sgt. Matthew Callahan/Released)

2. The accuracy of the weapon comes from its rifled barrel, but Gustav rounds fly relatively slowly. Hitting anything mobile at over 1,500 feet requires skilled firing.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Photo: Defense Imagery Management Operations Center

3. Interchangeable weapon sights allow shooters to choose between iron sights, magnified optics, or low-light aiming devices.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
U.S. Paratroopers assigned to 173rd Airborne Brigade fires the M3 Carl Gustav rocket launcher at the 7th Army Training Command’s Grafenwoehr Training Area, Germany, Aug. 18, 2016. (Photo: U.S. Army Visual Information Specialist Gerhard Seuffert)

4. Despite the heft of the nearly 10-pound Gustav rounds, the shooters feel little recoil thanks to a large blast that balances the forces (and creates an awesome fireball).

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
A Marine Special Operations Command member fires a Carl Gustav Recoilless rifle system on a range during training in Washer district, Helmand province, Afghanistan, May 16, 2013. (Photo: U.S. Army Sgt. Benjamin Tuck/Released)

5. Saab-Bofors produces 10 types of ammunition for the weapon — everything from airburst high-explosive rounds to anti-structure munitions that bring down buildings.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
(Photo: U.S. Army Visual Information Specialist Gerhard Seuffert)

6. The Gustav has been manufactured in four major variants, each lighter than the previous. America mainly fields the M3 which weighs 19 pounds.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
United States Army Spc. Craig Loughry, a 24-year-old native of Kent, Ohio, assigned to Dog Company, 1st Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment, 173rd Airborne Brigade, has the unenviable task of carrying his squad’s Carl Gustav M2CG recoilless rifle. (Photo: U.S. Army Sgt. James Avery)

7. The Carl Gustav is relatively simple and easy to use. It’s basically a barrel with grips, weapon sights, and a hinge for loading ammunition. This allows new shooters to quickly train on its use.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Coalition Forces fire a Gustav during a range day at FOB Shank, Afghanistan, on July 26, 2013. The purpose of the range was for the soldiers to practice using their heavy weapons. (U.S. Army photo by Spc. Liam Mulrooney)

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70+ celebrities who were in the military

The many celebrities who were in the military are those who signed up to make the ultimate sacrifice for their countries. Through the years, many famous people have served in the military. While some were drafted, others enlisted voluntarily, and some even joined up multiple times. Many actors from the golden era of Hollywood served during World War II. The Vietnam War was also a popular era for actors who were in the military.


Many famous military veterans went on to have illustrious careers in the entertainment industry. The Good, the Bad and the Uglyactor Clint Eastwood served in the US Army during the Korean War and almost died when he was involved in a plane crash. The plane landed in the ocean near Fort Ord, CA, and Eastwood was able to swim to safety. Some 40 years later, he won his first Oscar for directing Unforgiven. Other prolific actors who have served in the military include Paul Newman, Morgan Freeman, and Chuck Norris.

Some surprising celebs also served in the military, including musicians and rocks stars. Grateful Dead guitarist Jerry Garcia joined the US Army, but left the military 9 months later to study at the Art Institute of San Francisco. Other surprising military men include Tool front man Maynard James Keenan, comedian Drew Carey, and rapper Ice-T.

Do you think that serving in the military gave these famous people the discipline they needed to succeed in their careers? Share your thoughts in the comments section.

70+ Celebrities Who Were in the Military

More from Ranker:

This article originally appeared at Ranker. Copyright 2015. Like Ranker on Facebook.

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10 military spouses who made a difference

Beside most members of the military is a spouse who keeps life going while a husband or wife serves.

While every military family serves their country with pride, some military spouses go above and beyond to help their communities.

Meet 10 inspiring military spouses are making a difference:


Taya Kyle

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
(U.S. Army National Guard photo by Maj. Scott Hawks)

Taya Kyle, the widow of Navy SEAL and most lethal sniper in US history Chris Kyle, has been an advocate since her husband was killed in 2013.

In 2014, she started the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation with the goal of connecting military families and veterans, and providing interactive experiences to enrich family relationships.

Kyle and her husband’s story became the subject of the Academy Award-nominated film “American Sniper”.

Tiffany Smiley

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
(Scotty Smiley)

Tiffany Smiley’s husband, Army Major Scott Smiley, served in Iraq for six months until a car bomb in Mosul sent shrapnel into his eyes that would leave him blind for the rest of his life.

As an advocate for the power of military spouses, Tiffany speaks around the country to raise awareness about issues surrounding military members and their spouses.

In 2010, Tiffany and her husband published a book, “Hope Unseen,” based on their experiences as a military family. She has met with Ivanka Trump to push for legislation supporting military families and spoke at a bank-run event about how and why companies should recruit veterans.

Krystel Spell

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
(StreetShares)

As the wife of an enlisted member of the Army, Kyrstel Spell had always wanted to share her experiences as a military spouse with others. Now, she has become a popular voice in the military blogging world.

Spell launched three sites: Army Wife 101, to cover military lifestyle, travel, and parenting; Retail Salute, to gather military discounts in one place; and SoFluential, to connect influencers from military families with businesses looking to hire them.

Amanda Crowe

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
(U.S. Chamber of Commerce Foundation)

Amanda Patterson Crowe is a senior manager for the Hiring Our Heroes Military Spouse Programand a director of the Military Spouse Professional Network for Hiring Our Heroes, a program funded by the US Chamber of Commerce Foundation.

Crowe manages more than 40 chapters focused on career development and networking opportunities for military spouses in communities around the world. She also runs AMPLIFY, two-day career events for military spouses.

Stephanie Brown

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
(The Rosie Network)

Stephanie Brown is the wife of retired Navy Admiral R. Thomas L. Brown, who was a SEAL.

Brown, who has spent over 20 years supporting military families, veterans, and wounded warriors, started The Rosie Network when she was trying to find a contractor to repair her family’s home.

Brown wanted to hire a veteran, but was having trouble finding one on existing search sites, so she decided to create a database for the public to access businesses owned by military families. And The Rosie Network doesn’t charge the businesses a fee.

Leigh Searl

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
(NextGen MilSpouse)

In 15 years as a military spouse, Leigh Searl moved 11 times. Each time, she had to reinvent herself and find new jobs along the way.

So she created America’s Career Force, a program to help military spouses find long-term career opportunities that they can work remotely. That way, they can keep their jobs no matter where the location may be — as long as they have access to a phone and internet.

Sue Hoppin

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
(National Military Spouse Network)

Sue Hoppin is the military spouse of an Air Force officer and who has dedicated her career to advocating for military families.

She started the National Military Spouse Network after spending much of her life volunteering in the military community instead of establishing her own career. The site provides military spouses with networking opportunities.

Hoppin’s work has led her to become a consultant on military family issues, and she even authored a “for Dummies” book on “A Family’s Guide to the Military.”

Amy Crispino

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
(StreetShares)

Amy Crispino, a member of an Army family, is the co-owner of Chameleon Kids and managing director of Military Kids’ Life Magazine.

The magazine, which kids write half of the articles for, aims to help military children see past the challenges of growing up in a military family to focus on the bright side.

Elizabeth Boardman

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
(Milspo Project)

As the spouse of a Naval officer, Elizabeth Boardman believed that the best way to further her career was by starting her own business, the Milspo Project.

The organization provides networking resources for military spouse entrepreneurs to help them build their own businesses, and connect with other professionals.

Some of the resources includemonthly member meet-ups and online workshops.

Krista Wells

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
(Wells Consulting Services, LLC)

Marine Corps spouse Krista Wells has put her skills as a life consultant and career coach to work helping out other military families.

She launched Wells Consulting Services to specifically help military spouses who struggle with the challenges of constantly moving and establishing a career.

As a military spouse coach, Wells also created The Military Spouse Show podcast to help fellow spouses overcome the obstacles of being in a military family.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

Lists

The 21 most authoritarian regimes in the world

The Economist Intelligence Unit has released its latest Democracy Index, which ranks 167 countries according to political and civic freedom.


Countries are given a score out of 10 based on five criteria. Above eight is a “full democracy,” while below four is an “authoritarian regime.”

Scandinavian countries topped the list and the U.S. remained a “flawed democracy” in this index.

The study has five criteria: Whether elections are free and fair (“electoral process and pluralism”), whether governments have checks and balances (“functioning of government”), whether citizens are included in politics (“political participation”), the level of support for the government (“political culture”), and whether people have freedom of expression (“civil liberties”).

Below are the world’s most authoritarian regimes:

21. United Arab Emirates — 2.69/10

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Skyline of Downtown Dubai with Burj Khalifa from a Helicopter. (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.00

Functioning of government: 3.57

Political participation: 2.22

Political culture: 5.00

Civil liberties: 2.65

20. Azerbaijan — 2.65

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Members of the Azerbaijani Special Forces during a military parade in Baku 2011 (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.50

Functioning of government: 2.14

Political participation: 3.33

Political culture: 3.75

Civil liberties: 3.53

19. Afghanistan — 2.55

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Marines from 3rd battalion 5th Marines on patrol in Sangin, Afghanistan. (Image JM Foley)

Electoral process and pluralism: 2.50

Functioning of government: 1.14

Political participation: 2.78

Political culture: 2.50

Civil liberties: 3.82

18. Iran — 2.45

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
The northern Tehran skyline. (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.00

Functioning of government: 3.21

Political participation: 4.44

Political culture: 3.13

Civil liberties: 1.47

17. Eritrea — 2.37

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Saho women in traditional attire (Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.00

Functioning of government: 2.14

Political participation: 1.67

Political culture: 6.88

Civil liberties: 1.18

16. Laos — 2.37

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Host of dancers for Laos New Years celebration. (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.83

Functioning of government: 2.86

Political participation: 1.67

Political culture: 5.00

Civil liberties: 1.47

15. Burundi — 2.33

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Tutsi soldiers and gendarmes guarding the road to Cibitoke on the border with Zaire. (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.00

Functioning of government: 0.43

Political participation: 3.89

Political culture: 5.00

Civil liberties: 2.35

14. Libya — 2.32

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Children in Dublin, Ireland, protesting Libya’s then president, Gaddafi, before his overthrow. (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 1.00

Functioning of government: 0.36

Political participation: 1.67

Political culture: 5.63

Civil liberties: 2.94

13. Sudan — 2.15

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Sudanese rebels in Darfur. Both the government and the rebels have been accused of atrocities. (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.00

Functioning of government: 1.79

Political participation: 2.78

Political culture: 5.00

Civil liberties: 1.18

12. Yemen — 2.07

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Soldiers in Yemen. (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.00

Functioning of government: 0.00

Political participation: 4.44

Political culture: 5.00

Civil liberties: 0.88

11. Guinea-Bissau — 1.98

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
An abandoned tank from the 1998–1999 civil war in the capital Bissau (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 1.67

Functioning of government: 0.00

Political participation: 2.78

Political culture: 3.13

Civil liberties: 2.35

10. Uzbekistan — 1.95

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Uzbek children. (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.08

Functioning of government: 1.86

Political participation: 2.22

Political culture: 5.00

Civil liberties: 0.59

9. Saudi Arabia — 1.93

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
President Donald Trump speaks with Mohammed bin Salman, Deputy Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, during their meeting Tuesday, March 14, 2017, in the Oval Office of the White House in Washington, D.C. (Official White House Photo by Shealah Craighead)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.00

Functioning of government: 2.86

Political participation: 2.22

Political culture: 3.13

Civil liberties: 1.47

8. Tajikistan — 1.93

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Shanty neighborhoods just outside of Dushanbe, Tajikistan. (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.08

Functioning of government: 0.79

Political participation: 1.67

Political culture: 6.25

Civil liberties: 0.88

7. Equatorial Guinea — 1.81

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
The city of Malabo in Equatorial Guinea. (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.00

Functioning of government: 0.43

Political participation: 2.78

Political culture: 4.38

Civil liberties: 1.47

6. Turkmenistan — 1.72

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Celebrating the 20th year of independence in Turkmenistan (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.00

Functioning of government: 0.79

Political participation: 2.22

Political culture: 5.00

Civil liberties: 0.59

5. Democratic Republic of Congo — 1.61

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Refugees in the Congo (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.50

Functioning of government: 0.71

Political participation: 2.22

Political culture: 3.75

Civil liberties: 0.88

4. Central African Republic — 1.52

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Refugees of the fighting in the Central African Republic observe Rwandan soldiers being dropped off at Bangui M’Poko International Airport in the Central African Republic. (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 2.25

Functioning of government: 0.00

Political participation: 1.11

Political culture: 1.88

Civil liberties: 2.35

3. Chad — 1.50

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
A tribal delegation in Chad. (Image Wikipedia)

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.00

Functioning of government: 0.00

Political participation: 1.11

Political culture: 3.75

Civil liberties: 2.65

2. Syria — 1.43

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
A Syrian soldier aims an assault rifle from his position in a foxhole during a firepower demonstration.

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.00

Functioning of government: 0.00

Political participation: 2.78

Political culture: 4.38

Civil liberties: 0.00

1. North Korea —1.08

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
A defector from North Korea dodges bullets as he crosses the DMZ.

Electoral process and pluralism: 0.00

Functioning of government: 2.50

Political participation: 1.67

Political culture: 1.25

Civil liberties: 0.00

Articles

The 13 funniest military memes this week – battle buddy edition

This week’s meme roundup is dedicated to the friends you go to war with: Your battle buddies. These friends would do anything for you, even take a bullet, or in the case of Medal of Honor recipient Kyle Carpenter, jump on a grenade. The bond between battle buddies is second to none, and most people will never experience friendship on this level. Although it’s difficult to capture the bromance in 13 memes, here’s our attempt:


1. Battle buddies depend on each other.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

When the leadership fails, your buddy won’t.

2. Battle buddies aren’t always human.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

Man’s best friend is just as dedicated.

3. War is intense, so jokes and pranks are also elevated to the same level.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

This is their version of “kick me.”

4. You get in trouble together.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

No worries, it’s a just a mouth lashing.

5. You find creative ways to entertain each other.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

This would make a great, “shut the fu– up Carl” meme.

6. Their idea of going to the movies is a little different.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

Their camaraderie makes up for the lack of screen size.

7. They fight together, they watch movies together, and they also drink together …

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

… because sometimes you need someone to stagger home with.

8. Buddies look after each other, they don’t report each other.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

Seriously, how do those dixie cup hats stay on?!

9. They settle things differently.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

The quickest way to getting over a disagreement. (from Military Memes Facebook fan page)

10. Your pain is the butt of their jokes.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

They brandish bumps and scars like badges of honor, but more importantly, to show you how much tougher they are.

11. Despite all the shenanigans, buddies will always have your back.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

They’ll follow each other to the gates of hell. (from Military Memes Facebook fan page)

12. They’ll look after each other like their life depends on it.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
There’s no worse feeling than the feeling of letting your buddy down.

13. Battle buddies forever.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

Battle buddies keep their promises. If they said they’ll be there, they’ll be there.

NOW: 10 tips for dating on a forward operating base

AND: 9 Military terms that will make you sound crazy around civilians

OR WATCH: 13 Signs you’re in the infantry:

Lists

10 reasons why active duty troops should work in the office

The worst thing you can do to a Marine is hand them some paperwork. However, all troops should have some office experience while on active duty because the exposure will give you some background for the civilian world. Whether you’re an E-3 with a four-year contract or a senior officer with 20+ years of service, we all get out. You can’t stop time.

1. Civilian jargon on your resume is a good thing

When you work in an office setting on active duty there is a high chance you will also work with civilians. They do not play by the same rules as us. They cannot be yelled at nor reprimanded in the same way. You must conduct yourself as a professional. Learning the social skills to interact with civilian counterparts and the technical computer skills looks good on your resume. They can even help you to civilianize your job description.

Instead of, ‘I just typed everyone’s Physical Fitness Test score into the system,’ try, ‘I employed data entry techniques to ensure leaders had up to date information on the status of the company’s readiness.’

The more time you spend in an office you’ll notice jargon that is interchangeable with our own. Another example is chain of command, in civilian it’s called upline.

2. Your uniforms will last longer

Self-explanatory, it’s raining and you’re not training.

3. Attaining a security clearance is good for government jobs later

Working in an office setting in the military will often require a security clearance due to the sensitive personal identifiable information one must handle. The more sensitive information you handle, the higher your security clearance must be. If you want to work for the government or a private military company after your service this will make you very competitive for employment.

soldier on active duty in an office
Office work isn’t glamorous, but it looks good on a resume.

4. Communication on deployment is easier

When you’re part of the headquarters element you have access to all the perks the leadership has in terms of communication back home. You’re their right hand and although the top brass puts on a tough persona in front of the masses, your happiness is important to them. Don’t tell anyone though or you’re going back in the fighting hole.

5. After spending some time in the office, you have more control over your career

Riding a desk can also demystify the road to a better career. A troop wants to stay in and has his eye on becoming a master gunnery sergeant one day is in the best place to learn how. When I was in operations I had a captain who was prior enlisted, so if I wanted to go that route — I could. I knew warrant officers and troops in other fields in the adjoining offices. If wanted to change my job completely at reenlistment, I could ask what it was like to work there. I would just waltz in when no one was busy and just ask any question I wanted. The career planner was down the hallway. We were in constant communication because I was the scheduling NCO. I was also the gate keeper to our major – who was also in charge of approving my leave. If a troop is going to reenlist, office work will give you the connections you need to thrive.

6. Your pros and cons are much more favorable

They’re going to give you much better marks to help you get promoted. ‘The corporal who saves me from losing face, keeps everything organized and helps me avoid people I don’t want to talk to needs my help getting promoted? Say no more.’

7. You know the real word

You will be in a lot of meetings. I’m sorry. The bright side? You will know word as it was given by the colonel. It’s super satisfying to correct someone who thinks they know everything and you hit them with: ‘ I was there, I made the powerpoint and I made the reservation for the training area. We’re not shooting javelins, idiot.’

soldiers on active duty at a meeting

8. Free office coffee!

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

Yay!

9. In the office, you get to see the big picture

When I went from a line company to the battalion HQ, I was able to see how everything connected. ‘Oh, we have our own trucks, like, they belong to the battalion they just don’t come out of the nether?’ or ‘We have cooks attached to us?’ or my favorite: ‘Where the hell is the armorer to issue us our weapons?’ and you straight up call the fool because he lives two doors down from you at the HQ barracks. ‘Oi, dafuq, meng?’

Seriously though, its pretty cool to see how every military occupational specialty works hand in hand with each other and to be an influencing cog in the machine.

10. You can skate out of BS

‘Nope, sorry I can’t do that. The major sent me to regiment,’ knowing full well he’s playing golf. ‘Phones aren’t allowed, sorry OPSEC, no one will be able to reach me.’ Poof.

One of my favorite confessions: One time, we were planning Fleet Week in New York City and one of the events was the Men In Black III movie red carpet premiere with an after party on the USS Intrepid. Open bar with the Hollywood elites and everything. We could only place two names from each company to go. Oops. How did my name get on here?

Yes, Will Smith was there and he sang the Fresh Prince theme song. No regrets.

Lists

8 pickup lines every Marine should know by heart

Every night, single Marines of all ages and sizes travel to their local social spots to talk to prospective mates in the hopes of scoring a phone number or two.


If you do muster the courage to walk up to someone only to forget how to speak correct English, just remember one of these epic pickup lines.

Then, thank us later.

Related: 26 best Navy SEAL porn names and movie titles

Check out eight pickup lines every Marine should know by heart. Use these valuable lines for good and never for evil.

8. “Hey honey, are you a five-paragraph order? Because I wanna SMEAC that behind with my fireproof glove.”

Then, they’ll probably break down what a “five-paragraph order” is composed of like a true Devil Dog.

7. “Hey cutie, you can hang out in my foxhole anytime.”

Since digging a foxhole takes a lot of time, this is actually a sweet gesture.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Probably took these grunts a while to dig this one.

6. “If you want, later I can show you how we ‘flank the rear’ in the infantry.”

It’s not as hard as you would think.

5. “I’ve been a Marine aviator for years, would you care to see my ‘vertical lift-off?'”

We know that’s possible, especially in a harrier — wait! We get it now.

4. “Do you want me to show you the difference between a rifle and a gun?”

One’s for fighting, and one’s for fun.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

3. “Did you ever serve in the Marines? Because you’re hotter than an M240 barrel on a full cyclic.”

If they know what an “M240” is or what “cyclic” really means, you should marry them right away.

2. “I hope your parents are JAG officers because it’s illegal to look that good.”

Probably our favorite in the cheesy category.

Also Read: 6 signs she is more in love with your contract than you

1. “Would you like to see how to break down my rifle, shotgun style?”

Note: Breaking down a rifle like a “shotgun” means your exposing your rifle’s internal components.

Bonus: “Hey girl, are you a flashbang? Because you’re stunning.”

This one’s actually not so bad…

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

Articles

The 13 funniest military memes of the week

Back to standard two-day weekends. Oh well. At least Independence Day weekend was fun while it lasted.


1. Really, really fun (via Sh*t My LPO Says).

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Hopefully, this guy wasn’t in your unit.

2. If you want logistics join the Army (via Terminal Lance)

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
If you want robots, join DARPA.

SEE ALSO: 5 insane military projects that almost happened

3. Your medicine will be ready when it’s ready … (via Sh*t My LPO Says)

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
… which will be sometime next Thursday.

4. Congratulations on your contract (via Sh*t My LPO Says).

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
It’s a bummer when your family celebrates that they’ll only see you half the time for the next few years.

5. Budget cuts are taking a toll (via Air Force Memes and Humor)

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
But at least everyone’s spirits are up.

6. Profiles, chits, doctors’ notes, it’s all shamming.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Not sure which service lets you spend your light duty drinking beer in a recliner though. Pretty good reenlistment incentive.

7. You know that even Unsolved Mysteries couldn’t answer that question, right? (via Team Non-Rec)

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Warrant Officer’s are like reflective belts. The brass insist they work and everyone else just goes along with it.

8. I want to see these three guys shark attack some young private (via Sh*t My LPO Says).

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
It’s always great when lieutenants explain the military to senior enlisted.

9. It gets real out there (via Team Non-Rec)

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
I mean, they don’t even have napkins for their pizza.

10. Patriotic duty

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Say your pledges, protect America, see peace in our time.

11. They specialize in anti-oxidation operations and haze grey proliferation.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
That’s a fancy way of saying they scrape rust and spread paint.

12. Never forget (via Air Force Memes and Humor)

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Clearly, this man behind the stick of an F/A-18 is a good idea.

13. You want their attention? Better have some Oakleys and cigarettes that “fell off a truck.”

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
This is also what the E4 promotion board looks like.

NOW: The 6 most shocking military impostors ever

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Lists

7 things people use every day that originated in the military

The military is responsible for a huge amount of consumer goods and technology that people are using every day. Here are seven examples:


1. Duct tape

The grey tape that can “fix” just about any problem was originally designed for the U.S. military during World War II. While also manufacturing camouflage material, gas masks, and other products for the military, Johnson Johnson was asked to make a waterproof tape for ammunition cases, according to Kilmer House.

Originally called “duck tape,” it “saved valuable time in manufacturing and packaging war materials. A wide variety of tapes to serve a multitude of particular purposes were made for the aviation industry alone,” read the company’s 1945 annual report.

Soldiers quickly figured out duct tape could be used for more than sealing ammo boxes, and they used it to make temporary repairs to jeeps, planes, tents, boots, their uniforms, and everything in between. Troops still use the tape today, as do the rest of us.

 

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Not the intended use (Photo: Youtube)

2. Microwave ovens

You can thank the defense contractor Raytheon for giving you the ability to heat up that leftover pizza in under a minute. While working at the company on radar technology in 1945, Percy Spencer accidentally discovered an active radar set had melted the candy bar in his pocket. He and his colleagues were intrigued, and decided to conduct some more tests.

From Today I Found Out:

The first one they heated intentionally was popcorn kernels, which became the world’s first microwaved popcorn.  Spencer then decided to try to heat an egg.  He got a kettle and cut a hole in the side, then put the whole egg in the kettle and positioned the magnetron to direct the microwaves into the hole.  The result was that the egg exploding in the face of one of his co-workers, who was looking in the kettle as the egg exploded.

Raytheon still holds the patent, with Percy credited as the inventor. The first commercially-produced microwave was a 6-foot-tall, 7000lb monstrosity that cost $5000. But around 1967, a smaller unit at a more affordable $495 finally hit the market, according to Today I Found Out.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

3. Global positioning systems (GPS)

Google Maps may be one the best ways to navigate anywhere, but it owes the Pentagon credit for doing much of the legwork. Amid Cold War tensions with the Soviet Union after it launched Sputnik in 1957, U.S. researchers figured out that radio signals emitted by the satellite increased as it approached and decreased when it moved away, according to TechHive.

TechHive has more:

This gave the scientists a grand idea. Satellites could be tracked from the ground by measuring the frequency of the radio signals they emitted, and conversely, the locations of receivers on the ground could be tracked by their distance from the satellites. That, in a nutshell, is the conceptual foundation of modern GPS. That GPS receiver in your phone or on the dash of your car learns its location, rate of speed, and elevation by measuring the time it takes to receive radio signals from four or more satellites floating overhead.

This discovery became the basis for the military’s system of five satellites, called Transit, launched in 1960. It stayed exclusively a defense technology until 1983, when the Reagan administration opened GPS up for civilian application, according to Mio.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

4. Disposable-blade safety razors

Razors for shaving have been around for centuries, but the safety razor with disposable blades still enjoys widespread popularity due to the U.S. military’s adoption during World War I.

Before the 20th century, men usually had barbers trim their beards and mustaches. If they did shave at home it was with a straight razor, which needed to be sharpened often. In 1901, King C. Gillette changed that, with the invention of the safety razor — which took a disposable version of the straight edge razor and clamped it onto a handle. The military soon took notice.

From About.com:

Production of the Gillette ® safety razor and blade began as the Gillette Safety Razor Company started operations in South Boston. Sales grew steadily. During World War I, the U.S. Government issued Gillette safety razors to the entire armed forces. By the end of the war, some 3.5 million razors and 32 million blades were put into military hands, thereby converting an entire nation to the Gillette safety razor.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

5. Computers

While the original computer was not even as powerful as today’s basic calculators, it was originally designed to compute artillery firing tables for the U.S. Army. Called ENIAC, or Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer, the new device replaced humans who were physically operating desk calculators, according to Army historian William Moye.

The massive machine took up an entire room at the Army’s Ballistic Research Laboratory when it was unveiled after World War II on Feb. 14, 1946. One of its first projects was to test the feasibility of the hydrogen bomb.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

 

6. The internet

The world’s largest repository of cat videos came from a military research project that used packet-switching to allow computers to talk to each other. The first version of the internet deployed in 1969, called the Advanced Research Projects Agency Network (ARPANET), was made up of just four computers, with one each located at Stanford University, University of Utah, UCLA, and UC-Santa Barbara.

From About.com:

Designed as a computer version of the nuclear bomb shelter, ARPAnet protected the flow of information between military installations by creating a network of geographically separated computers that could exchange information via a newly developed protocol (rule for how computers interact) called NCP (Network Control Protocol).

The first internet service provider emerged in 1974, but the internet would not see widespread use until the invention of hypertext-markup language (HTML) and the world wide web were unveiled in the early 1990s.

 

7. Freeze drying

The ability to keep food preserved for years came from a military effort to keep medical supplies useful after they were transported overseas during World War II. In freeze-drying, food is quickly frozen, then dried slowly to remove the frozen moisture.

The Ready-Store has more:

The freeze-drying process really took off during WWII as a way to transport serums and other medical supplies. Doctors found that medicines that required refrigeration were spoiling by the time they were transported to other parts of the world. The freeze-dried process was invented and allowed for materials to retain their chemical properties and drastically increasing the shelf-life.

Freeze-drying has been used for food and pharmaceuticals. But perhaps most importantly, astronauts use it to have a nice snack in space.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

 

NOW: 9 Military terms that will make you sound crazy around civilians

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Lists

6 of the most outrageous WWIII video games, ranked

Predicting the future through popular fiction is always a headache. One specific (and inevitable) war, however, has been the setting for many works of exploratory fiction. Everyone has come up with their own unique twist on how the World War Trilogy is going to end because global audiences demand an over-the-top-ending to their trilogies.


Video games set in a fictional World War III span the range of plausibility and, accordingly, audience reception. Early games, like 1981’s Missile Command, were simple enough as to not raise eyebrows and breathtaking, modern games, like Battlefield 4 and Arma 3take a more down-to-earth approach.

But then there are the absolutely ridiculous games that hinge on insane premises, like that the next World War will involve us fighting our would-be robot overlords by the distant year 2010.

6. Terminator: Salvation (2009)

Yes, we were not-so-subtly pointing at this game. To the Terminator franchise’s credit, they were pretty optimistic about how advanced future technology would be back when the series kicked off in 1984.

But when this game references its own timeline as being “13 years after Judgement Day,” which, according to the films, was on Aug. 29, 1997, they effectively put all of one year between the game’s release and the over-the-top, dystopian futurescape… there’s just no excuse for that silliness.

We could forgive the game’s plot if it wasn’t so bad… even by 2009 standards.

5. Chromehounds (2006)

Like some of the other games on this list, alternate history is used to explain away inconsistencies. Chromehounds is a giant robot simulator that pits three fictional nations against each other that are totally not based on America, the USSR, and the Middle East.

You could customize your mech and choose a nation to fight under in real time against other players. The game was enjoyable while it lasted, but the servers shut down in 2010.

The world needs more customizable mech simulators.

4. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 (2011)

Compared to many of the other first-person shooters set in WWIII, Call of Duty: MW3 upped the ante. Sure, the story follows many of the standard tropes for WWIII — some Russian guy is evil, Europe gets invaded again, and *gasp* nuclear war is threatened.

What made 2011’s installment of Call of Duty so spectacular was that, during the single-player campaign, you got to live out all the action in various roles throughout the world. You play as several characters, all with unique backstories, while you hunt down the big bad.

The ending is just so, so satisfying.

3. Homefront: The Revolution (2016)

Based off the premise that North Korea takes over the world, this game is set in an alternate history where the hermit kingdom’s tech industry isn’t as laughable as it is in our timeline. The game places you in a Red Dawn-esque world where you need to start an underground resistance against Communist invaders.

The game wasn’t without faults — mainly in the narrative and character-development departments — but immersive open-world gameplay, complete weapon customization, and a level of difficulty that made you think through every action made the game stand out.

Wolverines!!!

2. Raid Over Moscow (1984)

Cold War-era games about the Cold War were the best. Originally released on the Commodore 64, Raid Over Moscow‘s story begins when three Soviet nukes launch and you’re the only space-pilot able to stop it. You fight your way through to the Kremlin (which, apparently, was the missile silo for all of the USSR’s nukes) before blowing it up. The most unbelievable thing about this game is that it goes out of its way to explain that America can’t just nuke them back because all US nukes were dismantled.

At the time, the game was fairly controversial. European nations were uneasy about selling a game that directly portrayed the destruction of the Kremlin. Unfortunately for them, the controversy only made European citizens want the game more.

Ahh, the good ol’ days when people feared 8-bit graphics could start an international incident.

1. Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2 (2001)

No WWIII game comes close to offering the same level of enjoyment and ridiculousness as Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2. To cut a very long and very confusing story short, Albert Einstein creates a time machine to kill a young Hitler. This leads the Soviets to grow unchecked and, in their liberty, research mind-control technology. And that’s just the first game.

This time around, you need to fight a psychic Rasputin stand-in — or you could choose to play as the Soviets. This game and its expansion pack, Yuri’s Revenge, are considered classics. You’ll need to play through it to understand, really.

The silly live-action cutscenes just make the game that much more hilarious.

Articles

5 ways Russia’s military is literally falling apart

Russia has been saber-rattling so hard that cracks are forming in the blade and the hilt seems to be falling off. The military has been embarrassed by a number of of high profile failures and missteps in the past few years.


To be clear, the Russians aren’t helpless and certain units are deadly. They have a large nuclear arsenal, some of the world’s quietest submarines, and an impressive new tank. But here are six reasons Russian military planners can’t be sleeping easy.

1. Their planes keep falling out of the air.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
The MiG-29 in flight. Photo: US Air Force Staff Sgt. Kevin L. Bishop

An Su-24M tactical bomber and a Tu-95 strategic bomber crashed in separate incidents in July, two MiG-29 fighters crashed in June as did an Su-34 strike fighter. In total, these crashes cost the lives of four Russian service members and resulted in the groundings of the Tu-95 and MiG-29 fleets.

Meanwhile, the replacements for the aging fighters keep getting cut back due to funding problems, a theme which will recur in this list. Also, Russia claims that it is building new Tu-160 bombers and developing a brand new bomber, but industry experts think it is frankly not feasible for the Russians to find the required high-skill workers or money to do everything at once.

2. Their only aircraft carrier needs a tug boat escort and can’t launch fully-armed planes.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Photo: Mil.ru

The Russians have one carrier, the Admiral Kuznetsov. The ship was launched in 1985 and began active duty in the fleet in 1991. In 24 years, it has served only four frontline deployments. It requires tugs to accompany it in deepwater in case it breaks down at sea and needs to be refueled every 45 days. The crew has trouble completing the refueling missions however, sometimes spilling the fuel across the ocean instead.

Meanwhile, even when everything is working to plan, the Kuznetsov has troubles. It isn’t a proper carrier and launches aircraft from a bow ramp rather than catapults, limiting her jets to low takeoff weights with limited fuel and ammunition. Plumbing problems in the ship limit the number of functioning latrines to 25 for her full crew of nearly 2,000. In 2011, U.S. Navy ships trailed the Kuznetsov to her home port to rescue the Russians if the ship sank.

Russia is planning a larger, more robust new carrier but it would still rely on ramps for two of its four launching positions, would require refueling every 120 days, wouldn’t have many ports it could be parked in, and may be too expensive and complex for Russia to actually complete.

3. They rely on conscripts and soldiers forced into contracts.

10 reasons all troops should have a pet
Photo: US Air Force

Russian Gen. Mikhail Mizintsev, then-head of the National Center for Defense, bragged in 2014 that “two army brigades, 12 special forces units and five battalions of airborne troops and marines were manned entirely with contract servicemen,” according to RT, a Russian media outlet. But, that’s the first time the Russian military has had more contract soldiers than volunteers in its history. And, first-term contract soldiers aren’t “volunteers” the way they are in America.

In America, all service members are volunteers who don’t have to serve in the military unless a draft is ordered. In Russia, males between the age of 18-27 must serve in the military, either one year as a conscript or two as a “volunteer.”

4. Even their domestic displays of power keep going wrong.

In July, a Russian Navy Day celebration saw a missile frigate fire at a target only for the missile to fail, spinning through the air and breaking apart meters from the ship, a display of an anti-aircraft missile failed in April when the missile fell back to the ground, and one of Russia’s premier new tanks broke down during a rehearsal for the country’s Victory Day Parade.

Tragically, a helicopter also crashed during an air show Aug. 3, killing one of the pilots.

5. Their funding situation is bad and getting worse.

While Russia continues to spend heavily on defense, the upgrades will eventually be limited by what the rest of the economy can bear.

Russia, crippled by sanctions, falling oil prices, and a weakening currency, has been forced to cut their purchase plans for fighters and new tanks. Some Russian contractors have attempted to sell the nation new helicopter carriers after a deal with France fell through, but there are reports that Russia can’t afford new ships anyway. Meanwhile, Russia’s largest economic ally, China, has questionable loyalty to Moscow.

NOW: See how Russia’s all-female paratrooper battalion trains for war

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Articles

The 16 greatest quotes from ‘Full Metal Jacket’

Some movies are more quotable than others, and Stanley Kubrick’s classic “Full Metal Jacket” certainly fits that bill.

A few years ago, we compiled its list of the 32 best military movie quotes of all time, but once we got to “Full Metal Jacket,” we realized it was hard to pick just one, since Gunnery Sgt. Hartman is basically a quote goldmine.


Here are our picks for the 16 best quotes (or series of quotes) from “Full Metal Jacket.”

1. Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “I am Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be ‘Sir.’ Do you maggots understand that?”

2. Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “Bullsh-t. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. I think you’ve been cheated!”

3. Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “I bet you’re the kind of guy that would f-ck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I’ll be watching you.”

4. Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “You goddamn communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I’m gonna stomp your guts out! Now you DO love the Virgin Mary, don’t you?”

5. Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “That’s enough! Get on your feet. Pvt. Pyle you had best square your ass away and start sh-tting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely f-ck you up!”

6. Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy f-cking walrus-looking piece of sh-t! Get the f-ck off of my obstacle! Get the f-ck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Pvt. Pyle, EVEN IF IT SHORT-D-CKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!”

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

7. Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “I’m asking the f-cking questions here, Pvt.! Do you understand?”

Pvt. Cowboy: “Sir, yes, sir.”

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “Well, thank you very much! Can I be in charge for a while?”

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

8. Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece o’ sh-t, Pvt. Pyle, or did you have to work on it?”

9. Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “If it wasn’t for d-ckheads like you, there wouldn’t be any thievery in this world, would there?”

10. Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “Holy Jesus! What is that? What the f-ck is that?! What is that, Pvt. Pyle?!”

Pvt. Pyle: “Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir!”

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “A jelly doughnut?”

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

11. Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “You forget your f-ckin’ name? 0300. Infantry. You made it.”

12. Unnamed Colonel in Vietnam: “Son, all I’ve ever asked of my Marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Viet-namese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It’s a hardball world, son. We’ve just got to keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.”

13. Animal Mother: “You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk?”

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

14. Crazy Earl: “These are great days we’re living, bros. We are jolly green giants, walking the Earth — with guns. These people we wasted here today are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we’re gonna miss not having anyone around that’s worth shooting.”

15. Da Nang Hooker: “Well, baby, me so horny. Me so HORNY. Me love you long time. You party?”

16. Pvt. Joker: “Sir, does this mean that Ann-Margret’s not coming?”

NOW CHECK OUT: The 32 greatest military movie quotes of all time

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