7 rejected X-rated military Valentine's Day articles - We Are The Mighty
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7 rejected X-rated military Valentine’s Day articles

There’s a running bit in the We Are The Mighty office that if all else fails we could always make porn.

I like to bring it up during dry brainstorming sessions. I was feeling particularly amused by inappropriate humor last week during a meeting and, much to my utter delight, Army vet and WATM writer extraordinaire Logan Nye was too. He started listing off military-related Valentine’s Day articles that we should would never (because we’re classy like that I guess…) publish, and I told him that it was just too selfish to keep his creative genius from the world.

It derailed the meeting, but it was worth it.

So, my patriotic friends, I give you our list of rejected Valentine’s Day articles. Share with your right hand special someone and enjoy.


7 rejected X-rated military Valentine’s Day articles

Pro-tip: Leave the battle rattle on.

7 rejected X-rated military Valentine’s Day articles

We’re two inches from where you think we are.

How to show a lost LT his way to your G-spot

Also read: 7 things Jodie will do with your girlfriend this Valentine’s Day

7 rejected X-rated military Valentine’s Day articles

Please worry about it.

7 rejected X-rated military Valentine’s Day articles

This popped up when I googled “DARPA robot” and I am howling.

7 rejected X-rated military Valentine’s Day articles

“Precision insertion requires a dedicated boom operator in order to extend loiter time on station.”

7 rejected X-rated military Valentine’s Day articles

More like Chesty Pull-her, amiright?

9 most bone-able military leaders from history

More reading: 5 tips that will make her grateful to be your Valentine

7 rejected X-rated military Valentine’s Day articles

Real footage from Okinawa.

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