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The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

Lieutenants never get much respect. What do you expect, though? You send a 22-year-old new college grad to officer candidates school for a few weeks and expect him to be in charge of a platoon of grizzled combat veterans… What could possibly go wrong? It’s the brain-damaged leading the blind. Every rank has some major archetypes, and lieutenants are no different. Here are six types you’re probably already familiar with.


1. Lt. Clueless

 

Quote: “If that’s not how we’re supposed to use a compass, then why did they teach it at The Basic School?”

The conventional view is that ALL lieutenants are clueless, but that can’t really be the case, or else the service would be even more screwed than it already is. All LTs take a while to get up to speed, but Lt. Clueless seems to be coming more undone every day, not less.

He’s smart enough to graduate college in basketweaving, phys ed, criminal justice, or some similar bullsh*t degree, but not smart enough to keep track of his own rifle. The upside is that stealing his firing pin will be easier.

Everyone under Clueless is counting the hours until the company commander finally figures out that one of his platoon commanders spends his free time chewing crayons. They just hope it comes before deployment, when some of them might have to patrol with him.

Also read: 8 things a boot lieutenant should never say

2. Lt. Tacticool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5IWHxiwYMg

 

Quote: “I got this kickass rig online at Brigade Quartermaster. Yeah, it’s Kydex.”

One of the best things about the military is that it lets you play with cool toys. Don’t tell Lt. Tacticool that the gear he’s issued is really all he needs, because that’s not the point. The point is to be just a little better equipped than anyone else. He spends his entire paycheck shopping online for the same gear used by Delta Force. Lt. Tacticool works in admin or in logistics or as a pilot. That doesn’t stop him from needing dumbass items, like a drop holster that can’t be worn on a walk longer than 100 meters but looks absolutely badass.

If the gun doesn’t work, though, he’s got three concealed punch knives as backup. Don’t worry. He’ll make up for all the extra weight with $200 custom gel boot inserts.

That isn’t to say that there aren’t Tacticools in the infantry, but the laughter of their fellow lieutenants usually shames them into relative normalcy before too many enlisted grunts join in on the ribbing. These LTs live in closeted gear-queerness, wasting their paychecks in more subtle ways, like snatching up $1,000 GPS altimeter watches.

3. Lt. Beast

 

Quote: “I can’t believe they pay me to do this sh*t! Hells yeah!

The Beast, on the other hand, does reside disproportionately in the combat arms. It’s just as well because if he were in logistics, all his troops would be hiding under their desks by the end of the day. Everyone else groans when a unit hump is announced. The Beast adds extra weight to his pack. He says, “If it ain’t rainin’, we ain’t trainin’!” unironically.

The Beast honestly can’t figure why others don’t enjoy it when things suck. He thinks “embrace the suck” is a religion, not a sarcastic comment. He’s into Crossfit because of course he is. He’s also signed up for Tough Mudder, Spartan Race, and some obscure event involving dragging one’s testicles through broken glass for 26.2 miles in the Sierra Nevadas.

The Beast is absolutely the perfect individual to have around in the middle of a close-quarters battle. Unfortunately, he’s also the last individual you want anywhere that isn’t in the middle of an active firefight.

Related: 4 epic reasons why Lieutenant Dan needs his own movie

4. Lt. Nerd

 

Quote: “My paper on military organization based on fractal principles is getting published in Joint Forces Quarterly next month!”

Lt. Nerd is, on paper, the perfect military officer. He went to a good school and was near the top of his class in all of his training. He’s read the Professional Military Education reading list through colonel. He’s working on his master’s degree. He’s even starting a new podcast next week, called Tactics Talk, so he can share his hard-earned wisdom with upwards of half a dozen people.

He is doing great, at least in his own mind. Unfortunately, the military is basically high school. The jocks run the school. Even though he has bars on his collar, the Nerd gets no respect.

5. Lt. Mustang

 

Quote: “Gunny, really? What. The. F*ck.”

The prior-enlisted officer, or “Mustang,” is definitely a little different than the typical lieutenant, not least because he’s nearly a decade years older than most of his peers. He has a few more tattoos than them, too.

Knowing the ropes is his superpower. PT, usually not so much. He’s gained a few pounds and lost a few steps compared to his new, young friends in the officer corps.

Most of the enlisted think it’s great that their lieutenant was once one of them. The platoon sergeant isn’t necessarily so thrilled. He’s pleased to get a lieutenant that he doesn’t need to hide sharp objects from. On the other hand, he can’t get rid of his lieutenant for a whole day by asking him to pick up a box of grid squares.

More: The basic civilian’s guide to NCOs vs. Officers

6. Lt. Niedermeyer

 

Quote: “Is that a wrinkle… on your uniform!”

Military life naturally attracts those with attention to detail and a desire for order. Unfortunately, there can always be too much of a good thing.

You can generally find Lt. Niedermeyer in the parking lot, trolling for salutes — or, rather, for those missing salutes — so he can joyfully berate them. Of course, a true Niedermeyer counsels like a drill instructor — loudly, yet sans profanity, because profanity would be contrary to regulations. Doggone it, Devil Dog!

The good thing about Niedermeyer is that he always follows the rules. The bad thing about Niedermeyer is that he always follows the rules. The worst thing is that if you want to know who your commanding general will be in 20 years or so, look no further because Niedermeyer is going places.

MIGHTY TRENDING

Behind the scenes of the Trump-Macron bromance

French president Emmanuel Macron arrived April 23, 2018, as the first world leader President Donald Trump invited for a state visit.

Friendship bloomed between the two leaders in the year since Macron’s election victory, including dinner at the Eiffel Tower, an epic handshake battle, and publicly gushing about each other.


Macron ran as part of a centrist party of his own creation with globalist goals, and has grown increasingly close with Trump despite their fundamental policy differences.

A cheery public image and the successful joint airstrike by the US, Britain, and France on Syria’s government forces in response to the chemical attack set an optimistic stage for the state visit and future partnerships in policy. But the reality of future potential could be overblown, Brookings Institution foreign policy fellow Célia Belin warned.

“There are areas where the French/American cooperation can be strong and immediate, especially when they share a common, precise goal like in the small, punitive strikes on Syria,” Belin said. “But overall they won’t have the same approach on a number of things.”

Macron founded the République en Marche, or the Republic on the Move, to provide France with a reformist alternative to far-right parties that share Trump’s suspicion toward globalism and favoring of closed borders.

“Macron was just talking last week about how there’s a civil war in Europe between a liberal democracy and authoritarianism,” Ian Bremmer, president of geopolitical-risk firm Eurasia Group, told Business Insider. “If he was being honest about the US, he’d say the same thing and Trump would be on the other side.”

The roots of their bromance

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
President Donald Trump and President Emmanuel Macron
(Official White House Photo by Shealah Craighead)

Trump and Macron’s strong relationship is due in no small part to their common backgrounds, said former US diplomat and Global Situation Room President Brett Bruen.

Macron rose to prominence in French banking, an uncommon path to the presidency comparable to Trump’s roots in real estate.

“He understands intrinsically this kind of language that Trump needs to hear,” Bruen said. “Trump needs to hear profit and loss, he needs to hear return on investment.”

After another tough week of legal troubles facing his personal lawyer, Trump insulated the state dinner from his recent troubles, breaking precedent by excluding Democrats and the media from the guest list.

Their personal relationship is at the center of Macron’s state visit, as White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said ahead of the French president’s arrival April 23, 2018, the administration expected an “open and candid discussion because of the relationship they built.”

Other world leaders could learn from Macron

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
French First Lady Brigitte Macron, French President Emmanuel Macron, President Donald Trump, and First Lady Melania Trump
(DoD photo by Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class Dominique Pineiro)

Though their personal chemistry is often in the spotlight, it’s Trump’s high-profile legal troubles that could hinder the kind of progress Macron is hoping for, Bremmer said. Macron notably wants Trump to keep the US in the Iran nuclear deal, which Trump has called “the worst deal ever.”

“Trump is under an enormous amount of pressure domestically,” he said. “No matter who Trump meets with, his focus is mostly on the investigation. You see that with his tweets, you see that with his statements.”

As for their partnership so far, Macron has already succeeded in getting close to the president in a way no other world leader has, Bruen said, and that could serve as an example to other world leaders in how to deal with Trump because of his unique approach to policy.

“It’s a model for other world leaders to look at if they want to get things done, not just get along,” Bruen said. “They have to find a way to establish that common ground with an unconventional leader — and Trump won’t be the only unconventional leader.”

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY FIT

You are the weakest link: glute version

A single weak link in your body can have dramatic effects on everything else you do. Even a poorly placed papercut can mess with your trigger, or gaming, finger. Imagine what could happen if your largest muscle group is weak and underdeveloped.

I’ll give you an idea. With weak glutes, you’ll struggle to walk, run, sit, lift, bend, and kick properly. Weak glutes, aka flabby or nonexistent asscheeks, could be the culprit for your poor performance and nonspecific pain. Why do we let our butts lag behind the rest of our body?

Simple: we can’t see them.

If a bear sh*ts in the woods and no one is there to smell it–did it really sh*t?


The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

Some glute work on ship.

(Photo by: Petty Officer 3rd Class John McGovern)

If you go to the one club that is on the restricted liberty list, but no one is there to catch you–did you break any rules?

If you never train legs, and only take ab and bicep selfies–are there even muscles on the backs of your legs?

Despite the lack of evidence in your Instagram history, here are a few indications that your glutes are weak and underdeveloped.

You have knee, hip, or low back pain

Your body functions as a singular unit. When you walk, your glutes are supposed to stabilize your hips so that they remain level even when one leg is off the ground. If your glutes don’t stabilize, you could experience pain. You can see a good example of how a weak butt causes knees to collapse in over time in anyone with knock-knees.

Issues can become increasingly exaggerated if you are more front (quad) dominant as well as having weak glutes. Think of your body like a scale: if your anterior (front side) muscles “outweigh” your posterior (back side) muscles, the imbalance will result in some type of pain, often in the lower back, hips, or knees.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

Any imbalances will have the spotlight put on them when deadlifting 2x your body weight

(Photo by Alora Griffiths on Unsplash)

Further down the chain from your knees are your feet and ankles. A quick sign to see if you might have weak glutes is if you have a low arch or flat feet. Though you could have flat feet with no issues, if you weren’t born with them, they may be a sign of weak glutes.

If you have unexplained lower back pain and can’t seem to fix it, the glutes could be your cure. Think about it like this: if you build a city on a fault line, issues are going to develop from the lack of stability. Same thing goes for your back trying to function properly on weak and unstable glutes.

Besides the obvious negative implications of being a slower runner or weaker hiker, these issues will make all aspects of life more difficult, including reading this article from your comfortable chair and air-conditioned office…POG.

Quick ways to fix weak glutes

If you don’t notice your ass firing when you walk, try some of these exercises until they do. Often it’s not only that the glutes are weak, but also that they just don’t turn on at all. If you can’t get them to turn on, then you can’t make them stronger.

[instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/BVGF8-Hhi1c/?hl=en expand=1]Dr. Jacob Harden on Instagram: “KNOCK KNEES ROUTINE For tonight, @quaddoc put together a little something to help you out with knock knees. Knock knees has the femur…”

www.instagram.com

Learn to squat without your knees collapsing in

It’s called the valgus knee collapse and is probably the most common squatting error I see. If you allow your knees to cave in when you squat, you are taking your largest muscle group of the movement out of the exercise. Think about twisting your knees apart when you squat so that they are tracking over your toes. When practicing this, you should feel your glute medius turn on and stay active throughout the movement. You’ll feel this in the upper outer edges of your ass cheeks.

The Rock CRUSHING 455lb Hip Thrusts

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Implement hip thrusts into your routine

There is an ever-expanding amount of research showing that the hip thrust is superior in activating the glutes and building a strong posterior chain. If that doesn’t sell you….The Rock does them. You are not more BA than The Scorpion King, so start hip thrusting. Here’s a great intro to the exercise.

STOP deadlifting until you learn how to do THIS/How To:Romanian DL

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Teach yourself to deadlift properly

One of the top mistakes in deadlifting is squatting the deadlift. This is wrong. The deadlift is THE exercise when it comes to posterior chain development…if you do it right. If you are squatting this movement, you are using your quads, further exacerbating an anterior-posterior chain imbalance. Learn to hinge at your hips and stop bending your knees so much, so your soon to be ripe Georgia peach of a backside will thank you later.

The litmus test for well-developed glutes is simple:

If you don’t get compliments from your significant other about your butt, it is small and weak.

Make them hate to see you leave, but love watching you walk away.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
MIGHTY MOVIES

The Iron Soldiers just named a tank after ‘The Rock’

The Iron Soldiers assigned to the 1st Squadron 1st Cavalry Regiment, 1st Armored Division named one of their tanks after Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and to be honest, we don’t blame them.

Johnson’s response was exactly what you’d expect from the proven supporter of the troops:


[instagram https://www.instagram.com/therock/p/BvDYWe5hkIN/ expand=1]@therock on Instagram: “I’m sending a salute of respect & gratitude to the Blackhawk Squadron ?? 1st Armored Division for the honor of naming their tank (the most…”

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“I’m sending a salute of respect gratitude to the Blackhawk Squadron 1st Armored Division for the honor of naming their tank (the most advanced in the world) Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. Heavy duty, bad ass, sexy AF, and built to take care of business.”

Johnson comes from a military family and has made it a habit to give back to the military community, including hosting the inaugural “Rock the Troops” event at Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickam in 2016, partnering with under Armour’s Freedom initiative, and donating a car to a combat vet.

“But most importantly, thank you all for your service. Grateful to the bone,” he shared on Instagram.

The post received more than 2 million likes in the first few days.

The 1st Armored Division tweeted a picture of the tank, complete with Johnson’s famous moniker stamped in black along the gun, which is currently at Fort Bliss, Texas.

“If you smell what America’s Tank Division is cooking!” Shoutout to the #IronSoldiers assigned to the @Blackhawk_SQDN for naming one of their tanks in homage to the @TheRock. Hopefully the “People’s Champ” will see it and give you guys a shoutout and a retweet! #TuesdayThoughtspic.twitter.com/xMm2aKBArS

twitter.com

According to Stripes, naming tanks is a “heated process.” The crews offer suggestions but the leadership has to approve. Some units have traditions around the namings (Company B, 1st Battalion, 15th Infantry Regiment chooses names that begin with the letter “B”).

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

Kudos to the Iron Soldiers. If I were going into battle, I’d want those guns riding with me, too.

Featured

Quarantine can’t stop this 97-year-old WWII pilot from dancing to Justin Timberlake outside in socks

A video has gone viral of 97-year-old World War II veteran Chuck Franzke stepping outside on his front porch to do a little quarantine dance to none other than Justin Timberlake’s Can’t Stop the Feeling.


Franzke, more affectionately known as “Dancing Chuck,” has been dancing for years. In an interview with the Milwaukee Journal Sentinal in 2017, he said, “Some music starts playing and I just start bouncing around. When the music stops, I go back and sit down. I’m just an average guy. I figure I’ve got a soft floor to land on and I just go where I go.”

His video has inspired countless people to get out and move and praise for him poured in from across the world. But no tribute was more touching than the words from the one and only, Justin Timberlake.

Timberlake shared that he actually got really choked up watching it. “I’ve had so many different friends of mine that texted me about Chuck, and so Chuck.. he’s a certified badass already because of his vet status, but 97? I hope I’m like that when I’m 57.”

Justin Timberlake is Blown Away by Viral Dances to His Songs

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Justin Timberlake is Blown Away by Viral Dances to His Songs

Timberlake reacts to Doja Cat and WWII Veteran Chuck Franzk sharing videos dancing to his music.

Franzke was a Navy pilot in World War II and married his high school sweetheart. The couple was recently interviewed by WTVR about celebrating their 80th anniversary together. In that interview, wife Beverly said, “I would marry him all over again.”

“Well I would ask you,” Chuck replied.

“She’s a good girl and a good woman,” Chuck said.

Franzke served as a U.S. Navy pilot from 1943-1945, flying Avenger torpedo bombers off of the USS Saginaw Bay in the Pacific Theater.

Keep dancing, Chuck. What a bright spot in quarantine!

MIGHTY TACTICAL

These 8 fighters served decades beyond “retirement” as drones

You may think that when a plane is retired by the Air Force, the Department of Defense is simply done with it. The only options from here are being sold second-hand, getting scrapped, becoming a museum installation, or getting lucky and becoming a civilian warbird. Well, there is another option – planes can continue to serve, but that service usually comes to a fiery end.

That’s because old fighters make for useful target drones. These eight successful fighters all found use well after retirement.


The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

A F6F Hellcat meets its end at the hands of an AIM-9B Sidewinder missile in 1957, more than a decade after the end of World War II.

(U.S. Navy)

1. F6F Hellcat

Over 11,000 F6F Hellcats were produced, so it’s no surprise that this classic ended up doing target drone duty. In the late 1950s, Hellcats served as targets for the early versions of the AIM-9 Sidewinder. Today, the FAA shows only 11 registered Hellcats.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

The QF-86 Sabre was still in service with the United States military in 1991 – four decades after F-86 Sabres blasted Commies out of the sky.

(U.S. Navy photo by PH2 Bruce Trombecky)

2. F-86 Sabre

The most famous plane of the Korean War didn’t leave service when the Air National Guard retired its last F-86 in the 1970s. Instead, F-86s served as target drones in the 1990s — long after they dominated MiG Alley.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

A F-16 Fighting Falcon takes down a QF-100 Super Sabre in a test of the AIM-120 AMRAAM.

(USAF)

3. F-100 Super Sabre

The F-100 Super Sabre also saw years of post-retirement service as a target for missiles. The AIM-120 Advanced Medium-Range Air-to-Air Missile’s deadliness was honed on QF-100 Super Sabres.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

The F-102 served as a target drone into the 1980s.

(USAF)

4. F-102 Delta Dagger

Former President George W. Bush’s old steed saw some service as a target drone for a decade after its retirement. The last of the QF-102/PQM-102s were shot down in 1986.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

The Air Force bought less than 300 F-104s, but some became target drones.

(USAF)

5. F-104 Starfighter

This plane didn’t see much service with the United States, but was purchased in large numbers by American allies. The QF-104 extended the F-104’s otherwise brief service with the United States military.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

The F-106 Delta Dart was replaced by the F-15 in the 1980s, but those that were turned into target drones came within a couple of years of serving into the 21st century.

(NASA photo)

6. F-106 Delta Dart

The F-106 Delta Dart succeeded the F-102 as an interceptor in the 1960s, so it seems natural the QF-106 would succeed the QF-102/PQM-102 force as targets. The Delta Dart’s last mission as a target drone was in 1997.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

The QF-4 Phantom served for over two decades as an oversized clay pigeon for various missile tests.

(Wikimedia Commons photo by Jon Hurd)

7. F-4 Phantom

The F-4 was a workhorse for the United States Air Force, Navy, and Marine Corps for decades. However, it also put in roughly two decades as a drone. It finally flew its last mission in 2016.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

The QF-16 Fighting Falcon will be serving as a target drone for the foreseeable future.

(USAF photo by MSgt. J. Scott Wilcox)

8. F-16 Fighting Falcon

The F-16 replaced some F-4s in active United States Air Force service – as well as in the Air National Guard and Air Force Reserve. Now, the first QF-16 target drones are taking flight as targets for missile tests.

The fighters that end up as target drones meet a noble end. Though they no longer fly missions in-theater, they ensure that the missiles used by American military personnel are reliable.

MIGHTY HISTORY

8 reasons not to get that Crusader tattoo

Wars are violent, brutal, and bloody. The Crusades were no exception, just one more in a long line of useless, stupid wars that people now romanticize for some reason.


The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
The least romantic war is the Nagorno-Karabakh War, but only because none of you know where that is.

The lasting legacy of the Crusades is used to support international terrorism against the West, to explain the relationship between the Christian and Muslim worlds in poorly-researched history papers, and is used as a meme on the internet by people who are “proud to be an infidel.”

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
Trigger warning: If this is your jam, you probably aren’t going to like the rest of this list.

With the Crusades, there was no good guy or bad guy. The truth is that European power was on the rise at the end of the first millennium. Christendom was finally able to respond to the Islamic wars of expansion that rose from the founding and spread of Islam in the Middle East.

But even with all that money and power, the Christian kings of Europe were still stupid, inbred products of the Middle Ages. The Islamic powers in the Middle East were struggling against each other for regional dominance.

The two were bound to butt heads.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

Muslim armies and Christian armies could be equally brutal. I mean it when I say there is no good guy or bad guy. Between one and three million people died in the Crusades – one percent of the world’s population at the time. It doesn’t matter who started it, after nine crusades (only the first and sixth being anything close to a “success”), these wars were ridiculously destructive, even for medieval combat.

Eventually, the Crusaders were expelled from the Holy Land. And when you really read the history, it makes you wonder how they were able to stay so long.

1. Crusaders weren’t the best strategists.

In 1187, the Islamic leader, Saladin, tricked the Crusader Armies into leaving their fortified position (and their water source) in what is, today, the deserts of Israel by attacking an out-of-the-way fortress near Tiberias. After a brief war council, the Crusaders decided to march on Saladin’s army.

In an open field.

After crossing a desert.

Did I mention they left their water source to walk nine miles in full armor?

They were so thirsty, their lines broke as the knights made for the nearby springs. That’s where Saladin slaughtered them. He began his campaign to recapture Jerusalem the next day, which he did, three months later.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
That’s why water discipline is important.

Arguably the greatest victory for the Crusaders came at Ascalon, after the fall of Jerusalem in 1099. The Crusaders caught the Muslims by surprise, but were still outflanked by an Egyptian army that was actually ready to fight. Luckily, the Crusaders had heavy cavalry the Muslims did not.

But due to petty bickering, they never captured Ascalon.

2. They murdered a lot of Jews.

By 20th century standards, murdering six million Jewish people makes you history’s greatest monster, and rightfully so. To this day, no one can seriously name their child “Adolf” without subjecting it to a lifetime of sideways glances.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
Unless he’s a Kardashian, probably. I dare you, Kim.

But back at the turn of the millennium, no one seemed that concerned. Even though Jewish families both funded and supplied the Crusaders, they were still overly taxed and massacred by the thousands.

During the First Crusade, God supposedly sent German knights an “enchanted goose” to follow. That goose had a totally different agenda. It led them to a Jewish neighborhood, which the knights immediately slaughtered. There were anti-Jewish massacres at cities like Worms, Mainz, Metz, Prague, Ratisbon, and others. Confused about why these are still European cities? Me too. The Crusaders hadn’t even left Europe before they decided to murder Jews.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
I have no idea why every failed state tries to kickstart a recovery by killing Jewish people.

The Crusaders eradicated roughly one-third of Europe’s Jewish population.

3. They also killed a lot of Christians.

The First Crusaders also killed Christians in Byzantium, Zara, Belgrade, and Nis. More than that, they actually had a Crusade against a vegetarian, pacifist sect of Christians in France, called Cathars.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

The Crusade against the Cathars amounted to a genocide. The fun doesn’t stop there. During the Fourth Crusade, Crusaders hitched a ride to Palestine on Venetian ships but ended up not being able to pay Venice for the sealift. Instead of paying them, the Venetians used the Crusader armies to sack Zadar, a city in modern Croatia. They sacked the city and its Christian population fled to the countryside.

Then, they practically broke the seat of power held by Orthodox Christians in the Byzantine Empire, which brings me to…

4. Christianity lost a lot of power because of Crusaders.

When the Fourth Crusade sacked Constantinople, the capital of the Eastern Christian Byzantine Empire, the empire never recovered. By 1453, Ottoman Muslim armies were banging away at the walls and gates of the city.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
Literally.

Crusaders toppled the Byzantine Emperor Alexius III and when his brother tried to submit to the Pope, he was killed in a coup. It caused the Crusaders to declare war and sack the city — during Easter — murdering a lot of Christian inhabitants and destroying much of the fabled city. Which might have been Venice’s 95-year-old, blind leader’s plan the whole time.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
The blind literally leading the blind.

When the Muslim Ottoman Turks took Constantinople, the last Christian empire in the Middle East was gone. Good job, Crusaders.

Muslim armies offered to give control of Jerusalem back to the Crusaders during the Fifth Crusade in exchange for the city of Damietta in Egypt. But the Crusaders refused, so the Muslims took both cities.

5. They lost a lot of important relics.

Legend says that when the Fatimid Caliph wanted to destroy Jerusalem’s Church of the Holy Sepulchre, the supposed site of Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection, Christians hid the True Cross that held his body. The Crusaders, geniuses they were, carried it into battle.

And, of course, lost it to Saladin at the Battle of Hattin.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

On top of that, Europeans, in general, were just obsessed with holy relics during the era. So, things like the buried remains of Catholic saints and items associated with those saints were stolen en masse, many never to be seen again.

6. A lot of them just gave up.

When Frederick Barbarossa died after marching his horse into a damn river (before he could even get to the Third Crusade), many of his knights committed suicide, believing God abandoned them. Others turned around and went home.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

That’s not even the end of it.

When Mehmet II conquered Constantinople, Pope Pius II tried to buy him out instead of fighting him. In exchange for Mehmet converting to Christianity, the Pope offered to “appoint you the emperor of the Greeks and the Orient… All Christians will honor you and make you the arbiter of their quarrels… Many will submit to you voluntarily, appear before your judgment seat, and pay taxes to you. It will be given to you to quell tyrants, to support the good, and combat the wicked. And the Roman Church will not oppose you.”

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
Pius II also enjoyed writing romance novels. That’s not a joke.

7. They just weren’t that good at it.

The first Crusaders were led by two monks, Peter the Hermit (whose proof of leadership was a letter written by God and delivered by Jesus himself) and a guy called Walter the Penniless. The first thing they led the armies of Christendom against was, of course, Jews. And they were really good at that.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

But these weren’t the knights and heavy infantry we’ve come to know. These were people inspired by the idea of taking up the cross — mostly conscripted, illiterate peasants. By the time they reached the Middle East, Peter already abandoned them and Turkish spies lured them out of their camp, into a valley, where the Turks just massacred them.

8. Crusaders literally ate babies.

Not only were they bad at strategy, Crusaders (like most armies of the time, to be honest) were also bad at logistics — you know, the getting of stuff to the fight. Stuff like food.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

A contingent of French knights pillaged, raped, murdered, and tortured people across the Byzantine lands, a decidedly Christian empire. In the countryside near Nicea, they turned to eating the peasants as well, reportedly roasting babies on spikes. When German knights found out, they started doing the same thing.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

But they did the same thing to the Muslims, too. After capturing Maara in 1098, they discovered the city they just laid siege to for a few weeks had no food. Big surprise.

Articles

6 things corpsmen should know before going to the ‘Greenside’

There aren’t many jobs in the military where your sea-duty station consists of serving with another branch. But for the Navy rate of an “HM,” or Hospital Corpsman, that’s exactly where you can expect to find yourself.


After you graduate Field Medical Training Battalion, expect to get orders to the Marine Corps side of the house or what we call, the “Greenside” — sooner rather than later.

We call it the greenside because you’re going to wear a sh*t ton of green for the next three years.

Related: 4 unusual tasks Corpsman do that their recruiters left out

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
Doc, meet the company first sergeant. (imgflip.com)

It can be pretty nerve-wracking for a Corpsman to cross over for the first time. But don’t worry, WATM has your back.

Check out what you should know about heading over to “Greenside.”

1. PT

You don’t have to be a marathon athlete, but don’t let your Marines ever see you fall out of a hike, a run, or get hurt — you’ll look like a p*ssy.

Be the exact opposite of this guy (giphy

2. Chugging a beer

Marines drink a lot of beer during barracks parties. So get your tolerance up and have a few I.Vs handy.

Finding new ways to drink is badass. Plus you’ll look cool. (giphy

3. Always be cool

Marines are trained to love their Doc — they’re also trained to kill. They’re going to look to you for advice from time-to-time. When your grunts do something right, congratulate them.

Great job, Lance Corporal! (giphy)

4. Know every line from “Full Metal Jacket”

Marines love that sh*t when you manage to work a line or two into a conversation. Oh, make sure you have a copy of the movie on your hard drive when you deploy; it’s the “unofficial” movie of the Marine Corps.

Any line will do, as long as it fits the conversation. (giphy)

5. Know your ranks

Marine ranks are different than Navy ones. A Marine Captain is an O-3, compared to a Navy Captain who is an O-6. Big difference.

“Do I look like I’m in the Navy to you!” (giphy)Learn to count chevrons. Senior NCOs’ collar devices can blend into their uniform, making it tough to make out their proper title. Find an alternate way to greet them properly, or you can just take the less populated walkways (aka the long way).

Also Read: 8 tips for ‘skating’ in the military

6. Learn sick call

Face it, the Navy has only given you officially 12-16 weeks worth of medical training. No one is going to ask you to perform open-heart surgery on your first day.

Marines are going to get sick and injured, and that’s your time to shine. When you’re working in the B.A.S., or “battalion aid station,” you’re going to have to explain why your patient is in sick call to the Independent Duty Corpsman or the doctor on staff. Knowing the medical terminology will earn you respect from the Navy doctor to the point they aren’t going to waste their time doing the second examination.

Getting your Marine a day off work or light duty is key. Impress your Marine and your life, and your heavy pack will seem lighter on a hike — it’s a beautiful thing.

Can you think of any more? Comment below.
MIGHTY CULTURE

The Army wants more soldiers, and it’s using esports to put a ‘finger on the pulse’ of potential recruits

After whiffing on its recruiting goal in 2018, the Army has been trying new approaches to bring in the soldiers it needs to reach its goal of 500,000 in active-duty service by the end of the 2020s.


The 6,500-soldier shortfall the service reported in September 2018 was its first recruiting miss since 2005 and came despite it putting $200 million into bonuses and issuing extra waivers for health issues or bad conduct.

Within a few months of that disappointment, the Army announced it was seeking soldiers for an esports team that would, it said, “build awareness of skills that can be used as professional soldiers and use [its] gaming knowledge to be more relatable to youth.”

By January 2019, more than 6,500 soldiers had applied for a team that was expected to have about 30 members. In September 2019, the Army credited the esports team, one of two new outreach teams set up that year, as having “initiated some of the highest lead-generating events in the history of the all-volunteer force.”

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2F5c9bb3f5dc67670a5124f08a%3Fwidth%3D1300%26format%3Djpeg%26auto%3Dwebp&ho=https%3A%2F%2Fi.insider.com&s=15&h=47927b7e7b54a83740065fb68b1412252e6db4073e1b350f21cfc4e552f996db&size=980x&c=3152663958 crop_info=”%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252F5c9bb3f5dc67670a5124f08a%253Fwidth%253D1300%2526format%253Djpeg%2526auto%253Dwebp%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fi.insider.com%26s%3D15%26h%3D47927b7e7b54a83740065fb68b1412252e6db4073e1b350f21cfc4e552f996db%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3152663958%22%7D” expand=1]

Staff Sgt. Michael Showes, far right, with fellow Army Esports Team members and a game enthusiast at an exhibition in San Antonio, January 19, 2019.

US Army/Terrance Bell

“It’s essentially connecting America to its Army through the passion of the gaming community,” Sgt. 1st Class Christopher Jones, noncommissioned-officer-in-charge of the team, said in January 2019.

Team members who were competing would train for up to six hours a day, Jones said at the time, and they received instruction on Army enlistment programs so they could answer questions from potential recruits.

“They will have the ability to start a dialogue about what it is like to serve in our Army and see if those contacts are interested in joining,” Gen. Frank Muth, head of Army Recruiting Command, said in early 2019.

Thousands of soldiers play esports, Muth said, and the audience for it has grown into the hundreds of millions — West Point even recognized its own official esports club in January — but the appeal wasn’t obvious at first to Army leaders, Army Secretary Ryan McCarthy said Friday.

“This was one [idea] that when the first time Gen. Frank Muth briefed … Army senior leadership, we’re like, ‘What are you talking about, Frank?'” McCarthy told an audience at the National Press Club in Washington, DC.

“We’re about 18 months into it,” McCarthy said, and with that team, Army recruiters were “getting their finger on the pulse with 17- to 24-year-old Americans. What are they into? How do they communicate? And [finding] those right venues and shaping our messaging to talk about here’s the 150 different things you can do in the Army and the access to education and the kinds of people that you can meet and being a part of something as special as this institution.”

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The Army Esports Team trailer at ArmyCon 2019, October 12, 2019.

Army Esports Team/Facebook

In 2019, the Army rolled out an esports trailer with four gaming stations inside, as well as a semi-trailer with eight seats that could be adjusted so all eight players played the same game or their own on a gaming PC, an Xbox 1S, a PS4 Pro, and a Nintendo Switch, Jones, the NCO-in-charge, told Task Purpose in October.

One of the senior leaders dispatched to an esports event was Gen. Mark Milley, who was Army chief of staff at the time and is now chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, which is the president’s top uniformed military adviser.

“He said, ‘You’re going to make me do what?'” McCarthy said Friday. “Then when he went, he learned a lot, and he got to engage with young men and women, and what we found is we’re getting millions of leads of 17- to 24-year-olds to feed into Army Recruiting Command to engage young men and women to see if they’d be interested in a life of service.”

The esports team is part of a change in recruiting strategy, McCarthy said, that has focused on 22 cities in traditional recruiting grounds in the South and Midwest but also on the West Coast and the Northeast with the goal of informing potential recruits about what life in the Army is actually like as well as about the benefits of serving, such as money for college or soft skills that appeal to employers.

The service has also shifted almost all its advertising spending to digital and put more uniformed personnel into the Army Marketing Research Group to take more control of its messaging.

McCarthy on Friday called it “a comprehensive approach” to “improve our performance in a variety of demographics, whether that’s male-to-female ratios or ethnicities.” That geographic focus yielded “a double-digit lift” among women and minorities, McCarthy said last year.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2F5e47e8493b62b732c91515c2%3Fwidth%3D1300%26format%3Djpeg%26auto%3Dwebp&ho=https%3A%2F%2Fi.insider.com&s=690&h=f974abec753166744e583d09692388081e2e789fc4488de259574fc7bdc32e61&size=980x&c=3764889681 crop_info=”%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252F5e47e8493b62b732c91515c2%253Fwidth%253D1300%2526format%253Djpeg%2526auto%253Dwebp%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fi.insider.com%26s%3D690%26h%3Df974abec753166744e583d09692388081e2e789fc4488de259574fc7bdc32e61%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3764889681%22%7D” expand=1]

Army Gen. Frank Muth, back row, third from right, with members of the Army Esports Team in front of USAE gaming truck, in Washington, DC, October 14, 2019.

US Army Esports Team/Facebook

The outreach hasn’t been universally welcomed.

After the 2018 recruiting shortfall, service chiefs, including then-Army Secretary Mark Esper, said schools were not letting uniformed service members in to recruit. Anti-war activists attempted to disprove that claim by offering ,000 to schools that admitted to barring recruiters.

Suggestions the Army start recruiting children in their early teens also received criticism for both its impracticality and the harm it could do to the military as an institution.

But recruiting has improved year-over-year, hitting the goal set last year and being ahead of pace now, McCarthy said.

“This has been a major turnaround, because I think we just got a little lazy and we started losing touch with young men and women … but you have to sustain this,” McCarthy added. “We’re in a war for talent in this country — 3.5% unemployment, they have a lot of opportunities.”

“We travel to a lot of American cities, and we meet with mayors and superintendents of schools and other civic leaders to try to educate those influencers, to try to help us in recruiting, and it’s yielded tremendous benefit.”

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

Articles

9 Military Uniform Items That Jennifer Aniston Made Into Fashion Staples

From combat to the closet of America’s girl-next-door, check out the military-inspired gear that Jennifer Aniston rocks when she’s out and about:


1. Aviator Sunglasses

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
One of the most recognizable pieces of military-turned-civilian wear, these shades were created for U.S. Air Force pilots in 1936 to help flyboys battle the glaring sun while engaged in air combat. Jen uses them to deflect the flash from paparazzi’s cameras.

2. Khaki Pants

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
These lightweight, sand colored pants helped British soldiers stay cool while touring in India and now keep Jen looking sharp in the studio and on the street.

3. Bomber Jacket

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
These badass leather jackets have been lookin’ fly since the early days of aviation, protecting pilots from the elements as they engaged in air combat. Jen uses hers to stay warm around Manhattan.

4. Desert Boots

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
These suede shoes were made popular in 1950 by off-duty British soldiers serving in North Africa. Modeled after comfortable kicks found in Cairo bazaars, today they help Jen rock the casual look.

5. Cargo Pants

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
First worn by paratroopers in WWII, these well-pocketed pants allowed soldiers to carry radios and extra ammo on their person. Jen uses these clunky classics to carry extra amounts of awesome.

6. Pea Coats

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
This heavy wool coat has helped sailors battle harsh seas and bitter cold for decades, and now keeps Jen looking hot when temperatures drop.

7. Combat Boots

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
This military essential was created to give soldiers grip and ankle stability during combat on rough terrain. Recently though, Jen has incorporated them as a trendy statement piece.

8. Trench Coats

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
An iconic essential for Jen, the trench coat was originally a must-have for soldiers battling the rain, mud and cold during trench warfare in WWI. Hand salute!

9. Camouflage

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military
The most obvious of homages to military gear, camouflage began showing up in civilian wear during the Vietnam era. As Jen demonstates, this pattern will make you stand out, not blend in!

MIGHTY TRENDING

China apparently built world’s first stealth amphibious assault drone

China has built the world’s first stealth amphibious assault drone boat for island warfare, the developer revealed recently, and Chinese military experts believe it could eventually be headed to the disputed South China Sea.

Built for island assault operations and capable of operating on land and at sea, the “Marine Lizard” amphibious drone ship was developed by the Wuhan-based Wuchang Shipbuilding Industry Group, a subsidiary of the state-owned China Shipbuilding Industry Corporation (CSIC).

The 40-foot drone ship operates as a trimaran hydrojet in the water but switches to tracked propulsion as it treads ashore. The company claims it can maintain stealth at speeds up to 50 knots in the maritime domain. On land, though, the assault vehicle is limited to a little over 12 mph. Modifications, specifically increasing the size of the tracks, could offer improved mobility on land.


The vessel’s capabilities have not been publicly demonstrated.

The Marine Lizard, which carries its own onboard radar system, is equipped with two machine guns and vertical launch system cells capable of firing anti-ship and anti-aircraft missiles.

It is capable of “rapid assault and beach landings in accordance with operational requirements,” CSIC explained, adding that it is able to “complete missions such as special operations troop transport, border patrol, near-shore warning operations, and island/reef airport protection.”

The Chinese military has eyes fixed on island warfare, be it a future fight for Taiwan or the contested islands and reefs in the East and South China Seas.

China’s Global Times, citing a Chinese military expert, wrote recently that “this amphibious drone boat is suitable for island assault operations as a swarm of such drone ships could lead an attack following a first wave of artillery and air strikes.”

Observers suspect the Marine Lizard could play a key role in a regional conflict. “In the South China Sea, it can be used to either seize a reef or guard a reef, both offensive and defensive,” Chinese military analyst Song Zhongping told the South China Morning Post.

He added that the craft could be used to launch a surprise attack on an enemy island outpost.

CSIC claims that its new stealth amphibious assault drone, which has an operational range of 745 miles, has the unique ability to lie dormant for up to eight months, activated remotely at ranges of up to 30 miles, and immediately called into action.

The Marine Lizard can also, according to the developers, integrate into Chinese networks for combined arms operations with other unmanned systems relying on China’s Beidou satellite navigation system.

Much like the US, China is preparing for the possibility of high-end conflict. But while Chinese warfighting has traditionally been characterized by the sacrificing of waves of Chinese troops in hopes of overwhelming an enemy, the country is now investing heavily in long-range weapons and unmanned combat systems, challenges that the American armed forces are actively working to counter.

Recently, US and Philippines troops participating in the annual Balikatan exercises practiced repelling an attempt by a foreign military power to seize an airfield on a small island, a not unfathomable possibility given persistent tensions in the South China Sea.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY TRENDING

Veteran amputee was denied a Six Flags ride — but here’s why

Retired Marine Johnny “Joey” Jones, who lost both his legs after stepping on an IED while deployed, was asked to exit a ride at Six Flags Over Georgia; since then, the story has appeared in multiple news outlets and sparked a heated conversation.

The Washington Post reported that Jones was “concerned with the way the park’s policy was presented to him” and that “the policy is too restrictive to accommodate people with disabilities.”

But there’s a good reason for roller coaster parks to be restrictive.


In 2011, U.S. Army Sgt. James Thomas Hackemer was ejected from a ride in a New York theme park and died.

Hackemer had been wounded in 2008 by an armor-penetrating warhead that caused the loss of his left leg and most of his right. He, like Jones, wore prosthetic limbs. After an investigation, a reportedly seven-figure settlement was reached between the lawyers for Darien Lake Theme Park and Resort and Hackemer’s family.

Jones didn’t see the handicapped sign for the ride when he climbed in with his 8 year-old son — but the ride operator noticed Jones’ prosthetics. Jones told The Washington Post that he wasn’t upset about being asked to leave the ride, but rather that the employees didn’t seem trained to properly accommodate his condition.

According to Fox News, Six Flags issued an apology:

“We apologize to Mr. Jones for any inconvenience; however, to ensure safety, guests with certain disabilities are restricted from riding certain rides and attractions,” Six Flags said in a statement to Fox News. “Our accessibility policy includes ride safety guidelines and the requirements of the federal American Disabilities Act. Our policies are customized by ride and developed for the safety of all our guests. Our policies and procedures are reviewed and adjusted on a regular basis to ensure we continue to accommodate the needs of our guests while simultaneously maintaining a safe environment for everyone.”

Nonetheless, Jones took to Twitter to call out the park:

twitter.com

In a follow-up Tweet, Jones maintained that this ride didn’t truly appear to have a safety policy as much as a liability policy, which is where his argument truly appears to stem from.

twitter.com

He’s advocating for fellow amputees and individuals with handicaps so they can feel included — rather than excluded — as they continue to live their lives.

MIGHTY CULTURE

Surprise! Service members drink more on average than any other profession

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention, in conjunction with analysis from the Delphi Behavioral Health Group, showed that military service members drink more than any other profession — much to the surprise of absolutely nobody.


The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

A tale as old as time…

It’s no secret that heavy drinking is a staple of military culture in the U.S. In fact, it’s so significant that military consumption of alcohol can seem like something out of an Onion article — like the time Iceland ran out of beer to serve troops.

The CDC study has confirmed just how severe it is, especially when ranked against literally any other profession.

The study covered over 27,000 people from 25 separate industries, focusing on their drinking frequency from 2013 to 2017. It discovered that the average person has at least one drink on about 91 days of the year.

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

(Photo by Sgt. Rebekka Heite)

However, military members lead all other professions with a whopping 130 days of drinking per year. That’s a drink a day for more than one third of the year.

The next closest profession was miners at 112 days, followed by construction workers at 106 days. Unsurprisingly, manual labor jobs round out the majority of the heaviest drinking jobs.

Okay, so that’s the rate of knocking off for a beer after work — but what about binge drinking?

The 6 types of lieutenants you just can’t avoid in the military

(Photo from US Army)

The Department of Defense, using data from 2015 and 2016, discovered that about 30% of military members reported binge drinking in the month preceding the survey. Marines, specifically, reported doing so at an astronomic rate of 42.6%.

Veterans’ rate of binge drinking has reportedly risen from 14% in 2013 to about 16% in 2017.

This is alarming, as the initial study has also determined that drinking in the U.S. is trending downward. This has not been the case for service members: the number of days that military members drink has risen steadily since 2014.

Researchers attribute PTSD as one of the major factors causing veterans and active duty personnel to drink. Another reason for the surge could be a systemic culture that has allowed casual binge drinking as a rite of passage, or simply a way to pass time in isolated areas.

Whatever the reasoning, one thing is clear, drinking culture in the military is not going away without some major changes.