The chances of you falling on your face are very good. But why?
More and more TikTok trends seem like they’re designed to embarrass men. The so-called chair challenge is a prime example of men failing hilariously where women succeed (Go ahead, try it.). In the latest TikTok trend, dubbed the “center of gravity challenge,” women dominate the battle of the sexes. Men, on the other hand, end up face-planting.
The results are the stuff made for TikTok: Women crush the challenge without breaking a sweat. When men try the same, they can’t hold their bodies up. Their torsos collapse and they faceplant into the ground. Everyone has a laugh and a challenge goes viral.
Editor’s Note: We know you’re going to try this challenge, especially the men in the audience. If you’re trying, you should probably make your attempt over a nice, cushy pillow. If you feel the need to do it over concrete on video without practicing — well, that’s the internet fame that you choose.
But why exactly is this another challenge where women reign and men fall (hard). The reason women don’t have trouble with the challenge is, according to the most prominent theory, that they have a lower center of gravity. On average, a woman’s center of gravity is 8- to 15-percent lower than a man’s, according to an article in the academic journal Theoretical Biology and Medical Modelling. It’s speculated that women’s lower center of gravity evolved not for the purpose of making fools out of men on the Internet, but to help them stay stable while walking during pregnancy.
It’s logical reasoning, but also reason that some sexes defy the odds. Not everyone is built the same. Some men may have a lower center of gravity than others. Some women won’t be able to win the center of gravity challenge, and some men will victoriously hover without faceplanting.
Not many though. There’s only one way to find out.
What started out as a joke between friends sent me down one of the most hilarious rabbit holes I have traveled through to date.
It was late one evening, while on a video call with two of my closest friends, when we began discussing the difficulties of deployment. During this conversation, we started looking up terms on The Urban Dictionary that accurately described deployment or long times of separation.
I laughed so hard that my eyes watered profusely and, at one point, I believe I stopped breathing. My nasals were flaring and no sound could escape from my mouth, followed sharply by belly laughs that sounded terribly similar to squawking. We had entered into the type of hallowed cackling that would alarm most people who were of sound mind. Not people like us, who were steeped in sleepless nights and unending laundry piles.
Being that I am in the throes of a year long separation from my husband, who was tasked with a 365-short tour (mere months after returning from another deployment), I have found that humor often lightens the load of stress and anguish. This particular conversation was so undeniably funny that it deserves to be shared.
Here’s to you, you solid few, who are in desperate need of a chuckle as you navigate the landmines of daily living apart from a spouse.
What is it like to go through a deployment? Here is an answer in terms defined by The Urban Dictionary.
The first few weeks could be described as being filled with “Tweaker Peekin’.” If this doesn’t describe the keen sense of paranoia during the first few weeks of sleeping alone, I don’t know what does.
According to Urban Dictionary, Tweaker Peekin’ is “the act of peeking out of blinds or curtains in a rapid and deliberately inconspicuous fashion, consistent with the effects of methamphetamine, under duress of extreme paranoia that one is being surveilled. In extreme cases this phenomenon can last days on end, and typically worsens with increasing sleep deprivation.”
After overcoming the intense need to surveil one’s front and back yard subsides, phase two of the deployment timeline commences with several “snaccidents.” I currently keep an entire stash of Twix Ice Cream candy bars inside a frozen broccoli bag for such an encounter.
A “snaccident” is “when food (a snack) is consumed in an accidental, often regrettable way. This can refer to accidentally eating food of questionable quality and/or quantity.”
Once all of the ice cream in my house has been consumed, its time for the tail end of phase two to take place – insomnia. For whatever reason, sleep deprivation takes over in the first few months and stays around until my subconscious can accept that I’m in it for the long haul and can no longer tolerate long-term sleeplessness. In the meantime, my state of mind could accurately be described as completely “sleep thirsty.”
Phase three of the deployment experience is full of being “fakeawake.” By the third month of deployment, I am so physically tired that it brings me into a state of being “fakeawake,” when “you’re soooooo tired, having lack of sleep and you have to act awake, motivated, or energized.” I, personally, have spent months in the “fakeawake” stage, feigning coherency and capacity.
It isn’t until the middle to the end of the deployment cycle where I feel like I am able to get my proverbial poop in a group. My schedule levels out, my sleeping patterns improve, and I get my kids back on track. It is the “high octane” phase. According to Urban Dictionary, being high octane means to be forceful, powerful, or energetic.
After running hard, and reaching the finish line, I am totally “jacked.” Homecoming presents immense feelings of excitement and giddiness. Even now, I am extremely excited about the upcoming return of my spouse.
Last, but not least… the most accurate Urban Dictionary term for reintegration is “stressure,” or the immense amount of stress produced from high pressure. That’s right. Reintegration is a perfect mixture of high pressure to mold two lives back into one and stress from blowing a completely perfected routine into smithereens.
By the time one makes it all the way through the cycle, it is time for a brief rest and to do it all again. So, suit up folks and keep on keeping on. Make sure to laugh and stay on the bright side as you cycle through! We’re all in this together.
There is a time and place in your career where being recognized as smart is advantageous. Yet there are troops out there who straight up refuse to do any administrative work. Whether it is because you’re comfortable with your current job or you’re getting out soon and do not want additional responsibility, we do not judge. If you’re a brand-new troop do not fly too high, Icarus, the brass are always on the prowl for talent.
1. Avoid filling out paperwork too quickly
To be organized is a military trait that is instilled in us since basic training. However, organized room inspections are different than keeping the platoon organized. Do it too well and you’ll be drafted to desk. If you hate paperwork, then take your time doing it. Still, get it done when it counts but when the colonel needs a new gatekeeper, show that you’re I R Grunt. It’s that or else you’ll have to get used to talking to people way above your pay grade on a daily basis.
2. Never volunteer to intellectually challenging tasks
Whenever there is a technical problem let one of the boots (new troops) handle it. Once you fix a few too many computer problems, you become the go-to person every time the most mundane problem happens.
3. Never be seen teaching a class
Training the next generation is continuous. If you want to avoid being the guide to present the annual training courses to thousands of people, do not get caught teaching. Of course, train your troops but don’t let people see you do it. You want to appear to be a sh*t bag, not actually be one.
4. You’ve never heard of powerpoint
Do not believe for a second that a colonel or above makes his or her own powerpoint presentations. If you let people know that you know a thing or two about Microsoft Office, you’re going to have a bad time. It’s not enough that you have to make the weekly command and staff meetings as an enlisted NCO, but they will also hover over you the whole time. ‘Why don’t you do it?’ is unfortunately not a desirable option to say.
5. Don’t ask too many questions
The easiest way to get picked to answer a question nobody asked is if you asked it before. If you’re constantly asking questions and getting answers then you’re going to know more than most. If it is something important then, ask away. Throw in some dumba** questions in there too — for flavor.
Do not be surprised when you always get picked to explain something in layman’s terms. Suddenly you’re the training NCO at S-3 operations because you know everything about training.
6. When all else fails, eat some crayons
If you seriously are that opposed to working in an office setting or gaining more responsibility; then you can always resort to saying ‘I don’t know’. I can’t tell you how many times the situation presented itself when someone simply stated ‘I’m dumb as sh*t, staff sergeant,’ and it worked! It works best for techy kind of working parties. We knew, he knew, and the NCOIC (Non commissioned officer in charge) damn well knew it too but he moved on and picked someone else. Hearing the words is enough to convince people you actually chew crayons.
For a test you know all the answers to that never changes, the Physical Fitness Test is always a mixed bag of results. Let’s admit it, the only people who worry about the PFT are those that only work out so they can pass the PFT.
The boys at Terminal Boots made this hilarious video about the typical Marine PFT and nailed the experience for all the troops in all service branches. Sure, requirements vary from service branch to service branch but the human element is practically the same.
Case in point comes from Deacon who’s puking his guts out at the beginning of the video. Like Deacon, there’s always that person who’s hungover or drunk from the night before because they had extra time off — probably because leadership let them off early so they can be rested prior to the PFT.
Super Bowl LIII was the stuff of… well, not legends, exactly — even though the Patriots did become only the second team in NFL history to win six Super Bowls. Whether you were rooting for Brady to cement his GOAT status or hoping the Rams could headbutt him into history, fans from both sides were a little disappointed by the early action in the game.
Here are some of the best memes to come out of the wait, the 4th-quarter fireworks, and the Super Bowl ads:
On the ad side, Bud Light had a few great ones, Stella Artois had an awesome one with Jeff Bridges as The Dude, Harrison Ford and his dog taught everyone about failed Alexa prototypes, and Microsoft showed off their adaptive controllers.
Kia’s ad debuted their swimming SUV, for some reason.
To be clear, no, Kia isn’t releasing a swimming SUV. But their ad about the Kia Telluride showed the small town in Georgia that makes the car and then showed someone driving the car into a river like they didn’t want it anymore (and, yes, it more likely be the Coast Guard than Navy).
Far from just marching around and being yelled at by sadistic drill sergeants, basic training can be the source of hilarious stories.
Case in point comes from an awesome AskReddit thread. The thread, which originated with Reddit user mctugmutton, asked the military community for “the funniest thing they witnessed while in boot camp.” The answers run from LOL to LMFAO and glimpse at basic training differences between service branches.
Reddit user sneego: The time half my squad decided to clean their training gear naked.
Our last week of basic training, we basically spent days cleaning all of our TA-50 (pretty much all your issued gear- rucksacks, ponchos, etc).
The drill sergeants decided it would be more efficient for us to pile up some of the major items as a platoon and organize cleaning teams. Well, the cleaning team in charge of doing ponchos decided to use the showers to make things go faster and to free up the faucets in the laundry room for others to use. So they begin cleaning and then decide to go one step further: Why be careful about getting wet when you can just get naked and get things done even quicker?
Next thing you know, half of first squad is butt naked chatting like nothing unusual is going on when our drill sergeant walks in. The DS just looks in, makes a David Silvermanesque WTF look, says in his thick Puerto Rican accent, “Jesus LORD privates, what the F–K!” and walks out.
Reddit user allhailzorp: The time my friend got an imaginary bathroom siren.
Not me, but my best friend who recently went through USMC boot camp.
It’s about Week 2. All the recruits are still scared s–tless. Literally, some of their a–holes are clenched so tight they haven’t gone number two since they got there. And by this point, with Marine chow being what it is, there’s quite a backlog building up. My buddy desperately needs to go. He wanted to wait until his individual time that night, but it was too late, he was touching cloth.
So, braving his fear of the DIs, he speaks out. “Sir, this recruit requests a head call, SIR”. Then, he blurts out, “Sir, it’s an emergency, Sir!”
The DI, with his infinite sense of humor:
“Oh really? An emergency huh? Well, you better put on your SIREN.”
My buddy has to wave his hands above his head, and scream “Bee-Boo Bee-Boo” as he ran to the restroom. This continued for the entirety of boot camp, every time he needed the bathroom.
One Reddit user witnessed E.T. phone home during Air Force basic training.
We had a really pasty kid with huge coke bottle glasses with a really high pitched almost robotic voice in our flight that seemed to be a lightning rod for TI abuse.
One morning our TI told the kid that he was on to him and he wasn’t going to allow him to complete his mission. Suffice to say the kid was extremely confused and asked the TI what he was talking about to which he replied “You’re an alien and I know you’re here to gather intelligence about our military.”
At this point, I couldn’t hold in my laughter any longer and went to the other side of the barracks as quick as possible before I got dragged into it. Well, I just got to the other side when the kid comes barreling around the corner and stops right in front of his locker and starts screaming into it that the TI was on to him and that the mission was unsuccessful.
I guess the TI told him that he had to report to the mothership through the communicator in his locker that the mission was unsuccessful and he’d been found out.
My Basic Training Battery had twin brothers in it, Chang L , and Chang K . Chang L was in fourth platoon and his brother was in third. One evening, there were combatives happening in the fourth platoon barracks. Chang K had sneaked into our bay to be a part of this unsanctioned event, specifically so that he could wrestle his brother. Everyone was wearing PT uniforms, except for some reason our Chang, who was wearing nothing but his issued brown briefs, and had removed his glasses for the fight. Suddenly, a wild Drill Sergeant appeared! Chang L, in his underwear, was grabbed by someone and stuffed into their wall locker.
His twin brother, Chang K, ran up to the front of the bay to take his brothers place for mail call. It was a disaster waiting to happen. After mail was handed out, the Drill Sergeant decided to hang around for a bit and have a serious heart to heart talk with us about something that had happened recently (an attempted suicide). The Drill Sergeant had gathered us close and was quietly talking about loyalty and brotherhood when all of the sudden, he was interrupted by the metallic squeal of a wall locker opening.
There was a hushed silence as the skinny little Chinese man, blind without his glasses, peeked out around the door and stepped out, in plain view of the Drill Sergeant. Apparently, we had been so quiet, that he thought we had all left.
DS: “WHY IN THE F–K IS THERE A NAKED CHINESE BOY IN YOUR WALL LOCKER?!” Pvt 1:”Drill Sergeant, I put him there, Drill Sergeant!” DS: What the f–k? Pvt 2: “We were wrasslin’, Drill Sergeant.” It was silent for a few seconds as the DS’s face contorted as though he were about to have an epileptic seizure. His eyes were cartoonishly huge.
The DS pointed at the practically nude Chang L and screamed at him to get his f–king ass over to the third platoon barracks. Chang L started to interject, presumably to inform the DS that he had confused him for his brother, but was unable to finish because at this point the DS was knocking things over and screaming his lungs out. Chang ran away, blind and naked, stumbling into furniture as he fled, leaving his terrified twin brother in his place. I don’t believe that we actually got our Chang back until PT the next morning, when they were able to switch back.
Get Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said via Amazon or Barnes and Noble locations nationwide.
Tang, the orange-flavored drink mix that intrepid American astronauts took into space, wasn’t selling so well until it famously went into orbit. And there’s at least one astronaut who wishes it never left the ground.
Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin, the second person to step foot on the moon, told the audience of the 2013 Spike TV Guys Choice awards that “Tang sucks.”
For those unfamiliar with Tang, it’s the orange-flavored breakfast drink that has somehow managed to stick around grocery store shelves for the past 60-plus years, as if there wasn’t already an orange beverage closely associated with mornings. Except the only thing Tang has in common with oranges is its color.
Aldrin, the famous West Point graduate and Air Force astronaut, was not only the second man on the moon, he was a combat pilot in the Korean War. After notching two MiG kills in 66 combat missions, he earned a doctorate from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and joined NASA. So if Buzz Aldrin says Tang sucks, he’s probably right.
Much of the Twitterverse agreed with him. An informal poll conducted by NPR following his controversial statement found that more than 57.1% of respondents agreed. Another 29.43% disagreed and 13.47% didn’t know what Tang is — and their lives are better off for it.
If you disagree with Aldrin, that’s fine. Just keep in mind that old-school astronauts don’t take guff from laymen. The one time someone tried getting into his face about how the moon landing was faked ended with Aldrin punching that person in the face.
Because NASA took this orange-like beverage on space flights, sales of the drink took off, too. It was so closely linked with the United States’ space program that people came to believe NASA developed the powdered beverage especially for astronauts. That built-in marketing gave it the lift it needed to stay on shelves ever since.
For this American hero’s sake, let’s be clear about Tang. If orange-scented furniture polish tasted exactly how it smelled, it would taste like Tang. The closest Tang powder ever gets to an orange is the picture of an orange on the label. Although it provides 100% of the recommended daily allowance of Vitamin C, that’s about all the benefit you’ll get from it.
Tang also contains two artificial yellow dyes, Yellow 5 and Yellow 6, which studies by the Center for Science in the Public Interest say can cause allergic reactions, contain possible carcinogens and may cause hyperactivity in children. It also contains BHA, which the label says is used to “protect flavor,” as if that was something we wanted. Meanwhile, the National Institutes of Health says BHA “reasonably anticipated to be a human carcinogen.“
Two good reasons to ditch BHA altogether.
For real food, NASA created dehydrated edibles for the astronauts to consume while in space, including scrambled eggs, curried chicken and raisin rice pudding, all packed in sealed plastic bags.
Military life is tough. Insanely long hours, inconvenient shifts and tons of training, all to be deployed and wait for your time to come. Nevertheless, service members form some of the greatest bonds imaginable, along with legendary memories- and some are immortalized on video! Here are 20 of the best military videos on TikTok.
1. Wakeup call
He doesn’t know the meaning of subtlety, but it’s funnier that way.
2. Barracks shenanigans
3. Fun with the boys
It feels good to be top dog.
4. Uniforms just hit different
I wouldn’t mind a peacoat like that…
5. Put some locks on those windows
At least you can say he’s a risk taker
6. Taser tests always get em’
Pain tolerance he has not.
7. My momma and my chicken nuggets
Trust me, it’s very different from chicken tenders
8. Their reasons unite them. Sort of.
The salary is pretty good, though…
9. Maybe give that military GPS a compass of its own
It seriously can’t find its way around some light patches of forest?
10. Sometimes you have to take the edge off
Dancing takes the nerves away
11. Stay focused
Keep your back to the wall, just saying…
12. It’s either a sniper or hallucinations, I swear
That echo sounded familiar…
13. Getting the gang back together
Brothers from another mother…
14. He shouldn’t have taken that bazooka into his cabin.
Now how are they going to repair it?….oh right, they won’t
15. Let’s be real. There are tons of Kyle’s.
It could be worse. It could be a Chad. (No offense if your name is really Chad. We’re sure you’re one of the good ones!)
16. It sounds like ten people at once, 24/7
If you expect clear communication, hahahahaha…Sorry, I was laughing to hard to finish that sentence.
17. Patriotic as can be
Now this is what I call making the most of your job
18. Multi-thousand dollar aircraft…and no visor
Everyone knows sticky notes are the best military grade sunglasses
19. You can’t always get what you want
But maybe Texas is what you need?
20. A trick as old as time
Don’t you feel a little bit bad for him? Just a little?
The divide between the military’s enlisted and officer ranks has long been a source of humor for American service members, especially when it comes to the “luxuries” that officers get.
A Royal Marine recently took the banter a step further by creating a hilarious video that shows just how easy he thinks his officers have it when it comes to their meals, which — according to him — involves a candlelit dinner complete with silverware, baguette and newspaper. Very British indeed.
Check out the video below to see this Marine’s hilariously British take on officer eats: