Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY CULTURE

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

The head of the Army Reserve is crashing virtual battle assemblies to get face time with soldiers.

Lt. Gen. Jody Daniels assumed her new role in the summer of 2020, making history as the first woman to lead the Army Reserve. She also stepped in as chief at a time when the pandemic was in full force, ultimately changing how soldiers recruit and train — but not how they lead. In fact, Daniels says the situation has presented opportunities to improve connectedness between soldier and leader.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers
Daniels is the first woman to lead the Army Reserve. Photo by Staff Sgt. Edgar Valdez.

“One of the really great things is, it has enabled us through some of the software to have outreach at all different times visually — that we didn’t necessarily have before — because you could do it from your own personal device. … I think we’ve become more personable, overall.” she said.  

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

But at the same time, Daniels adds that she is “looking to get back to as much of in-person activities as we can do, while protecting the force, while being smart about how we do it.”  

Daniels’ career spans more than 36 years, including active and reserve military service that started when she decided to apply for ROTC scholarships in high school. Her father, a Vietnam veteran, spent decades in the Army but she said he was always “just dad” to her, not the “Army guy.”

She switched components to the Army Reserve after being accepted to a fully-funded, graduate-level program at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst. Daniels completed a M.S. and Ph.D. in Computer Science. She describes the operational pace of leaving active duty as being “a little bit different.” 

“On the reserve side, you have to manage your business, whatever you’re doing for work, or if you’re going to school as a full-time student, like I did for many years; plus, whatever you’re doing for family members and having a life … on the active-duty side, you have perhaps longer days but you probably don’t have a second job as well. So how you balance those things becomes an interesting challenge. I think on the reserve side, we get really good at time management,” Daniels said. 

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

And leaving active duty was not the only cultural change she experienced, she says. A deployment to Kosovo ended up being one of the most impactful billets of her career and tested everything she had been taught up until that point.

“I went over to Kosovo on an all-expense paid trip in the summer of ’99 and I went from intel, where you don’t tell anyone anything, to civil affairs, where you tell everyone everything. And that was sort of a whiplash between the culture I had been in and the culture that I was working in. … So that was a very different change in how I had been operating,” she said.

Now that she has been in her position for some months, Daniels is playing the long game in terms of priorities for what she plans to accomplish. Retention remains at the top of the list, which she says starts with getting soldiers “around the bend.”

“I have a four-year term and I am very much about what I’m calling getting around the bend. The Army Reserve has a unique structure because of the amount of generating force that we have. Instead of being your typical pyramid, we have this sort of diamond shape where I don’t have as many positions at the junior ranks, and then we turn the corner at captain and at sergeant, and go on up to a normal pyramid.

“My challenge is I’m not getting people around the bend, so trying to fill in that specialist to sergeant, and then sergeant to staff sergeant; and then on the officer side, getting those lieutenants to become captains and then go on to be majors — to fill that pipeline up because right now I’ve got my mid-grades are under strength and that’s going to take four years to really push around those bends as much as possible to start filling the pipeline.”  

It isn’t a feat she can finish in four years, she added, but she can make headway in improving the experience of being a junior-level leader. Among the steps she plans to take include: 

1) Look at policies and administrative processes that make jobs at the junior level harder than they need to be;

2) Remove bureaucracy, including having signature authority lower so documents don’t take so long and actions can happen sooner.

The Army Reserve has experienced many changes since Daniels first wore a uniform some three decades ago, which includes the moment she took her oath last July. In addition to technological changes, the mission also shifted from being a strategic reserve to an operational reserve “where we’re called in on a regular basis to help out with various different missions,” she says.

“[It] is a very different mindset from where we were 30-plus years ago,” Daniels said.

For those considering the military as a long-term career, she recommends two focuses.  

“One is, for whatever position you’re doing, do your best at that job. Work hard, learn as much as you can about it, grow yourself and enjoy it, make the most of that opportunity, whatever it is,” she said. “The other advice that I give is to look two positions ahead. So, not your next job but the one after that. Talk to leadership and mentors as to what that set of opportunities can be … and if you find something that is a little further out that could be of great interest, you may need to take a course or learn a little bit about something to be ready for that position that is two out.”

Daniels credits two mentors with pushing her to think outside the horizons she had initially set for herself. The first was an Army boss who gave her the confidence to apply for graduate school; the other was then-Brig. Gen. Rick Sherlock who put the War College on her radar. It is among the reasons she encourages current leaders to look for strengths in people rather than focus on their weaknesses — a sentiment she echoed in her initial message to the force in 2020. 

“My charge to our team is this: treat one another with dignity and respect at all times. Foster a mindset of teamwork, continuous learning, and growth so our Soldiers desire to continue to serve and lead. This culture of teamwork and growth is essential to shaping our future,” the letter stated in part.   

Read the full letter online at www.usar.army.mil.  

Fast facts about Lt. Gen. Daniels

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers
Daniels conducted physical fitness with FORSCOM leadership at the FORSCOM/USARC headquarters at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. Photo by Sgt. 1st Class Javier Orona.

Go-to destress activity: (pre pandemic) whitewater boating in a kayak; (currently) trail running

A top book recommendation for professional development: “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High” by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler

New Year’s resolution: Three years ago, Daniels adopted a functional fitness routine and has maintained that goal. Now, she said, she is less concerned about her ACFT performance because of that commitment.

This article originally appeared on Reserve + National Guard Magazine. Follow @ReserveGuardMag on Twitter.

MIGHTY CULTURE

Here’s the bizarre story of the man who ‘sold the moon’

Back in the halcyon days of the 1980s, when all people of the world had to worry about was total annihilation via widespread nuclear war, an American called Dennis Hope made international news when he revealed that after exploiting a loophole in the 1967 Outer Space Treaty, he had become the sole owner of our nearest celestial neighbour, the Moon. Since then, Hope has made a small fortune selling off pieces of the satellite’s surface. While the media has mostly painted Hope as a harmless eccentric, if you study his story a little more closely, as we’re wont to do, you’ll see that Hope is actually a masterful entrepreneur and almost every aspect of his story is a carefully crafted falsehood or half truth that nonetheless has seen the man himself seemingly earn millions selling nothing more than pieces of paper.


So how did he pull this off? The story goes that, in 1980, Mr Hope was a down on his luck unemployed shoe salesmen, reeling from a divorce and looking for a way to make ends meet. After learning that there was a great deal of money to be made buying and selling property, he states, “I looked out the window, saw the moon and thought, ‘Hey, there’s a load of property!'”

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

The Moon as seen by an observer from Earth.

Hope ran to his local library (for those unfamiliar, a sort of place where they used to store the partial contents of the future internet on the bodies of deceased trees) to research who, if anyone, owned the Earth’s satellite. In that house of plant death, he discovered that, according to the 1967 Outer Space Treaty signed by all space faring nations at the time as well as over 100 others, no country can claim sovereignty over any such celestial body.

Hope’s interpretation of this was that, while the Treaty forbade countries and governments from staking a claim to the Moon, it said nothing about an individual doing so. Towards this end, he filed a claim for ownership of the moon with, to quote him, “his local US Governmental Office for claim registries”. Supposedly after some pushing and prodding, a supervisor at the office signed off on his claim which made him the sole owner of the moon.

As a courtesy, Hope then wrote a letter to the UN and the Russian Government telling them about the claim he was granted by the U.S. government and asking if they wished to challenge it. When they never responded, he began selling off plots of lunar real estate for about an acre (he now charges .99), or slightly more if you also wished to purchase the mineral rights for your particular lunar plot.

Since then, Hope has claimed to have sold “611 million acres of land on the moon, 325 million acres on Mars and a combined 125 million acres on Venus, Io (one of Jupiter’s moons) and Mercury” to approximately 6 million property owners including, according to him, celebrities like Tom Hanks, George Lucas and even former Presidents Carter, Bush Jr and Reagan. He also claims the Hilton and Marriott hotel chains have bought extensive properties from him, along with, to quote him, “1,800 major corporations”.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

George Lucas.

Beyond selling property on the various celestial bodies, he also claims to be the defacto ruler of the “Galactic Government”, which he also states currently has “diplomacy with 30 governments on this planet.” We can only assume by “diplomacy”, he at some point sent an email off that some clerk actually replied to.

Whatever the case, as for the United States, Hope states on his Lunar Embassy website that “We at the Lunar Embassy are pleased that our work since November of 1980, is finally starting to be recognized by the United States of America government as being valid. This is a huge step in the official recognition by the USA…”

As to what this “huge step in the official recognition” of his claim of ownership of the Moon and other such celestial objects was, beyond we’re sure the IRS happy to collect taxes from him, the preceding paragraph on the website indicates that this acknowledgement came in the form of Hope being, to quote, “named co-chairman of the Republican Congressional Business Advisory Council. He has also been given the National Republican Leadership Award and most recently he has been issued the highest honor the National Republican Congressional Committee has, the prestigious Republican Gold Medal.”

We’ll leave it to you to decide how this is “a huge step in the official recognition by the USA” of anything more than Hope’s business acumen.

Moving swiftly on, his Galactic Government is technically the richest in this solar system, as he states, “We have a currency for our government. We’re the only government that has any backing for its currency whatsoever, which are the helium-3 reserves on the surface of the moon. We have quadrillion worth of helium reserves in our treasury right now.”

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers
Giphy

This all brings us around to how much, if any, of Hope’s story is actually true and whether or not he has any genuine legal claim to the Moon.

To begin with, it’s often reported as fact that Hope discovered a loophole in the 1967 Outer Space Treaty that allowed him as an individual to claim ownership over the Moon. However, if you actually read the treaty (it’s kind of what we do here), you’ll find that it very clearly states in Article VI:

The activities of non-governmental entities in outer space, including the moon and other celestial bodies, shall require authorization and continuing supervision by the appropriate State Party to the Treaty

As Hope has never received authorization by any State Party to the Treaty for any activities on the Moon, including ownership, it’s generally agreed by space lawyers that Hope is full of “space-dung” and that the “deeds” he sells are nothing more than a novelty item.

(And if you think we’re making up the whole “space lawyers” bit, this is actually yet another thing your high school guidance councilor failed to mention to you, despite that the International Institute of Space Law was formed all the way back in 1960 and currently has members in nearly 50 countries.)

Going back to Hope, at this point you might be thinking, “But didn’t Hope get just such an authorization by a ‘State Party’ when the ‘US Governmental Office for claim registries’ approved his claim?” Well, a further point of contention on his origin story is that there is no such government office of the United States federal government he could have gone to that deals with registering individual claims to property like this; and further no local state office has the power to officially grant someone the rights to land outside of their jurisdiction either, which the Moon and various planets definitely are.

This hasn’t stopped Hope claiming that a representative of such an office accepted his claim for some reason. Unfortunately, the official documentation of the processing of his claim was supposedly misplaced and for whatever reason, he can’t seem to get an official copy of it from any government office. Instead, he can only provide a copy he made of it. This is a copy, mind you, that is filled with numerous spelling and grammatical errors and that apparently refers to Hope as “THE HEAD CHEESE”…

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers
Giphy

In any event, it should also be noted that the Lunar Deeds Hope sells contain a disclaimer clearly and prominently identifying it as a “novelty” gift.

Nonetheless, Hope himself vehemently insists that the deeds are real. Explaining on his website that the term “novelty” is only used to discourage frivolous lawsuits. He also hilariously points out that “Well, if you look under the true definition of ‘novelty’ as being ‘something that is unique, having the quality of being novel, a small mass-produced item’, we fit exactly that.”

He doubles down on the authenticity here by noting the inclusion of “novelty”

Does not diminish the value of the property that you purchase in any way, as every deed is recorded and registered in the Lunar Embassy’s registration database and every owners information is listed with that registration. You own this property.

He further states that, “17 percent of people buy the product as a novelty item. But we also know that 42 percent of people register the property in the name of a trust they’ve set up, meaning they take it more seriously. And, of course, we also know that the major corporations who own land have a specific intent for it.”

We’ll spare you more such claims, but suffice it to say, if you look over his company’s website, they are pretty adamant that what they are selling is actually rights to property on the moon, and helpfully even have a whole section of one of their web pages dedicated to helping people spot fraud… because if one thing is clear above all others — Hope definitely has a great, dead-pan sense of humor.

All that aside, despite Hope’s aforementioned claims that only 17% of buyers think it’s a novelty item, we feel pretty confident that most people buying these “deeds” know full well it’s all just a fun gag gift, which brings us to the big question — has Hope actually achieved the “American dream”, earning “a million dollars” off his little business venture?

Well, as noted, Hope claims he’s sold “611 million acres of land on the moon, 325 million acres on Mars and a combined 125 million acres on Venus, Io (one of Jupiter’s moons) and Mercury.” Given the prices he’s selling such at ( and up per acre) and that the total here is over a billion acres sold, this means Hope is officially one of the richest people in the world, even if we assume he offers steep discounts for bulk buys, which for what it’s worth, on his website he currently does not seem to offer.

Speaking of his obscene wealth, Hope claims that in 2011 an organization approached him and offered to buy the entire north pole of the Moon for a whopping million, but he turned their offer down. His reason? “We want to make sure people have what is needed for living at an inexpensive price.”

We’re going to be honest here, we’re not entirely sure what he was trying to say there…

Whatever the case, Hope notes that his current net worth is well over 0 trillion dollars in land alone, owing to his ownership of over 7 trillion acres of extraterrestrial properties.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers
Giphy

Beyond the land, Hope, of course claims to own exclusive mineral rights to, by his estimate, quadrillion dollars of Helium 3 on the Moon alone. This isn’t mentioning the countless deposits of minerals and resources on the other celestial bodies he claims to own, such as the rich methane deposits hidden deep inside Uranus…

(Full disclosure here, the co-author of this article chose this topic solely so he could make that Uranus joke he had thought up… more on the whole methane/Uranus thing in the Bonus Facts later…)

But going back to Hope, we’re just saying, the IRS might want to look into his taxes to make sure he’s properly paying on everything, as we’re pretty sure we’ve just figured out how to solve the United States’ national debt problem.

All joking aside, how much has Hope actually made from all this?

Well, really, only the IRS and Hope knows.

But given the fact that Hope seemingly has had no other job since 1995, we’re guessing he’s at least done reasonably well, and certainly given it would take only about ,000 a year average to crest the id=”listicle-2639263711″ million mark in the near four decades he’s been doing this, he has easily eclipsed the classic American Dream trope of making “a million dollars” off little more than an idea and a bit of elbow grease — or, in his case, some high quality paper, printer ink, and sufficient postage.

Bonus Facts:

  • Hope was not the first to claim to own the Moon, nor the last. There is one man, however, who has the strongest claim of all — computer game designer Richard Allen Garriott de Cayeux. Why? He is the only individual to legally own something that is currently on the Moon. In 1993, he purchased the Lunokhod 2 and the Luna 21 lander for ,500 at an auction. As he notes, “I purchased Lunakod… from the Russians. I am now the world’s only private owner of an object on a foreign celestial body. Though there are international treaties that say, no government shall lay claim to geography off planet earth, I am not a government. Summarily, I claim the moon in the name of Lord British!” Funny enough, beyond also being the son of an astronaut, he’s also the only person who claims to own the Moon to have actually been to space. He did so via paying million to visit the International Space Station in October of 2008, spending 12 days there. As another fun fact about Garriott, he is generally credited as being the one to coin the term “Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game” (MMORPG).
  • Going back to the Methane in Uranus, it turns out that, contrary to popular belief, methane in any measurable amount in most people’s flatus is not terribly common, with only about 1/3 of humans having measurably significant amounts in their farts. Even then, in one small study (looking at only ten people’s farts and experimenting around a bit with their diets during the study), it was found that those that did have measurable amounts of methane only produced it when fed significant amounts of fiber. (The fiber free version of their farts was almost wholly made up of nitrogen for all ten subjects.) With the fiber version, the average fart only contained about 3.6% methane. The bulk of these individuals’ flatus was made up of hydrogen (51%) and nitrogen (30%).Why only some people produce methane in their flatus isn’t entirely clear, though at least in part has to do with what microbes call one’s intestines home. So far, only three microbes have been identified as methane producers (methanogens) in humans: Methaniobrevibacter smithii, Methanospaera stadmagnae and Methannobrevibacter oralis.Scientists have identified a few factors in predicting if a person is a methane producer, and one of the most important of these appears to be where you live (although it’s not clear if genetics plays a role as well in some way). For example, while 77% of Nigerians and 87% of South Africans produce methane, only 34% of Norwegians and 35% of those who live in and around Minneapolis do so. In addition, adult women are more likely to produce measurable amounts of methane in their farts, and young children are less so. Finally, if both your parents produce methane, then there is a greater likelihood that you will, too, with one study indicating as high as a 95% chance that the spawn of two methane producers will also produce methane in their farts.More than just inconvenient, recent studies have shown a correlation between methane production and several gastrointestinal diseases including diverticulosis, inflammatory bowel disease, irritable bowls syndrome, constipation and colon cancer. Although there’s no definitive answer why to date.

This article originally appeared on Today I Found Out. Follow @TodayIFoundOut on Twitter.

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MIGHTY TRENDING

How Marine snipers train to kill from helicopters

Marine scout snipers are often described more like a force of nature than a group of warfighters. The Corps has recently had just a few hundred of them at a time, but a massive mission rests on their shoulders. They’re true scouts, acting as the commander’s eyes and ears, but they’re also trained to take careful shots at foes. And they even train to hit targets from moving platforms like helicopters.


The big difference between scouts and scout snipers is right in the name. It’s also in the Corps’ definition of the job:

The scout sniper is a Marine highly skilled in fieldcraft and marksmanship who delivers long range, precision fire at selected targets from concealed positions.

But the Marine Corps is very specific that scout snipers are shooters, even going so far as to define the snipers’ primary mission as that “precision fire” and the secondary mission as “gathering information for intelligence purposes.”

So, they’re really highly observant snipers rather than scouts who have become more lethal. And being a top-tier sniper requires a certain amount of flexibility, especially in the Marine Corps where they pride themselves on their “Semper Gumby” mentality.

And so these Marines train on not just riding into battle on helicopters, but on shooting enemies from them with their precise fires. To practice, the Marines hop into Super Hueys and spit fire at targets floating in the ocean or staged on land. The shifting helicopters provide an increased level of challenge, but also allows the snipers to take out threats while inserting into the battlefield or while providing cover for infantrymen hitting the deck.

The two-man teams work together to watch over friendlies, engage enemy forces, and send targeting data and other intelligence back to the headquarters, whether they’re working from a helicopter, a ship, or a secluded ridge or rooftop on the battlefield.

A video from the aerial sniper training is available above.

MIGHTY CULTURE

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of January 18th

It seems like everyone is doing that dumb “ten year’s difference” thing on Facebook. Personally, I think this is just depressing for the military community no matter how you slice it.

Either you’re a young troop who’s now reminded of how goofy they looked as a civilian, you’re a senior enlisted/officer who’s now reminded of how much of a dumb boot they once were, or you’re a veteran who’s being reminded of how in shape you once were ten years ago.

If you’re an older vet who’s been out for longer than ten years, well, you’re probably the same salty person in the photo, and no one could tell the difference or that you aged. Maybe a bit more gray and less hair.

Anyways. The Coast Guard hasn’t been paid, but at least these memes are free!


Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Infantry Follow Me)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Comic by The Claw of Knowledge)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(meme via Do You Even Comm, Bro)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via The Salty Soldier)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via History in Memes)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Air Force Nation Humor)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Ranger Up)

MIGHTY CULTURE

I served on the USS Theodore Roosevelt. This is what it’s really like.

When most of us join the Navy, we don’t expect to be put into positions where our lives are in danger. For sure, we know it’s a possibility; as is joining any branch of the Armed Forces, but not as probable as our USMC and Army brothers-in-arms.

But now that a sailor has fallen to the virus, it’s apparent just how potent and diverse enemy combatants can be.


I served four years on the USS Theodore Roosevelt, from 2006 to 2010. The crew aboard CVN-71 refer to their ship as The Big Stick, personifying the ship as the US’s show of force to allow us to “Walk Softly” throughout the world. My job was to safely and efficiently maintain the electrical and steam plant systems within the two powerful Nuclear Reactor plants that power and propel the ship.

We steamed everywhere from South Africa to England to the middle of nowhere deep in the Atlantic ocean. We also spent six months sending F-18 Super Hornets to Afghanistan to provide Close Air Support for ISAF forces on the ground.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

PHILIPPINE SEA (March 18, 2020) An F/A-18F Super Hornet, assigned to the “Black Knights” of Strike Fighter Squadron (VFA) 154, lands on the flight deck of the aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN 71) March 18, 2020. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Nicholas V. Huynh)

Sailing a warship is inherently dangerous. There are cables with thousands of volts of heart-stopping power running through them, manifolds of high-pressure steam harnessing enough force to easily cut a person in half and thousands of people carrying-out dynamic operations both above and below-deck. Not to mention the mighty (and oftentimes unpredictable) sea, rocking and listing the ship with sometimes violent and turbulent waves.

In my four years on The Big Stick I lost three fellow shipmates to these various dangers. Now that the world is fighting a new, global enemy, unconventional deaths like losing a sailor to COVID-19 are becoming a new normal for families all across the world. And now, we see that active duty military members are just as susceptible as anyone else.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Photo courtesy of August Dannehl

Part of the allure of joining the Navy is being able to see the world. The main mission of the Navy is to bring US sovereign territory, in the form of floating cities like the Roosevelt, to any corner of the planet in just a matter of hours. This allows sailors to enjoy the perks of visiting ports in places like Cape Town, Tokyo and Da Nang. Unfortunately, now, that perk also led to the death of one of my fellow Rough Riders.

The virus likely infiltrated the ship during a port visit to Vietnam’s fifth largest city. Da Nang offered its sandy beaches and opulent hotels to provide some RR for the crew of the TR but before long, the crew was ordered back to the ship, underway early and restricted to “River City” communications (meaning no phone calls or internet access).

Back in 2008, steaming off the coast of Iran, River City was set pretty much all the time (and we hated it) but we knew it was necessary. Recently, this order meant something very serious was unfolding and the sailors aboard knew it.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Photo courtesy of August Dannehl

When that first River City was set just weeks ago, it was hard to imagine just how serious this situation would be. No one could have predicted then that over 500 Rough Riders would test positive for the coronavirus, a Navy Captain with 30 years of military experience would be fired, a Trump-appointed official would resign and one sailor would ultimately die in the line of duty from this silent, unpredictable enemy.

Living for months at a time on a carrier out to sea, confined to extremely small and cramped spaces, living and working alongside fellow Sailors in close proximity; these truths have always been the downsides of Navy service. Now, in the age of COVID-19, they have proven deadly.

MIGHTY CULTURE

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of June 21st

It’s official. U.S. troops in South Korea will have their curfew lifted. The United States Forces Korea put out the memo on June 16th, and it’s now in effect on a temporary basis to try this whole “treating troops like grown-ass adults” thing out. It’ll be up until around September 17th, when they will evaluate if the troops can handle not f*cking up the one good thing they’ve gotten in years.

Every U.S. troop in Korea has been briefed on this. One single f*ck up and it’s over for everyone. They’ll be on their best Sunday Morning behavior the entire time. This may have something to do with it not being a payday weekend and everyone’s NCO will be hounding them all weekend to not even consider doing dumb sh*t.


Who am I kidding? We know there’s still going to be that one asshole who screws it all up anyway and it’ll be gone before next weekend… Here are some memes for everyone not planning to be the biggest Blue Falcon in USFK.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Smokepit Fairytales)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Team Non-Rec)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Not CID)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via The Army’s Fckups)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Uniform Humor)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme by WATM)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Air Force Nation Humor)

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

(Meme via Pop Smoke)

MIGHTY CULTURE

US government warns against Chinese-acquired gay dating app Grindr

A Chinese company that acquired gay-dating app Grindr is reportedly selling it off after the US government labeled it a national security risk.

Chinese gaming company Beijing Kunlun Tech Co Ltd acquired a 60% stake in Grindr in 2016, before buying the rest in 2018.

But sources told Reuters that the company did not clear its purchase with the Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States (CFIUS), a US government agency which assesses the national security risk of foreign investments.


The sale prompted a review, after which CFIUS told Kunlun that its ownership of the California-based app constitutes a security risk, sources told Reuters.

The company is now looking to sell Grindr, according to the report, despite announcing preparations for an IPO in August 2018.

CFIUS last year blocked the acquisition of money transfer company MoneyGram International Inc by a Chinese financial group owned by billionaire Jack Ma, reportedly citing security concerns.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Jack Ma.

The US has increased scrutiny of app developers and the data they handle, which it argues could compromise the security of military or intelligence personnel.

Elliott Zaagman, a tech writer partly based in Beijing, said that apps like Grindr hold sensitive information about its users which could be exploited.

Grindr, which had 27 million users as of 2017, allows users to say whether they are HIV positive, and also allows users to send photos, which are often sexually explicit.

Zaagman says that, while China has an interest in hacking into such a database filled with personal information, they can probably breach the system “whether or not it’s owned by a Chinese company.”

“If a sophisticated state actor is determined to get into an app’s database, they will probably be able to find a way.”

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY CULTURE

Here’s what happens to the ‘nuclear football’ if Trump decides to skip Biden’s inauguration

An important yet discreet part of the inauguration of a new president is the transfer of command and control authority over the US nuclear arsenal, but there is the possibility President Donald Trump will not attend President-elect Joe Biden’s inauguration, which could complicate matters.

Trump has refused to say whether he will attend Biden’s inauguration, but multiple reports have suggested that the president will skip the swearing-in ceremony of his successor and hold a political rally elsewhere instead.

So what happens to the “nuclear football” that accompanies the president if Trump doesn’t show? How does it get to Biden?

“That’s a good question,” Hans Kristensen, a nuclear-weapons expert at the Federation of American Scientists, told Insider. “It is an unprecedented situation.”

The president has the sole authority to conduct a nuclear strike, and wherever he goes, he is accompanied by a military aide carrying a briefcase called the “president’s emergency satchel,” more commonly known as the nuclear football.

Every president since John F. Kennedy has been accompanied by the aide carrying the hefty briefcase, which gives the commander in chief the ability to command US nuclear forces while away from physical command and control centers.

The briefcase does not contain a button that can instantly unleash hundreds of nuclear warheads deployed on intercontinental ballistic missiles, submarine-launched ballistic missiles, and strategic bombers. Instead, the briefcase contains communication tools, codes, and options for nuclear war.

Separate from the football, presidents carry a card, sometimes called the “biscuit,” on their person containing authentication codes. In a nuclear conflict, the president would use the codes in coordination with the tools in the briefcase to identify himself to the military and order a nuclear strike.

Incoming presidents are typically briefed on their nuclear responsibilities before taking the oath of office. Then, during the inauguration, the codes they received that morning or the day before become active, and control of the football is quietly and seamlessly passed to the new president.

Trump described that moment as “sobering” and “very scary,” telling ABC News in 2017 that “when they explain what it represents and the kind of destruction that you’re talking about, it is a very sobering moment.”

The transfer of the nuclear football is supposed to occur at noon as the new president is sworn in. The military aide who has been carrying the briefcase hands it off to the newly designated military aide, former Vice President Dick Cheney said in a past Discovery documentary. This traditionally happens off to the side and is not a part of the show.

If Trump is not at the inauguration, then the transfer process will be different. Still, the transfer will need to be instantaneous, said retired Air Force Lt. Col. Buzz Patterson, who carried the football for former President Bill Clinton.

“That’s the way it has to be,” he told Insider. “For the process to work, you have to have this clear handing off of responsibilities.” He said that how that happens would be up to the Pentagon, which serves the office of the commander in chief, not the man.

A Pentagon spokesperson told Insider the Department of Defense had a plan for the transfer on Inauguration Day but declined to provide any further details.

“We war game this stuff, and we practice it ad nauseam for years and years,” Patterson said. “There are systems in place to make sure that happens instantaneously. There won’t be any kind of question about who has it, who is in charge at that point in time.”

“We don’t take this stuff lightly,” he added. “There won’t be any kind of hiccup. It’ll just go down without anybody even noticing, which is what is supposed to happen.”

Kristensen, the nuclear-weapons expert at the Federation of American Scientists, speculated that the plan could resemble plans in place for situations in which a president is suddenly killed or incapacitated, situations in which nuclear command and control authority and all accompanying equipment have to be immediately transferred to the vice president or another designated survivor.

Stephen Schwartz, a nonresident senior fellow with the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, recently discussed with the Center for Arms Control and Non-Proliferation what would happen to the nuclear football if Trump did not attend the inauguration.

Schwartz, known for his research on the nuclear football, said there was more than one football. In fact, he explained, there are at least three of them — for the president, vice president, and a designated survivor.

He said that if another nuclear football had not already been prepared, one likely would be before the inauguration. There would be a military aide ready then to begin following Biden as soon as he is sworn in. And, at that time, Trump’s nuclear command and control authority would expire.

“Hopefully President Trump will be there and it will be just a handoff, which is what it’s been for decades,” Patterson said, adding that if he didn’t, “it’s not that big of a deal” because the military will make sure that the transfer occurs as needed.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY CULTURE

5 ways military families can celebrate the Fourth of July

While the Fourth of July may look a little different this year, you can still celebrate the holiday in style with virtual concerts, televised fireworks, a museum tour or a virtual run. Look up, and you may even catch a military flyover.


USO holiday concert

The USO will host a first ever Fourth of July concert on its Facebook, YouTube and Twitch channels at 12 a.m. EST and 12 p.m. EST to accommodate times zones around the world. The concert, the first of a three-part summer series airing through Labor Day, will be headlined by country music legend Clint Black. The concert will include a special nod to American surf music by the iconic Mike Love and The Beach Boys and will feature special guests John Stamos, comedian Iliza Shlesinger, actor/musician Craig Robinson, and “America’s Got Talent” world champion Shin Lim.

A Capitol Fourth

The 40th annual broadcast of A Capitol Fourth will air on PBS Saturday, July 4 from 8 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. EST, as well as on American Forces Network for troops around the world. The program can be heard on NPR member stations nationwide, and it will be streaming on Facebook, YouTube and PBS. This year’s concert, co-hosted by John Stamos and Vanessa Williams, features pre-taped performances without a live audience.

Museum tour

The National Veterans Memorial and Museum in Columbus, Ohio will be open July 4 to share the stories of our nation’s veterans. In a press release, Lt. General Michael Ferriter, president and CEO of the museum, said that the facility is excited to welcome guests during the holiday weekend to share the stories of veterans from the Revolutionary War to today.

“This year is an opportunity to create a new tradition of celebration and remembrance,” Ferriter stated.

Museum goers will find the exhibit “So Ready for Laughter: The Legacy of Bob Hope,” which explores Hope’s major tours and travels during World War II. The exhibit features nearly 50 artifacts and an original documentary. Highlights include rare and unpublished photographs of Hope; wartime correspondence between Hope and servicemembers; WWII-era relics engraved to Hope; videos of his traveling, wartime troupe; and Hollywood Victory Caravan programs and scrapbooks. Details can be found here.

Ruck, walk or run for independence

Get out and move your feet with the USO’s “Four on the 4th – Ruck, Walk Run for Independence.” The virtual fun run, presented by Delta Air Lines, includes USO music playlists, a Facebook live rise and shine warm-up featuring Robert Killian, the National Anthem sung by the USO Show Troupe and a virtual celebration.

“With so many of us stir crazy during the pandemic, this is a great, all-inclusive, safe event for families to get out and celebrate the holiday,” said Bob Kurkjian, president USO West. “Families can, run, walk or even ruck the event.”

Registration is , with proceeds going to the USO. Participants will receive a USO branded t-shirt, downloadable bib, face mask and medal. Ahead of the event, tune into The Annual Bob Hope USO Radiothon event on Thursday, July 2, 2020 from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. PST, an event that brings together our nation’s troops, the funniest comedic talent, and Bob Hope USO’s dedicated community partners.

2020 Salute to America

This year, 1,700 service members will provide aerial, musical and ceremonial support to the 2020 Salute to America event, held in Washington, D.C. This year’s celebration will honor cities of the American Revolution and military aircraft will fly over Boston, New York City, Philadelphia and Baltimore. From there, they will join other DOD and heritage aircraft to fly over the nation’s capital. The exact timing has not yet been announced but more details can be found here.

This article originally appeared on Military Families Magazine. Follow @MilFamiliesMag on Twitter.

MIGHTY CULTURE

6 of the goofiest military myths and urban legends

We’ve heard them all a thousand times. Your roommate heard from a guy in another unit who swears up and down that when his cousin went through basic training, his roommate had been doing funny stuff with ether. Did his friend’s cousin really see the Etherbunny? It’s probably just one more military urban legend that just won’t die – along with these other myths that have been hanging around since Elvis was in the Army.


Be more skeptical, troops.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Fred Rogers, Slayer of Bodies. Supposedly.

Your favorite old TV star was in Vietnam.

What is it about Vietnam that makes us want our favorite TV personalities from yesteryear to not only have served there, but to also be the badass, stonefaced kind of killer that would make Colonel Kurtz proud? According to military myth, Fred Rogers, of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood fame was either a Navy SEAL in Vietnam or a Marine Scout Sniper. Jerry Mathers, who played the title role on Leave It To Beaver, allegedly fought and died there.

Neither of those things happened but someone, somewhere is splicing Forrest Gump Vietnam footage into the latest Tom Hanks film about Mr. Rogers.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Rich people aren’t allowed in the military.

“They” used to always say that a winning lottery ticket was also a one-way ticket to civilian life. And people who were millionaires weren’t allowed in the service at all. While it may seem likely that a high-net worth individual would be less likely to need his or her military career and be less prone to discipline, the opposite has often proven to be true — just look at Jimmy Stewart, Pat Tillman, and other wealthy individuals who preferred to serve. And while winning the lottery doesn’t mean you have to leave the military, winning millions will give the branches pause and you could leave if you want to. Every branch has provisions for separations when parting ways is in the military’s best interest – the way it happened to Seaman John Burdette in 2014.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

“Just making sure you reported for duty.”

Only sons are exempt from the draft.

Sorry, Private Ryan, but if World War III breaks out, there’s still a good chance you’re getting called up for the invasion of China. This is an old rumor that is based in some sort of fact. The truth is that sole surviving sons are exempt from the military draft. This is because of a couple of Private Ryan-like moments. The Sullivan Brothers, five real brothers, were killed when the USS Juneau was sunk by a Japanese torpedo in World War II. The story of Fritz Niland, whose three brothers were killed within days of each other, is the basis for Saving Private Ryan.

So if you’re the only child, I’d still register for Selective Service. If you have a few brothers, you should all hope to register.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

“But aim for their backpacks.”

The .50-cal is illegal – but here’s how to get around it.

The story goes that the Geneva Convention outlaws the use of a .50-caliber machine gun in combat, so American infantrymen are trained for “off-label uses.” The legend says that you just can’t use the weapon against people but equipment is still fair game, so the Corps/Army teaches grunts to say they were firing at belt buckles or vehicles or anything else that might be near. Another variation of this legend is that the .50-cal round can still kill people if it flies close to their bodies, so that’s the goal. Neither are true.

What weapons are actually banned by international agreements are chemical weapons, certain incendiary weapons, and cluster munitions, to name a few. The United States keeps stockpiles of all of these. Even if the M2 were illegal, do you think the U.S. would give it up, let alone train troops to use it wrong?

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

According to lore, one of these airmen is supposed to eat the bullet hidden in this flagpole.

The base flagpole is carrying some specific stuff.

According to lore, the ball at the top of the base flagpole – known as a “truck” – has very specific items in it, with very specific instructions. It is said the truck either contains a razor, a match, and a bullet or those three items plus a grain of rice and a penny. These are all to be used in case the base is overrun by the enemy.

So there are a few things wrong with this premise. The first is that a U.S. base built in the 1950s-1980s is going to be overrun. The second is that all that fits inside a truck. The third is that any American troops fighting for control of their base are going to stop, fight their way back to the flag, and go through these instructions:

After taking down the flag, troops first have to get the truck from the tops of the pole. Then, the razor will be used to strip the flag, the match will be used to give the flag a flag’s retirement, and the bullet is said to be used for either an accelerant for burning the flag or for the troop to use on him or her self. Bonus: the rice is for strength and the penny is supposed to blind the enemy. Does this sound stupid? Because it is. This sounds like gung-ho BS that someone with a fifth-grader’s imagination came up with.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Not for oral use. Seriously.

Medics used to kick your mouth shut if you were killed in combat.

Old-timey dogtags (like the ones from World War II, pictured above) had notches on them, which of course led troops to speculate about the purpose of the notch on the tags. Like most things that came to mind for those old troops, the situation got real dark, real fast. The legend says if a soldier was killed in combat, the medic was supposed to use that notch to align the tag using the teeth in the deceased’s mouth, then kick the dead man’s mouth shut with Charlie Brown-level effort so the tag would be embedded and the dead would be identified.

That idea would have led to a lot more head trauma on World War II KIA, wouldn’t it? One would have to imagine a better way to maintain identifiers than defiling a corpse. The notch’s real purpose was much more mundane. They were used to keep the dog tag aligned on the embossing machine used to imprint the tags.

MIGHTY CULTURE

How the 75th Ranger Regiment has fun

This past summer, the 75th Ranger Regiment found an innovative way to entertain and ensure the wellbeing of its single troops.

Throughout the summer months, the 75th Ranger Regiment’s Unit Ministry Team (UMT) organized and led 24-hour retreats for over 100 single Rangers. Some of the events that the troops participated in include hiking, rock climbing, kayaking, biking, and camping.


Army UMTs assist commanders with morale and provide religious and informal psychological support to troops.

“It was so encouraging to hear these guys go deep, and get real, and just talk about how they are really doing and the struggles they are currently dealing with or have dealt with in their past,” said Captain Bo Waldo, the 75th Ranger Regiment’s Deputy Regimental Chaplain, in a press release.
“It really is a privilege for me to care for these Rangers. The single Rangers are such a critical component of our force, and they are having to deal with this crazy season of isolation in some very challenging ways. This trip was well worth the effort to put it together.”
Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

A Ranger participating in a river kayaking event (U.S. Army)

The Coronavirus pandemic isn’t the only thing Rangers have to worry about on a daily basis. There is always the ever-present fear of messing up and getting released for standards (RFU), the 75th Ranger Regiment’s internal mechanism to cycle out Soldiers who aren’t suitable to serve in the unit. Consequently, even a brief break from the rigors of the job can be revitalizing and ensure sustainability.

“Just the chance to get away from the barracks and spend time with friends, to think about what I want my life and legacy to be, is a phenomenal opportunity,” said an anonymous Ranger from 3rd Battalion.

The 75th Ranger Regiment is the world’s premier light infantry special operations force. It’s one of the few units in the entire US military to have been continuously deployed since the start of the Global War on Terror (GWOT) after 9/11. Specializing in direct action missions and airfield seizures, the 75th Ranger Regiment is comprised of a headquarters, three infantry battalions (1st, 2nd, and 3rd), a Military Intelligence battalion, and Special Troops battalion.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Rangers preparing to launch their kayaks into the ocean (U.S. Army).

“I have never been on a trip like this before, but I really liked it. It was fun to jump in and find ways I could help,” said Specialist Adam Gathercole, from the Military Intelligence battalion.

But the retreats aren’t the only initiative that the unit is taking to ensure the well-being of its Rangers. Recently, the 75th Ranger Regiment launched PHALANX, an innovative program that aims to enhance the combat capabilities, careers, and education opportunities of Rangers. The logic behind the initiative is that well-educated, superb-trained, and physically and mentally healthy troops will be a more productive member of the team. Additionally, by investing in the education and wellbeing of its Rangers, the 75th Ranger Regiment aims to improve its retention levels, and indeed its investment as hundreds of thousands of dollars are spent in training just one Ranger.

This article originally appeared on Sandboxx. Follow Sandboxx on Facebook.


MIGHTY CULTURE

The history of the woobie and why they’re so beloved

The poncho liner — the lightweight blanket used and loved by many — is one of the most well-known items issued in the military. Despite having been around for decades, it’s still one of the most popular items to date. But what is this thing? Why’s it called a woobie? And why do grown men get so emotional about them? Seriously, steal or damage a man’s woobie and you might fear for your life. 

Woobies are kept in families for generations, passed down from veterans to their children, adult males sleep with them nightly – even when not in the field – and there are countless stories about tearful reunions when a woobie is replaced. 

There’s just something about this piece that hits home and makes a connection with the soldiers who sleep underneath them. 

Take this journey down memory lane and gain some insight on why the woobie is such a big deal, and how its tenure came to be.

What’s a woobie, anyway?

A woobie is a pet name for the liner, wet weather, poncho, a lightweight, yet surprisingly warm blanket that comes standard issue to soldiers with their outdoor gear and sleep system. A poncho liner, as it’s more commonly called, is made to provide warmth and comfort in mild to moderate temperatures, as well as a cozy place to get some rest. 

But somewhere along the way, it added a personal touch to its existence. Soldiers, especially infantry men and women, became attached. A person’s woobie became an extension of themselves, and it made missions more comforting. Because not only did the liner add to a person’s physical warmth, it met them at their emotional needs.

The history of the poncho liner

The poncho liner was first introduced in the 1960s during the Vietnam war. It’s made of two layers of nylon, meant to remain light enough for soldiers while they were fighting and sleeping in the Vietnam jungle climate. It also dries quickly, adapting to a moist environment.

The liner is sewn to withstand the elements, with a hard seam stitch, and a distinctive pattern throughout the bulk of the fabric to keep pieces in place, despite rough conditions. 

What’s most interesting about the poncho liner is its engineering that somehow keeps in heat while keeping the cold at bay. Even when wet, the liner can keep a solider warm, all while drying quicker than their wool blanket. This is even more impressive considering they were first made from excess parachute material, in duck hunter camo, that was leftover from WWII. 

Originally, that’s why liners were released in a dated camo pattern. But even once the excess material was used, the use of tri-color camo continued. 

Various patterns of poncho liners have been issued throughout the years, including different styles from each military branch. 

Finally rounding out poncho liner specs: each model sits at 62 by 82 inches, and has tie cords so they can be attached to rain ponchos. Useful and ready on the go.

Why call it a “woobie”?

It wasn’t always called a woobie. For years, soldiers referred to the poncho liner by its official name. Then somewhere along the way, it gained a nickname; the most common explanation is that “woobie” comes from the 1983 film, Mr. Mom, in which a child refers to their blanket as “woobie.” Others say it’s a portmanteau of “would be,” as in, “You would be cold without it.” No one knows for sure which theory is correct, though history shows the nickname taking hold somewhere in the early 1990s.

woobie hoodie
People love the woobie so much, someone made a hoodie that looks like one.

Considering the resounding reviews it gets from soldiers, it’s no wonder the pet name stuck. Even for grown men, the comfort of a security blanket does wonders for morale. 

Here are a few of the woobie’s rave reviews: 

“I HAD MANY HAPPY MOMENTS IN THE FIELD WITH THIS BLANKET, LIKE LINUS ON PEANUTS.”

“If you were limited to just a few pieces of survival gear, this should be at the top of your list. Versatile, rugged, weighs next to nothing, hides you, keeps you warm as toast with your own body heat.”

“These are amazing. If you have not ever had the pleasure of wrapping up in a true, govt-issued poncho liner when it is cold, you are missing out. It is like they are magic. They warm you up in seconds with your own body heat just like an electric blanket would.”

“I’ve been out of the military since 2001 and I’ve slept with my woobie almost every night since basic [training]. When mine wore out I thought I might have to re-enlist to get another one in good shape. Luckily, I was able to purchase another one in near perfect condition for less than two years of Army pay.” 

These are just a few of the item’s shining reviews. Task and Purpose even published an article naming it, “The greatest military invention ever fielded.” 

And don’t worry, if you ETSd or lost yours, you can find them on Amazon. They have cheaper versions too, like the one below. How warm it’ll keep you is debatable, but the reviews aren’t terrible.

woobie
A cheaper version of the woobie, available here for about 20 bucks.

However, consensus agrees, most prefer to take the loss and pay for their woobie outright, rather than turn it in with their issued goods. 

After all, can you really put a price on personal security? Either way, we can all agree that the woobie is one of the most loved military items of all time.

Do you have a beloved woobie? Tell us about yours below.

MIGHTY CULTURE

20 funny Army memes to distract you from real life

Joining the Armed Forces is nothing to poke fun at. It’s one of the most honorable undertakings on the planet. That said, we all need to laugh at ourselves now and again. If you’re in the Army, these memes are all too relatable, so what are you waiting for? Come on down and laugh a little! If you’re a Marine, don’t get too cocky. No branch is safe from Internet memes.

  1. They weren’t wrong.
army meme

Sometimes you’re the Armed Forces. Other times, you’re just the arm.

2. Oh. So that’s how tanks are made.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

They don’t teach you everything in high school bio, kids.

3. Possibly the least peaceful type of angel

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

But it’s still very nice. Could someone please tell him the holidays are over, though?

4. Do it once, and you’ll never do it again.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Better yet, kick the habit before you enlist, or your drill sergeant might kick it for you. Technically, it only takes a second to remove your hands from your pockets. In combat, however, every second counts. For that reason, hands in pockets are against regulation. It also ruins the clean lines of the uniform.

5. You can do it, right?

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Like, it’s not even that hard.

6. Too much?

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Commander: We need to distract the enemy.
Private: Hold my beer.

7. Puddle, lake. Same thing.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Forget the map. Someone get him some glasses.

8. Um, excuse me? I think you have a stowaway.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

A really, really cute stowaway. On second thought, keep him. Ya know, for backup.

9. Permission granted.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Isn’t he majestic? The Navy needs to step up their game with a Titanic remake.

10. I mean, finals ARE stressful.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Not quite as stressful as, oh, I don’t know, dodging bullets. Stress isn’t really a contest, but if it were, soldiers would win.

11. They skipped a few details.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

When you said you wanted to go above and beyond the call of duty, someone must have heard “doody” instead.

12. Someone unlocked a new army prank level.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Here, take these trash bags and collect samples of every vehicle on base. We need to test their carbon monoxide output for maximum efficiency.

13. Whoever told him to trust his intuition, please tell him to stop.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

The photographer perfectly captured the moment that Kevin realized he had utterly effed up.

14. Poor Marines…

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

It’s just not the same, is it?

15. This is the part no one warned you about.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

They told you about the most dangerous parts of enlisting, but neglected to mention that duffle bags might be your most stubborn opponent.

16. Not sure what’s happening here, but it looks fun.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

What happens when you combine an ice rink, a plastic wagon, and two guys in the army? This, I guess.

17. You mean it? I didn’t realize we were getting so serious.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Might as well propose, honestly.

18. It’s worth checking, at least.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Check again just to make sure. Maybe it changed to 0500 when you weren’t looking.

19. It had to work somewhere.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Ask Grandma if she can mail her couch to the Middle East. Modern problems require modern solutions.

20. Don’t do it.

Chief of Army Reserve seeks to create rewarding experience for soldiers

Be careful. This level of enthusiasm is dangerous.

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