Hitler's secret Nazi war machines of World War II - We Are The Mighty
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Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo: German National Archives


Earlier this week, the world reflected on the 76th anniversary of the start of World War II — when Hitler’s Nazi army invaded Poland.

Hitler’s engineers secretly developed some of the most ambitious projects and rapidly produced sophisticated technology decades before its time.

In the 2015 fall issue of Weapons of WWII magazine, author KM Lee detailed some of Hitler’s advanced weaponry.

Here’s a look at are some of the secret, lethal weapons the Nazis created during World War II:

Hitler’s stealth ‘flying wing’ bomber

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Model of the Hoerten Ho 229 bomber at the San Diego Air and Space Museum. Photo: Wikipedia/Toeknee25

Referred to as “Hitler’s secret weapon,” the Horten Ho 229 bomber was designed to carry 2,000 pounds of armaments while flying at 49,000 feet at speeds north of 600 mph.

Equipped with twin turbojet engines, two cannons, and R4M rockets, the Horten Ho 229 was the world’s first stealth aircraft and took its first flight in 1944.

Source: Weapons of WWII magazine

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo: US War Department

According to the Smithsonian, Nazi Luftwaffe chief Hermann Göring allocated half a million Reich Marks to brothers Reimar and Walter Horten to manufacture the aircraft.

Plagued with problems, the Horten didn’t last long in combat. Instead, the bomber’s engineering did inspire today’s modern stealth aircraft — like the Northrop Gruman B-2 bomber.

Source: Weapons of WWII magazine

The Fritz X radio-guided bomb

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo: US Air Force

Considered the “grandfather of smart bombs,” the Fritz X was a 3,450-pound explosive equipped with a radio receiver and sophisticated tail controls that helped guide the bomb to its target.

According to the US Air Force, the Fritz X could penetrate 28 inches of armor and could be deployed from 20,000 feet, an altitude out of reach for antiaircraft equipment at the time.

Less than a month after it was developed, the Nazis sank Italian battleship Roma off Sardinia in September 1943. However, the Fritz X’s combat use was limited since only a few Luftwaffe aircraft were designed to carry the bomb.

Source: Weapons of WWII magazine

A remote-controlled tracked mine

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo: Wikipedia

The Nazis’ Goliath tracked mine was anything but Goliath-like in stature. Known as the “Doodlebug” by US troops, the mini-tank was controlled with a joystick and powered by two electric motors, later replaced by gas burners.

Goliath was designed to carry between 133 and 220 pounds of high explosives and was used to navigate minefields and deliver its explosive payload to defensive positions.

The Nazis built more than 7,000 Goliaths during the war and paved the way for radio-controlled weapons.

Source: Weapons of WWII magazine

Here’s a video of Goliath taking out a tank:

via GIPHY

A rocket-powered plane that was nearly 300 mph quicker than the fastest aircraft around

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo: Screengrab

By the late 1930s, the Germans were developing the Messerschmitt Me 163 Komet, a rocket-powered jet with speeds of up to 700 mph.

“During this time the vaunted American P-51 Mustang fighter, in comparison, topped out at less than 440 mph,” according to Weapons of WWII magazine.

More than 300 Komets were built and equipped with twin 30 mm cannons. The Komet’s speed was both a gift and a curse. The plane was fast enough to avoid Allied gunners but it was too fast to hit Allied aircraft.

Watch the Komet take down an Allied B-17

via GIPHY

More from Business Insider:

This article originally appeared at Business Insider Defense. Copyright 2015. Follow BI Defense on Twitter.

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The 13 funniest military memes of the week

We cover the military and we’re on the internet. Military memes are kind of a given.


1. Is it too much to ask? (via Terminal Lance)

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

2. Dear Disney, we will buy all the tickets to this movie.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

SEE ALSO: 4 military fails so awful they’re actually hilarious

3. You are what you eat (Via Sh-t My LPO Says).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
At least he’ll get a profile pic out of this.

4. Things you don’t want your future squad to see:

(via Military Memes)

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Why is his battle buddy standing at almost-attention?

5. Civilians think you’ve learned 100 ways to kill a man … (via Marine Corps Memes)

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
… but we know you’ve learned 17 ways to police call a smoke pit.

6. No basic training instructor will appreciate the “irony” of you wearing another branch’s camo (via Coast Guard Memes).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Just wear a Tapout T-shirt like everyone else.

7. “You have three days to accept this challenge …”

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

8. Some paintings call for happy trees, some call for other embellishments (via Military Memes).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Bob Ross knows which paintings need what.

9. Don’t let Marines get bored. It rarely ends well (via Military Memes).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
It’s entertaining, but it doesn’t end well.

10. From the 12th to the 14th, and the 28th to 31st (via Terminal Lance).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Every. Single. Month.

11. I mean, at least no one can tell him his ribbons are wrong after that (via Navy Memes).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

 12. God may forgive you (via Sh-t My LPO Says).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
But, the platoon sergeant is a bit harder to convince.

13. How the US Air Force calls a bluff.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
USAF can do this all day, guys.

NOW: 17 wild facts about the Vietnam War

OR: 11 military propaganda posters that are surprisingly convincing

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7 military things that somehow get you fired in the civilian world

Getting your paperwork to Fort Couch seems like the sweetest gig in the world. However, you’ll soon realize that while you’ve spent the last however-many years having the civilian broken out of you, the rest of them have kept their “civilian mentality” completely intact.

You may think the military trained you well enough to handle a world full of PowerPoint presentations, but that’s not even scratching the surface. These are some of the many roadblocks you’ll run into in the civilian workplace that may have you explaining to HR that you’re, in fact, not crazy, just military-raised.

7. Breaking highly sensitive equipment

In the military, everything is expendable from a certain point of view. If you smash something, there’s almost always someone on standby to fix it. Weapon? Armory. Radios? Radio guy. Everything else? Supply.


In the civilian world, wanton smashing will get you a stern talking-to.

We get all “accidentally” break things sometimes. (Image via GIPHY)

6. Crashing the company vehicle

If you crash a Humvee and you didn’t destroy anything too valuable in the process, you’ll get chewed out and maybe a reduction in rank, but you’re still going to be around the following week.

If you go joyriding in the company vehicle and don’t track the mileage, let alone smash it into a fire hydrant because you were trying to tactically park it as expediently as possible, you might end up in a performance-evaluation meeting.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

5. Inter-office pranks

Sure, it may seem like fun to throwdown in random Nerf wars between cubicles, but when you join in, kick in the break room door, flip the table over for a hasty firing position, and lay down suppressive fire so you can bound to the fridge to get a more sturdy firing position, you might get a few stares.

Especially if you’re the one who starts it… and the only one doing it… (Image via GIPHY)

4. Telling off your coworkers

Apparently, civilians don’t appreciate being called “f*ckface” in the middle of a meeting on Monday morning because they didn’t answer their emails on a Saturday.

In the civilian world, if you do slip up and call that f*ckface a “f*ckface,” blame it on a lack of morning coffee. That seems to work.

Yes. Lack of coffee. Perfect excuse. (Image via GIPHY)

3. “Tactically acquiring” (totally not stealing) office supplies

Fraud, waste, and abuse is considered a thing in the outside world. You can’t just pocket supplies on the down-low to trade them for other supplies with the guy in the cubicle on the third floor. Especially if these supplies are more than just pens, batteries, or Gerber multi-tools.

“Gear adrift is a gift” totally counts for food in the break room. (Image via GIPHY)

2. Walking into any establishment with a weapon

Back in the day, if you heard someone scream “WHERE THE HELL DID I PUT MY RIFLE!?” no one batted an eye. If you reacted, it’s because someone who wasn’t armed should’ve been.

For some reason, civilians get antsy around weapons. Rifles, handguns, and even the 7-inch KA-BAR strapped to your ankle are all no-nos.

1. Showing up hungover every single weekday

Everyone wants to pretend that it’s cool to drink or that it’s hip to have a nightcap or two before bed until they run into someone who’s made alcoholism a dedicated profession.

If you find yourself hungover beyond function, blame it on the previously mentioned “lack of morning coffee.” Civilians are so accustomed to coffee that they have more than your standard “sh*t” and “decent” varieties of coffee.

*Bonus* Letting your sense of humor show

It’s all fun and games until you have to stop and explain why your sense of humor isn’t crazy. Sometimes, civilians just don’t get your dark and f*cked up sense of humor — so play it close to the chest.

(Image via GIPHY)

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Here’s The Hilarious Result Of Mashing Up Left Shark With Famous Military Quotes

We all know by now that Left Shark was the big hit of the big Super Bowl game, but he’s also pretty influential in military circles.


Well, at least he should be. Check out these famous military quotes with the infamous Gen. Left Shark, the hero we need and deserve.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

Gen. James “Mad Shark” Mattis is not afraid to fail, whether behind Katy Perry or in front of Marines.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

You shouldn’t be bummed just because you’re decisively engaged. Smile as you practice your marksmanship.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

Gen. George S. Patton, Jr. reminded Katy Perry and Right Shark that if they can’t lead properly, Left Shark will make it’s own choreography.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

Sure, there are plenty of dancers on the stage. But only one is Greek Left Shark Hericlitus.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

Mad Shark Mattis reminds his enemies that, yes, he wants peace, but he has endless teeth to destroy those who don’t.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

Sgt. Left Shark wants good morale, and he will have it by any means necessary.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

Gen. Left Shark Patton Jr. knows how you win wars.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

Gen. Left Shark Sherman brought great destruction across the South during the Civil War. When protests reached him, he was unapologetic.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

Sgt. Maj. Dan Left Shark Daly might be able to live forever, but he doesn’t see any reason to.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

General Douglas Left Shark McArthur never went in for ball point pens when firings pins were an option.

Articles

The US military took these incredible photos this week

The military has very talented photographers in its ranks, and they constantly attempt to capture what life as a service member is like during training and at war. This is the best of what they shot this week:


NAVY

An MV-22 Osprey takes off from the flight deck of the amphibious assault ship USS Bonhomme Richard (LHD 6).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo by: Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Taylor A. Elberg/USN

MARINETTE, Wis., (July 18, 2015) The littoral combat ship Pre-Commissioning Unit (PCU) Little Rock (LCS 9) is launched into the Menominee River in Marinette, Wisc. after a christening ceremony at the Marinette Marine Corporation shipyard.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo by: USN

MARINE CORPS

Lance Cpl. David Sellers, a refrigeration mechanic with the 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit, embraces his wife with a kiss during the Command Element’s homecoming at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo by: Cpl. Todd F. Michalek/USMC

I SAW You

A Marine with Golf Company, 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marines provides cover for fellow Marines moving between buildings during a military operations in urban terrain training event aboard Camp Lejeune, N.C.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo by: Lance Cpl. Chris Garcia/USMC

SOUTHWEST, Asia – U.S. Marine Lance Cpl. Zachary Claus and Lance Cpl. Luis Alvarez, avionics technicians with Marine Medium Tiltrotor Squadron – 165 (VMM – 165), Special Purpose Marine Air – Ground Task Force – Crisis Response – Central Command, take multimeter readings from the engine of an MV–22 Osprey.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo by: Lance Cpl. Garrett White/USMC

ARMY

Marines assigned to 1st Reconnaissance Battalion, 1st Marine Division, and an Army instructor assigned to U.S. Army Alaska‘s Northern Warfare Training Center, conduct military alpine operations, at Black Rapids Training Site and Gulkana Glacier.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo by: Staff Sgt. Sean Callahan/US Army

A soldier, assigned to the Georgia National Guard, fires a Mark 19 40-mm grenade machine gun from a Humvee during mounted weapons qualification, part of the unit’s annual training, at Fort Stewart, Ga., July 21, 2015.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo by: Capt. William Carraway/National Guard

AIR FORCE

The Thunderbirds Delta Formation flies over Niagara Falls, N.Y., July 20, 2015.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo by: Senior Airman Jason Couillard/USAF

Five members of the U.S. Air Force Thunderbirds fly in formation behind a KC-135 Stratotanker assigned to McConnell Air Force Base, Kan, July 23, 2015. The Thunderbirds are the Air Force’s premier air demonstration team and perform at different events across the country every year.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo by: Senior Airman Victor J. Caputo/USAF

COAST GUARD

Line handlers from the Coast Guard Cutter Spencer moor the Coast Guard Barque Eagle in Boston, Thursday, July 23, 2015. The Eagle was operated by the pre-World War II German navy and taken as a war reparation by the U.S., is now a training ship where cadets and officer candidates learn leadership and practical seamanship skills.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo by: Petty Officer 2nd Class Cynthia Oldham/USCG

The Coast Guard Barque Eagle is in Boston Harbor, Thursday, July 23, 2015. The Eagle, operated by the pre-World War II German navy and taken as a war reparation by the U.S., is now a training ship where cadets and officer candidates learn leadership and practical seamanship skills.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo by: Petty Officer 2nd Class Cynthia Oldham/USCG

NOW: More awesome military photos

OR: The 13 funniest military memes of the week

Lists

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

Lieutenants never get much respect. What do you expect, though? You send a 22-year-old new college grad to officer candidates school for a few weeks and expect him to be in charge of a platoon of grizzled combat veterans… What could possibly go wrong? It’s the brain-damaged leading the blind. Every rank has some major archetypes, and lieutenants are no different. Here are six types you’re probably already familiar with.


1. Lt. Clueless

 

Quote: “If that’s not how we’re supposed to use a compass, then why did they teach it at The Basic School?”

The conventional view is that ALL lieutenants are clueless, but that can’t really be the case, or else the service would be even more screwed than it already is. All LTs take a while to get up to speed, but Lt. Clueless seems to be coming more undone every day, not less.

He’s smart enough to graduate college in basketweaving, phys ed, criminal justice, or some similar bullsh*t degree, but not smart enough to keep track of his own rifle. The upside is that stealing his firing pin will be easier.

Everyone under Clueless is counting the hours until the company commander finally figures out that one of his platoon commanders spends his free time chewing crayons. They just hope it comes before deployment, when some of them might have to patrol with him.

Also read: 8 things a boot lieutenant should never say

2. Lt. Tacticool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5IWHxiwYMg

 

Quote: “I got this kickass rig online at Brigade Quartermaster. Yeah, it’s Kydex.”

One of the best things about the military is that it lets you play with cool toys. Don’t tell Lt. Tacticool that the gear he’s issued is really all he needs, because that’s not the point. The point is to be just a little better equipped than anyone else. He spends his entire paycheck shopping online for the same gear used by Delta Force. Lt. Tacticool works in admin or in logistics or as a pilot. That doesn’t stop him from needing dumbass items, like a drop holster that can’t be worn on a walk longer than 100 meters but looks absolutely badass.

If the gun doesn’t work, though, he’s got three concealed punch knives as backup. Don’t worry. He’ll make up for all the extra weight with $200 custom gel boot inserts.

That isn’t to say that there aren’t Tacticools in the infantry, but the laughter of their fellow lieutenants usually shames them into relative normalcy before too many enlisted grunts join in on the ribbing. These LTs live in closeted gear-queerness, wasting their paychecks in more subtle ways, like snatching up $1,000 GPS altimeter watches.

3. Lt. Beast

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-aFqq8aAWA

 

Quote: “I can’t believe they pay me to do this sh*t! Hells yeah!

The Beast, on the other hand, does reside disproportionately in the combat arms. It’s just as well because if he were in logistics, all his troops would be hiding under their desks by the end of the day. Everyone else groans when a unit hump is announced. The Beast adds extra weight to his pack. He says, “If it ain’t rainin’, we ain’t trainin’!” unironically.

The Beast honestly can’t figure why others don’t enjoy it when things suck. He thinks “embrace the suck” is a religion, not a sarcastic comment. He’s into Crossfit because of course he is. He’s also signed up for Tough Mudder, Spartan Race, and some obscure event involving dragging one’s testicles through broken glass for 26.2 miles in the Sierra Nevadas.

The Beast is absolutely the perfect individual to have around in the middle of a close-quarters battle. Unfortunately, he’s also the last individual you want anywhere that isn’t in the middle of an active firefight.

Related: 4 epic reasons why Lieutenant Dan needs his own movie

4. Lt. Nerd

 

Quote: “My paper on military organization based on fractal principles is getting published in Joint Forces Quarterly next month!”

Lt. Nerd is, on paper, the perfect military officer. He went to a good school and was near the top of his class in all of his training. He’s read the Professional Military Education reading list through colonel. He’s working on his master’s degree. He’s even starting a new podcast next week, called Tactics Talk, so he can share his hard-earned wisdom with upwards of half a dozen people.

He is doing great, at least in his own mind. Unfortunately, the military is basically high school. The jocks run the school. Even though he has bars on his collar, the Nerd gets no respect.

5. Lt. Mustang

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh-vuomKdRg

 

Quote: “Gunny, really? What. The. F*ck.”

The prior-enlisted officer, or “Mustang,” is definitely a little different than the typical lieutenant, not least because he’s nearly a decade years older than most of his peers. He has a few more tattoos than them, too.

Knowing the ropes is his superpower. PT, usually not so much. He’s gained a few pounds and lost a few steps compared to his new, young friends in the officer corps.

Most of the enlisted think it’s great that their lieutenant was once one of them. The platoon sergeant isn’t necessarily so thrilled. He’s pleased to get a lieutenant that he doesn’t need to hide sharp objects from. On the other hand, he can’t get rid of his lieutenant for a whole day by asking him to pick up a box of grid squares.

More: The basic civilian’s guide to NCOs vs. Officers

6. Lt. Niedermeyer

 

Quote: “Is that a wrinkle… on your uniform!”

Military life naturally attracts those with attention to detail and a desire for order. Unfortunately, there can always be too much of a good thing.

You can generally find Lt. Niedermeyer in the parking lot, trolling for salutes — or, rather, for those missing salutes — so he can joyfully berate them. Of course, a true Niedermeyer counsels like a drill instructor — loudly, yet sans profanity, because profanity would be contrary to regulations. Doggone it, Devil Dog!

The good thing about Niedermeyer is that he always follows the rules. The bad thing about Niedermeyer is that he always follows the rules. The worst thing is that if you want to know who your commanding general will be in 20 years or so, look no further because Niedermeyer is going places.

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Here’s how the military takes civilian tech and makes it more awesome

The military has given the civilian world some great technology like satellites, GPS, and the internet. But, in other cases the services have adopted civilian tech and taken it to the next level of awesomeness in the process. Here are 7 examples:


1. Tow trucks

Military tow trucks need to do things like picking up M1 Abrams tanks that weigh 62 metric tons. Plus, they have to be able to defend themselves in hostile environments. Enter the M88A2. It can tow up to 70 tons, has a .50-cal. machine gun, and can survive direct hits from 30mm shells.

2. Backhoes

Like the M88 above, the WISENT 2 operates in combat zones while doing the hard job of digging and bulldozing. The WISENT is based on a Leopard 2 battle tank. It has different attachments including a bulldozer blade, a mine plough, and an excavator arm that can dig feet 14 ft. deep with a 42 cubic ft. bucket.

3. Four-wheelers

The first four-wheeler was the Royal Enfield quadricycle in 1898. Unsurprisingly, when World War I broke out, Royal Enfield sold dozens to the British government for war use. Today, paratroopers and special operators are using the Light Tactical All-Terrain Vehicle, basically a Polaris Razor with better tires and shocks as well as weapons, antennas, and litter mounts strapped to it.

4. Bridges

Battlefield commanders need bridges that can go up quickly, survive direct attacks, and be moved rapidly. The military has multiple solutions to this problem, including the Armored, Vehicle-Launched Bridge. The launcher is mounted on an M60 tank platform, and engineers can launch the bridge without ever getting out of the vehicle.

5. Stethoscopes

The noise immune stethoscope is designed to help medics hear a patient’s heartbeat around machine gun fire or in a helicopter. It works by sending a signal into the patient’s body, reading the return signal, and playing the information into a headset.

6. Prosthetics

Until the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan prosthetics had essentially remained the same since the first known artificial limb. The number of wounded warriors and the nature of their injuries has caused agencies like DARPA to change all of that, bringing prosthetics into the 21st Century in the process. The new devices allow for greater dexterity, greater range of motion, and even a sense of touch.

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4 gross non-battle injuries medics have to look at

Corpsmen and medics who serve in the infantry have their work cut out for them. They wake up at the butt-crack of dawn for patrol, maybe get shot at a few times, then head back to base to eat chow.


They serve as infantrymen until they have to kick into doctor mode and patch up their buddies’ wounds; this involves putting their hands into some weird cavities, but it’s all part of the job.

Every once in a while they may even have to take care of the bad guys for various reasons. Sometimes it’s just for a simple sore throat and other times it’s for something a whole lot nastier.

 Related: 5 key differences between Army medics and Navy corpsmen

War is fought in some dirty places, like the trenches of World War I, the foxholes of World War II, and the jungles of Vietnam. Many of the injuries medics treat on the battlefield don’t come from bullets or bombs — they’re from unsanitary conditions.

So check out these gross things medics have to look at and be able to treat on a day-to-day basis.

1. Ingrown toenails

Ingrown toenails are the result of poor foot care and bad grooming practices.

A well-executed toenail extraction. (Images via Giphy)

2. MRSA

Stands for “Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus” and it’s meaner than your ordinary pimple. On the surface, it doesn’t look too frightening. But below the skin, it’s chewing you up.

See a professional before popping. (Images via Giphy)

3. Mouth ulcers

With a variety of known causes, mouth ulcers are typically related to a viral infection in the body. Pain management is required or everything that touches the sores will hurt.

I told you everything hurt a mouth sore. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: 6 things corpsmen should know before going to the ‘Greenside’

4. Bacterial conjunctivitis

Better known as pink eye, the beginning stage isn’t so bad. But left untreated, the condition could lead to losing an eye. What’s nasty about this ailment is that it’s typically produced by poop particles floating in the air and getting in your eyes.

Anyone can get pink eye so wear your eye protection out there, people.  (Images via Giphy)What gross non-battle things have you seen on deployment? Comment below.

Articles

13 funniest memes for the week of Oct. 28

Halloween is coming up, so we hope everyone has a great costume lined up, unlike most years when everyone just trades uniforms with a member of a different service for the night. Soldiers going as airmen, sailors going as Marines. It’s all cutting edge stuff.


Before you head into the housing areas to beg your first sergeants for candy, check out these 13 funny military memes:

1. Wait. Do airmen get only three shots?

(via Air Force Memes Humor)

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Didn’t everyone have to do the walk of needles?

2. Well, at least you can apply that penny to the repair bill (via Military Memes).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Only a couple billion more pennies to go.

3.  Back to basics, Marines (via Marine Corps Memes).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Grab your powder horns.

ALSO READ: That time US soldiers pretended to be vampires and ghosts to scare the hell out of the enemy

4. “Meh. This is the next watch’s problem.” (via Coast Guard Memes)

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Better write it up in the log, though.

5. Uh, Germany did this and got to stay Airborne (via Do You Even Airborne, Bro?).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
They did it a couple of times in one day.

6. Make your life decisions carefully, folks (via Military Memes).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Going to college starts to look a lot better after you’ve already enlisted.

7. When your tie-down job lasts longer than the trailer, truck, or load:

(via Team Non-Rec)

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Good job, whoever did the loading. Driver, not so much.

8. Russia fields its new, rapidly deployable force:

(via Military Memes).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

9. Combat rock painter:

(via The Salty Soldier)

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
There are some Army details that almost no one writes home about.

10. “A-10 a song” is the best (via Air Force Nation).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

11. Someone doesn’t appreciate the Air Force (via Coast Guard Memes).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
And some meme writer doesn’ love the Coast Guard much.

12. In his defense, there’s a solid chance that he’s faking it (via Military Memes).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
I know some people who might fake it in this situation.

13. When your vehicle recovery plan leaves something to be desired:

(via Military Memes).

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Maybe bring a wrecker with you next time.

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The 13 Funniest Military Memes This Week

It’s Friday, you know the drill. Here are 13 military memes to make you laugh.


In Alien Guy’s defense, B-2’s are alien aircraft in most airspaces.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
And they can do nearly as much damage as those Independence Day aliens.

Hey, the weekend is here!

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Oh, um, I’m sure the weekend will be here soon.

 Now playing at your local recruiter’s office …

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
… the story of a hardened piece of metal and the M16 he loved. And yes, it’s “Twilight.”

That moment when a recruiter’s lies …

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
… are exposed by drill sergeant’s truths.

Loving civilian housing is a kind of mutual attraction.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Seriously, a few pastors must spend all their time officiating junior enlisted weddings.

I’m not playing video games, I’m practicing tactics.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Warning, no respawns in real life.

Fix your boot display.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

Tall tower where your screens and windows will show you everything on base …

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
… except a single set of discharge papers.

I honestly believe he’s made this face in a firefight at least 1/2 a dozen times.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

His girlfriend probably requested this costume.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Either that, or stolen valor is getting much easier to spot.

There is a way to motivate them!

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Then he took his fries back.

This is why the Army rarely “asks” for volunteers.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

ISIS just keeps looking for soldiers and Marines.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
We could also fit you in between PT and breakfast chow.

NOW: The Best Military Meals Ready-To-Eat, Ranked 

OR: The 7 Coolest High-Tech Projects The Military Is Currently Working On 

Articles

7 reasons why you shouldn’t be too nice in the military

Everybody wants to be liked in one way or another — we all want to fit in.


In the military, if you’re not liked by your fellow service members (especially your chain of command), you’re going to have a harder time getting promoted.

If you show respect to everyone, that should help you maneuver your way through a successful military career. But there is a fine line between being too nice and showing others respect.

Okay, we will. (Image via Giphy)

Related: 7 military regs service members violate every day

So check out our list of why you shouldn’t be too nice in the military.

1. Your fellow brothers and sisters will end up venting to you on a daily basis.

If you’re that sweet guy or gal who is nice enough to listen to everybody’s problems — stand by for handing out free therapy sessions.

Best news ever! (Image via Giphy)

2. You just might get put into someone’s friend zone.

You know that hot guy or girl who works down at supply?

Because you haven’t shown signs of having a backbone — instead of going out with them on Saturday night — you’re going to be watching them leave the barracks with your co-worker who has a backbone.

They’re not coming back anytime soon. (Image via Giphy)

3. People will ask for favors — a lot of favors.

You know how you’re bad at saying no because you’re too nice?  Well, have fun standing somebody else’s duty Saturday night while they’re off having an excellent time at the bar.

FML. (Image via Giphy)

4. If you get even a little upset, everyone will think the “nice guy” is going crazy.

You listen to everyone’s problems 24/7, but when you decide to emote at all — everyone now thinks you’re the crazy one.

It’s okay for everyone else, but just not the nice guy or gal. (Image via Giphy)

5. You could get pushed to the side.

People have crazy schedules this day and age. So when they need to make space in their lives for something important, they might reschedule a meeting with you — the accommodating one — to make room.

Son-of-a-b*tch! (Image via Giphy)

6. Your chain of command could assign you extra duty.

Many times a bad assignment will come down the pipeline, and your chain of command needs to assign someone to work an outside event. If you’re that person who rarely gives anyone sh*t, you may be the one they ask to come on in on Saturday because you never say no.

Yeah. So, we’re going to need you to come in on Saturday. (Image via Giphy)

Also Read: 7 ways to prove your spouse a spy

7. People ask you for help all the freakin’ time.

That is all.

Being too nice can be painful. (Image via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Articles

5 meals that won wars (and how to make them)

Before my first deployment, I heard all kinds of horror stories about lettuce sandwiches, green powdered eggs, and sludge-like coffee. When I wasn’t MREating, I found myself at the DFAC, Air Force parlance for the mess tent, chow hall, or cafeteria. Although I did find green eggs (no ham) in a few remote field kitchens, the modern overseas stations had some fairly impressive meal options and, except for the atrocity that was the pasta carbonara (featuring bologna and spaghetti sauce – looking at you Camp Victory), life at mealtime was pretty good. It still is if Okinawa’s TRC means anything to you. For better or for worse, the mess is the main source of food you if were/are lucky enough to not have to live on rations.


This has not always been the case. U.S. troops of days past didn’t always fare well at mealtime. Sometimes, the only benefit from having a mess tent seemed to be that the meal was hot, and in some cases, it wasn’t even that. Here are a few of the more famous meals produced by military-grade cooks. If it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough.

1. Firecake

Revolutionary War

As if anyone needed more examples of just how difficult life for a soldier in the Continental Army was, consider the main staple of troops who wintered with George Washington at Valley Forge: Firecake – a tasteless mixture of flour and water, cooked on a rock near a fire. On a good day, the makeshift bread was slightly flavored by ash from the fire or by vinegar, if one of the troops managed to secure some.

The texture and form of the bread depended on just how much of each substance the troop had. It would either be flattened on a rock or cooked in globs in the ashes, the result being a thick, dense mass of baked “goods.”

Ingredients:

Flour

Water

Salt or Vinegar (if available)

Prep Orders:

Mix flour and water together until the mixture is a smooth paste, but isn’t too sticky. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and either drop onto a greased cookie sheet or spread out like a tortilla. Bake until brown. Found the world’s first modern democracy. Spread freedom.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Like a boss.

2. Creamed Chipped Beef

World War I – World War II – Korea – Vietnam

Creamed Chipped Beef, aka Chipped Beef on Toast, aka S**t on a Shingle – No mess kitchen creation will ever top this notorious meal as the number one reason for the field mess’ infamous reputation. First appearing in the 1910 Manual for Army Cooks, it actually seemed as though some accounting for taste and appearance was considered. The veterans of all 20th century American wars I spoke to seem conflicted about the “SOS” being a good thing or a bad thing – but it was likely a relief from powdered eggs and C-rations cooked over C-4 explosives.

Ingredients:

15 pounds chipped beef

1 1/2 pound of fat, butter preferred

1¼ lbs flour

2 12-oz cans of evaporated milk

1 bunch parsley

¼ oz pepper

6 quarts beef stock

Prep Orders:

Brown the flour in the melted fat.

Dissolve the milk in the beef stock, and then add that to the pot.

Stir this together slowly to prevent lumping, and then add the beef.

Cook for a few minutes, add the parsley, and serve over toast.

By World War II, the need for appearances had disappeared entirely and the Navy was far worse off for it. The 1945 official US Navy recipe calls for:

Ingredients:

1 3/4 gallon of dried chipped beef

5 gallons of milk

1 quart of fat (animal unimportant)

2 1/2 quarts of flour

1 3/4 tablespoon of pepper

100 slices of toasted bread

If you’re not having fifty or so 90-year-old World War II veterans over for dinner later (though we all probably should be every night), you can break it down like this:

Prep Orders:

3 c dried, chipped beef

(this will be found in the lunchmeat section, next to bologna, where it belongs)

7 1/2 c milk

1/3 c fat

(animal still unimportant, but I recommend bacon. I always recommend bacon)

1 c flour

1/2 tsp pepper

(or just pepper to taste, rationing is over. We won the war, after all)

First, chop the beef. Then melt the fat and mix with flour until it forms a smooth paste, almost like a roux. Bring the milk to a boil and reduce heat to medium. Add the fat flour, and stir until it thickens, then add the chopped beef and pepper and stir well. Simmer for ten minutes and serve over your shingles (toast). Be sure to start eating once it’s on the toast. The only thing that gets mushy as fast as toasted white bread is your will to eat it.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Smells like… victory.

3. Chicory Coffee

Civil War

This is actually the outlier. Chicory coffee did not win a war, but coffee comes in all forms and anyone who’s ever served knows U.S. troops will drink any coffee-resembling substance. It’s as irreplaceable as JP-8 or 550 cord. Anyone would question how could any Army fight and win without Joes drinking joe. And they’d be right to.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Cafe Du Monde has become an American classic.

During the Civil War, the Confederate Army actually did without coffee due to the Union blockade of the Southern states. They attempted many substitutes for the beverage. I’m not saying it was the sole factor to their loss, but I’m not not saying that either. The legacy of the blockade lives on in the American South, most notably in New Orleans.

Ingredients:

Dark roast coffee

Roasted chicory root

Prep Orders:

Grind equal parts coffee and chicory and brew in your preferred coffee maker.

Add heated milk (almond tastes best, though is probably not as authentic).

4. Slumgullion

WWI

In the trenches of World War I-era France, hunger often gave way to good taste. There just wasn’t much around to live up to the French standards of cuisine. But as the old military adage says: “If its stupid and it works, then it’s not stupid.” Thus, Slumguillion, the most versatile of recipes, was born.

No one ever wrote the recipe down but the doughboys knew what they were in for when the “Slum” was on the fire. In the states, it would come to be called a Hobo Chili, an improvised stew made with what you had where you were. It was hot and filling, which would be good enough on a cold day in the trenches. #FirstWorldWarProblems

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Settle for dry socks.

Ingredients:

2 lbs. meat

4 sliced onions

2 large cans of tomatoes

1/3 c of flour

½ c water

salt and pepper (or any available seasoning) to taste

Prep Orders:

Cut meat into one-inch cubes in a large casserole of stew pot.

Add onions and salt. Add tomatoes and more salt. Add other seasonings.

Cover and bake low and long – 250-275 for a few hours.

Make a roux with flour and water.

When the meat is finished, add the roux to thicken the stew.

Stir well and serve over mashed potatoes.

5. Artillery Pie

Civil War

This recipe seems like a prank for the new cooks in a military unit. Suet is the fat from a piece of beef, and they’re adding it to sugar sweetened apples. Suet was, however, a delicacy at the time of the Civil War and could be found in many recipes, including desserts like Artillery Pie. If Civil War re-enactors are faithful to the field kitchen, Artillery Pie might explain why some re-enactors need some PT.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
I thought they marched all day…

Ingredients:

2 lbs of bread

¼ lb of suet

1 dozen apples

¼ lb sugar

Prep Orders:

Melt suet in a frying pan, cut bread into slices ¼ in thick.

Dip bread pieces into melted fat and place in oven to dry.

Peel and boil apples then mash them into the sugar.

Line a baking dish with fatty bread and cover with apple mixture.

Cover with alternating layers of bread and fruit until it’s all used up, then bake for 20 minutes. Any kind of fruit is actually okay, it’s not like you’re making this for your health.

Lists

23 ridiculously long military acronyms (and what they mean)

The military is notorious for using acronyms and abbreviations, and here are 23 of them that approach YGTBSM status:


 

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

1. AARDACONUS – Army Air Reconnaissance for Damage Assessment in the Continental United States

2. ADCOMSUBORDCOMPHIBSPAC – Administrative Command, Amphibious Forces, Pacific Fleet Subordinate Command (US Navy)

3. ARCCbtWMD – Army Council for Combating Weapons of Mass Destruction

4. ASTAMIDS – Airborne Standoff Minefield Detection System

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Airborne Standoff Minefield Detection System (Photo: L-3)

5. CASTFOREM – Combined Arms and Support Task Force Evaluation Model

6. COMNAVAIRSYSCOM – Commander, Naval Air Systems Command

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Vice Adm. David Dunaway, Commander, Naval Air Systems Command and member of USNA’s great Class of ’82.

 

7. DEFREMANEDCEN – Defense Resources Management Education Center

8. FLEASWTRACENPAC – Fleet Anti-Submarine Warfare Training Center – Pacific

 

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

9. HERCULES – Heavy Equipment Recovery Combat Utility Lift and Evacuation System (pictured below being loaded on to a C-17)

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
HERCULES being loaded onto a C-17 (Photo: Jason Minto/USAF)

10. HELANTISUBRON5 – Helicopter Anti-Submarine Squadron Five

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

 

11. HRCCIOSPB – Human Resources Command Chief Information Office Strategic Planning Branch

12. INCONMOVREP – Intra‐Continental United States Movement Report

13. MARCORSYSCOM – Marine Corps Systems Command

14. MILPERSIMS – Military Personnel Information System

15. MOBAALOCO – Mobilization Active Army locator

16. NAVCOMTELSTA ASCOMM DET WHIDBEY – Naval Computer and Telecommunication Station, Antisubmarine Warfare Communications Center Detachment Whidbey Island

17. NAVEODTECHDIV – Naval Explosive Ordnance Disposal Technology Division

18. POPNAMRAD – Policies, Organizations, and Procedures in Non‐atomic Military Research and Development

19. Prime BEEF – Prime Base Engineer Emergency Force. Pictured below, members of the U.S. Air Force 577th Expeditionary Prime Base Engineer Emergency Force Squadron constructs a dome shelter on Camp Marmal, Afghanistan.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo: Senior Airman Sandra Welch/USAF

20. RED HORSE – Rapid Engineers Deployable Heavy Operations Repair Squadron, Engineers

21. SINCGARS – Single-Channel Ground and Airborne Radio System

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo: Wikipedia

22. SLAMRAAM – Surface Launched Advanced Medium Range Air to Air Missile.

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II
Photo: Wikipedia

 

23. USAADACENFB – United States Army Air Defense Artillery Center, Fort Bliss

Hitler’s secret Nazi war machines of World War II

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