Most troops take it easy and try to finish up the last things on their checklists before leaving. For most of us, the final weeks of our military service meant it was time to clean gear, say farewells, and hand off duties to the next guy. Many other short-timers, however, mentally ETS well before crossing the finish line.
The last couple of weeks in the military are often treated as a gentle glide back into the civilian world, but some guys take it to the next level and nosedive into laziness while still wearing their uniform. If you're looking to make the most of your lazy days, use these tips:
1. Do some next-level skating
This is one of the few moments in your military career where it's perfectly acceptable to focus on you and what you'll be doing for yourself after you're out. In other words, treat yo' self.
Sham, skate, and be lazy. After a long career in the service, you've earned it.
Just say you're at CIF or you're cleaning your gear for CIF. It's enough of a pain in the ass that everyone will just accept it.
(Photo by Spc. Devona Felgar)
2. Remind everyone of your ETS date
There's a practical aspect to this. Nobody wants to get calls from staff duty asking why you're not there when you've been out for months.
So, be loud about it. Everyone in the unit should know that you're almost at the finish line — and that they shouldn't expect sh*t from you.
Then again, reminding staff duty that you've been gone is fun, too...
(Photo by Chief warrant Officer Daniel McGowan)
3. Start growing that civilian hairstyle
You can't start growing that sick, veteran-AF beard just yet, but you can start growing your hair out.
It still needs to be within regulations, but nobody will bother getting in your face if it's just barely acceptable.
No more barracks haircuts for you!
(U.S. Army photo)
4. Hot potato every one of your responsibilities
Before you're gone, you'll need to successfully hand off your responsibilities to your replacement. What better way to get them used to your workflow than by giving them all of your work?
Divert all work the expected of you from here on out. If you think about it, you're really just helping the replacement.
Let some other unfortunate soul handle cleaning connexes.
5. Spend all of your time at health and dental
One of the biggest regrets among veterans is not logging every single service-related pain and injury. If you get a nagging ailment it verified while you're still in, it's much easier to get taken care of later.
We know — this is a bit of legitimate advice in an otherwise humorous article. If you're determined to simply waste time, swing by the aid station all day, every day.
Dental is unsurprisingly expensive in the real world. Get as much done as you can while you're in.
(Photo by 1st Lt. Rashard Coaxum)
6. Actually go to out-briefing classes
The classes can be helpful and you will need to go for accountability reasons, but it's entirely on you how much you care.
Put in enough effort and maybe take a few extra classes, just to be safe. Your leadership won't want to stop you from trying to improve your odds in the civilian world.
The only hard part of the classes is staying awake.
(Photo by Staff Sgt. Rachel Kocin)