It’s Noadamus again, and I’m here welcome to the magical land of right now. Where the past is done and what it means is open to interpretation, the future is so far away you may never live to see it. Right now is the only moment you are guaranteed. Lightning could strike you down a second from now, a car could wander into your lane an hour from now, but right now, you are alive.
So, you should totally check out your horoscope, because if you are gonna die, you might as well open your mind hole to some wisdom from the stars first. Besides, you’ll probably be fine — this week.
See you soon, and remember, do flutter kicks.
Sincerely, Noadamus.
Pisces
If you find yourself complaining about free food and booze, stop. It’s free. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it. This is a good general rule. Most of the great things we are all blessed with in this life are not of our own making. You’re tall? You can’t take credit for it. You’re naturally creative? It’s a gift. When you take those gifts and develop them and feed them in healthy ways, you should feel both proud and grateful. When your life is perfect, little problems keep you from getting bored and complacent. This week will reminded you to pay attention and review your weaknesses and spend some real time addressing them. It could quite literally save your life this week. So do that PMCS and don’t finger drill it, corporal.
Aries
You have so many secrets that they are beginning to escape into other areas of your life. Wouldn’t it be easier to say f*ck it and just be yourself? You claim to be authentic and you are, for the most part, but don’t try so hard. Who cares if your friends don’t like your relationship choices? They don’t even like their own relationship choices. And if you find yourself doing the walk of shame back to the barracks right before morning PT, everybody will know about it before formation anyway. No point in hiding, so hit the shower and get out there, Marine.
Taurus
This week starts at a steady pace jumps to a sprint by the weekend. You are relentless. Grind everyone to dust with your continuous pace. Keep yourself centered and use this inertia to propel yourself into the future. While everyone around you is spinning, troubles roll right off your back this week. Keep moving this week and your efforts will be soon rewarded. If additional fitness or combatives training presents itself, jump on it. You’ll thank me for it later.
Gemini
A whole lotta excitement is coming your way in the relationship department, but not all of it is good. As the week starts, your social circle is displeased with your relationship choices, but by the end of the weekend, they will have accepted the idea and everyone will probably party their faces off, which means at least everyone’s doing something together. You have many things happening in the background, and by next week they will demand almost all of your attention.
Cancer
You might find yourself wondering how your job can be so incredibly rewarding and terribly soul-crushing at the same time. This is the duality of life, which the Cancer sign represents, btw. Things change — constantly — but before you decide to change things on your terms, take a knee, face out, and drink water. Do what needs to be done this week, the rest might resolve itself. Besides, worrying about it only affects the way you feel.
Leo
This week is a gift; technically, every moment is a gift, but this week is also a time of advancement. Let me rephrase —this is the time where you do the work that will pay off with incredible success later. Spending all week at the range? That will come to fruition soon. Embarking on a new fitness program? A more functional and aesthetically pleasing form awaits you in the near future. Your home and family life is far from perfect, but it is improving. Be grateful for what you have right now while working for a better future. You’re welcome, Chief. Consider yourself counseled.
Virgo
While you might not be the most adventurous person out there normally, this week ramps your risk-taking impulses up 11. Admittedly, you are extremely well suited to be victorious at the current moment, but no one wins at everything. So if the reward is not worth the risk, it’s a waste of valuable and limited time. Go kick some ass and have fun doing it; you deserve it.
Libra
The politics of power rule your home and family life, which is especially true at the moment. However, in addition to being oppressive and restricting, your familial connections are likely to aid in your investment or earning capacity. The secret to gaining this advantage without being consumed by family melodrama: Assert yourself as a powerful and influential member of the family who wishes to improve and grow the family with said advantage, then go do it.
Scorpio
You want the good news or the bad news first? The good news — finances are improving. The bad news — you are still spending way more money than you are bringing in. Money is meant to be spent, right? Totally, but wasting is different than spending. Your relationship is consuming other areas of your life, which is not a bad thing. Just remember you can’t go along with it now and complain about how your life is no longer your own later.
Sagittarius
One of your least favorite things is demanding way too much of your time this week. Yes, it is making you money and providing you with a sense of identity and purpose, but it is also getting in the way of doing whatever you want. Work can be tedious and a job does restrict your freedom, to some degree. But it increases your ability to so many other things you want in your life. So, put on those combat boots and get your ass to formation. Besides, civilians don’t get paid to blow sh*t up. Unless they are in demolitions, or mining, or maybe some other stuff, too…. Just shut up and move out.
Capricorn
Holy intensity, Bat Person! (no trademark infringements here) You are so smoldering right now; just be careful to maintain control over yourself so you don’t explode. Your creativity is ramped up to high this week. I’m not just talking about your much-neglected hobbies. We are talking all creativity. From innovative ideas at work to new moves on the field to your secret poetry (I won’t tell anybody) to creating babies. In this extremely fertile period in your life, remember: Always practice safe poetry.
Aquarius
Listen up, private. The federal income tax system is not a conspiracy to steal the hard earned wealth of the average citizen. Okay, maybe it is a little, but it is also supposed to go to improving and maintaining public services and areas facilities of public use. So, even though you ‘don’t believe in taxes,’ you can still be audited (and just might be this year). So, you should probably review all of those ‘expenses’ you claimed this year.
