Lists

The 5 dumbest military references in pro wrestling

Professional wrestling is a crazy world of gimmicks, pageantry, and explosions, and only that last one fits in with most people's view of the military. However, wrestling caters to a very patriotic crowd and this, obviously, goes hand-in-hand with the armed services.


Characters supporting America abound. Even if they have the same entrance music.

WWE has honored the United States Military on many occasions, giving back to the troops through multiple charity efforts. Unfortunately, that doesn't make up for these five stupid storylines, which mocked the military far more than they paid tribute.

5. Corporal Kirchner

After future WWE Hall of Famer Sgt. Slaughter left for the AWA in the mid 1980's, WWE hoped to mimic his success by creating a new military character in Corporal Kirchner. The blatant Slaughter knockoff claimed to be a former member of the 82nd Airborne Division and a present member of what they called the "3V Division," standing for vigilance, vengeance, and victory.

"What are they chanting? What's a 'shaving waiver'?"

Kirchner showed up covered in lame camouflage and used the word patriot repeatedly (as if that made him one). The combination of an actual army division with something so patently cartoonish and made-up made a joke of the military instead of paying tribute.

4. Sgt. Craig Pittman and Cobra

WCW used to compete with WWE tooth-and-nail and they had their share of stupid military references as well. WCW's first military gimmick was Sgt. Craig Pittman, an angry drill sergeant-type bad guy, who feuded with Cobra. Cobra was one of Pittman's apparently rankless and nameless fellow soldiers, who Pittman abandoned in the Gulf War before joining the ranks of professional wrestling.

(Monsoon Classic | YouTube)

The two wrestled a quick match at WCW Fall Brawl 1995 and both disappeared shortly thereafter. While the other items on this list may actually offend real servicemen, this one just leaves us scratching our heads and wondering what the point was. The idea of a sergeant abandoning his men at war is too serious of a crime to be tossed off and forgotten.

3. The Misfits in Action

While minor stars, like Sgt. Craig Pittman, appeared on WCW Saturday Night for years, the military appeared as a centerpiece in WCW storylines when Hugh Morrus turned into Hugh G. Rection and formed the "Misfits in Action" along with Booker T, Chavo Guerrero, and a few others.

Still not the worst chain of command I've ever encountered.

The actual military influence of the gimmick was relegated to the M.I.A. wearing fatigues and the wrestlers being renamed with silly, offensive stereotypes (Guerrero became "Lt. Loco," Booker T was "G.I. Bro," and do we need to repeat, "Hugh G. Rection?"). Like many things in WCW, this not only managed to offend the military crowd to whom it was supposed to appeal, but found shocking new ways to offend people completely unconnected to it in any way.

2. The Steiner-Nowinski Iraq War debate

The War in Iraq has always been highly controversial — especially closer to its inception. A very popular notion in the United States at the time was to support the troops, but not the war. Although a sensible and understandable position for many conflicted over a war with no clear end in sight, Vince McMahon and WWE felt otherwise, vehemently supporting the war effort at all costs.

Your Dean of Admissions.

Although their hearts were likely in the right place, this particular attempt at sharing their patriotism has got to be ranked as one of the lowest moments in the history of WWE Monday Night Raw. A debate was held over the merits of the war, between actual Harvard graduate Christopher Nowinski and actual walking-billboard for steroid abuse, Scott Steiner. In the most poorly thought out part of their plan, Steiner was arguing for the War and was expected to get cheered, despite the fact that his "arguments" seemed to imply he didn't know which war they were talking about.

This is totally who I want teaching International Relations.

Flustered, Steiner resorted to screaming nonsensical Rambo quotes, threatened to beat up the Dixie Chicks, and then told everyone who disagrees with him to go to France. It made WWE and anyone who supported the war effort look like a misinformed blowhard, probably the exact opposite of their intention.

1. Sgt. Slaughter turns traitor on America

Sgt. Slaughter is a WWE Hall of Famer, and his stern, drill-sergeant character reached beyond the squared circle and into pop culture history by appearing on G.I. Joe. His patriotism and military service were always the focus of his character, leading to immense popularity in the 1980's.

You might have heard of him.

Unfortunately, the peak of Slaughter's fame was a short-lived turn as an Iraqi sympathizer in 1991. Teaming with former enemies, Colonel Mustafa (The Iron Sheik) and General Adnan, Slaughter turned his back on America and vocally supported the efforts of Saddam Hussein, winning the WWE World Championship shortly after doing so.

WHAT is this insane bullsh*t?

Everyone knows pro wrestling is just entertainment, but rumor has it this move actually lead to Bob Remus, the real man behind the character, receiving death threats. Of course, we don't support that, but it isn't super surprising — having a lifelong patriot become an actual traitor is a bit much, even for wrestling.

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