7 reasons why you'd want 'Pvt. Pyle' in your infantry squad - We Are The Mighty
Humor

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

Joker, Cowboy, and Animal Mother are just some of the iconic characters in Stanley Kubrick’s “Full Metal Jacket” that audiences hoped would survive as they maneuvered their way through the dangerous battlegrounds of the Vietnam War.


One character no member of the audience gave a sh*t about, though, was Leonard Lawrence a.k.a. Pvt. Pyle because he was slow, overweight, and ended up murdering his D.I. and blowing his brains out while sitting on a toilet.

Let’s pretend that the murder-suicide never took place and Private Pyle actually went out to the fleet.

Related: 7 life lessons we learned from watching ‘Full Metal Jacket’

Check out these reasons why it would be a solid idea to have Pvt. Pyle assigned your infantry squad:

1. He’d be great to have during morning PT…if you’re hungover

Formation runs only go as fast as the slowest man. Since Pvt. Pyle was no marathon runner, the multi-mile runs would be at a pretty slow pace.

Monday morning PT would be a breeze. (Image via Giphy)

2. Everyone would look sh*t hot compared to him

He’s a f*ck up, so having him around would make everyone else look like rock stars.

Look at his silly smile. (Image via Giphy)

3. He’s actually a good shot

Even the drill instructor said so.

Having accurate trigger pullers on the battlefield is a huge advantage.

Foreshadowing. (Image via Giphy)

4. You would always have someone you can trick into standing your duty

Who could we get to stand fire-watch around the barracks on Christmas Day? Answer: Pvt. Pyle.

I wonder what he was thinking. (Image via Giphy)

5. He’d always have good snacks on deployment

If he can sneak a jelly donut into the squad bay, we’re sure he’d be able to get much more than that through customs.

To be fair, jelly donuts are delicious. (Image via Giphy)

6. You wouldn’t be the last one to finish anything

Pyle would be the last if he even finished anything he started.

You would literally never finish last. (Image via Giphy)

Also Read: A Marine explains why people love the film ‘Full Metal Jacket’ so much

7. You’d watch him and learn from his mistakes

His form is way off.

That obstacle isn’t easy for anyone. (Image via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Articles

These 21 American Forces Network commercials are entertaining for all the wrong reasons

The American Forces Network (AFN) is the brand name used by the U.S. Armed Forces Radio and Television Service (AFRTS). It’s a worldwide network designed to be entertaining and informational for U.S. troops and their families while deployed or stationed overseas (aka OCONUS), or for Navy ships at sea. Broadcasting from Fort George G. Meade in Maryland, the network shows American programming from all major U.S. networks.


Since AFN is a nonprofit enterprise owned by the U.S. government, it does not and cannot air commercials during its programs, to avoid the image of endorsement by or sponsorship of the Department of Defense. In their place, AFN runs public service announcements from the Ad Council, charities, and — most interestingly — informational spots created by military members working in AFRTS. These spots can be “command information” or address a number of issues facing military members and their families. They vary in production value and efficacy and can be unintentionally ridiculous… few are as entertaining as AFN Afghanistan’s Bagram Batman.

1. Recycle

Always be yourself, even on Okinawa.

2. Maintain Operations Security

“Cats cannot be trusted.” – OPSEC Officer Squeakers

3. Don’t be an a-hole in Europe

Because Europeans never talk smack about sporting events or play loud music.

4. Shop at the Commissary!

This is really an avant-garde art film.

5. Prevent theft by slapping your friends around

It’s always a good idea to slap people at the base gym locker room.

6. Don’t forget your CAC

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qC4yBMCKWww

7. Don’t just give anyone general power of attorney

This entire PSA is an excuse for a pun.

8. Your new foreign-born wife will probably need a passport

Worst. Proposal. Ever.

8. What to know about legal residency, presented by Cowboys

No PSA is more memorable than one about legal residency.

9. Creepy strangers can overhear your travel plans

Cargo shorts, flip-flops, and wraparound sunglasses complete the creeper uniform.

10. The perfect neighbor doesn’t exist

If you want the perfect neighbor, build one from leftover body parts.

11. Having a baby is the end of the world

“Who wants to pay child support in high school?” WHO WANTS TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT EVER?

12. Get to know your skin sores

Listening to this gave me ear cancer.

13. This guy needs a shower

No concern about the invisible voice in your bathroom?

14. Don’t be an a-hole in Europe, part II

“You’ve brought great joy to this old Italian stereotype.”

15. Don’t be an a-hole in your dorm room

Who is the real a-hole in this PSA?

16. This guy needs a time management PSA

Maybe don’t wait until right before formation to run by the post office.

17. An identity crisis can hit you at any time

Does Stars and Stripes have a self-help section?

18. Eating lunch alone leads to disaster

Where the hell is this lunchroom anyway?

19. “Something about jurisdiction”

Call those legal people at the legal place when you have a run-in with the police-y people while doing your boozy stuff.

20. Smokers are Blue Falcons

Maybe we should talk about the guy putting out cigarettes on his co-workers’ faces?

21. Bird Flu is comical

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EyZ6z9dTQg

Try sneezing in a Marine’s face. Go on, I’ll wait.

Humor

The 13 funniest military memes of the week of May 18th

Much to the joy of most airmen and the disdain of most soldiers, it looks like the Air Force is going to officially adopt the Army’s OCP uniform. Meanwhile, I’m just sitting here on the sidelines wondering if they’ll steal the Pinks and Greens as well (since, you know, they technically wore them, too, back when they were the Army Air Corps).


Have a good weekend, everyone! Enjoy yourself. Go see Deadpool 2 if you want. Just don’t do anything that Deadpool would do — that’s how you get random bullsh*t tacked on to safety briefs.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

(Meme via /r/AirForce)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

(Meme via Lost in the Sauce)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

(Meme via Team Non-Rec)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

(Meme via American AF)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

(Meme via Weapons of Meme Destruction)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

(Meme via The Salty Soldier)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

(Meme via the Salty Soldier)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

(Meme via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Says)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

(Meme via The Salty Soldier)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

(Meme via Air Force Nation)

Articles

6 military jobs with the best perks

Military jobs all seem pretty similar from the outside. Everyone shoots at the range, everyone gets compensated according to the same pay tables, and everyone gets yelled at by the people with fancier symbols on their uniforms.


But some military jobs have hidden perks that just come with the territory. For example, if the mission requires that a soldier have access to the internet, then that soldier can usually use the internet for other stuff as long as they don’t abuse the privilege. So here are six jobs with hidden perks that help make life a little more bearable:

1. Corpsmen/medics usually have fridge access for medicines.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
(Photo: U.S. Army Sgt. Cory Grogan)

There are only a few groups of people who regularly had access to refrigeration during a deployment to the burning hot desert. The cooks (more on them later) and the medical folks — at smaller bases, this means Navy corpsmen and Army and Air Force medics.

The medical personnel need refrigeration to keep certain medicines from going bad. But whatever area of the fridge that’s left over is usually divvied up by the medics to keep drinks cold, a rare luxury on some bases.

2. The cooks also have refrigerators … and spare food.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
(Photo: U.S. Army Spc. Corey Foreman)

The cooks have even greater access to fridges than the medics, and they can sometimes grab extra food and energy drinks to trade or share. Most forward operating bases with dining facilities feed hundreds of soldiers and Army recipes are usually written for batches of 100 servings.

It’s basically impossible to make and order the exact amount of food needed for any meal, so there’s always some spare servings of something left over — sometimes cooked and sometimes waiting to be cooked. Cooks will trade away those unused 15 servings of ribs or chicken to others for special favors.

3. Public Affairs has usually has Facebook access even when the rest of the base is on blackout.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
(Photo: U.S. Air Force Airman 1st Class Sean Carnes)

The gatekeepers of the unit Facebook page, meanwhile, have their own great perk. When the rest of the base is put on communications blackout, public affairs troops are still required to keep the unit’s social media pages going to reassure family members back home and to keep up normal appearances.

This requires that the PA shop always has access to Facebook and Twitter, meaning its soldiers can exchange messages with family and update their own pages even when the base was otherwise blacked out.

4. Pilots and flight line folks have the best trading opportunities.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
(Photo: U.S. Air Force)

Anyone who is intimately involved in flight operations knows how to trade with people from other bases, ships, whatever, and they’ll take advantage of it. See, the economy on a deployment is limited to what goods are actually useful on the base. Pay sits in bank accounts while most people are trading the limited supply of available chewing tobacco and Girl Scout cookies.

But flight operations people have access to goods and services that are housed in another Navy ship or on another base. That means that they can trade items that only Kandahar Air Field or Sigonella has.

5. Combat camera is basically military tourism.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
This photo was taken by a combat cameraman. (Photo: US Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Jodson B. Graves)

Look, combat camera is full of brave people who wade into battle to document it and share stories with the American public and military leaders. This isn’t to disparage them or the work they do, but they’re basically military tourists.

If some unit is doing a cool training operation on the beaches of Italy or special operators are breaking into a Taliban fortress, there’s a decent chance that some combat cameraman is getting flown out there to document it. And they leave the service with their own collection of unclassified photos, making them some of the only people with multimedia support for their war stories.

6. Signal guys get admin access to the computers.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
(Photo: US Army Staff Sgt. Mike Pryor)

This one may sound less than impressive, but it’s actually amazing. See, military computer networks have a lot of user restrictions, but the IT guys within the communications shops are in charge of implementing those user restrictions, so they get admin logins.

That means that they have more access to whatever they want on the internet even when deployed, provided that they don’t abuse the privilege. So, they’ll have Facebook access even when public affairs is locked out and can set their own internet to have priority access when bandwidth gets tight.

Humor

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of February 23rd

If you pay close attention to the news, it might seem like everything is falling apart.


Well, it is, but that doesn’t mean they have to beat you over the head with it, right?

Laugh at it all with the power of memes — these memes.

1. Clever, Untied Status Marin Crops.


2. Why are we so polite to the Exchange barber?

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
I can buy my own g*ddamn Flowbee.

3. Why are military people so intense?

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Don’t ask questions if you don’t want the answer.

4. Someone trying to tell you something. (via US Army WTF Moments)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Can’t imagine what that might be.

5. When your base has a Green Beans and a Taco Bell. (via Air Force amn/nco/snco)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
And a pool.

6. It’s a trick. (via Decelerate Your Life)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
It’s always a trick.

7. If the Pizza MRE has jalapeño cheddar spread, my life is complete. (via the Salty Soldier)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Guys literally only want one thing.

8. Someone get my supervisor to sign me off on this training.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
And get some more tape.

9. Half the Air Force just winced.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Neither is Kuwait.

10. The briefing you get when you make NCO grade.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
But it wouldn’t have taken you 8 years to get here if you could do that.

11. I support Michael Ironside for SecDef.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Or, someone get Mattis a robot hand.

12. At least two of these are actually real.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Maybe four.

13. Not even mad. (via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Actually impressed.

MIGHTY MOVIES

18 of the best jokes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Why are the Marvel movies so damn popular? Well, that might be the wrong question, because the more important question should be: how did the Marvel movies get to be so damn funny? What are the best jokes in the funniest Marvel movies?

From “Iron Man” in 2008 to “Avengers: Endgame” in 2019, one thing moviegoers have always been able to count on from these films is a one-liner quip machine even in the bleakest of installments. Figuring out all the funniest moments in all 22 installments of the official Marvel Cinematic Universe might seem like a task better suited to one of Tony Stark’s supercomputers, but since Jarvis and Friday aren’t real, you’ll have to deal with human bias. So, with that in mind, here are 18 of the best jokes from the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe. And to avoid saying any of these jokes are better or worse than others, we’re just listing these jokes in chronological order.

Warning: Joke spoilers for all Marvel movies ahead!


7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

1. “Let’s face it, this is not the worst thing you’ve caught me doing.”

When Pepper Potts walks in on Tony messing with his Iron Man suit, this classic Stark comeback cannot be beaten.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

2. “We have a Hulk.”

From the 2012 “Avengers,” Tony Stark’s rebuttal to Loki’s boast “I have an army” is “We have a Hulk.” This is made all the sweeter when you consider Loki himself says “We have a Hulk” when he stands-up to Thanos in “Infinity War.”

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

3. “Better clench up, Legolas.”

Tony Stark’s pop culture references are an artform. If you don’t know who Legolas is and why this is funny, I’m sorry that I have to explain this to you: Legolas is an elf archer from “Lord of the Rings.” Hawkeye is an archer. Okay. enough explaining.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

4. “I’m a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.”

This Tony Stark quip is preceded by him complimenting Bruce Banner on his scientific achievements, which of course, is totally overshadowed by his ability to Hulk-out.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

5. “No hard feelings, Point Break.”

I’m not going to explain this reference. I’ll explain “Lord of the Rings” references, but not this one. Either you get it, or you don’t. (If you’re reading this website and you’re a dad, I’m guessing you get this.)

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

6. “I understood that reference!”

Steve Rogers is great when he gets super-earnest in subsequent Avengers flicks, but he’s pretty much the best when he’s struggling with 21st-century pop culture references. In the first “Avengers,” when Steve actually understands one of Nick Fury’s references to “The Wizard of Oz,” his reaction is pure gold.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

7. “The city is flying. We’re fighting an army of robots. And I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense.”

One of the funniest meta-fictional lines in any Marvel movie. Hawkeye knows nothing about his role in these movies makes sense.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

8. “Why would I put my finger on his throat?”

You could, in theory, do an entire list of just great jokes and funny moments from both “Guardians of the Galaxy” movies and their appearances in “Infinity War” and “Endgame.” I’ve tried to prevent too many “Guardians” jokes from dominating this list. But still, when Star-Lord is trying to reason with Drax in that prison, this visual gag where Drax doesn’t understand the pantomime for killing someone is hilarious.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

9. “If I had a black light, this place would look like a Jackson Pollock painting”

A crass joke that flies over the head of kids and into the ears of knowing adults. Nice. Totally on-brand from Chris Pratt’s Star-Lord. Also, fun fact, this line was ad-libbed by Chris Pratt on the spot.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

10. “He says he’s an a-hole, and I’m quoting him here, but he’s not 100 percent…a dick”

John C. Reilly’s small role in “Guardians of the Galaxy” is underrated. It just is.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

11. “If you say one more word, I’ll feed you to my children! I’m kidding. We’re vegetarians.”

M’baku might not be as famous as T’Challa in the kingdom of Wakanda, but he’s pretty much the funniest person in “Black Panther.”

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

12. “He’s a friend from work!”

When Thor realizes he’s supposed to fight the Hulk in “Ragnarok,” he’s thrilled and relieved. This line is fantastic because it’s so relatable, but it’s made ten times sweeter when you know that a Make-A-Wish kid actually suggested the line in the first place. True story!

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

13. “Dude, you’re embarrassing me in front of the wizards.”

Tony Stark and Bruce Banner’s reunion in “Infinity War” is full of a lot of great moments, but this joke is easily the best.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

14. “OH! we’re using our made-up names!”

The lovable innocence of Tom Holland’s Peter Parker is always great and when he understandably doesn’t understand that Dr. Strange’s real name is Dr. Strange, it’s one of the funniest moments in the entire series.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

15. “Kick names. Take ass”

Mantis’ mangling of a pretty common cliche turns it into something very different thanks to her naivite — and impeccable timing.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

16. “I get emails from a raccoon, so nothing sounds crazy.”

Black Widow is super tired in this “Avengers: Endgame” one-liner, but her workplace emails are certainly a little different than yours. Or are they?

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

17. “What’s up, regular-sized man?”

Rhodey gets in on the one-liner action, in one of the best jokes for “Endgame.” Picking on Ant-Man might not be nice, but it is hilarious.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

18. “As far as I’m concerned, that is America’s ass.”

Paul Rudd, an actual comedic actor who found his way into the Marvel universe as Ant-Man, gets what is probably the very best line in “Avengers: Endgame.” This joke is so good, it gets repeated by Steve Rogers as he’s staring at former-him’s ass.

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.

MIGHTY MOVIES

What we know about the upcoming ‘John Wick 3: Parabellum’

No action-thriller films in recent memory have received as much acclaim from both critics and audiences as the John Wick series. Ever since the credits rolled on the second film, fans have been speculating and eagerly waiting to see what will happen to the action genre’s newest beloved badass.

On the surface, it’s a very simple plot to follow. Bad guys kill a man’s dog, so (spoiler alert) man brutally kills the bad guys — but it’s so much deeper than that. The first and second films brilliantly weave in minor references to the grander world of the former-assassin-turned-world’s-most-wanted-dog-avenger. It’s fair to assume that the third film will follow in the same vein.


Throughout the series, there is only one established rule that few characters dare to break: No criminal business, especially killing, is allowed in the Continental Hotel, which serves as a neutral hub for the underworld. Nearly every hardened killer in the series is willing to obey this rule, with the exception of Ms. Perkins (portrayed by Adrianne Palicki) in the first film. For breaking this rule, she’s killed, executioner-style, by a collection of underworld bosses.

John Wick: Chapter 2 ends with John killing the man who was blackmailing him back into assassin work at that very hotel. Instead of sharing the fate of Ms. Perkins, John has a million bounty placed on his head and is given a marker, a coin that can be turned in for a favor, and an hour-long head start. Every killer in the world checks their phones and is informed of the bounty — roll credits.

It can be assumed that the next film will take place moments after the order is given.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

It just feels right knowing that the same creative team gets to tell their complete, unedited story.

(Lionsgate Entertainment)

Details surrounding the next installment in the series remain very closely kept secrets, which doesn’t point to things faring well for our legendary assassin, but we’ve dug up a few clues.

First, we look toward the film’s IMDb page. According to the credits, several of the still-living characters are set to reappear. John Wick is still played by Keanu Reeves. Ruby Rose, Common, Laurence Fishburne, and Ian McShane are all set to reprise their respective roles. Newcomers to the series include Halle Berry and Jason Mantzoukas, both playing assassins.

Director of the first two films, Chad Stahelski, and Derek Kolstad, writer, are also taking up their former roles. Fans of the series can rejoice because this means that the tone and feeling of the third chapter will be consistent with the first two.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

According to a leaked set photo, he’s somehow going to steal a Central Park horse… and for some strange reason I’m excited about that.

(Lionsgate Entertainment)

Principal photography is currently underway and set photos are surfacing that showcase scenes in New York City. Since the previous film ends there, it’s safe to assume that these sets will be the backdrop of Wick’s escape from New York. In an interview with Fandom for the second film, Reeves admitted that he’d love for the series to go to Jerusalem to continue with the historic feeling of the missions.

The title of the upcoming film, John Wick 3: Parabellum, is a clever nod to the Latin phrase, “si vis pacem, para bellum,” which means, “if you want peace, prepare for war” (Not to go on at length, but this is also further proof of his Marine-ness). It’s also a reference to the 9mm Luger handgun cartridge — the 9mm Parabellum round. In terms of John Wick, this means he’ll have to do a lot of shooting if he wants to find that peace.

Another interesting tidbit of information, courtesy of IMDb, is the tagline for the film: “No shout, no scream, no shoot, no fear, no fire, no sign. Just one pencil.” Fans of the series learned early on that the legends of John Wick killing two men with just a pencil weren’t exaggerated. Maybe he’ll up his tally with even more men with the very same pencil. We’ll see.

The film is scheduled for release on May 19th, 2019 — two weeks after the climactic fourth Avengers film. Here’s to hoping both films crush it at the box office.

Lists

9 tanks that changed armored warfare

Tank warfare has changed a lot from 1914 when rolling fortresses were first proposed to today when Russia’s T-14 Armata currently in development hopes to shoot down enemy rounds before they can even reach the armor.


From the tank’s debut in 1916 to the fielding of ceramic armor on modern tanks, here are nine armored behemoths that changed tank warfare:

1. British Mark I clears the way for tank warfare

 

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
(Photo: Public Domain/British Government)

 

The first tank to see combat was the British Mark I, a slow-moving vehicle that provided relatively little protection from infantry and was prone to breakdowns but which ushered in the tank as a weapon of warfare and was able to grab nearly a mile of German-held ground in its first attempt.

2. French Renault FT blazes across the battlefield (at least, in relation to heavy tanks)

 

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Army Lt. Col. George S. Patton with a Renault tank. He became America’s first-ever tank officer the previous year as a captain. (Photo: U.S. Army)

 

The first operational light tank, the Renault FT was one of France’s first tanks and it set the template for tank design that has carried through to the present day.

While the British favored their heavy tank designs, the French adopted light tanks early with the FT. These were faster, capable of matching the speed of marching infantry, and pioneered the cabin design favored by nearly all modern tanks today with a driver in front, commander and turret operator directly behind, and the engine in the rear of the vehicle.

3. Panzer II is a master of coordination (if nothing else)

 

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
(Photo: German Army Archives)

 

The Panzer II was one of Germany’s first tanks and a major staple of the army at the start of World War II, but it was a lackluster design that was unremarkable except for one detail: it was the first tank designed with a radio for every tank and an operator assigned as a specific role in the crew.

4. The French S35 featured sloped and cast armor

The S35 was designed and manufactured with a sloped armor hull that was cast in four molds during manufacture. This resulted in armor with fewer seams that could split or give during heavy combat and fewer flat surfaces against which enemy rounds could hit at right angles, reducing the chance they would punch through.

5. The Mk. VII Tetrarch was the first airborne tank

 

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
(Photo: Imperial War Museum)

The British Mk. VII Tetrarch tank was a fine light tank that wouldn’t be on this list if it weren’t for a very specific adaptation after it was initially fielded: The Tetrarch was taught to fly.

The first British paratroopers looked for a tank they could take with them on jumps and glider insertions and realized that the Tetrarch was light enough to ride in specialized gliders. British airborne forces took the Tetrarch tanks with them into Normandy on D-Day, but the tanks struggled in combat.

6. The Soviet T-34 had armor that could survive multiple hits from enemy main guns

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
A Russian T-34 tank burns during World War II. Hey, they weren’t immortal, just super tough and widely fielded. (Photo: Bundesarchiv)

 

While there were certainly previous tanks that had survived direct hits from enemy main guns, the T-34 medium tank was possibly the first tank to be fast and well-armed — while also being capable of shrugging off most rounds fired at it.

The Soviets had begun experimenting with sloped armor designs at the same time the French S35 was entering production, and that innovation served the T-34 well. The Germans were forced to rely on artillery and dive bombing to reliably shut the T-34s down until new tank designs with heavier guns could reach the front.

As an added side note, the M4 Sherman was originally going to be on this list as a tank that proved manufacturability (how easy it is to produce mass numbers of the tank) can change the way armored battles are fought. But the T-34 actually predated the Sherman and was manufactured in larger numbers during the war.

7. Tigers could win almost any fight, especially at range

 

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
A German Tiger in Sicily, 1943. (U.S. Army photo)

 

The Tiger was designed at least partially as a direct counter to the T-34, and it became one of the most feared and famed tanks on World War II battlefields. It featured a massive, 88mm main gun that could kill anything on the battlefield while its own armor took hits from 75mm guns from approximately 55 yards and the tank kept fighting.

 

7. Sheridan was the first operational tank with a functioning barrel-fired anti-tank missile

 

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
The M551 Sheridan tank firing a Shillelagh missile. (Photo: U.S. Army)

 

The M551 Sheridan was a light airborne and amphibious tank that featured a number of attempted innovations, including the barrel-fired anti-tank guided missile.

The Sheridan’s MGM-51 Shillelagh has its issues, though. While it allowed the tank to engage targets at long ranges, it also featured sensitive electronics that could be knocked out of commission by firing the main gun and a problem with the target designating system left it incapable of engaging target in the mid range.

8. Soviet T-62 was the first tank with a smoothbore main gun

 

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
A Soviet T-55 medium tank at the National Training Center at Fort Irwin, California. (Photo: Department of Defense)

 

The T-62 was designed with the primary goal of countering new NATO designs which featured 105mm rifled bores and armor that could withstand most hits from the same weapon. For the Soviets, this meant that their armored formations would be at a disadvantage.

The tank which would become the T-62 was being developed at the same time as a smoothbore anti-tank gun that allowed for greater penetration of enemy armor by high-explosive, anti-tank rounds that were not spin stabilized. The Soviets replaced the prototype’s weapon with the smoothbore weapon, and nearly all modern tanks now use smoothbores.

9. The M1 Abrams debuts ceramic armor for tanks

 

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
M1A2 Abrams Tanks belonging to 1st Battalion, 68th Armored Regiment, 3rd Armored Brigade, 4th Infantry Division fires off a round Jan. 26, 2017 during a gunnery range. (Photo: Department of Defense)

 

While the M1 Abrams was revolutionary in the West for a few reasons, it was the first NATO tank to use a turbine engine and to carry a smoothbore cannon, other tanks in the Warsaw Pact and Sweden had incorporated those elements before the Abrams.

The one thing the Abrams had that was truly revolutionary was its Chobham ceramic armor, a set of sandwiched layers with air pockets and special materials that are still classifed and defeat most enemy tank rounds and missiles.

Notably, the U.S.-made tank’s revolutionary armor did not come from the U.S. It was actually provided by British allies who later fielded the armor on their Challenger tanks.

Articles

17 Photos That Show Why Troops Absolutely Love The .50 Caliber Machine Gun

The M2 .50 caliber machine gun has been in production longer than any other, and it’s easy to see why troops love it.


Since the 1930s, “Ma Deuce” has been serving troops on the ground, in vehicles, and in aircraft, and with its effectiveness and reliability, it doesn’t look like this weapon is going out of style any time soon. Originally developed during World War I by John Browning, the weapon is now in the hands of U.S. troops and a number of NATO allies.

Here’s why:

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

The M2 .50 cal has served troops well in Iraq and Afghanistan as a fearsome automatic weapon usually mounted to vehicles.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

But it was just as deadly in Normandy in 1944 …

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

… As it is overlooking remote bases in Afghanistan today.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

With a belt-fed .50 BMG round, it packs serious punch that can effectively hit targets out to 1,800 meters.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

The weapon can fire a variety of ammunition types, such as standard ball, blanks, armor-piercing (AP), armor-piercing incendiary (API), armor-piercing incendiary tracer (APIT) …

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

… And the crowd favorite: Saboted Light Armor Penetrator (SLAP), which can bust through steel.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

Troops can find the .50 cal everywhere from the perimeter of the forward operating base …

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

… to the rails of U.S. Navy ships.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

Of course, two is better than one.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

Before they can fire it, soldiers usually learn how to disassemble, assemble, and adjust headspace and timing — tweaks made to the gun that allow it to fire safely. (The U.S. Army upgraded a number of their .50 cals to the M2A1, which doesn’t require headspace & timing adjustments).

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

Once it’s ready to go, soldiers place the rounds on the feed tray, make sure the cover is closed, and pull the bolt to the rear to load the weapon.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

Then it’s ready to rock and roll. The .50 can fire in single shot or fully automatic mode.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

At the rear, soldiers grab the “spade” handle and fire it using a butterfly trigger. They need to be careful however: There’s no safety mechanism to prevent accidental discharge (Some variants have been fielded which feature a positive safety selector).

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

While it’s most often mounted to vehicles in a rotating turret …

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

… Ma Deuce can also be found on the side of helicopters.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

And with the use of a tripod, it can also be fired very effectively from the ground.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

Correction: This post was updated with new information to reflect the fielding of the M2A1 variant and other versions, which feature safety selectors, and don’t require the need for adjustments to headspace and timing.

MIGHTY MOVIES

‘The Mandalorian’ recap: Episode 2 is fun, if slow

After that delightful reveal in Chapter One, the second episode of The Mandalorian takes its time and remains on-planet, following just Mando our Mandalorian, Nick Nolte aka the Ugnaught aka Kuiil, and the cutest little bounty in the galaxy. Let’s get right to it.

Here’s your spoiler warning.


7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

MELINDA SUE GORDON/LUCASFILM LTD

It seems that when we open, our Mandalorian is still intent on returning “The Asset” to “The Client” (see what creator Jon Favreau is doing there? The Mandalorian…The Client…The Bounty…The Asset….it’s a cute naming device for the series).

Side note: we already know he’s not actually going to give the Yoda Baby to The Client, right? I guess unless he pulls some a Lando Calrissian and turns in the bounty but then goes and rescues the bounty?

Anyway, our Mandalorian is attacked by a team of Trandoshans with a tracking fob, which gives a nice sense of urgency for our hero: other bounty hunters are looking for this asset and more will be on their way.

Also read: ‘The Mandalorian’ episode 1 is everything you hoped it would be

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

Honestly how has Mando not pinched the crap out of those little cheeks?

The Mandalorian, Disney+

That night, we get the first inkling that the Yoda Baby is Force-sensitive when (I don’t want to make any gender assumptions here…so I’m just going to continue to adamantly avoid third-person pronouns) the child attempts to help mend our Mandalorian’s armor. The child climbs out of it’s floating bassinet a number of times, reaching the cutest little hand ever out to summon the Force, only to be interrupted by the impatient Mandalorian.

When they do finally return to his ship the next day, our Mandalorian catches Jawas scavenging the Razer Crest for parts. He blasts a number of them (like, he’s not even trying to limit the amount of violence he exposes the baby to?) and pursues the rest as they flee in their Sandcrawler. Surprisingly, they get the best of him, zapping him off the top and leaving him unconscious in their dust.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

That’s totally going to leave a stain.

The Mandalorian, Disney+

Reuniting with his buddy Kuiil, our Mandalorian seeks a trade with the Jawas. Also, the Yoda Baby ate a space frog alive and I guess I’ll just repress that information and work through it on my own time.

The Jawas are interested in our Mandalorian’s armor, but he refuses to trade, as it is part of his “religion.” A bit of nerdy context here for you: the Mandalorians are a warrior culture who were once devoted to a god of war and destruction. As time passed, they abandoned the fanatic worship of war in favor of a philosophical pursuit of the manda, a collective consciousness that can be reached in the afterlife by those who follow the tenets of Mandalorian culture.

Instead, the Jawas demand “the egg” and set our Mandalorian on a quest.

The egg, it turns out, is protected by a space-rhinoceros, who kicks our Mandalorian’s ass and nearly finishes him…until the Yoda Baby summons the Force and restrains the beast, levitating her in the air and finally dropping her, allowing our Mandalorian to finish her off with his dagger.

This use of the Force summons all of the energy of the Yoda Baby, who falls unconscious after the incident.

Our Mandalorian returns to the muddy cave, uncovers the disgusting hairy egg, and delivers it to the Jawas.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

I think I’m going to be sick.

The Mandalorian, Disney+

Satisfied with their thick space yolk (shudder), the Jawas return the Razer Crest parts to our Mandalorian, allowing him and Kuiil to repair the ship. Our Mandalorian offers Kuiil money and a job aboard his ship, but the Ugnaught is content to have peace in his valley and he bids the bounty hunter adieu.

Our Mandalorian sets off into the stars, presumably to deliver his bounty.

Or will he?

I’ma getchu.https://twitter.com/kylospadawan/status/1194295798328168451 …

twitter.com



popular

How R. Lee Ermey’s Hollywood break is an inspiration to us all

While there have been many outstanding actors and celebrities who have raised their right hand, there has never been a veteran who could finger point his way to the top of Hollywood stardom quite like the late great Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey.


Ronald Lee Ermey, like many of us, was a mischievous kid and teenager. At the age of 17, the judge gave him a choice that would forever change him: Juvenile Detention or military service. The Corps did him right and he did right by the Corps, eventually becoming a Drill Instructor at Marine Corps Recruit Depot in San Diego and deploying to Vietnam with the Marine Wing Support Group 17.

 

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Actor and Retired Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt. R. Lee Ermey (center on right) with his 1966 Marine recruits at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot in San Diego. (U.S. Marine Corps)

 

After being medically retired for injuries incurred during service, Ermey attended the University of Manilla to study drama where he met his future wife, Nila Ermey. He also had his first taste of Hollywood with a bit role in the Sidney J. Furie film The Boys from Company C, which was a precursor to and inspiration for Full Metal Jacket where he would also be cast as a Drill Instructor.

His acumen capturing the warrior on film led him to be called directly on set for Apocalypse Now.

Frances Ford Coppola had filmed his Vietnam War-era epic not too far from Ermey’s university in The Philippines. Ermey became the technical advisor to the man who directed The Godfather; Ermey let Coppola know how things were actually done in Vietnam.

He also scored his next acting role as a blink-and-you’ll-miss-him helicopter pilot during the famous “Ride of the Valkyries” scene.

 

Once you see it’s him, you’ll recognize his voice on the intercom through the scene.

He would continue to act in other films that fit his range, like a Jaws knock-off called Up from the Depths and a sappy Vietnam War romance film called Purple Hearts. Neither would go down as cinematic masterpieces — but it was his passion. He kept busy until he was offered to be the technical advisor for Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket.

For the non-cinema buffs who are unaware of Kubrick’s directing style, he wasn’t the easiest man to work with. The script had to be followed to a “T” and improv was strictly forbidden. The infamous scene in The Shining where Wendy frantically swings a baseball bat at Jack took 127 takes to get right — that was the level of perfection Kubrick worked with.

 

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Needless to say, his sets can be intense. (Warner Bros.)

None of that threw Ermey. The story goes that while filming, Ermey had worked extensively with the original Gunny Hartman, portrayed by Tim Colceri. Ermey had written 150 pages of insults that would naturally flow out of a Drill Instructor’s mouth — and nearly none of them were used. The few that were chosen came across as weak and nonthreatening.

Ermey did what every good Devil Dog would do in a situation like this. He bulldogged Colceri (would eventually be recast as the door gunner who screams “Get some!“) off camera. He barked insults at the scared actors while channeling his real Drill Instructor past. And he did everything off the cuff.

Kubrick was so impressed he kept Ermey as Gunny Hartman, despite being contrary to every directing technique he used.

Ermey would be nominated at the 1988 Golden Globes for his role of Gunny Hartman and would become a main stay in pop culture icon and the first impression many have of military life.


Feature image: Warner Bros.

MIGHTY MOVIES

5 reasons why being a super soldier would actually suck

In comic books and superhero movies, there’s a constant trope about average troops being given superpowers to match their immense bravery and honest heart. From a story perspective, it makes sense. And according to the bumper stickers on most military spouses’ mini-vans, not all heroes wear capes after all.


But in real life, if you manage to survive a super-soldier project, you won’t be doing much superhero work. Take a look at Captain America for instance.

1. Uncle Sam would get his money’s worth

There isn’t an exact number put to how much it would cost to become a super soldier, but Forbes estimates the cost of Captain America at $54.6 Million. There’s no way you’d get away with having that much money spent on you without constantly having to do military stuff.

You probably won’t be doing Special Ops stuff, either. Your name and face would be everywhere and that’s simply too much money to put on the line. Plus, if the Army learned you could clean an entire Connex in one minute, guess what you’ll be doing…

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
That, or selling war bonds… (Paramount Pictures)

2. Everyone expects the best from you

Good luck trying to take it easy for a single moment.

You’re going to be constantly working. You’ll be on the move non-stop, saving everyone and doing the right thing. Even if the pressure weighs you down, you’ll have to keep saving everyone.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
God forbid you take a nap for 70 years… (Paramount Pictures)

3. No more private life

A common theme in comic books and movies is the protagonist trying to balance their public, superhero life and a personal life. That balance wouldn’t be a thing for super soldiers.

They just don’t get the opportunity to BE civilians. If they do have a personal life, it’ll still just be doing regular military stuff.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
You’re still never going to watch all those films you told people you’d eventually get around to seeing. (Walt Disney Studios)

4. No more getting drunk

Captain America doesn’t have a real weakness — except one. His superpowers and accelerated metabolism work too hard for him to get drunk.

No matter how much he drinks, he’ll never get the pleasure of stumbling home after the bars close.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
At least you can hold your own with a Norse god. (Walt Disney Studios)

5. You’re never getting promoted… ever…

Once you’ve been given your superhero name, you can’t really change it. It’s your new identity. That’s fine for every other superhero, but it’s terrible for Captain America.

The ‘Captain’ in Captain America isn’t some clever name. It was Captain Steve Rogers’ actual rank in the U.S. Army. In The Ultimates, at least Colonel Nick Fury gets promoted to General.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Over 80 years of service and never promoted to Major. (Sony Pictures)

Bonus: At least chicks dig superheroes in uniform

It could be all the badass things he’s done in WWII, it could also be the CIB he rocks, or it could even be the Pinks and Greens he’s wearing. Either way…

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
It’s totally the P&G’s. (Paramount Pictures)

Humor

6 reasons why Marines hate on the Air Force

The military community is huge on rivalry and houses some of the most inventive d*ck measuring contests you can think of. Each branch is currently and forever waging a friendly war with one another that has no signs of stopping — not that we’d want it to.


We hate on each other for various reasons, but at the end of the day — we’re still on the same side.

Now, when Marines think about the men and women of the Air Force, they automatically think of them being hardcore.

We’re kidding. Marines don’t remotely think that and constantly hate on airmen for various reasons.

Related: 9 reasons you should have joined the Marines instead

So check out these six reasons why Marines hate on the Air Force. Shots fired (but all in good fun).

6. Marines have it tougher.

Air Force boot camp is slightly less than eight-weeks long; Marine Corps boot camp, however, is about 13 grueling weeks long. Recruits tend to join the Air Force either because they feel the Corps’ boot camp is too tough, or the Marine recruiters “just weren’t in the office that day” (cough, bullsh*t, cough).

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Who looks tougher?

5. The Air Force has the best chow halls in the military. But why? Because they need all their energy to fight fly drones?

That does look glorious, though…

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Freakin’ beautiful in comparison.

4. Even celebrities who visit airmen wear Marine Corps issue.

Chuck Norris, Bugz Bunny, and Bob Hope are just a few honorary Marines. How many cool celebrities are honorary airmen? Go ahead — name one!

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Everyone knows Marines have the coolest reputation.

3. They get cute little command coins when they graduate vs. the beloved Eagle, Global, and Anchor after completing the “Crucible.”

Need we say more?

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
Look at the clean smile on this airman’s face vs. the absolute pride on this newly made Marine’s face. Stay precious, Air Force. OO-RAH

2. Their living conditions are considered five-star compared to the Corps’.

We love the teddy bear and string light additions. It really makes the room pop.

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad
There’s no photoshopping here ladies and gents. These images are freakin’ real.

Also Read: 7 reasons why you shouldn’t be too nice in the military

1. Air Force boot camp looks fun as f*ck!

I literally know an Air Force officer who said the most challenging part of boot camp was she laughed too much…

 

That is all.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information