6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy - We Are The Mighty
Lists

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy

The military community is huge on rivalry and houses some of the most inventive d*ck-measuring contests ever imagined. Each branch is currently and forever waging a friendly war with one another that shows no signs of stopping — not that we’d want it to. And Navy homies, you’re up. 


We hate on each other for various reasons, but at the end of the day — we’re still on the same side. Do not get it twisted. If we didn’t mock our brothers and sisters, how would they know that we love them? Think of it more like healthy competition than bad blood.

We Are The Mighty is made up of members from all branches of service. This time around, it’s a soldier ribbing his fellow sailor counterparts. Upset? Wait until your retort comes around. Argue in the comment section and maybe you’ll bring up good snap-backs.

Related: 6 reasons why Marines hate on the Air Force

With the upcoming Army-Navy football game, now’s the time to break out the salt on those squids.

6. You guys are heroes during fleet week. We just show up drunk at Hooters.

Everyone wants to roll out the red carpets when you guys get drunk, but when we do, there’s a company-wide recall because the FNG got a DUI off-post.

 

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
And the only ‘free’ stuff we get is a ride to the police station. (Photos by Spc. Adam Parent and Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Amanda Chavez)

5. In-country deployments versus at-sea deployments.

I mean, we get it: 7th Fleet is supposedly terrible. Want to know what else sucks? Damn near everything about Iraq and Afghanistan. Just know that your ships have mess decks instead of CONEXes filled with expired MREs.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Yeah! You show that water who’s boss! (Photos by Sgt. Kandi Huggins and Staff Sgt. Dengrier M. Baez)

4. If you’re not a fake Marine Seabee or Corpsman, we don’t know who the hell you are.

We’re constantly working with airmen because they’re our taxis. We constantly work with Marines because they’re cool. I mean, technically there’s got to be at least a few soldiers who run into a sailor while on active duty, but that’s rare.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
There’s another rivalry between Medics and Corpsmen, but that’s not my beef. They’re all cool in my book. (Photos by Maj. W. Chris Clyne and Lance Cpl. Patrick Osino)

 

3. Seabees get better toys while on actual in-country deployments.

On the subject of Seabees, if you don’t know, Seabees are kind of like construction workers. They get actual supplies and use actual tools to build actual buildings. Want to know what we get? Sandbags. And we get to use them like floppy Lego blocks.

 

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
We might get plywood, but if we do, it’s always used by that guy who says he knows how to build. He doesn’t. (Photos by Spc. Leith Edgar and Petty Officer 1st Class Patrick Gordon)

2. We see them only as glorified sea-taxi drivers for their cooler sibling (Marines).

We use the Air Force when we’re trying to Uber the hell out of Afghanistan — and they do the same for the Marines and the fake Marines. Shy of launching a few missiles (which every branch does — there’s nothing special about your Tomahawks), your entire purpose is to deliver Marines as if terrorists ordered them on Amazon Prime.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Besides, we like our air taxis better. (Photos by Spc. Cheyenne Shouse and Petty Officer 3rd Class Jonathan R Clay)

1. How the hell did we lose the “drinking and cussing like a sailor” sayings to a bunch of beach-volleyball players that dress like anime schoolgirls?

Have a conversation with an soldier and they’ll use a expletives like a f*cking comma. Catch them out of uniform and they’ll have a bottle of something in their hands. Those sayings should be ours! But no, they go to you guys even though…

Lightning round: …your crackerjacks are silly. Your blueberries are pointless. We won’t ever let you live down Top Gun. The “100 sailors” joke will never stop being funny. Nearly your entire branch is made up of POGs. You literally call you lower enlisted “seamen.” You ruined Godsmack. And d*mm*t are we still jealous that your SEALs popped OBL instead of our Green Berets.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
But you know what? We’ve got nothing but love for you sailors. You did give the world the Sky Dick, after all. (Photos by Staff Sgt. Cashmere Jefferson and Jay Pugh)

*Bonus* We’re still upset about those 14 years of Army / Navy games.

Go Army. Beat Navy. Let’s kick their asses for 13 more years and see how they like it.

Lists

6 of the best Navy recruiting commercials ranked

Navy recruiters talk a good game to get young prospects to sign multi-year service contracts, but some people need more than words to get motivated. For those young adults out there that need a visual, the Navy filmed inspiring, powerful commercials.


We’ve all seen the posters of Navy ships sailing the seven seas and yes, the idea of becoming a Navy SEAL is pretty badass, but it’s the epic commercials that so often put the final touches on someone’s ultimate decision to make the commitment.

Related: 6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry

So, check out six of the best Navy recruiting commercials based on how freaking motivating they are.

6. “Live the adventure”

This throwback commercial focuses on young Sailors seeing the world, reaching new heights. We wonder what commercials Maverick from Top Gun watched…

(Darian Glover | YouTube)

5. “100% on watch”

Not only does this commercial feature voiceover from seasoned actor Keith David, this ad also showcases how the U.S. Navy never stops moving — ever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEtZ5r0CIYI
(America’s Navy | YouTube)

4. “From the sea to beyond the stars”

This advertisement follows sailors as they’re deployed from submarines to patrol under the sea and from aircraft carrier to literally the edge of the world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qtAnL3tB5A
(America’s Navy | YouTube)

3. “Game”

In this ad, a motivated female sailor tells us why joining the U.S. Navy is unlike anything we’ve ever done before. Paired with stunning imagery, this commercial displays the realistic intensity of life in the Navy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89Sdz3Dly2A
(America’s Navy | YouTube)

2. “Footprints”

This advertisement is probably the most famous endorsement within the special ops community. It got at least a few of us to join.

(baddersanta18 | YouTube)

Also Read: This is the cheesy ‘Top Gun’ commercial Pepsi made in the 1980s

1. “Around the world. Around the clock.”

The ad plays off of the idea of putting pins on a map to show where you’ve been in the world. The Navy, clearly, has been around.

It’s a badass and motivating commercial.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHrGr2oAwqI
(SC2 VOD | YouTube)
Lists

6 uniform inspection hits service members can easily avoid

In boot camp, recruits spend hours carefully fine-tuning their uniforms, as each is custom to the person who wears it. Each garment is individually hemmed and every medal is measured for absolute accuracy.


To test service members, each branch holds uniform inspections in order to maintain military standards. Although we all learned how to groom our uniform, the uniform inspectors commonly find “hits,” or mistakes, during the inspections.

To help you pass inspection, we’ve put together a list of common hits and how you can avoid them.

1. Fingerprint scuffs on medals and your belt buckle

We continually adjust and readjust ourselves in hopes of getting that perfect inspection score. No one wants to fail because they touched their belt buckle with an oily finger five minutes before standing in formation.

Look into getting thin gloves to use as you adjust yourself and your fellow troops’ uniforms — you wouldn’t want them to fail either.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
This belt buckle’s owner must have taken our advice. (Image from Sgt. Grit)

 

2. Holes from previous ranks

Lower enlisted (E1-E4) are required to apply their gold ranks on the collars of their white dress shirts. To do so, you must poke two holes in the shirt. Once this soldier becomes an NCO, their rank is no longer displayed on their collar, but rather on their epaulets. Now, the soldier is left with two distinct black holes in the collar — that’s a hit.

When the time comes, you’ll need to dip into your clothing allowance and purchase a new shirt.

3. Clean shaves

In the military, unless your MOS states otherwise, you’re supposed to shave every day. During an inspection, your face is the first thing the inspector looks at. They’ll go in for a closer look to check to see if you cut down every hair on your face.

Some service members have such dark beards that they get 5 o’clock shadows before noon. That could be a hit.

 

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
If you can find time to shave on deployment, then you can shave while stateside. (Source: Wikipedia Commons)

 

Quick fix: Shave often.

4. Wrong dress socks

You would think that wearing any black dress socks during inspection is okay. The truth is, you have to wear ones that fall within regulation. Inspectors know these regulations inside and out, and they’ll deduct points for wearing the wrong socks.

Quick fix: Keep the right pair of black socks in your polished dress shoes at all times.

5. Those Irish pennants

The threads on our uniforms break often and fall out of line — sticking out like sore thumbs. Those ugly and out-of-place threads are called “Irish pennants.” If an inspector sees one or two, they’ll usually issue an immediate hit. Too many can result in a fail.

Examine yourself and carry a set of small scissors or nail clippers to cut them off before they become a real problem.

Also Read: 6 crazy things MPs have found during vehicle inspections

6. A lopsided ribbon rack

A ribbon rack is used to showcase a troop’s accomplishments. The problem is, they’re too straight and don’t conform to the natural contour of a service member’s chest — at all.  Typically, the service member will place their uniform on a flat surface and measure the ribbon rack against their chest pocket, if they have one.

The problem is, once the troop dons the uniform, the fabric shifts like any other piece of clothing and all your hard measuring was for nothing.

 

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Clearly lopsided.

Quick fix: Have your battle buddy help you properly adjust your ribbon rack before the inspection. That is all.

Articles

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Jan. 27

Remember, troops. Don’t beat anything, don’t drink and drive, and don’t end up on first sergeant’s carpet without an awesome story.


Get ready for the weekend! Here are a few awesome military memes to get you through to the safety brief:

1. If they actually wore these uniforms, at least it would be easier to spot them (via The Salty Soldier).

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Probably wouldn’t help their ego problem, though.

2. That’s a good excuse right up until DFAS stops paying (via Shit my LPO says).

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy

ALSO SEE: That time a Marine mechanic took a joyride in a stolen A4M Skyhawk

3. Don’t care who you voted for, getting Mattis as SecDef is like learning that Capt. America is your new commander (via Pop smoke).

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy

4. It’s like the world’s worst Easter egg hunt!

(via Air Force Nation)

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
May want to tighten up the line for night time FOD walks.

5. Don’t wanna lose your sea legs (via Coast Guard Memes).

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Still gotta figure out how to replicate the swaying of the boat, though.

6. Let’s get it started in here:

(via Military Memes)

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
It’s about to go down.

7. Not everyone has what it takes to be a fireman (via Air Force Memes Humor).

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Mostly, a love of fire.

8. The most important gear an airman will ever hold (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy

9. Man, it would’ve sucked to have been drafted onto the DD-214 (via Sh-t my LPO says).

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy

10. That moment the grizzled veteran has to salute the fresh-out-of-OCS lieutenant, then try to teach them how to Army (via Pop smoke)

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Good luck, Merlin. That job is never easy.

11. They have crayon chewers in every branch (via Coast Guard Memes).

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Careful, Coastie. The Devil Dogs get fierce if you go after their chow.

12. It’s not like anyone in the squad is going to end up TOO strong (via Military Memes).

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Just do your boat presses and remember to hate Pvt. Snuffy for doing this to you.

13. Forward was more fun (via Military Memes).

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Besides, the whole crew is getting an awesome profile pic out of this.

Articles

7 ways military rations used to be a lot better

Military scientists work tirelessly to make modern rations as light, nutritious, and healthy as possible for the warfighter. But they don’t seem to care about them being awesome at all. Here are 7 things they’ve removed from the menu that modern troops may enjoy.


1. Liquor

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Photo: Wikipedia/Bbadgett

From the Revolutionary War through 1832, soldiers received a “spirits ration” of rum, brandy, or whiskey. The standard spirits ration was replaced with coffee and sugar, but leaders could still order special alcohol rations for their soldiers until 1865 when an order from the War Department discontinued the practice.

2. Cigarettes

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Photo: US Army Signal Corps

Cigarettes were included in soldier rations from World War II until 1975.

3. Meals made almost entirely of candy

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Photo: Wikipedia/Hershey’s

The assault ration of World War II contained chocolate, caramel, chewing gum, peanuts, and dried fruit as well as cigarettes, salt tablets, and water-purification tablets. They provided between 1,500 and 2,000 calories but were obviously lacking in important nutrients like protein, vitamins, and everything else that isn’t sugar.

4. Spice packs

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Photo: US Army Signal Corps

Expert field cooks know to bring packets of spices with them to the field, but soldiers used to have them issued. The smallest pack was devised in World War II and served 100 soldiers for 10 days, so soldiers still had to make it to the company headquarters or higher to use the spices.

5. Field cooking equipment

Troops in the Revolutionary War through the Civil War were issued cooking gear. Usually, one out of every five or so soldiers would receive the cooking gear and soldiers would cook as a group. This allowed them to add ingredients they found on the march by just tossing them into the pot.

6. Soap

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Photo: Wikipedia

Troops today are expected to wash with baby wipes collected from care packages and purchased from the exchange, but soldiers from the Revolutionary War through World War II got soap in their rations. The quantity issued varied between .183 ounces up to .64 ounces per day.

7. Extremely high-calorie rations

MREs contain about 1,250 calories each and troops can eat three per day on operations for 3,750 calories. Back in World War II, the Army issued rations with 4,800 calories per person, per day, so there were probably fewer complaints about still being hungry after the meal. But these weren’t nice presents from the Army. These were “Mountain Rations” designed specifically for men cross-country skiing and mountain climbing. There was a similar ration for jungle combat that contained 4,000 calories.

Articles

The 5 scariest things most recruits don’t know about the Army

Everyone knows there are risks to joining the Army, but there are the dangers that everyone knows about thanks to movies, and then there are the dangers that soldiers learn about during their time in service.


Most movies make it look like the only way to die is in combat. But movies like “Jarhead” and “Starship Troopers” remind everyone that there are a lot of under appreciated ways to die in the military, like being killed by your own artillery or friendly fire from a machine gunner.

Here are five relatively unknown ways to get your ticket punched in the Army

1. It’s not “Danger close” until it has a 0.1 percent chance of incapacitating you

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Photo: U.S. Army Spc. Christopher Brecht)

“Danger close” is one of those military terms that pops up in movies from time to time. It’s usually used correctly with artillery observers yelling it on the radio when they need bombs or artillery.

What the movie doesn’t tell you is that the term “danger close” refers to fire missions where the rounds have a 0.1 percent chance of incapacitating or killing friendly troops. That may not sound like much, but the risk estimate distance, or RED, for calculating  danger close is on a per round basis. Which means you’re rolling those 1 in 1,000 dice every time a round is fired.

Danger close fires are still often a good idea since they’re only used when a U.S. position is about to be overwhelmed, but they’re super dangerous. If the artillery line is asked to fire a total of 150 rounds in a danger close situation, then they have an 8.6 percent chance of hitting an American even if they do everything perfectly.

Any mistake increases the risk.

2. Human chemical detectors

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Photo: U.S. Air Force Tech Sgt. Brian Kimball)

In the unlikely event of a chemical or biological attack, all members of the military don protective masks and suits and chemical soldiers track how the enemy agents break down until it’s safe. But someone has to be the first to take off their mask.

This moment sucks especially hard for the junior-most member of the unit since they’re usually the one who has to take their mask off first. So, good luck with that, new enlistees.

3. Every weapon malfunctions and malfunctions can kill you

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Photo: U.S. Army Sgt. John Portela)

The Army works hard to purchase and deploy effective and dependable weapons, but every weapon has a chance to fail even when it’s properly maintained. While soldiers usually act in training like helicopters only fall when shot at and weapons always fire until they overheat, that simply isn’t the case.

Take this artillery crew in Afghanistan that got a horrible surprise when their howitzer’s recoil mechanism gave out during a fire mission, leaving them to manually lower and raise the gun between shots. And that’s not even getting into the malfunctions that can kill soldiers outright, like when the breach or tube on a weapon gives out and it suddenly explodes when fired.

4. Everyone with a radio is a target

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Photo: U.S. Army Sgt. Eric Provost)

American soldiers are trained to target enemy combatants with radios in an attempt to shutdown the adversary’s command and control networks. Unfortunately, the enemy has figured this out too and uses the same tactics.

What that means for every platoon leader and sergeant, every radio telephone operator, and every artillery observer is that their antenna is a huge target painted on their backs.

5. Even in training, the weakest link can get you killed

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Photo: U.S. Army Sgt. Steven L. Phillips)

But the scariest thing about being in the Army is when you realize that you’re life depends on everyone around you, and some of those guys are pretty stupid. In combat, these guys can get you killed by not being good at their jobs, but there are risks in training as well.

Artillery crews can miscalculate and hit friendly troops, helicopter pilots can crash, troops who have negligent discharges can send rounds anywhere. Obviously, sexier training is more dangerous. Shoot houses with live ammo and artillery ranges are more dangerous than practicing to escape a rolled over vehicle.

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of Aug. 18th

The other guy, Logan Nye, is deploying to go do some Hooah sh*t for Uncle Sam. Hope nothing big happened this week…


Ah. Sh*t. Well then.

Here are some memes to help you forget that you didn’t make the promotion list and as the possibility of WWIII — or Civil War II — increases daily.

13. Give her a break. Her bumper sticker says she has the hardest job in the military.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Via Decelerate Your Life)

12. Nothing sweeter than that first burger stateside.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Via Decelerate Your Life)

11. Um…they’re both laying around when there’s work to do? Yeah. Let’s go with that.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Via Decelerate Your Life)

10. The only way CQ or Staff Duty is less sh*tty is if one of your boys says there’s a “problem” you have to go check on.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Via Marine Corps Memes)

9. I hope that burden of responsibility weighs the f*ck out of you.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(via Pop Smoke)

8. I still never figured out the proper response to civilians thanking me.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Via The Salty Soldier)

7.  We hear you talking all tough behind a computer screen.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Via Air Force AMN/NCO/SNCO)

6. Best part of the stupid velcro patches the Army had? We weren’t stuck with crap patches sold off-post.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Via Sh*t My LPO Says)

5. Say “Roger.” Move on. And wait until your ETS.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Via Sh*t my LPO Says)

4. Brig and other NJPs have got to suck but hey, at least there’s a consolation prize for that dude that hid in the engine room!

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Via Sh*t My LPO Says)

3. There ain’t nothing in the world 100-MPH tape, 550 cord, and a “F*ck it” attitude can’t fix!

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
Did you know that apparently E-3s and below in the Naval Aviation field are called Airmen? (Via Sh*t My LPO Says)

2. 10/10 Would promote ahead of peers!

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Via USAWTFM)

1. It’s impossible for Neo-Nazis to be proud Americans when 405,399 Americans died and 1,076,245 were wounded in battle fighting Nazi scum and their allies.

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting)

Jobs

7 work-from-home tips you will need to be successful

Are you interested in a job that allows you to work from home? You’ll want to make sure to set up an environment that will allow you to work up to your best capabilities. You might think that working from home will be easier or less stressful than an office environment, but that’s not the case if you don’t do it right.

Here are 7 work from home tips you need to be successful:


1. Minimize distractions

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Photo by Sadie Hernandez)

Working at home is an incredible convenience and an example of technology enabling us to do things that were not possible only a few years ago. The drawback to this is that you are physically working in your home. Your home life is being brought into the office in ways that would be unthinkable for someone physically commuting into work every day.

For example, your children or pets might be around and they do not necessarily care that you are at work. If they will be around during working hours, keep them occupied or teach them to behave while you are busy. Home has some other distractions, like television or speakers. Keep them away from your work space.

2. Take care of your internet connection

If you are working off your personal internet connection at home, chances are very high that it is slower than the one in an office. Therefore, do not clog it up with junk. If other people in the house would like to play online games or stream while you are working I recommend asking them not to. This is extra important if you use a remote connection and run queries or reports that require a large amount of bandwidth. A slow internet connection will kill your productivity and by extension your mood.

3. Create a separate work space

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Photo by San Sharma)

When you work at home, you are literally bringing your work life into your home. It is damaging to your work life balance to constantly bring work home with you. Mitigate this by creating an office space if you have room. If you do not, set aside room within your dining room or living room to work out of. Make it look and feel like a desk you would use in an office.

A separate work space also means maintaining your work hours. Log on and off your computer at the beginning and end of the day. Do not let work bleed into personal life. The only time you should work longer hours at home is when you would also be working longer hours in the office.

4. Act like you are working in an office

Dress in work appropriate clothes. Go through a regular morning routine before starting work. When you interact with people at home act professionally and speak like you are working in an office. Be available and answer your phone and messages promptly.

5. Take advantage of the convenience

If you are working from home you do not have to commute to work. Commuting creates added stress to begin the day and adds it all back at the end of the day. Use this time gained to be more productive and energetic at work and use the additional free time to your benefit. While it is important to avoid distractions while working at home, it also makes things like child care and home maintenance easier.

6. Check in with your co-workers and supervisor often

6 reasons why soldiers hate on the Navy
(Photo by Joi Ito)

Working at home can make you feel cut off from your co-workers. You are on your own. It is important to stay connected through your computer and telephone. Always be willing to send instant messages through Skype or whichever software your company uses. Stay available and do not ignore your co-workers when they message or email you, this goes both ways.

Your supervisor has the added challenge of leading you when you are not physically present. Stay proactive and give updates. When you are trying to be responsive or get a response your priority should be telephone, it is the most engaging way to communicate after face to face, which is not feasible when working at home.

7. Take breaks and go outside

At all offices your mental and physical health will affect your work performance. When you work at home, particularly if you live by yourself and do not share a residence with people or pets, it is possible to spend an entire day without going outside. Shutting yourself inside is detrimental to your physical fitness and will hurt you mentally.

When you take breaks during the day take walks or do physical activity. If you worked in a physical office you would take breaks with co-workers and chat at the water cooler, when you are working at home you should do the same. You can also invest your additional time saved by not commuting into your health. Working at home is a modern convenience. If you approach it with the right attitude it can enhance your career and improve all areas of your life.

This article originally appeared on G.I. Jobs. Follow @GIJobsMagazine on Twitter.

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Humor

33 images that perfectly portray your first 96-hour liberty

For the first few months of military service, we go through some pretty intense training during the week, and maybe we have to pull duty on a weekend.


So, when a holiday approaches and the commanding officer awards your unit a 96-hour liberty, you’d better take advantage.

Related: 22 things every boot has done but will never, ever admit

Check out what many young troops do on their first 96-hour liberty away from the base.

1. When everyone is told, their 96-hour liberty has been approved at the same time.

Best news ever! (Images via Giphy)

2. How you caught a ride to leave the base.

Stuntin’ 101. (Images via Giphy)

3. What it feels like walking into your hotel room

All mine. (Images via Giphy)

4. What you look like drinking your first beer in months and can finally take a shower by yourself.

It tastes so good. (Images via Giphy)

5. How you looked properly preparing yourself for an evening out with the boys

Need to buff those floors. (Images via Giphy)

6. How awesome you felt drinking with your new military friends

I feel so cool doing a fourth wall break. (Images via Giphy)

7. That moment when you notice a female troop for the first time out of uniform, and she’s hot

Holy sh*t! (Images via Giphy)

8. After a few hours of partying, you start showing off your boot camp muscle gains

“I have the power.” (Images via Giphy)

9. Eating that first real hamburger after getting the beer munchies

So good. (Images via Giphy)

10. Trying to sleep after drinking way too much the first night

“I thought I was supposed to pass right out.” (Images via Giphy)

11. Waking up with a hangover and you need a quick pick-me-up to start the day

Coffee was meant to be ingested, but whatever. (Images via Giphy)

12. Thinking for something fun to do after you recovered from your hangover

I’m so bored. (Images via Giphy)

13. When you’re replying to all those Facebook messages for the first time in months

So many messages. (Images via Giphy)

14. When your boys invite you to come to the local dance club

Gotta practice. (Images via Giphy)

15. How you think you’re dancing at the club after a few drinks

Just like back at home. (Images via Giphy)

16. How you’re really dancing at the club after those drinks

How do I look? (Images via Giphy)

17. When you find some girl who actually said “sure”

It’s a new world record. (Images via Giphy)

18. What your conscience is trying to tell you before it’s too late

“Shut up brain.” (Images via Giphy)

19. Waking up next to that girl who said “sure” and she’s not what you remembered

Beer goggles are real. (Images via Giphy)

20.  Making your escape

Shh! (Images via Giphy)

21. Getting made fun of by your boys for hooking up with her the next morning

You had it coming. (Images via Giphy)

22. Your reaction

Damn. (Images via Giphy)

23. When the group plans an evening at the strip club after dinner

Cheers. (Images via Giphy)

24. But you really want to go now

Run! (Images via Giphy)

25. Then you get hammered at the strip club

Not that hammer, but whatever. (Images via Giphy)

26. When your guys find the first stripper who appears interested

“We so had her!” (Images via Giphy)

27. Then the gents get kicked out of the strip club

I guess we weren’t allowed to touch? (Images via Giphy)

28. Then someone drunkenly jokes saying “you’re not tough enough to get a tattoo”

That’s a good one bro. (Images via Giphy)

29. Then follows it up by saying “no balls”

Wait. What? (Images via Giphy)

30. Waking up the next morning with an unwanted tattoo

Sh*ttiest tattoo ever. (Images via Giphy)

31. Stay in the hotel room for the whole day and think about all the money you wasted

What was I thinking? (Images via Giphy)

32. Heading back to base after your 96 is up.

I don’t think I can make it. (Images via Giphy)

33. Look at all the photos you took the next day at work — that 96 was so much freakin’ fun

That was the best weekend ever! (Images via Giphy)What did you do on your first 96-hour liberty? Comment below.

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The 6 most terrifying weapons of World War I

When the Great War began in 1914, the armies on both sides brought new technologies to the battlefield the likes of which the world had never seen. The destruction and carnage caused by these new weapons was so extensive that portions of old battlefields are still uninhabitable.


World War I saw the first widespread use of armed aircraft and tanks as well as the machine gun. But some of the weapons devised during the war were truly terrifying.

1. The Flamethrower

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German flamethrowers during WWI (Photo: German Federal Archive, 1917)

The idea of being able to burn one’s enemies to death has consistently been on the minds of combatants throughout history; however, it was not until 1915 Germany was able to deploy a successful man-portable flamethrower.

The flamethrower was especially useful because even just the idea of being burned alive drove men from the trenches into the open where they could be cut down by rifle and machine gun fire.

The terrible nature of the flamethrower, Flammenwerfer in German, meant that the troops carrying them were marked men. As soon as they were spotted, they became the targets of gunfire. Should one happen to be taken prisoner, they were often subjected to summary execution.

The British went a different way with their flamethrowers and developed the Livens Large Gallery Flame Projector. These were stationary weapons deployed in long trenches forward of the lines preceding an attack. The nozzle would spring out of the ground and send a wall of flame 300 feet in the enemy’s direction.

These were used with great effectiveness at the Somme on July 1, 1916 when they burned out a section of the German line before British infantry was able to rush in and capture the burning remnants.

2. Trench Knife

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Even with the advent of the firearm, hand-to-hand combat was still a given on the battlefield. However, with the introduction of trench warfare, a new weapon was needed in order to fight effectively in such close quarters. Enter the trench knife.

The most terrifying trench knives were developed by the United States. The M1917, America’s first trench knife, combined three killing tools in one. The blade of the weapon was triangular which meant it could only be used for stabbing, but it inflicted terrible wounds.

Triangular stab wounds were so gruesome that they were eventually banned by the Geneva Conventions in 1949 because they cause undue suffering. The knife also had a “knuckle duster” hand guard mounted with spikes in order to deliver maximum damage with a punching attack. Finally, the knife had a “skull crusher” pommel on the bottom in order to smash the enemy’s head with a downward attack.

An improved design, the Mark I Trench Knife, was developed in 1918 but didn’t see use until WWII.

3. Trench Raiding Clubs

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Crudely shaped trench club from World War I. (Photo: York Museums Trust)

Along with the trench knife the Allies developed other special weapons for the specific purpose of trench raiding. Trench raiding was the practice of sneaking over to enemy lines’ and then, as quietly as possible, killing everyone in sight, snatching a few prisoners, lobbing a few explosives into bunkers and high-tailing it back to friendly lines before the enemy knew what hit them.

As rifles would make too much noise, trench raiding clubs were developed. There was no specific design of a trench raiding club, though many were patterned after medieval weapons such as maces and flails.

Others were crude handmade implements using whatever was around. This often consisted of heavy lengths of wood with nails, barbed wire, or other metal attached to the striking end to inflict maximum damage.

4. Shotgun

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U.S. Marine carrying the Winchester M97 shotgun.

When Americans entered the fight on the Western Front they brought with them a new weapon that absolutely terrified the Germans: the shotgun. The United States used a few different shotguns but the primary weapon was the Winchester M1897 Trench Grade shotgun. This was a modified version of Winchester’s model 1897 with a shortened 20″ barrel, heat shield, and bayonet lug.

The shotgun, with 6 shells of 00 buck, was so effective that American troops referred to it as the “trench sweeper” or “trench broom.”

The Germans, however, were less than pleased at the introduction of this new weapon to the battlefield. The effectiveness of the shotgun so terrified the Germans that they filed a diplomatic protest against its use. They argued that it should be outlawed in combat and threatened to punish any Americans captured with the weapon.

America rejected the German protest and threatened retaliation for any punishment against American soldiers.

5. Poison Gas

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British emplacement after German gas attack (probably phosgene) at Fromelles. (July 19, 1916)

Of course any list of terrifying weapons of war has to include poison gas; it is the epitome of horrible weapons. Poisonous gas came in three main forms: Chlorine, Phosgene, and Mustard Gas.

The first poison gas attack was launched by the Germans against French forces at Ypres in 1915. After that, both sides began to develop their chemical weapon arsenals as well as countermeasures.

The true purpose of the gas was generally not to kill — though it certainly could — but to produce large numbers of casualties or to pollute the battlefield and force the enemy from their positions.

Gas also caused mass panic amongst the troops because of the choking and blindness brought on by exposure causing them to flee their positions. Mustard gas was particularly terrible because in addition to severely irritating the throat, lungs, and eyes, it also burned exposed skin, creating large painful blisters.

6. Artillery

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8-inch howitzers of the 39th Siege Battery, Royal Garrison Artillery conducting a shoot in the Fricourt-Mametz Valley, during the Battle of the Somme, 1916. (Photo: Imperial War Museum)

Though artillery had been around for centuries leading up to WWI, its use on the battlefields of Europe was unprecedented. This was because of two reasons.

First, some of the largest guns ever used in combat were employed during the war.

Second, because the world had never seen such concentrations of artillery before.

Artillery shells were fired in mass concentrations that turned the earth into such a quagmire that later shells would fail to detonate and instead they would simply bury themselves into the ground. Massive bombardments destroyed trenches and buried men alive.

Artillery bombardments were so prolific that a new term, shell shock, was developed to describe the symptoms of survivors of horrendous bombardments.

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7 modern armies that still ride animals into battle

Technology has given the world’s militaries 62-ton tanks and silent motorcycles, but some modern armies still send troops into battle on the backs of camels and horses.


Here are 7 militaries that still view four-legged creatures as part of the first line of defense:

1. India’s 61st Cavalry and Border Security Force

 

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Photos: Wikimedia Commons

 

India was ranked 4th on our list of top militaries in the world. Surprisingly for such a powerful force, it has two units that ride animals into battle, mostly in desert areas where heavy vehicles would be bogged down.

India’s 61st Cavalry Regiment is thought to be the last fully-operational, horse-mounted army regiment in the world. It is deployed primarily in an internal security role. When the 61st does ride out to the borders, it’s usually to support the Indian Border Security Force. The BSF is also mounted, primarily on camels.

2. Chilean Army Horse Units

 

 

Chile lists four horse units on its published list of Army units from 2014, though it’s not clear which of them still actually ride into combat. But, the army does still send scouts into the rough Andes mountains on horseback. Many of the mountain passes are nearly impassable for vehicles and the horses can travel on small paths through the rocks.

Interestingly, Chile’s annual military parade began including horse artillery again in 2000, after 30 years of not parading it. (Bouncing back from budget cuts, perhaps?)

3. Germany

 

Germany maintains one pack animal company in support of its Reconnaissance Battalion 230. Though the company primarily focuses on using mules and horses as pack animals, its soldiers can also ride when they need to cover ground quickly in the mountains.

4. The United Nations

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Dawit Renzene

The United Nations puts together peacekeeping forces to patrol some of the most austere environments in the world and sometimes has to form forces of mounted cavalry.

In the above photo, Dutch soldiers assigned as peacekeepers ride camels while enforcing a 2002 ceasefire between Eritrea and Ethiopia. The large deserts of Iraq and Syria could make mounted troops necessary if the UN decides to send personnel to the conflicts there.

5. The U.S. Marine Corps and special forces

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Photo: US Army Sgt Edward F French IV

 

Following the use by special forces soldiers of horses during the invasion of Afghanistan in 2001, the U.S. has shown interest in expanding its mounted training. The only current mounted training area for U.S. forces is the Marine Corps Mountain Warfare Training Center in California.

The school recently hosted training for special forces operators where the soldiers learned how to tell the age and temperament of horses and other pack animals. They also got time in the saddle and experience packing the animals with crew-served weapons and other equipment.

6. China

China uses mounted soldiers to police areas of the Inner Mongolian Autonomous Region, according to blogs that follow Chinese military developments. About 140 horses are tended to in Mongolia’s historic grasslands. The full unit is only present with the horses for the spring and summer though. Once the cold weather settles in, the staff that supports the herd drops to six people.

7. Jordan

The Jordanian Public Security Force has a Desert Camel Corps that patrols the country’s desert borders. The actual camel riders are limited to one 40-man platoon. The riders spend most of their time assisting travelers and stopping smugglers. The desert riders could be called on to watch for incursions by ISIS, since Jordan shares borders with both Iraq and Syria.

Read more: The US military took these incredible photos in just one week-long period

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7 canceled weapons that you’ll wish were standard issue

Thousands of whiteboards owned by inventors and military contractors around the world contain designs for military technologies that could change the way that battles are fought if they’d ever see active service.


But as the U.S. military learns time and time again, these weapons don’t always work as well as hoped. Here are seven designs that would be awesome to fly, ride, or carry into battle if designers had just been able to work the kinks out:

1. XM29

 

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(Photo: U.S. Army)

While the M4 and M16 are fine weapons, the Army has tried to replace it a few times. Its sexiest candidate was definitely the Objective Individual Combat Weapon, a rifle and airburst grenade launcher hybrid that could be fired around corners. The airburst rounds were programmed to fly customized distances before exploding.

But high costs and weight problems kept the weapon from reaching its potential.

2. XM25

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(Photo: U.S. Army)

When the XM29 was canceled, its airburst grenade technology was split off as its own weapon with 25mm rounds in the XM25. The new weapon even saw combat tests in Afghanistan, but a malfunction that resulted in injury in 2013 caused the grenade launcher to be pulled from theater.

The XM25 is technically still in testing, but the program has been basically shuttered since the safety incidents. A recent inspector general report urged the Army to come to a final decision soon and said that the funds required for the XM25 could be put to better use if the program is canceled.

Would’ve been nice to fire airburst rounds though.

3. Comanche

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A RAH-66 Comanche prototype flies with an AH-64 Apache. (Photo: U.S. Army)

The Comanche was supposed to be the attack/reconnaissance helicopter to rule them all. It was quiet, featured incorporated stealth technologies, and carried a 20mm machine gun and Hellfire and Stinger missiles.

But the development process dragged on for far too long. A 1991 contract netted two prototypes in 2004, by which time the Army had put stealth helicopters on the back shelf while they hunted insurgents.

4. Arapaho

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(Photo: U.S. Army Office of the Chief of Public Affairs)

The ARH-70A Arapaho was supposed to replace the Kiowa in the reconnaissance business after the Comanche was canceled. It was a Bell 407 helicopter with a stronger engine, weapons, and sensors added. They could have been rapidly deployed around the world with two fitting aboard a C-130H Hercules transport.

And their high maneuverability would have allowed them to fly through cities and hover near buildings.

Unfortunately, the militarization of the 407 was not as smooth as anticipated. Delays and cost overruns got the program put on ice for a few months in 2007 and formally canceled in 2008.

5. Airborne Laser

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The YAL Airborne Laser Testbed’s turret assembly. (Photo: YouTube)

The Airborne Laser was supposed to be the ultimate ballistic missile destroyer. It would fly over or near enemy territory watching for enemy ballistic missile launches. When one took off and entered the boost phase, the plane would fire three lasers. Two were for acquiring and tracking the target and the third would punch through the missile’s body and blow it up.

But the laser had a limited range and loitering capability, meaning that planes would have to spend a lot of their time flying within an enemies’ borders to actually have a shot at the missiles. Luckily, this program could get revived using a new kind of laser and flying on high-altitude, stealthy drones.

6. Expeditionary Fighting Vehicle

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(Photo: U.S. Marine Corps)

The Expeditionary Fighting Vehicle provided better range, better speed, and better armor than the AAV-7 Amphibious Assault Vehicle it was meant to replace. It featured two 30mm cannons and was propelled through water with jets and it operated on land using its treads.

The EFV suffered some small setbacks during testing and development and then fell victim to budget cuts across the Department of Defense in 2011. The Marine Corps has wrestled with how to best move supplies and Marines from the ships to the shore since then.

7. SL-AMRAAM

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An AMRAAM-Extended Range missile is fired from a NASAMS launcher. The missile successfully engaged and destroyed a target drone during a flight test at the Andoya Space Center in Norway. (Photo: courtesy Raytheon Company)

The Surfaced-Launched Advanced Medium Range Air-to-Air Missile would have been the Army’s premiere system for defending troops from cruise missiles, helicopters, many jets, and other low and mid-altitude aerial threats. It featured a proven Air Force missile, the AIM-120C-7, originally designed for air-to-air battles.

Norway and Spain field the SL-AMRAAM under the name NASAMS, but the U.S. Army pulled out of the program in an effort to save money and invest in counter-rocket, artillery, and mortar systems instead. Some NASAMS are in U.S. service defending Washington D.C. from cruise missile attack.

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4 military veterans fighting in the UFC

With most troops learning hand-to-hand combat in the military, it’s not surprising that some would end up getting really good at it.


UFC legend Randy Couture is a former 101st Airborne Division soldier, while Brian Stann was a decorated Marine Corps platoon commander before entering the Octagon. As it turns out, veterans have a history of fighting in the Ultimate Fighting Championship.

Here are four of them:

1. Neil Magny

Neil Magny has a 16-5-0 record now, but he first learned hand-to-hand fighting as a light-wheeled mechanic in the Illinois National Guard. He credits the same discipline that got him through Army training as being what propels him in the UFC. He won five fights in 2014, tying the record for most wins in a single calendar year previously set by Roger Huerta in 2007.

His combatives team in the National Guard expressed regret when he left the Guard to focus on his MMA career, but encouraged him to pursue his dreams.

2. Liz Carmouche

Former Marine Sgt. Liz Carmouche has a 10-5-0 record in mixed martial arts and famously fought Ronda Rousey for the Women’s Bantamweight title in 2013. Rousey admitted before the fight that fighting Carmouche would be different.

“She’s a Marine, I’m not going to be able to intimidate this girl,” Rousey said in an MMAFighting.com interview. “The prefight intimidation stuff won’t work.”

Carmouche was recently scheduled to fight but was sidelined by injuries.

3. Colton Smith

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Photo: Youtube

Staff Sgt. Colton Smith is one of only a handful of soldier-athletes to compete in the UFC while serving on Active Duty. He recently reenlisted for an additional four years in the Army and holds a 6-4-0 record in mixed martial arts.

The Ranger and Sapper-qualified infantryman currently serves as a combatives instructor in Fort Hood, Texas, but has said he’s interested in a special operations assignment soon.

4. Tim Kennedy

Like Colton Smith, Tim Kennedy began his UFC career while on active duty. The Ranger-tabbed Green Beret was a sniper before he transitioned from active duty to the Texas National Guard to focus on his MMA career. He currently serves as a Special Forces Weapons Sergeant, and holds an 18-5-0 record in mixed martial arts.

Like former UFC fighters Brian Stann and Jorge Rivera, Kennedy is a member of the Ranger Up team. There were retirement rumors last year after a knee surgery, but Kennedy shot them down.

While Kennedy is still a UFC athlete, he has stated that it would take a “special” fight for him to make another appearance due to his frustrations with cheating in the sport.

NOW: Watch UFC fighters get stomped by Marine Corps martial arts experts

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