7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Joker, Cowboy, and Animal Mother are just some of the iconic characters in Stanley Kubrick’s “Full Metal Jacket” that audiences hoped would survive as they maneuvered their way through the dangerous battlegrounds of the Vietnam War.
One character no member of the audience gave a sh*t about, though, was Leonard Lawrence a.k.a. Pvt. Pyle because he was slow, overweight, and ended up murdering his D.I. and blowing his brains out while sitting on a toilet.
Let’s pretend that the murder-suicide never took place and Private Pyle actually went out to the fleet.
Check out these reasons why it would be a solid idea to have Pvt. Pyle assigned your infantry squad:
1. He’d be great to have during morning PT…if you’re hungover
Formation runs only go as fast as the slowest man. Since Pvt. Pyle was no marathon runner, the multi-mile runs would be at a pretty slow pace.
2. Everyone would look sh*t hot compared to him
He’s a f*ck up, so having him around would make everyone else look like rock stars.
3. He’s actually a good shot
Even the drill instructor said so.
Having accurate trigger pullers on the battlefield is a huge advantage.
4. You would always have someone you can trick into standing your duty
Who could we get to stand fire-watch around the barracks on Christmas Day? Answer: Pvt. Pyle.
5. He’d always have good snacks on deployment
If he can sneak a jelly donut into the squad bay, we’re sure he’d be able to get much more than that through customs.
6. You wouldn’t be the last one to finish anything
Pyle would be the last if he even finished anything he started.
7. You’d watch him and learn from his mistakes
His form is way off.
This is why car bombs are a terrorist go-to
Responsible for two of the three deadliest terrorist attacks against Americans in history, car bombs are tailor made to mess with your mind.
This is the latest version of the M9 service pistol
The M9A3 offers a bigger magazine, a user-friendly grip, and a host of improvements based on lessons learned from over three decades of service.
This is what the DoD has planned for a zombie apocalypse
It does touch on many of the pop culture elements of zombie lore, but it breaks things down to become applicable to most situations that would similar to an actual outbreak.
Some dirtbags messed with an Iwo Jima memorial — and Marines caught 'em on film
Officials say an Iwo Jima memorial in Fall River was doused with the contents of a fire extinguisher last weekend. Police are investigating
Vets are going to get a new ID card, and they'll be ready for use next month
The new identification card will provide employers looking to hire veterans with an easier way to verify an employee's military service.
This is the story behind the rise and fall of the Islamic State group
The Islamic State group, responsible for some of the worst atrocities perpetrated against civilians in recent history, appears on the verge of collapse.
Now the Iraqi army is going after the Kurdish forces who helped beat ISIS
Iraqi federal and Kurdish forces exchanged fire on Oct. 20, capping a dramatic week that saw the Kurds hand over territory across Northern Iraq.
This Kurdish female militia refuses to stop its hunt for ISIS terrorists
A Kurdish female militia, after helping free the city of Raqqa, said it will continue the fight to liberate women from the extremists’ brutal rule.
The US just sent nearly 1M bombs and missiles to Guam — here's why
Hint: There's this guy a few thousand miles away who's threatening to lob a nuke in their direction.