Lists

The 11 Best Military Movie Quotes

Hollywood has a tendency to mess up uniforms, customs, and tactical thinking when it comes to military movies, but they sure know how to give us quote-worthy characters. From the masterful intro speech of “Patton” to the character of Hoot in “Black Hawk Down,” these are the films that we remember for having characters with great dialogue.


We picked out some of our favorite quotes from classic military films. Here they are:

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn’t find one of ’em, not one stinkin’ dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like … victory. Someday this war’s gonna end.”  — Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore, “Apocalypse Now” (1979)

Apocalypse Now - Robert Duvall as Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore

“You have to think about one shot. One shot is what it’s all about. A deer’s gotta be taken with one shot.” — Michael, “The Deer Hunter” (1978)

The Deer Hunter - Robert Dinero

“Keep the sand out of your weapons, keep those actions clear. I’ll see you on the beach.” — Capt. John Miller, “Saving Private Ryan” (1998)

Saving Private Ryan - Tom Hanks

“When I go home people will ask me, ‘Hey Hoot, why do you do it man? What, you some kinda war junkie?’ You know what I’ll say? I won’t say a goddamn word. Why? They won’t understand. They won’t understand why we do it. They won’t understand that it’s about the men next to you, and that’s it. That’s all it is.”  — Norman “Hoot” Hooten, “Black Hawk Down” (2001)

Black Hawk Down - Eric Bana

“Are you smoking this sh-t so’s to escape from reality? Me, I don’t need this sh-t, I am reality. There’s the way it ought to be, and there’s the way it is.” — Staff Sgt. Barnes, “Platoon” (1986)

Platoon – Tom Berenger as Sgt. Barnes

“Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.” — Gen. George Patton, “Patton” (1970)

Patton – George C. Scott as General George Patton

“Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war? … He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.” — Gen. Jack D. Ripper, “Dr. Strangelove” (1964)

Sterling Hayden as General Jack D. Ripper

“Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of sh-t! Get the f–k off of my obstacle! Get the f–k down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-D–KS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!” — Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, “Full Metal Jacket” (1987)

R. Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sgt. Hartman

“Aim small, miss small.” — Capt. Benjamin Martin, “The Patriot” (2000)

The Patriot – Mel Gibson as Benjamin Martin

“All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the Corps! A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal’s a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the Corps!” — Sgt. Apone, “Aliens” (1986)

Aliens Sgt. Apone

“Out here, due process is a bullet!” — Col. Mike Kirby, “The Green Berets” (1968)

Col Mike Kirby The Green Berets

What’s your favorite military quote? Did we miss any? Share yours in the comments.

Articles

4 ways armies have sent ‘FU’ messages to their enemies

As far back as documented history goes, war has crushed civilizations and built new empires. Regardless of era, military leaders and warlords have long sent visual (or “FU”) messages to their enemies in hopes that emotions, not tactics, take over the battlefield.


Related: 7 badass nicknames enemies have given the American military

With both sides desperate for a victory, the art of mind manipulation can trigger a response that just might reduce the enemy’s will to fight.

1. Tossed in a gutter

ISIS controls many areas in Iraq, but that doesn’t stop members of the Iraqi forces from showing their own progress. 

According to Fox News, Iraqis toss the dead bodies of ISIS members in the street gutters as a form of intimidation to ISIS sleeper cells and their supporters.

2. Drawn and Quartered

Most of us are familiar with William Wallace’s legacy, especially if you’ve seen Mel Gibson’s Braveheart. What the award-winning filmmaker didn’t show was what King Edward did after the end credits rolled.

According to duhaime.org, the King of England ordered his soldiers to cut Wallace’s body into four pieces and post them at the four corners of Britain. Wallace’s head was stabbed with a spike and set on London Bridge for an epic “screw you” message.

William Wallace statue stands tall in Scotland.

3. Capture the flag

Those who have had the opportunity to fight in a Taliban-infected area probably noticed the white flags flapping in the wind over extremist strongholds.

Marines love flags, too — especially their own, which wave high above American positions. They also enjoy taking the Taliban flags and putting them on display for the bad guys to see.

Infantrymen from 3rd Battalion 5th Marines Lima Company 2nd Platoon enjoy a moment after capturing a Taliban flag. #wegotyoursh*t

4. A good slicing

Around 500 B.C., a war between the State of Yue and the State of Wu in China broke out.

Gou Jian, the King of Yue, was unsure of his victory over the Wu. To try to gain an element of surprise, Jian ordered 300 of his men to stand in front of the enemy, remove their swords and cut their own throats before the battle began.

The Wu were so completely stunned, Jian was able to send in his attack on the unsuspecting army and defeat them.

(We actually don’t recommend this tactic…)

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Lists

6 tips to help you get through Air Assault School

Many Soldiers seek Air Assault School as a simple way to get a skill badge for gloating rights. It’s only two weeks of sliding down ropes — how hard could it be? Kinda difficult, actually, if you’re not prepared.


Being a dope-on-a-rope is the fun part, but cocky and unprepared soldiers will often get dropped before they reach that point. To get the opportunity to really learn what rotor wash is, you’re going to have to do a lot of work. There’s a lot more to the school than you might think. Here’s what you need to know if you want to make it through.

I honestly don’t know if that guy was planted there by the instructors, but we all got the message. There’s no messing around at this school.

(Photo by Army Spc. Brian Smith-Dutton)

If you’re at the Sabalauski Air Assault School, for the love of all that is holy, don’t sh*t-talk the 101st Airborne

If you’re stationed at Fort Campbell, home of the Sabalauski Air Assault School, you’re more than likely going to be voluntold to attend. The 101st is pretty fond of their Air Assault status and almost everyone at the school is rocking their Old Abe.

If you’re not in the 101st and are attending on TDY, it’s ill-advised to sport an 82nd patch or Airborne wings. You might get pestered if you do, but won’t get kicked out or anything. All of that goes out the window, however, if you mouth off about the divisional rivalry.

Just how easy is it to get kicked? Here’s a fun, true story: A guy standing next to me on Day Zero couldn’t hold his tongue. He told the instructor, who kept his composure throughout, that “if you choking chickens can do this, so can I.” The instructor just opened the fool’s canteen, poured some water out, shook it near his ear, and told the idiot that he was a no-go before he could set foot on the obstacle course.

Get as much time on obstacle courses as you can before attending

The Day-Zero obstacle course isn’t that physically demanding. Every obstacle is designed so that everyone from the biggest gym rat to the smallest dude can pass. It’s more of a thought exercise than a physical exam.

The challenge that gets the most people is the rope climb. You can climb a rope with almost no effort if you carefully use your feet to create temporary anchors as you work your way up. Check out the video below for a visual example.

The “Air Assault” that will forever play in your head will remind you why your knees are blown out at 25.

(Photo by Master Sgt. Matthew Hecht)

Get used to saying “Air Assault” at least 7000 times a day

“When that left foot hits the ground, all I want to hear is that Air Assault sound.” This literally means you’ll be saying, “Air Assault” every single time your left foot hits the ground while you’re at the school. It’s not very pleasant considering it’s a three-syllable phrase and you’ll be uttering it every other second.

The answer to every question is “Air Assault.” Every movement is “Air Assault.” You’ll probably start mumbling the phrase after a while, but don’t let the instructors catch you doing it.

Also, don’t sleep in class. That’s a shortcut to getting kicked.

(Photo by Army Spc. Brian Smith-Dutton)

There’s actually a lot of math

After you’re done with the obstacle course, the first phase is all about the helicopters. You’ll be expected to memorize every specification of every single helicopter in the Army’s roster.

And, yes, you’ll need to brush up on your basic math skills to plot out how far apart each helicopter should be given their size and area of landing. But don’t worry, you’ll get to the fun stuff soon enough.

Another heads up: That yellow stick thing is super important. You don’t want to learn the hard way why you have to poke the helicopter with it.

(Photo by Pfc. Alexes Anderson)

Expect to do more sling-load operations than fast roping

Oh, you thought Air Assault was all about jumping out of helicopters and quickly touching on what it takes to be a Pathfinder? That’s hilarious. You’re now going to be qualified for a detail that will almost always come up when you’re deployed: sling-loading gear to the bottom of helicopters.

The math skills and carrying capacities you crammed into your brain will ensure that you’re the go-to guy whenever a sling-load mission comes up. It’s only after that test that you move onto the repelling phase. This is when things gets fun.

Do units still do blood wings? Probably not. It’s not that bad, really.

(Photo by Sgt. Mickey Miller)

Make sure your 12-mile ruck march is up to speed

If you’re in a combat arms unit, making a 12-mile ruck march in under three hours isn’t asking much. That’s just one mile every fifteen minutes if you pace yourself properly. The ruck is the absolute last thing you’ll be doing at Air Assault School, just moments before graduation. And yet, people still fail.

If your unit came to cheer you on and give you your blood wings and you can’t complete the elementary ruck march at the end, you’ll never live down the fact that you failed while everyone was finding parking.

Lists

5 things enlisted troops love but officers hate

No matter what branch you serve in, there will always be a solid line between enlisted personnel and officers — they rarely understand each other.


Enlisted troops do some crazy sh*t, which causes officers to get in a bad mood — and vice versa.

Most officers want their troops to abide by all the rules and regulations while the members of the E-4 mafia just want to push the envelope as often as possible and have a little fun.

Related: 6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

So check out five things enlisted troops love, but officers freakin’ hate — according to our resident military officers.

5. Practical jokes

We all love to play some grab ass to liven up a dull situation, and some jokes do go too far — f*ck it. Once the principal officer shows up, consider the fun is over. Most officers aren’t fans of practical jokes especially if they’re the butt of that joke — but enlisted folks love it!

Don’t think an officer can’t prank their troops right back. They did graduate from college.

(Note: I’m told this doesn’t apply to pilots…)

 4. Mustaches

It’s common for service members to grow mustaches — especially on deployment. The military has strict grooming standards for all facial hair and officers keep a close eye out on them. We wouldn’t want a single hair follicle to fell out of line — we’d probably end up losing the war.

Master Sgt. Bryan McCoy, Staff Sgt. Clayton Morris, and Master Sgt. Anthony Foster show off their whiskers that were grown for Mustache March, March 27, 2014, at Dover Air Force Base, Del. (U.S. Air Force photo: Airman 1st Class Zachary Cacicia)

(Note: The exception appears to be “Movember”)

3. Dipping tobacco while standing duty

Sometimes we need a nicotine fix and aren’t allowed to walk outside for a smoke. So we tend to dip tobacco and leave the spit bottles laying around. We’ll give this one to the officers since spit cups aren’t sexy.

At least he’s not just spitting it on the ground. Keeping it in a clear bottle is a much better idea. (Source: Pinterest)

Also Read: 6 ways you can tell a troop isn’t an infantryman

2. Out PTing their company commanders

When you’re just starting out in a leadership position and trying to lead from the front — no officer wants to get beaten in a sprint contest by someone who just graduated high school 6-months ago.

It’s probably why enlisted troops always have to run at the officer’s pace.

Lt. Col. David Bardorf and Sgt. Maj. Michael Rowan lead their battalion on a run during the annual battalion’s physical training session to support the Combined Federal Campaign. (U.S. Marine Corps photo: Lance Cpl. Nik S. Phongsisattanak)

1. Buying expensive vehicles right out the gate

Some branches are supposed to clear significant purchases with their command before executing on the sale. This system helps the enlisted troop from blowing his or her already low paycheck on a car with 30% APR — that’s bad.

Troops love buying brand new trucks — until they have to actually pay for it. (Source: Ford)

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Articles

The 9 dirtiest (and most effective) hand-to-hand combat moves

When the military needs to get down and dirty with the enemy, it usually means a few things have gone wrong. It’s best for the U.S. if fights are conducted at long range where more assets can be brought in to assist.


Still, the enemy gets a vote and if they want to fight hand-to-hand, America is willing to oblige. Using the major “weapons of the body” as well as grappling techniques, troops jockey for position and then strike any soft spots they can find, hurting, crippling, or killing the enemy.

Illustration: US Marine Corps

Here are 8 ways the ground pounders can make sure they come out on top.

1. Eye gouge

Illustration: US Marine Corps

A perennial favorite, the eye gouge is exactly what it sounds like. Either two fingers are thrust into the eyes sockets or two thumbs. Fingers are aimed to slide in under the eyeballs while thumbs should be aimed for the inner corners of the eye, near the nose. Either way, the goal is to scoop the eyes out or crush them inside the occipital cavity.

For obvious reasons, the military services require that this be practiced against a dummy or a sparring pad rather than a human.

2. Elbow strikes to the back of the neck

Any elbow strike can do some damage. There’s the low-to-high that strikes an enemy beneath the chin, the horizontal that smashes into a soft spot of the body or face, and then there’s striking an enemy in the base of the skull with an elbow strike.

It requires that the target is doubled over to work well, so this is a great way to finish the fight after a Long Knee or a solid strike to the stomach or groin.

3. The Long Knee

Illustration: US Army

When a fighter wants to knee the enemy but there’s a little too much space to come up directly, they use the long knee and move forward with their strike. It works even better when they can get a hold of the target and pull them towards the knee. Aim for the soft parts of the abdomen or the groin to really do some damage.

4. Up Knee

Illustration: US Army

If the target tries to move away, feel free to pull harder on their head and transition to the Up Knee, using the knee strike to hit an opponent right in the face. This can also work if the target has bad posture or is leaned over for another reason.

5. Throat punch

Photo: US Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Ammon W. Carter

The throat punch isn’t just a common internet joke. The Marine Corps lists the throat as a good target for lead hand punches, rear hand punches, and uppercuts. A good punch to the throat can crush the windpipe and even a more modest hit is going to hurt and throw the opponent off balance.

Go straight for the Adam’s apple and remember to follow through.

6. Stomps to the groin or knees

It’s all in the headline. If the enemy falls to the ground, a downward stomp can make sure they stay there. Stomping the groin will cause extreme pain and possibly nausea while a solid hit to the knee can disable the joint and make it impossible to stand.

7. Ax stomp to the wherever

Photo: US Marine Corps Pfc. Monroe F. Seigle

While the standard stomp is straight down, the ax stomp is a backward swing. This allows the power of the strike to be concentrated in the heel. To add more power, slightly bend the knee of the non-striking leg to gain more downward momentum.

An ax stomp to the face while wearing new boots can easily split skin open and crush underlying bone. Not exactly a sparring technique, but it can finish a real fight.

8. Nutcracker choke

Illustration: US Army

This colorfully-named choke involves grabbing the sides or rear of an opponent’s collar before pulling the hands into the center and crushing the Adam’s apple with the knuckles of the index finger. The tightened collar keeps the opponent from squirming away while the knuckles cut off the target’s airflow.

9. Fish Hook

Fish hooking is simple. When a target is facing away, reach around and slip fingers into the cheeks and pull hard. This allows the attacker to control their opponents head to a degree, can incite panic in the enemy, and hurts. The attacker should be careful to avoid the enemy’s teeth since this can backfire quickly.

Lists

5 questions we have after watching ‘Full Metal Jacket’

In 1987, Warner Brothers released Full Metal Jacket, a film that follows a young Marine as he endures the hardships of basic training and gets thrust immediately into the brutality of the Vietnam War.

This film, which is hailed as one of history’s most powerful, is a hit especially among service members. As with any movie, questions pop up into our minds as the story plays out and we’re left wondering long after the credits roll. Since it’s very doubtful the film will ever get a sequel, let’s talk about a few questions that we don’t think the movie ever answered.


www.youtube.com

The jelly donut

One of the most iconic screw-ups that Pvt. Pyle committed in the first act of the film involved a certain pastry. He got busted for having a freakin’ jelly donut in an unlocked footlocker. We can’t help but wonder how the hell Pyle was able to sneak the jelly donut into the open squad bay and not smash it in the process? Every uniform they wear in the boot camp scenes is pretty skin tight. So, how did Pyle do it?

We all know that jelly squirts out of those suckers after just one nibble! On a lighter note, aren’t you in the mood for a jelly donut now?

www.youtube.com

What happened with the murder-suicide case?

It’s no secret that Pvt. Pyle put a hot one into Gunny Hartman’s chest before swallowing the next round in the magazine. This murder-suicide is a huge plot point in the film, but Joker never brings this back up as the story continues.

Does Joker not talk about it moving forward because of a mental block, or perhaps a resulting stress syndrome?

www.youtube.com

What’s the consequence of getting your G.I.-issued camera stolen?

Remember that epic scene where Rafterman’s camera gets ripped out of his hands and stolen?

Why didn’t the two Marines get in trouble for letting that G.I.-issued camera get away? Service members are always held accountable for their gear, but I guess the Marine Corps took exception to their dilemma?

youtu.be

Joker becomes a machine-gunner during the Tet Offensive?

We understand wanting to make your protagonists look as badass as possible. However, when the Marines start to take incoming fire during the Tet Offensive, the grunts dash ahead and we see Joker get inside of a bunker, place an ammo belt into an M60 machine gun, and send rounds downrange, killing the enemy. We’re curious where a Stars and Stripes reporter, like Joker, got the machine-gun in the first place? Are we to assume that the whole Marine base in Da Nang was short of machine-gunners, causing him to take up arms? If that’s the case, then belay our last.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iH5R4tgGdDk

www.youtube.com

Why was Animal Mother so angry when Joker and Rafterman showed up?

One of the best scenes in the film is when Joker and Cowboy meet up and share a brother-to-brother moment. Then, once Cowboy introduces Joker to his squad, Animal Mother comes up and verbally attacks the reporters — which was hilarious.

What we don’t understand is why was he being such a dick? We understand that grunts don’t get along with POGs, but was this sh*t-talking banter just to showcase Animal Mother’s quick temper? This rivalry doesn’t carry over to any other scenes, after all.

Lists

8 foods you can add to your diet to help with weight loss

When you’re trying to lose weight, it’s easy to assume that cutting items out of your diet will provide the quickest path to your goal. But after speaking with a panel of nutritionists, INSIDER discovered that addition can be even more effective for weight loss than subtraction. For a quicker metabolism, an increase in vitamins and minerals, and a higher level of energy, consider adding these eight foods to your meal plan.

1. Cayenne pepper

Spicy food may also help boost your metabolism.
(Flickr photo by Chris Potako)

Adding a dash of cayenne to your plate allows for bolder flavor, a punch of heat, and plenty of weight-loss-friendly side effects.

Spicy cayenne pepper is a natural appetite suppressant,” explained teacher and wellness consultant Vince Massara.

2. Avocado

Fretting over the fat content in avocados has become a regular occurrence, but these delicious fruits come packed with vitamins, minerals, and plenty of good fats.

“Avocados are so nutrient-dense and satisfying that including a few slices in your sandwich or salad will make you feel satiated and satisfied so you’re not hungry. They’re full of healthy omega-3 fats and fiber, which keep you fuller longer,” New York-based dietician Laura Burak told INSIDER.

Because it’s rich and texturally luxurious, avocado feels decadent without derailing your diet, making it an ideal addition to your pre-summer grocery list.

3. Coconut oil

(Photo by Meal Makeover Moms)

Coconut oil includes beneficial compounds like MCT (medium chain triglycerides), which avoid the digestive tract after consumption and head straight for the liver, where they’re instantly converted into energy.

“The more energy you have, the more calories you burn throughout the day, which leads to weight loss,” NYC nurse and wellness coach Rebecca Lee advised.


4. Eggs

Eggs frequently get a bad rap from dieters, due to a misconception about their calorie count and cholesterol level. However, they’re actually a lean source of protein that boost energy levels and keep you full and satisfied.

“I would recommend eating eggs for effective weight loss because they are rich in vitamins, minerals, high-quality protein, and healthy fats. They are low in calories, keep you fuller for longer, and can also boost your metabolism,” NYC wellness specialist and Pilates coach Melanie Kotcher told INSIDER.

If you’re really committed to cutting calories, just ditch the yolks and stick with egg whites.

“Egg whites are a great way of incorporating more protein in your diet without the extra calories that are found in the egg yolk. Protein keeps you feeling satiated longer and also helps to preserve muscle when losing weight, which is important for achieving that toned look,” insists Mary Weidner of Strongr Fastr.

5. Cruciferous vegetables

(Photo by Meal Makeover Moms)

Veggies in the Brassicaceae family, also known as cruciferous vegetables, are excellent options if you want your food to really work for you.

“Not only are cruciferous vegetables — like kale, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts — bursting with good-for-you ingredients, they’re also some of my favorite fat-burning foods,” Dr. Josh Axe of Ancient Nutrition said. “That’s because they’re some of the most nutritionally dense vegetables around. The benefits your body gets for the amount of calories contained in these vegetables means you’re getting more bang for your nutritional buck. Packed with vitamins, you can chow down on these veggies guilt-free.”

6. Fermented foods

Fermented dishes like sauerkraut and kimchi are known for their bold and tangy flavors, but they also contain valuable bacteria that promotes gut health and keeps your digestive tract in great working condition, all of which can help with weight loss, according to Shape.

“Including fermented foods on your plate is the good gut secret to weight loss through a healthy microbiome. You need all that great bacteria throughout the day to keep your digestion humming,” certified wellness expert Robyn Youkilis told INSIDER.

7. Chia seeds

(Photo by Stacy Spensley)

A long-time favorite of health-food aficionados, chia seeds are easy to incorporate into smoothies, yogurt parfaits, and other diet-friendly dishes, and they come with a plethora of nourishing advantages.

They’re full of fiber which can keep you fuller longer, all while reducing constipation and regulating your bowel movements. Just be sure to limit your doses.

8. Bone broth

Simple, slow-cooked bone broth is an on-trend these days, but it can also a great addition to any weight-loss-oriented eating plan.

Bone broth provides our body with very digestible forms of magnesium and calcium. Glycine found in bone broth promotes proper stomach acid production, while collagen helps to improve and maintain healthy digestion by ensuring that the stomach lining is healthy,” cardiologist and weight-loss expert Dr. Luiza Petre told INSIDER.

Keep in mind more research is needed to backup many of these health claims, but experts told Kitchn there’s nothing wrong with giving bone broth a try.

This article originally appeared on Insider. Follow @thisisinsider on Twitter.

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of Sep. 23

It’s finally Friday, everyone. It’s time for some memes, a few safety briefings, and the weekend. Here are 13 of the funniest military memes we could dig up:


1. It’s like being called out by a guy who looks like Mister Rogers but kills like Mr. T (via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said).

Dude’s got more badges than a Pokemon trainer.

2. I hate it when she cuts off mid-sentence like that (via The Funny Introvert).

3. You could fit at least three infantrymen on that bed (via Military Memes).

That’s pretty good looking dirt, though. A little loose, but good dirt regardless.

4. Yup, this brings back memories (via Military Memes).

Best part is, the armorer isn’t even there yet.

5. This is an NCO failure. LTs should never be left unattended near tumbleweed like that (via Military Memes).

This is why you always need a battle buddy team.

6. Immediately shared this with my girlfriend (via Operation Encore).

7. It could always use more glow belt. Always (via Pop Smoke).

Maybe if most of you wore three belts, and then one of you wore a full vest?

8. Why wait 1,500 years? Most Marines are salt-powered robots within three years (via The Chive).

All service members are salt-powered within seven.

9. DD-214: The only known cure for saltiness (via The Salty Soldier).

Being out of the military is so refreshing.

10. Ha ha! Jokes on you, staff sergeant! (via The Salty Soldier)

I long ago turned into an empty husk fueled by energy drinks and spite.

11. “I need two for …” (via U.S Army W.T.F!  moments)

12. Nothing to do but lift and work (via U.S Army W.T.F!  moments).

Time to get swole.

13. “I’m just so glad we can be here and bond as a unit.” (via U.S Army W.T.F!  moments)

It really builds esprit de corps. I guess.

Articles

7 things that make you stick out in the US military

The military is one of those work environments where it’s generally best to blend in. Sure, you want to stand out during promotion boards or advancement exams, but the rest of the time it’s best for troops to keep their heads down.


Unfortunately, some people are cursed with traits that make that impossible. Here are 7 things that are guaranteed to draw extra attention.

1. Height

Photo: US Army

Too-tall or too-short, both will make someone stand out. In formation, everyone is right next to each other and outliers are super obvious. At ceremonies, many units are reorganized according to height so the unit has a more uniform appearance.

2. Being a know-it-all

Photo: US Navy Mass Communication Specialist Seaman K. Cecelia Engrums

This person wants to stand out, but they shouldn’t. Answering a direct question is no big deal, and offering an informed opinion every once in a while is great. But people who answer every question in a class don’t get the “team” idea behind the military. And the rest of the team hates them for it.

3. Coming from another country

Photo: US Navy Legalman 1st Class Jennifer L. Bailey

The U.S. military is predictably full of Americans, but some foreign people do join.

A few English or South African troops may be able to skate by under the radar, but most foreigners get found out immediately. As if it wasn’t hard enough to adjust to military culture, this recruit has to adjust to American culture at the same time. Every time they mess something up, some squad-jokester-wannabe will make a comment about how it’s because they didn’t grow up in America.

4. Being from Texas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyFSdj1J5Vw
It’s like being foreign. Everyone has their favorite Texas jokes, Texas nicknames, and Texas memes. Once someone is outed as being a Texan, they will get saddled with all the Lone Star military stereotypes.

5. Having an accent

Photo: US Army Staff Sgt. Shane Hamann

Yeah, soldiers who talk funny are going to get noticed. It’s funniest when they have to speak in front of the unit. They’re up there talking about how their squad helped them get promoted or earn an award and the formation just stands there smiling like they understand any of the words being said.

6. Possessing no rhythm

Photo: US Air Force Master Sgt. Cecilio Ricardo

In the civilian world, bad rhythm just makes it harder to meet people at clubs and square dances. But rhythm is key to military life. Units march in rhythm, troops exercise in rhythm, and new tasks are taught “by the numbers” where students practice things like landing in a parachute in a set rhythm.

A service member with no rhythm sticks out and gets ridiculed. In basic training, it’s even worse since it draws the eyes of the dreaded training cadre.

7. Carrying a funny or famous last name

Meme via OutOfRegs.com

As a civilian, someone’s last name isn’t all that visible. It’s in email signatures, and that’s about it. But in the military, a person’s last name is their primary name. It’s on their shirts, it’s beneath any pictures of them, and it’s on most of their hats. Some people don’t know their buddy’s first name until they friend each other on Facebook.

So, when someone’s last name is “Nye,” everyone knows. And that person can’t walk into a room without someone singing the Bill Nye theme song.

NOW: The 7 people you meet in basic training

OR: The best and worst Air Force recruiting slogans of all-time

 

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8 Presidents who actually saw combat in a big way

American Presidents are civilians by design, some with little or no military experience at all – and are unlikely to ever serve in a combat role while in office (unless they’re in office while aliens attack Earth). In the voters’ minds, military experience always seems to be a plus when considering who would be the next Commander-In-Chief. It probably helps  when they actually take the office.


Like Ike.

But not every veteran POTUS saw action. Eisenhower was a great logistical planner but never served in a direct combat role. George Washington’s combat record as a junior officer is spotty, but his decision-making capacity, strategic vision, and ability to inspire those around him were infinitely more essential to his legacy and to the history of the United States.

And then there were those whose service would affect the outcomes of battles, of entire wars, and of the nation itself.  Here are 8 presidents who actually saw combat in a big way:

1. Andrew Jackson (War of 1812, Indian Wars)

No president ever held a grudge like Andrew Jackson. This was a guy who fought 103 duels before he was ever elected President. Yet he only killed one man (in a duel, I mean).

When he was 13, he served as a messenger for a militia unit in the Revolutionary War. When captured, he refused to shine the boots of a British officer, who then used his saber to give the Young Jackson the scars that would be on his face for the rest of his life. That sort of thing stays with a young man.

Historians still argue about his relationship with Native tribes. No, really. Look it up.

 

As a general, his most famous military success was at New Orleans during the War of 1812. The British threatened the city under Jackson’s command. Jackson pulled together Army regulars, militia, sailors, Marines, citizens, Choctaw warriors, and a band of pirates under Jean LaFitte, to a force of 4,700 men. They held off 11,000 British troops and the Royal Navy fleet in a battle that couldn’t be won.

His victory would (eventually) put Jackson in the White House, where Old Hickory would be the first US President anyone tried to assassinate. An unemployed house painter pulled two pistols on Jackson but they both misfired, allowing Jackson to beat the would-be killer with his cane.

2. William Henry Harrison (War of 1812, Indian Wars)

Harrison was the commander of American forces at Tippecanoe, architect of Shawnee leader Tecumseh’s defeat, and gave the United States its first victory against violent religious extremists. Not bad.

Tecumseh and his brother, a “prophet” called Tenskawata, began using visions and magic to incite Natives in the Indiana territory against American settlers. In 1810, Tecumseh met then-Governor Harrison with 400 warriors to demand the rescission of a treaty. When Harrison refused, Tecumseh ordered his warriors to kill Harrison, who responded by drawing his sword. A Potawatomi chief intervened and Tecumseh’s warriors left for the time being.

When the war came, Harrison assaulted the tribes repeatedly – most notably at Tippecanoe, where the magical forces were defeated by actual forces.

Guns over Magic. Every time. 

 

Tecumseh made a comeback in the War of 1812, backed up by the British. Harrison quickly captured Detroit (for better or worse) and then invaded Canada. He defeated the British and got some vengeance against Tecumseh at the Battle of the Thames. Tecumseh was killed, the Americans burned a local settlement (built by pacifists probably to avoid getting their settlement burned down), and then went back to Detroit.

Harrison delivered the longest inaugural speech in American history without a coat on a cold, wet day, which resulted in the shortest presidency in American history.

3. Zachary Taylor (War of 1812, Indian Wars, Mexican-American War)

Taylor also cut his teeth fighting Tecumseh during the War of 1812, famously holding Fort Harrison with 20 men against 600 under the “inspiring” battle cry “Taylor Never Surrenders!” Turns out, he was pretty good at checking native tribes. He also fought them in the Black Hawk War and Seminole War.

By the time war with Mexico broke out, Taylor was a general and was widely known as “Old Rough and Ready.” He lost only 37 men against an army that vastly outnumbered his own, marched on the “impregnable” city of Monterrey, and captured it in four days. This wasn’t even his biggest victory.

He also reportedly had a killer smile.

 

President Polk deliberately gave all but 4,650 of Taylor’s troops to General Winfield Scott to capture Veracruz in an effort to check Taylor’s growing popularity back home. Having learned of Taylor’s weakened army, Mexican General and dictator General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna sent his entire army of 15,000 to annihilate him.

As Taylor’s army turned the Battle of Buena Vista into a complete rout of the numerically superior Mexicans, his order “Double-shot your guns and give ’em hell” was used as a campaign slogan to catapult Taylor to the presidency.

He was so popular, he was elected as the Whig Party candidate despite disagreeing with almost every issue for which the party stood.

4. Franklin Pierce (Mexican-American War)

Franklin Pierce was so itchy to fight for his country, he turned down President Polk’s nomination as Attorney General. For this he gets a lot of respect. The first part of his military career, however, was less like Zachary Taylor’s and more like Ernest goes to Mexico.

He volunteered to join the Army as soon as war with Mexico broke out in 1846, despite the lack of New England regiments actually existing. When Congress authorized those regiments, he was appointed the Colonel in command and sent to Veracruz.

Seems easy to lead units that don’t exist.

 

When he arrived in Mexico, he was promoted to Brigadier General and linked up with General Winfield Scott at the Battle of Contreras. Everything was okay until his horse was startled, causing his saddle to jam his groin as hard as possible. The horse then fell into a crevice, pinning Pierce under it and forcing someone else to take command. He injured his knee the next day and fell so far behind his men, the battle was over by the time he caught up.

General Scott wasn’t going to let Pierce command his brigade at the Battle of Churubusco the next day, but he eventually did. But Pierce’s wounded leg hurt so much, he passed out on his horse in the middle of the battle.

5. Ulysses S. Grant (Mexican War, Civil War)

Grant famously became the general the Union needed to win the Civil War. He was forced to resign from the Army for drunkenness before the war. But when the South seceded, he raised a regiment of volunteers that he used to take the fight to the Confederates in the West.

Eventually, he commanded friend and General William T. Sherman to burn the South to the ground.

Not all alcoholics are lost causes.

 

He always showed this level of doggedness in his military career. During the Mexican War, he led cavalry charges despite only being a quartermaster. As a messenger, he braved the sniper-lined streets of Monterrey while hanging off the side of his horse, using it as a shield.

At the Battle of Chapultepec, he carried a howitzer to the top of a church steeple, a move essential to the final assault on Chapultepec Castle and to winning the war itself.

6. Rutherford B. Hayes (Civil War)

Not much is really said about Rutherford B. Hayes these days, but the former President has probably one of the most active war records of any Chief Executive. He was a Union officer during the Civil War, volunteering after Fort Sumter fell and serving in an active combat role until the Confederate surrender at Appomattox.

In September 1862, Robert E. Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia was advancing northward into Maryland. The Union Army under General George B. McClellan met the divided Confederates in a series of three pitched battles. At the head of the lead regiment was Lieutenant Colonel Rutherford B. Hayes.

As Hayes’ 23d Ohio charged an entrenched Confederate position, a bullet tore through his arm, shattering the bone. After tying a handkerchief tourniquet around it (and presumably rubbing some dirt on it), he continued the attack.

Also the originator of the american icy stare.

 

While most Civil War veterans would lose an arm to such an injury, Hayes probably didn’t get an infection because gangrene was afraid of him. Instead, he spent the next two years skirmishing with Confederate forces in Tennessee and Virginia.

He had his horse shot from under him Battle of Kernstown, where he was then shot in the shoulder. He was also struck in the head by a spent round at Cedar Creek in 1864, the year he was promoted to Brigadier General and Brevet Major General.

He was elected to the Presidency by sheer force of will in 1876, despite not winning a majority of electoral or popular votes.

7. Theodore Roosevelt (Spanish-American War)

Colonel Roosevelt was an adventurer, explorer, scholar, author, historian, boxer, cowboy, big game hunter, and elected official. Teddy, as he hated being called, was also fearless and nearly indestructible even before he went to war.

Unfortunately for Spain, when the USS Maine was sunk in Havana harbor, Roosevelt resigned as Assistant Secretary of the Navy to go and liberate Cuba. He and Colonel Leonard Wood raised the 1st Volunteer Cavalry Regiment – known to this day as the “Rough Riders.”

Speak softly and carry a big stick. Use it once in Cuba and let everyone else cower.

 

They distinguished themselves at the Battle of San Juan Hill. During the fight for nearby Kettle Hill, he lead the charge as the only man on horseback. Roosevelt moved from position to position as his men advanced up the hill, over open ground, against an entrenched enemy. When his horse was stopped by barbed wire, he walked the rest of the way.

The Americans reached the top of the hill fighting hand-to-hand to dislodge the Spaniards. In Spain’s defense, there’s no shame in getting dropped by a punch the face from Teddy Roosevelt.

Roosevelt would be posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor for that action (he is still the only President with one), blocked at the time for political reasons – the most likely being that he was Theodore Roosevelt and everyone else was not.

8. Harry S. Truman (World War I)

Truman was initially denied enlisting into the Missouri National Guard because of poor eyesight – well past the standard for legal blindness.  Not one to let not being able to see keep him from killing Germans, he secretly memorized an eye chart and passed the vision test. He was even elected to be the lieutenant of his unit.

I wonder if the other potential Lt. was named Dewey.

By the time he arrived in France, he was the captain of an artillery company. He was unpopular at first… until his unit was overrun by the Germans in the Vosges Mountains. His men started to break and run but Truman let rip a string of profanity so awful and venomous his men were actually more afraid of him than the Germans – and they stayed to fight.

His time in the mud didn’t stop there. At the start of the Meuse-Argonne Offensive in 1918, Captain Truman observed German artillery setting up to attack a unit out of his area of responsibility. An animal lover, Truman waited until the Germans moved their horses before lighting them up.

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13 travel hacks to help sailors deploy like pros

They say that life at sea is like living in a prison, but you don’t have to live like an inmate.


A sailor’s life at sea means not stepping on land for long periods of time. Sailors have to live with the items they board the ship with until they get a care package or make their first port visit. They can also visit the ship’s store, but those items aren’t the kinds of things that can improve quality of life, necessarily.

Here are a few things that can, however:

1. Zip Ties

The bulkheads – Navy speak for ship walls – have exposed beams, pipes, and wiring. Zip ties come in handy for attaching items to the pipes and beams while also helping to organize the wiring of electronic devices.

 

2. Velcro

Use Velcro tape for sticking items to smooth surfaces. Attach velcro tape to the back of your iPad and the ceiling of your coffin rack for movies in bed. You can also use velcro for your wireless alert chime when skating.

3. Power strip

The ship provides power strips, but you can’t claim ownership. Having one handy will save you the frustration of having to barter for one. Just don’t forget to safety tag it, since electronics that are not safety tagged are grounds for confiscation.

4. Wireless hard drive

The ship has great movies, but options are limited. Bring a wireless hard drive filled with movies to stream to your mobile device for days when “Top Gun,” “Master and Commander,” and “An Officer And A Gentleman” are the only things playing.

5. Pen springs

It could be a long time before hitting port, so use a pen spring to protect your charger cables from crimping. Coffin lockers are notorious for ruining perfectly good cables. I recommend a Neiko Steel kit for their size selection.

6. Laundry wash bags

Skivvies and socks go missing in the ship’s laundry all the time. Use a medium size wash bag with your name written on it to ensure return. Don’t exceed more than two pairs of skivvies and two pairs of socks per bag to get a good wash.

7. Baby wipes

Speaking of skivvies, use baby wipes to prevent earning the skid of the day award. Baby wipes prevent rashes and preserve the ego.

8. Cigarettes and chewing tobacco

Even if you don’t smoke or dip, take a couple of cartons of cigarettes and chewing tobacco to use as bartering chips. You’d be amazed at what people are willing to give up for a tobacco fix.

9. Packs of energy shots

Whether you’re a snipe or an airedale, it’s important to stay alert, and it could mean the difference between life or death. Pack some energy shots for backup. We recommend RuckPack because they give you the extra boost without the jitters.

10. Packs of dry noodles

The galley is only open during specified hours, but work doesn’t just stop. Pack a box of dry noodles to prevent from going hungry when your schedule doesn’t align with the galley’s hours.

11. Hot water dispenser

You can’t eat those dry noodles without hot water. Hot water dispensers are especially handy for airedales whose break time is determined by the flight schedule.

12. Febreze

Sailors live in close quarters to other shipmates. With racks (Navy bunks) stacked three high in berthings that can have 80 or more people, they have to endure each other’s funk. Take some Febreze to help you tame the smells.

13. Foot locker storage bin

Personal space on a ship is limited to your coffin rack and a stand-up locker. However, if you have a good relationship with your LPO and shop mates, you can probably take a foot locker that you can store in the shop. These are great for storing your bartering items and port souvenirs.

Would you add anything to this list? Add it in the comments.

NOW: 19 terms only sailors will understand

OR: 8 text messages from you Master Chief you never want to read

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5 ways troops go to the bathroom while in field

Everyone has to hit the head (bathroom) at least a few times a day (if you don’t, you should probably consult with a doctor ASAP). For troops in the field, using the restroom might not always be as easy as just visiting the nearest toilet.

In fact, some forward-deployed troops don’t even have access to running water, so flushing their waste away through a series of pipes would simply be impractical.


So, how do troops make a number one or two while in the field? Well, keep reading and be slightly amazed!

“Piss pipes”

This might sound like some new way to smoke tobacco, but it’s far, far from it. These public urinals are constructed from large pipes that are halfway buried. This way, all the human pee collects several feet underground instead of pooling on the surface.

Cat holes

You know how cats sometimes burr small holes in the kitty litter before dropping the payload? Well, the military adapted that idea when it comes to human waste disposal and created what are known, aptly, as “cat holes.”

According to field manuals, proper cat holes are 12-inches long, 12-inches wide, and 12-inches deep. This method of waste disposal is meant to be temporary and quickly covered up if a squad needs to get on the move.

WAG Bags

Have you ever made brown in a Ziploc bag? Well, if you have, that’s exactly what it’s like taking a dump in a WAG bag — except this one has a bunch of biodegradable odor neutralizers inside.

Since holding a WAG bag open while taking care of business isn’t easy, use some sort of container (like a bucket) to keep the bag open.

Straddle trenches

Remember the cat hole we talked about earlier, and how they’re made for temporary use? Well, the straddle trenches are like that — only permanent. To properly use the straddle trench, squat over the rectangular hole and release.

According to Army regulations, the trenches are supposed to be 1-foot wide, 2 1/2-feet deep, and 4-feet long.

Porta-Johns

Yes, we have “Porta-sh*tters” located on the frontlines. For the most part, they’re located on the larger FOBs. To keep these maintained, allied forces pay local employees who live nearby to pump the human discharge out of the poop reservoirs.

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The 32 best military movie quotes of all-time

Hollywood is known for riddling military movies with technical errors, but from “Full Metal Jacket” to “Stripes,” the movie industry gets it right with plenty of quotable military movies.


Here are WATM’s picks for 32 of the best ever:

1. “I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn’t find one of ’em, not one stinkin’ dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like … victory. Someday this war’s gonna end.” — Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore, “Apocalypse Now” (1979)

2. “When I go home people will ask me, ‘Hey Hoot, why do you do it man? What, you some kinda war junkie?’ You know what I’ll say? I won’t say a goddamn word. Why? They won’t understand. They won’t understand why we do it. They won’t understand that it’s about the men next to you, and that’s it. That’s all it is.” — Norman “Hoot” Hooten, “Black Hawk Down” (2001)

3. “You have to think about one shot. One shot is what it’s all about.” — Michael, “The Deer Hunter” (1978)

4. “Keep the sand out of your weapons, keep those actions clear. I’ll see you on the beach.” — Capt. John Miller, “Saving Private Ryan” (1998)

5. “Are you smoking this sh-t so’s to escape from reality? Me, I don’t need this sh-t, I am reality. There’s the way it ought to be, and there’s the way it is.” — Staff Sgt. Barnes, “Platoon” (1986)

6. “Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.” — Gen. George Patton, “Patton” (1970)

7. “My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.” — Maximus, “Gladiator” (2000)

8. “The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he’s pretty sure you’re f–ked.” — Stephen, “Braveheart” (1997)

9. “Aim small, miss small.” — Capt. Benjamin Martin, “The Patriot” (2000)

10. “Out here, due process is a bullet!” — Col. Mike Kirby, “The Green Berets” (1968)

11. “Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war? … He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.” — Gen. Jack D. Ripper, “Dr. Strangelove” (1964)

12. “I feel the need . . . the need for speed.” — Lt. Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, “Top Gun” (1986)

13. “Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Nazi scalps… And I want my scalps!” — Lt. Aldo Raine, “Inglourious Basterds” (2009)

14. “Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy f–king walrus-looking piece of sh-t! Get the f–k off of my obstacle! Get the f–k down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-D–KS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!” — Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, “Full Metal Jacket” (1987)

15. “Ideals are peaceful. History is violent.” —Wardaddy, “Fury” (2014)

16. “I ain’t got time to bleed.” — Blain, “Predator” (1987)

17. “I could have killed ’em all, I could kill you. In town you’re the law, out here it’s me. Don’t push it. Don’t push it or I’ll give you a war you won’t believe. Let it go. Let it go.” —Rambo, “First Blood” (1982)

18. “Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty… For tonight, we dine in hell!” — King Leonidas, “300” (2006)

19. “All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the Corps! A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal’s a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the Corps!” — Sgt. Apone, “Aliens” (1986)

20. “You still think it’s beautiful to die for your country. The first bombardment taught us better. When it comes to dying for country, it’s better not to die at all.” — Paul Baumer, “All Quite on the Western Front” (1930)

21. “Sir, Custer was a p-ssy. You ain’t.” — Sgt. Maj. Plumley, “We Were Soldiers” (2002)

22. “Sir, I got lost on the way to college, sir.” — Anthony Swofford, “Jarhead” (2005)

23. “Remember Sully when I promised to kill you last? I lied.” — John Matrix, “Commando” (1985)

25. “Only two kinds of people are gonna stay on this beach: those that are already dead and those that are gonna die. Now get off your butts. You guys are the Fighting 29th.” — Brig. Gen. Norman Cota, “The Longest Day” (1962)

26. “F–kin’ badass, I was there. F–kin’ took him out at 400 yards, head popped up three feet in the air. Crazy shot, man.”

27. “Yes they had weapons! You think there’s a script for fighting a war without pissing somebody off? Follow the rules and nobody gets hurt? Yes, innocent people probably died. Innocent people always die but I did not exceed my orders.” — Col. Terry Childers, “Rules of Engagement” (2000)

28. “We’re Airborne. We don’t start fights, we *finish* ’em!” —Galvan, “Hamburger Hill” (1987)

29. “Lighten up, Francis.” — Sgt. Hulka, “Stripes” (1981)

30. “My name is Gunnery Sergeant Highway. I’ve drunk more beer, banged more quiff, pissed more blood, and stomped more ass than all of you numb-nuts put together.” — Gunny Highway, “Heartbreak Ridge” (1986)

31. “All I ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.” — Master Sgt. Ernie Bilko, “Sgt. Bilko”

32. “You see Danny, I can deal with the bullets, and the bombs, and the blood. I don’t want money, and I don’t want medals. What I do want is for you to stand there in that f–goty white uniform and with your Harvard mouth extend me some f–king courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely.” — Col. Nathan Jessep, “A Few Good Men” (1992)