5 meals that won wars (and how to make them) - We Are The Mighty
Lists

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

Before my first deployment, I heard all kinds of horror stories about lettuce sandwiches, green powdered eggs, and sludge-like coffee. When I wasn’t MREating, I found myself at the DFAC, Air Force parlance for the mess tent, chow hall, or cafeteria. Although I did find green eggs (no ham) in a few remote field kitchens, the modern overseas stations had some fairly impressive meal options and, except for the atrocity that was the pasta carbonara (featuring bologna and spaghetti sauce – looking at you Camp Victory), life at mealtime was pretty good. It still is if Okinawa’s TRC means anything to you. For better or for worse, the mess is the main source of food you if were/are lucky enough to not have to live on rations.


This has not always been the case. U.S. troops of days past didn’t always fare well at mealtime. Sometimes, the only benefit from having a mess tent seemed to be that the meal was hot, and in some cases, it wasn’t even that. Here are a few of the more famous meals produced by military-grade cooks. If it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough.

1. Firecake

Revolutionary War

As if anyone needed more examples of just how difficult life for a soldier in the Continental Army was, consider the main staple of troops who wintered with George Washington at Valley Forge: Firecake – a tasteless mixture of flour and water, cooked on a rock near a fire. On a good day, the makeshift bread was slightly flavored by ash from the fire or by vinegar, if one of the troops managed to secure some.

The texture and form of the bread depended on just how much of each substance the troop had. It would either be flattened on a rock or cooked in globs in the ashes, the result being a thick, dense mass of baked “goods.”

Ingredients:

Flour

Water

Salt or Vinegar (if available)

Prep Orders:

Mix flour and water together until the mixture is a smooth paste, but isn’t too sticky. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and either drop onto a greased cookie sheet or spread out like a tortilla. Bake until brown. Found the world’s first modern democracy. Spread freedom.

2. Creamed Chipped Beef

World War I – World War II – Korea – Vietnam

Creamed Chipped Beef, aka Chipped Beef on Toast, aka S**t on a Shingle – No mess kitchen creation will ever top this notorious meal as the number one reason for the field mess’ infamous reputation. First appearing in the 1910 Manual for Army Cooks, it actually seemed as though some accounting for taste and appearance was considered. The veterans of all 20th century American wars I spoke to seem conflicted about the “SOS” being a good thing or a bad thing – but it was likely a relief from powdered eggs and C-rations cooked over C-4 explosives.

Ingredients:

15 pounds chipped beef

1 1/2 pound of fat, butter preferred

1¼ lbs flour

2 12-oz cans of evaporated milk

1 bunch parsley

¼ oz pepper

6 quarts beef stock

Prep Orders:

Brown the flour in the melted fat.

Dissolve the milk in the beef stock, and then add that to the pot.

Stir this together slowly to prevent lumping, and then add the beef.

Cook for a few minutes, add the parsley, and serve over toast.

By World War II, the need for appearances had disappeared entirely and the Navy was far worse off for it. The 1945 official US Navy recipe calls for:

Ingredients:

1 3/4 gallon of dried chipped beef

5 gallons of milk

1 quart of fat (animal unimportant)

2 1/2 quarts of flour

1 3/4 tablespoon of pepper

100 slices of toasted bread

If you’re not having fifty or so 90-year-old World War II veterans over for dinner later (though we all probably should be every night), you can break it down like this:

Prep Orders:

3 c dried, chipped beef

(this will be found in the lunchmeat section, next to bologna, where it belongs)

7 1/2 c milk

1/3 c fat

(animal still unimportant, but I recommend bacon. I always recommend bacon)

1 c flour

1/2 tsp pepper

(or just pepper to taste, rationing is over. We won the war, after all)

First, chop the beef. Then melt the fat and mix with flour until it forms a smooth paste, almost like a roux. Bring the milk to a boil and reduce heat to medium. Add the fat flour, and stir until it thickens, then add the chopped beef and pepper and stir well. Simmer for ten minutes and serve over your shingles (toast). Be sure to start eating once it’s on the toast. The only thing that gets mushy as fast as toasted white bread is your will to eat it.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Smells like… victory.

3. Chicory Coffee

Civil War

This is actually the outlier. Chicory coffee did not win a war, but coffee comes in all forms and anyone who’s ever served knows U.S. troops will drink any coffee-resembling substance. It’s as irreplaceable as JP-8 or 550 cord. Anyone would question how could any Army fight and win without Joes drinking joe. And they’d be right to.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Cafe Du Monde has become an American classic.

During the Civil War, the Confederate Army actually did without coffee due to the Union blockade of the Southern states. They attempted many substitutes for the beverage. I’m not saying it was the sole factor to their loss, but I’m not not saying that either. The legacy of the blockade lives on in the American South, most notably in New Orleans.

Ingredients:

Dark roast coffee

Roasted chicory root

Prep Orders:

Grind equal parts coffee and chicory and brew in your preferred coffee maker.

Add heated milk (almond tastes best, though is probably not as authentic).

4. Slumgullion

WWI

In the trenches of World War I-era France, hunger often gave way to good taste. There just wasn’t much around to live up to the French standards of cuisine. But as the old military adage says: “If its stupid and it works, then it’s not stupid.” Thus, Slumguillion, the most versatile of recipes, was born.

No one ever wrote the recipe down but the doughboys knew what they were in for when the “Slum” was on the fire. In the states, it would come to be called a Hobo Chili, an improvised stew made with what you had where you were. It was hot and filling, which would be good enough on a cold day in the trenches. #FirstWorldWarProblems

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Settle for dry socks.

Ingredients:

2 lbs. meat

4 sliced onions

2 large cans of tomatoes

1/3 c of flour

½ c water

salt and pepper (or any available seasoning) to taste

Prep Orders:

Cut meat into one-inch cubes in a large casserole of stew pot.

Add onions and salt. Add tomatoes and more salt. Add other seasonings.

Cover and bake low and long – 250-275 for a few hours.

Make a roux with flour and water.

When the meat is finished, add the roux to thicken the stew.

Stir well and serve over mashed potatoes.

5. Artillery Pie

Civil War

This recipe seems like a prank for the new cooks in a military unit. Suet is the fat from a piece of beef, and they’re adding it to sugar sweetened apples. Suet was, however, a delicacy at the time of the Civil War and could be found in many recipes, including desserts like Artillery Pie. If Civil War re-enactors are faithful to the field kitchen, Artillery Pie might explain why some re-enactors need some PT.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
I thought they marched all day…

Ingredients:

2 lbs of bread

¼ lb of suet

1 dozen apples

¼ lb sugar

Prep Orders:

Melt suet in a frying pan, cut bread into slices ¼ in thick.

Dip bread pieces into melted fat and place in oven to dry.

Peel and boil apples then mash them into the sugar.

Line a baking dish with fatty bread and cover with apple mixture.

Cover with alternating layers of bread and fruit until it’s all used up, then bake for 20 minutes. Any kind of fruit is actually okay, it’s not like you’re making this for your health.

Lists

5 things boots need to do before earning the squad’s trust

Squads are the most fundamental part of the military. While you can generally get by with having an issue with someone else in the company, a squad can’t function unless everyone is on the same level.

It takes years to earn someone’s trust to the point of knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that they have your back. To get the new guys in the squad up to speed, they’ll have to be given a crash course in earning it.


5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

There is a difference between impressing the squad and impressing the platoon sergeant. Choose wisely.

(Photo by Spc. Noel Williams)

PT as well in the morning

the uninitiated may think that the fastest way to earn respect is to out-hustle, out-perform, and outlast the rest. The problem here is that morning PT isn’t designed to improve — it’s for sustaining one’s assumed peak performance. If you’re looking to improve, it’ll probably happen off-duty.

With that in mind, many troops who’ve been in for years won’t be impressed by the new kid smoking everyone on the pull-up bar. They’re probably hungover from drinking the night before. During morning PT, there’s no way to improve your standing with the guys, but making everyone else look bad will definitely cost you some points.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

This also means don’t ever miss the 50m target — you will be justifiably ridiculed.

(Photo by Sgt. Maj. Peter Breuer)

Shoot as good at the range

This rings especially true with line units. It’s also assumed that by the time a Drill Instructor hands off a boot to the unit, they’re ready to be hardened killing machines. Taking time to train someone to shoot perfectly is no longer in the training schedule, there’re still guys who’ve been in the unit for ages rocking a “pizza box,” or Marksman badge.

If you can show everyone that you’re not some kid, but rather someone who’s ready to train with the big boys, the squad will take notice and use you to belittle the guy who missed the 50m target. That’s a good thing for you.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

Or keep an eye out for staff duty and keep them occupied so they don’t crash the party.

(Screengrab via YouTube)

Party as hard in the barracks

Barracks parties are very tight-knit. There may be some cross-over with other platoons or companies that are cool with whomever is hosting, so don’t fret and be cool. It’s a real sign of trust if someone is willing to show you to the others off-duty.

Chances are that most boots are fresh out of high school. No one wants to party with the kid who’s going to get them arrested by the MPs for underage drinking. For all the legal reasons, you really shouldn’t be drinking if you’re under 21 (even though we all know what happens in the barracks). You can still play a part, however, by being the designated driver or helping others who’ve drank too much by grabbing water, junk food, and sports drinks.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

Chances are that the joke, just like your first time, will be quickly forgotten by most people involved.

(Photo by Pfc. Vaniah Temple)

Joke as witty off-duty

As odd as it sounds, the surefire way to make everyone in the squad trust you is to get them to like you. They’ll overlook a lot of your flaws if you’re not quite “grunt enough” if you can make them laugh.

No one wants to be around the guy who’s telling the same unfunny story that ends with getting yelled at by the drill sergeant. No matter how mind-blowing it was to you back then, I assure you that it’s nothing special. Dig deep and find that real humor. Joke about something personal, like the first time you got intimate with someone. There’s definitely an awkward moment in there that’s funny to reflect on.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

I’m just sayin’. Nearly every friendship is sealed in the smoke pit.

(U.S. Marine Corps Photo)

Be as loyal when the time comes

There’s no concrete way to know when this time will come, but it will. At some point, everything will be on the line and you need to swoop in with the clutch. When it happens, you’ll know.

This is when you’ll show the squad that you’re one of them — that you value the rest of the guys above your own well-being. It could be as large as saving everyone’s ass from an enraged first sergeant to just bringing an extra pack of cigarettes to the field. Get to know your squad and you’ll know what it takes.

Lists

6 ways to be successful in the Marine infantry

The Marine Corps infantry is a place where a boots’ dreams go to die. A fresh private first class or lance corporal might arrive at the Fleet Marine Force with loads of ambition only to have it ripped to shreds as the stark realization that they might never reach the rank of Corporal sinks in.


Today, we offer advice for lower-enlisted Infantry Marines on how to succeed in everyday tasks — the rank will come soon enough.

Related: The fascinating beginning of the term ‘grunt’

Keep in mind the following 6 ways to be successful in the Marine infantry:

6. Get a haircut.

Yes, we know this one is difficult when you’re out of range of the barber for weeks at a time, but when you finally can get a haircut, get something respectable that won’t result in an ass-chewing from your platoon sergeant.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
This is only acceptable if it grows during a field op. (Image via Terminal Lance)

5. Keep a clean uniform for garrison.

Higher-ups will preach until the day of their retirement that there is no such thing as “field cammies,” but grunts know otherwise — have a uniform set aside for when you’re in the rear that is always clean.

Likewise, make sure that the uniforms you have for the field and deployments are as clean and pristine as possible, but don’t worry about keeping them that way.

4. Know yourself and seek self-improvement.

This is one of the 7 Marine Corps leadership principles, but it applies to all areas Marine infantry. Know your faults and always work towards improving them.

3. Train in your off-time.

This one goes with point #4. Once you recognize your deficiencies, train in your off-time to fix them. If you’re not the strongest grunt, go to the gym. If you’re feeling underread, pick up a book.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Never stop training. (Image via Marines.mil)

2. Stay humble.

Just as you should never stop learning your trade, never see yourself as the best. Don’t believe you’re done improving because you’re not — and you never will be. Even after you’ve been praised and earned awards, maintain some humility. Be confident, but don’t be arrogant.

Also read: 9 ways not to get treated like a complete boot in the infantry

1. Always be a student.

Never stop learning your trade. When you’re bored at Camp Wilson or on a ship somewhere, read a book about Marines who have been there and done that.

Check out the commandant’s reading list — you might find something you’ll learn a lot from.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Don’t worry, there will be time to read. (Image via Daily Mail)

Articles

5 Chinese Military Uniform Fails

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)


Despite having the world’s second largest military budget, the Chinese military is far behind the U.S. in taking care of their troops. An article on Yahoo claims that the total value of a Chinese service member’s gear is roughly equivalent to the cost of two iPods whereas the U.S. spends approximately the price of a mid-level car on each service member. This means that not only do U.S. troops generally enjoy greater comfort and security, but that the Chinese are putting their military dollars into other projects.

The lack of spending on troop gear has not gone unnoticed by Chinese troops. According to a PLA political officer, “If we provide him with advanced protective equipment he will feel very assured, and as a result he will have more confidence to win the war.”

1. They used rope to hold up their underwear until recently.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

2. Most of them are still wearing steel helmets.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

3. None of their headgear features communication equipment.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

4. Helmets weren’t standard issue during the Vietnam war.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

5. Few soldiers wear bulletproof jackets.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

Also at Military.com:

Louis Zamperini Tells His Story With Some Help From Angelina Jolie

10 More Weak Excuses for Not Joining the Military

Young Military Marriage About More Than Money

Articles

13 best military memes for the week of Feb. 10

It’s Firday, the day of libo briefs and the best military memes from around the Internet.


1. Hey, if you can pass while only running during the actual test, then you do you (via Decelerate Your Life).

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Of course, if you can’t ….

2. Come on, it’s just a few years (via Sh-t My Recruiter Said)

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
And you get to lurk in all those high schools and stuff.

ALSO SEE: That time a bad radio call won the WWII Battle of Cape Esperance

3. Ooooh, should’ve double checked what they’re testing for (via Coast Guard Memes).

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Hey, there’s always future servicewide exams. After all your buddies pin before you.

4. A-10 puns are brrrrrtiful (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
But I don’t recommend catching anything from A-10s. Not super safe.

5. The Air Force has an amazing headless chicken budget (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

6. Not gonna lie, would promote the guy who painted this (via Coast Guard Memes).

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Of course, I issue all my order in the voice of Gru.

7. Gave you one job, Timmy (via Sh-t my LPO says).

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Timmy is going to have an uncomfortable next few days.

8. Bubba knows what’s up.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
And yes, Forrest is misspelled. Let it go.

9. American airports are not keeping pace with our needs (via The Salty Soldier).

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

10. “Take all commands from the tower. Rotate your selector switch from safe to semi ….”

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
The 15-6 investigation is going to be epic.

11. This would have gotten me to join the Navy (via Military Memes).

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

12. Secrets of the E-4 mafia:

(via Air Force Memes Humor)

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Another secret: They can’t get you to re-enlist if you’re barred from doing so.

13. Not usually into Carl jokes but this one is great (via Pop smoke).

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Carl: The most Marine Marine who ever Marined.

Articles

5 things you learned about America while being deployed overseas

Being deployed overseas means time away from family, friends and embarking on a life-changing journey that will probably change the way you think forever.


You may not see it at first, but the longer you’re away, you’ll start to form your own opinions about the world around you — especially the home you left.

Related: 7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

So check out what we learned about America from our time deployed overseas.

1. There’s no place like America

After the first few months, your fighting spirit usually tends to die out, then you really do begin to believe those classic words Dorothy from Kansas once spoke. This motivation is usually what gets you through the rest of the deployment.

She ain’t lying. (Images via Giphy)America and its people are certainly flawed, but we love them anyway.

2. Bigger problems

Stateside you have all types of bills, some family drama and if you’re living in the barracks, room inspections.

Now that you’re deployed half way around the world, those issues still exist, but you put them on the back burner. Although combat stress can get pretty jarring, many prefer that headache over fighting heavy traffic.

Let’s face it, blowing sh*t up is a great stress reliever. (images via Giphy)Punching out a bad driver is illegal. Blowing up an ISIS village is totally legal.

3. Americans are true supporters

Mail call doesn’t come around too often, but when it does, it’s like Christmas no matter the time of year. Many don’t have families back home to support them while they’re off fighting the bad guys. So Americans from across the U.S. often come together and pack up goodies and send them off to deployed service members around the world.

YES! New socks and fresh baby wipes! (Image via Giphy)It’s an amazing feeling to get a package from someone you don’t know.

4. How good American air smells

Being stationed on a small patrol base, you incinerate all the trash you accumulate in a burn pit not far away from where you eat, sleep and stand post. The smell can be pretty nasty.

Come home after a year-long deployment and smell that good old fashion America breeze.

Yes, it is. (Images via Giphy)God bless America and its plumbing system.

Also Read: 4 insane things service members can do to stay awake

5. How little stuff we need to survive

As Americans, we buy a lot of crap we don’t need but convince ourselves we do. Live for months on an aircraft carrier or on a patrol base and you’ll have maybe 10 square feet of personal storage — you’ll still get by just fine with a whole lot less stuff.

 

That is all. (Images via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

17 GIFs that will remind you of your first combat deployment

Deploying to war is an interesting time in a person’s life.


The experience will change how they see the world and they’ll never forget the milestones they encountered.

Related: 6 silly things troops bring into combat zones

Check out these GIFs that will remind you of your first combat deployment:

1. That feeling you got when your unit was informed they’re going on a year long deployment

You couldn’t wait to go. (Images via Giphy)

2. That patriotic moment when you boarded the bus to leave and looked back at your family

‘Merica! (Images via Giphy)

3. How awesome it felt to gear up for that first patrol

Oh, yeah! (Images via Giphy)

4. That time when your squad left the wire and were ready to f*ck sh*t up

We’re coming for you. (Images via Giphy)

 5. When you got bummed out because the enemy didn’t shoot at you

D*mn… (Images via Giphy)

6. When you have that first nightmare because you actually took the Doxycycline

I’m having a bad trip, guys. (Images via Giphy)

 7. How you initially reacted the first time you heard a massive explosion

Where’s it coming from? (Images via Giphy)

8. That special moment when you finally got to engage the enemy

Take that, ISIS. (Images via Giphy)

9. When your unit received its first care package shipment

Beef Jerky! Socks! (Images via Giphy)

10. The first time you tried to call home

“We’re breaking up!” “Wait, what?!” (Images via Giphy)

11. When the RR transport was loading up to leave

Thailand, here we go! (Images via Giphy)

12. When your motivation finally runs out

I’m done. (Images via Giphy)

13. Your dreams after you stopped taking your Doxycycline

So comforting. (Images via Giphy)

14. When the massive explosions didn’t bother you anymore

No big deal. (Images via Giphy)

15. What you did to someone that jokingly brought up the term “stop loss”

Tell me I have to stay one more time. (Images via Giphy)

17. When you’re finally told you’re rotating back home after a year deployment

Celebrate. (Images via Giphy)

Bonus: When you ate your first home-cooked meal back in the states.

Thanks, Mom! (Images via Giphy)

Can you think of any more? Comment below.

Articles

6 superheroes who were also Air Force officers

They aren’t the shoot-em-up kind of superheroes, but equally awesome in their own way.


1. Maj. Carol Danvers (Ms. Marvel)

Major Danvers is a trained military intelligence officer and erstwhile spy. She’s one of the most distinguished officers in the superhero universe, a graduate of the Air Force Academy, where Nick Fury recruited her for the CIA. Retiring from the Air Force as a Colonel to be Chief of Security at NASA before becoming half-Kree (a militaristic alien race in the Marvel Universe) and then becoming Captain Marvel after meeting a Kree alien named Mar-Vell, but she acquired superpowers after an explosion merged her DNA with the first Captain Marvel… well, it’s complicated. She is an author and feminist and her powers include flight, enhanced strength and durability, shooing energy bursts from her hands, and being able to verbally judo one Tony Stark.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

2. Capt. Hal Jordan (Green Lantern)

He was an elite pilot  who joined the Air Force on his 18th birthday and immediately became a test pilot (it doesn’t have to be realistic, it’s a comic, ok?) before joining the Green Lantern Corps. He was also a hot shot fighter pilot who fought aliens as well as North Koreans. He was kicked out after decking his superior officer, who wouldn’t let him take leave.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

3. Sam Wilson (Falcon)

Falcon is actually an enlisted airman, not an officer. He’s a former Air Force Pararescue Jumper (PJ), which makes him a great candidate for the superhero’s tendency to jump into the middle of a combat situation to ice evildoers and save lives. Not content with all that, he also counsels veterans with post-traumatic stress issues in his free time.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

4. Ben Grimm (The Thing)

Another Air Force test pilot (those guys are pretty ballsy, so it makes sense to turn them into superheroes), Grimm was also a Marine and an astronaut, which is how he became the Thing in the first place. For all the clobberin’ and poor use of the English language depicted in the films, Grimm is clearly the superhero with  the most book learnin’ and the most distinguished military career. Ben Grimm’s rock skin gives him super strength, durability, and resistance to extreme temperatures.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

5. Lt. Col. James  Rhodes (War Machine)

What better Air Force job could there be than to be the USAF Liaison to Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist — and your best friend, Tony Stark. That job is so awesome, it led to him being the only other person on Earth who gets to pilot a suit of armor on the level of Iron Man’s.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

6. Travis Morgan (Warlord)

Flying a recon mission over the North Pole led to a plane malfunction and an ejection over what should have been Northern Canada. when Morgan touched down, he found himself in the land of Skartaris, a barbarian world in another dimension, hidden inside the Earth’s core. He defeated an evil magician attempting to conquer Skartaris and became Warlord. He was able to return to Earth on occasion, which makes all of this sound like a deployment to Afghanistan.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

 

NOW: These military veterans created your favorite comic books

OR: 8 pilots who flew into hell to save ground troops

 

Lists

5 stories you may have missed for the week of December 16th

With everything going on in the world these days, it’s difficult to keep track of every story that pops up. Luckily, WATM has your back.


Related: Here are the best military photos for the week of December 16th

Check out these five stories that you might have missed this week:

5. A U.S. drone takes out a group of al-Shabab fighters 40-miles southwest of Somalia’s capital

U.S. Africa Command reported that a drone strike took out a vehicle carrying explosives posing an “imminent threat to the people of Mogadishu.” The extremist group al-Shabab has been linked to bombings in Mogadishu that have killed over 500 people.

The U.S. has reportedly carried out over 30 airstrikes against the extremist group. The Trump administration approved expanding military operations in Africa.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
A Reaper drone firing a guided missile.

4. China continues to install high-frequency radar on their man-made islands — and the U.S. doesn’t like it one bit.

Reportedly, the U.S. and allies are highly opposed to China building on the artificial islands, which cover nearly 72 acres of the Paracel and Spratly Islands. Although the construction is entirely legal, many officials believe they may have ulterior motives.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
The location of the man-made structures at Paracel and Spratly islands. (Source: Wikimedia Commons)

3. China threatens to invade Taiwan once a Navy ship reaches its port.

A senior diplomat from China threatened to invade the self-ruled island should any U.S. warship visit. Li Kexin, another Chinese diplomat, had told U.S. officials that China would initiate its Anti-Secession Law, which authorizes the use of force on Taiwan to prohibit the island from seceding, only if the U.S. docks their ships.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
USS Lassen underway in the eastern Pacific Ocean. (Source: Navy recruiting)

2. Pyongyang said it’s a ‘big step’ toward nuclear war if the U.S. blocks North Korean ships

U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson requested that all nations put a clamp on North Korea and reassert the “right to interdict maritime traffic.”  North Korean officials found the remark offensive, causing the rogue nation to threaten war if their ships are blocked.

This issue surfaced after North Korea’s latest missile test raised global concern.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
A North Korean test missile launch. (Source: Wikimedia Commons)

1. Russia wants to supply arms to the Central African Republic if UN Security Council approves

The request raised concerns from France, who has already questioned Russia’s reasoning for the sale. Russia is seeking an exemption to the arms embargo set on the Central African Republic in 2013. The UN Security Council has until next week to consider the request.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
UN Security Council during a session. (Source: Wikimedia Commons)

 

Articles

4 crimes you learn to commit in the military

We’re not saying everyone in the military does these things, just that it’s almost impossible to complete an enlistment without someone either encouraging you, or even teaching you, to:


1. Commit petty theft

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

“Gear adrift is a gift” and similar maxims are just cute ways of saying that it’s sometimes okay to steal. But it’s not. There’s no law that says it stops being government property or someone else’s personal property if they forgot to lock it up or post a guard.

This includes “acquiring” needed items for the squad by snatching up unsecured gear or trading for someone’s off-the-books printer. We know you have to get your CLP, but at least try to get some from the armorer before turning to theft.

2. Smuggle alcohol through the mail

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
If their breath never smells minty fresh, maybe get suspicious of their constant mouthwash use.

It’s only legal to ship alcohol through the United States Postal System if you have a license or if it’s in a product like mouthwash. Of course, that mouthwash isn’t supposed to be 80 proof.

But every time a unit gets ready for deployment, the veterans start talking about the super illegal practice of asking family members to pour vodka into empty mouthwash bottles, mix in a few drops of blue and green food coloring, and send it to the base in the mail. Many of the old timers are just making jokes, but it still spreads the knowledge of the tactic. (Which this article also does. Crap.)

3. Lie on federal forms

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
The Defense Travel System is reasons 1-3 that no one should ever re-enlist. (Photo: U.S. Air National Guard Master Sgt. Christopher Botzum)

Let’s be honest, perfectly filled out Defense Travel System vouchers and unit packing lists are the exception to the rule. Sometimes, this is because it’s hard to track every little change in a connex’s contents or a trip. But other times, it’s because units on their way out the door on an exercise or deployment are willing to put whatever they need to on the paperwork to get it approved.

It’s an expedient way to get the mission done, but it’s also a violation of Title 18 United States Code 1001, which prohibits false claims to the federal government. Of course, no one is going to prosecute when a connex shows up with three more cots than were on the list, but don’t listen to the barracks attorney telling you that the per diem is higher if you just change this one thing in DTS.

4. Abuse prescription medication

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Perfectly legal in training and combat, actually a crime when using it to avoid a hangover with a prescription. (Photo: U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Nicholas Farina)

Most troops aren’t out there injecting illegally acquired morphine, but most people would probably be surprised to learn that intravenous saline is a prescription medical device (yeah, saltwater in a bag). So are those 800mg Motrins.

And teaching a bunch of troops to give saline injections to each other does help them save lives in combat, but it also prepares them to tack an extra criminal charge onto their alcohol-fueled bender when they get home and stick themselves with a needle to try to avoid getting hungover (which, seriously guys, stop giving yourselves IVs while drunk).

Articles

5 Army myths that just won’t die

The rumor mill is one of the most amazing things about Army service. Conjecture seems to travel through the Private News Network at speeds rivaling any military vehicle. Unfortunately, the PNN is not the most accurate place to get news and there are certain urban legends that show up time and again. Here are five of the rumors that just won’t die.


1. “These soft new soldiers could get a break in basic by just raising their stress cards.”

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

It seems like every time the Army graduates a class of basic trainees, the rumor pops up that this class was issued the fabled “stress cards.” These legendary pieces of paper would allow soldiers to take a time out if basic was getting too stressful and challenging, but the cards were never supposed to provide a break.

Snopes researched this myth and found an example of cards referencing stress in Navy recruits, while Stars and Stripes found a card that was issued to new soldiers. Neither card allowed for a time out though. The Navy card listed resources stressed sailors could turn to instead of running away or committing suicide. The Army cards served as a reminder to training cadre that recruit stress was real and should be managed.

For both services, there are reports of recruits trying to get out of training by raising the card, but training cadre were not obliged to provide a time out. A 1997 federal advisory committee recommended the use of the cards end due to the widespread misconception that they could be used to take a break.

2. “The Army was drugging us in basic. That’s why we didn’t want to have sex.”

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Photo: US Air Force Tech. Sgt. Michael R. Holzworth

Soldiers in basic may be surprised to find they can go months without sex and not miss it during training. In whispered conversations over dining facility tables, this is blamed on the Army lacing the food or water with saltpeter or other anti-libido drugs.

Stars and Stripes addressed this rumor and every branch of service provided an enthusiastic denial of the myth. In the article, a spokeswoman for the Kinsey Institute addressed the likely cause of soldiers’ lowered sex drive.

“Most people when they are under stress are not interested in sex,” Jennifer Bass told Stars and Stripes. “There are other things going on that are more important that they have to take care of physically and emotionally, and usually those two have to be working together for sexual response to happen.”

The rumor sometimes manifests as the Army drugging deployed soldiers, but the real cause of the dampened libido overseas is probably the physical and emotional stress of combat.

3. “Really, my granddad’s uncle had an M-16 with Mattel right on the grips.”

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Photo: US Army Visual Information Specialist Markus Rauchenberger

The story goes that the first shipments of M-16s to U.S. troops in Vietnam had handgrips stamped with the Mattel logo, since Mattel had been subcontracted to make the parts in the first few runs of the new rifles.

While a great story, it’s not true. Snopes thinks the rumor started due to a joke among service members. The M-16 was plagued with problems when it first debuted with U.S. troops. Since it was made of plastic and did not function well as a weapon, troops joked that it was a toy using the tagline of the largest toy manufacturer of the time, “You Can Tell It’s Mattel… It’s Swell!” Mattel also manufactured a toy version of the weapon, likely adding to the myth.

The rifle was originally created by Armalite, and it had been producing the M-16 for export for over three years before the U.S. placed an order in 1962. Armalite had supplied an order to the Federation of Malaysia in late 1959, followed by orders for testing in India and fielding by the South Vietnamese. Manufacturing of the design was licensed out in 1962 to Colt who made the weapons finally delivered to U.S. troops in Vietnam in 1965. Colt, Armalite, and yes, even Mattel, have all denied involvement the toymaker had any part in manufacturing parts for the M-16.

4. “Hollywood doesn’t get our uniforms right because it would be against the law.”

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

Military movies are filled with annoying inaccuracies, something WATM has been happy to point out on multiple occasions. The rumor when it comes to uniform errors is that federal law prohibits civilians from wearing military uniforms, so Hollywood changes aspects of the uniform to get around the law.

First, the law exists but it applies whenever someone fraudulently wears the uniform, even if they intentionally get details wrong. Also, there are exceptions written into the law to protect artistic performances.

Since actors are allowed to wear the uniform while performing, Hollywood could legally portray the uniform properly just as easily as they display it incorrectly. Typically, movies gets the uniforms wrong because the crew doesn’t know better or doesn’t care. At the end of the day, it’s a costume designer outfitting the actors, not military technical advisors.

5. “Starbucks doesn’t support the troops!”

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Photo: US Army Sgt. Carmen Gibson

Many companies have been accused of not supporting the troops for various reasons, but Starbucks seems to be the one who gets criticized the most due to a myth that they openly voiced a lack of support to the Marines. The origin of the Starbucks myth is actually well established. A Marine Corps sergeant heard that some of his peers had requested free Starbucks coffee and been turned down.

The sergeant blasted out an email requesting true patriots boycott Starbucks. Starbucks addressed the accusations, saying that the corporation doesn’t provide free coffee to any organization besides non-profit charities, and the policy wasn’t meant as a comment on military service members. Starbucks employees receive free coffee from the company, and Starbucks allowed its employees to donate this coffee to troops deployed. The company itself just didn’t directly donate any beans.

The originator of the email later apologized, but the myth that Starbucks once voiced opposition to war veterans persists. Starbucks has made a few large overtures to the military community to prove its loyalty. They’ve sent care packages to troops, introduced programs to hire more veterans, and used profits from stores in military areas to fund local veteran charities. In 2014, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz announced a $30 million donation to support research into PTSD and brain trauma.

Articles

5 awful military haircuts that would fail inspection

Service members are held to a pretty high standard when it comes to grooming practices. The military requires that work uniforms look as neat as possible, men’s faces need to be clean shaven, and haircuts fall with in regulation.


Staying within these standards can be difficult, especially if you’re deployed. But for many, it’s just a matter of heading to the local base and getting a $12 haircut at the PX or NEX. The cut may not turn out celebrity style perfect, but you will be within regs.

Grooming standards vary amongst the branches, but at least one aspect remains the same — the hairline needs to be tapered. A fellow troop’s haircut is one of the first things veterans and service members notice.

Check out our list of military haircuts that would fail inspection:

1. War Daddy

In David Ayer 2014’s war movie “Fury,” Brad Pitt plays a hard-charging tank commander with a pretty awesome hair cut. But we can’t imagine how the Army managed to get a talented hair stylist out on the German front lines to keep his hair perfectly gelled.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
We guess everyone in the 1940s cut their hair like Macklemore. (Source: Sony/Screenshot)

2. American Sniper

The story of legendary Navy SEAL sniper Chris Kyle hit the big screen in 2014 directed by the iconic Clint Eastwood. With all the excellent production value the film had one aspect was over looked — this Marine’s sideburns.

We could mention he also needs to shave, but that’s not what this article is about — maybe next time.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
We bet he just asked the barber to take a little bit off the top before attending his big brother’s wedding. (Source: WB/Screenshot)

3. Broken Arrow

Christian Slater plays Riley Hale, a military stealth pilot who needs to track down a war head, defeat the villains, and locate a pair of Osters.

We know it makes you sad to trim around the ears, but you know what else is sad? Terrorism. Now go shave.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
This haircut is so freakin’ bad; he’s pointing out exactly what’s wrong with it. (Source: Fox/ Screenshot/YouTube)

4. Full Metal Jacket

Although this Stanley Kubrick film is epic on multiple levels, it’s a hard fact to swallow that these Marines stationed on a large military base in Vietnam can’t find a pair of hair clippers. We’re just saying.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Joker (in the middle) looks depressed as he waits on the base barber to show the f*ck up. (Source: WB/Screenshot)


5. Jarhead 3: The Siege

The Jarhead franchise just won’t stop making bad movies. Not only does the corporal standing on the left need a quick touch up, but he may want to consider switching out his 8-point cover before the sergeant major rips him a brand new a**hole.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Maybe they bought the cover at an airsoft store? (Source: Universal/ Screenshot)

Bonus: Basic

John Travolta plays DEA investigator Tom Hardy (not that Tom Hardy) in 2003’s “Basic.” Although the character isn’t on active duty, his backstory in the film states he’s a former soldier. So before he goes out on a mission to locate a rogue soldier, we think he should clean it up around his ears.

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
That look you give to your hair stylist after to see your reflection in the mirror for the first time. (Source: Fox/YouTube/Screenshot)

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Lists

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Army and Marine first sergeants have to talk a lot, considering their duties as company-level senior enlisted leaders. While they primarily act as advisors to company commanders and deal with administrative issues, they sometimes say things that drive troops crazy.


1. “It would behoove you … “

Often used by first sergeants to tell troops that it would be a good idea to do something — “it would behoove you to wear your eye-pro on the range” — it’s often overused and mispronounced as “bee-who-of-you.”

 

2. “Hey there, gents”

Short for gentlemen, first sergeants sometimes refer to their troops as gents. Of course, this is totally fine and not a big deal, except when you are called a gent all of the time.

3. “Utilize”

According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, “utilize” means to use. So stop making a word choice so complicated and just freaking say use.

4. “All this and a paycheck too!”

In the Army and Marine Corps, you get to work out, shoot stuff, and blow things up, and you get paid for it. It’s often pretty fun — who doesn’t love explosives?! — but the “all this and a paycheck too!” comment from the first sergeant doesn’t usually come at these moments. It comes at halfway point of a 20-mile hike when you are sucking wind and hoping for death.

Also, you make way more than everyone else here. And is that a pillow in your rucksack?

5. “If you’re gonna drive, don’t drink. If you’re gonna drink, don’t drive.”

Just one of the many things first sergeant mentions in his lengthy talk before allowing the company to leave for the weekend, “if you’re gonna drive, don’t drink” is solid advice that should be followed. But it’s also part of a boring brief that he repeats word-for-word EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK.

Other phrases troops may hear during the libo brief include, “If you’re gonna tap it, wrap it,” and “take care of each other out there.” In first sergeant’s defense, he’s required to give this brief to cover his own butt, in addition to it being a hopeless attempt at avoiding the inevitable 3am phone call to come on Saturday.

 

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)
Photo Credit: Sgt. Jennifer Pirante/US Marine Corps

6. “The first sergeant”

When you pick up staff non-commissioned officer in the Army or Marine Corps, they must take you in a room and tell you that you can start talking in the third-person, because it happens a lot. Hearing about what “the first sergeant” would do, as opposed to what “I” would do is eye-roll worthy.

“The first sergeant would make sure to let his battle buddy know.”

7. “Good to go? / Hooah?”

First sergeants like to use common catchphrases to make sure their troops understand. While a “good to go?” makes sense to gauge whether troops are listening, when it comes after every sentence in the liberty brief, it can get old very quick. For Army first sergeants and others, it’s pretty common to use the motivational “hooah” in a questioning manner. Hooah?

8. “We got a lot of moving parts here.”

Let’s not get wrapped around the axle here, gents. We’ve got battalion formation in the A.M., the general is coming in, so we need to be there at 0400, good to go? We got a lot of moving parts here, so let’s try to all stay on the same page, good to go?

9. “Give me three bodies!”

If you ever need a great example of language that makes you feel like you are just a number in the military, look no further than someone asking “for bodies.” What first sergeant means here is that he needs three motivated U.S. Marines to carry out a working party.

“Just get my goddamn bodies, turd.”

“Roger, first sergeant.”

10. “You trackin’?”

Often used just like “good to go?” or “Hooah?” the phrase “you trackin’?” is first sergeant’s other way of making sure we all understand. We’re all looking in your direction, listening to the words you are saying, tracking along just fine.

11. “Got any saved rounds?”

Last but certainly not least is the phrase “got any saved rounds?” which is a way of asking if anyone has anything to add. This one usually comes at the end of long meetings and should be followed by complete silence, so we can get out of this godforsaken room.

Inevitably, Carl over there is going to say something.

So, got any saved rounds? Any phrases we missed? Let us know in the comments.

SEE ALSO: Legendary Gen. James Mattis has an inspiring message for all Post-9/11 veterans

Do Not Sell My Personal Information