You can’t walk the walk unless you can talk the talk. How well do you know your military slang?
The Marines have a proud history of heroism and leadership within the ranks. Take this quiz and find out which legend you are most like:
The chances of you falling on your face are very good. But why?
More and more TikTok trends seem like they’re designed to embarrass men. The so-called chair challenge is a prime example of men failing hilariously where women succeed (Go ahead, try it.). In the latest TikTok trend, dubbed the “center of gravity challenge,” women dominate the battle of the sexes. Men, on the other hand, end up face-planting.
The results are the stuff made for TikTok: Women crush the challenge without breaking a sweat. When men try the same, they can’t hold their bodies up. Their torsos collapse and they faceplant into the ground. Everyone has a laugh and a challenge goes viral.
Editor’s Note: We know you’re going to try this challenge, especially the men in the audience. If you’re trying, you should probably make your attempt over a nice, cushy pillow. If you feel the need to do it over concrete on video without practicing — well, that’s the internet fame that you choose.
But why exactly is this another challenge where women reign and men fall (hard). The reason women don’t have trouble with the challenge is, according to the most prominent theory, that they have a lower center of gravity. On average, a woman’s center of gravity is 8- to 15-percent lower than a man’s, according to an article in the academic journal Theoretical Biology and Medical Modelling. It’s speculated that women’s lower center of gravity evolved not for the purpose of making fools out of men on the Internet, but to help them stay stable while walking during pregnancy.
It’s logical reasoning, but also reason that some sexes defy the odds. Not everyone is built the same. Some men may have a lower center of gravity than others. Some women won’t be able to win the center of gravity challenge, and some men will victoriously hover without faceplanting.
Not many though. There’s only one way to find out.
There is a time and place in your career where being recognized as smart is advantageous. Yet there are troops out there who straight up refuse to do any administrative work. Whether it is because you’re comfortable with your current job or you’re getting out soon and do not want additional responsibility, we do not judge. If you’re a brand-new troop do not fly too high, Icarus, the brass are always on the prowl for talent.
1. Avoid filling out paperwork too quickly
To be organized is a military trait that is instilled in us since basic training. However, organized room inspections are different than keeping the platoon organized. Do it too well and you’ll be drafted to desk. If you hate paperwork, then take your time doing it. Still, get it done when it counts but when the colonel needs a new gatekeeper, show that you’re I R Grunt. It’s that or else you’ll have to get used to talking to people way above your pay grade on a daily basis.
2. Never volunteer to intellectually challenging tasks
Whenever there is a technical problem let one of the boots (new troops) handle it. Once you fix a few too many computer problems, you become the go-to person every time the most mundane problem happens.
3. Never be seen teaching a class
Training the next generation is continuous. If you want to avoid being the guide to present the annual training courses to thousands of people, do not get caught teaching. Of course, train your troops but don’t let people see you do it. You want to appear to be a sh*t bag, not actually be one.
4. You’ve never heard of powerpoint
Do not believe for a second that a colonel or above makes his or her own powerpoint presentations. If you let people know that you know a thing or two about Microsoft Office, you’re going to have a bad time. It’s not enough that you have to make the weekly command and staff meetings as an enlisted NCO, but they will also hover over you the whole time. ‘Why don’t you do it?’ is unfortunately not a desirable option to say.
5. Don’t ask too many questions
The easiest way to get picked to answer a question nobody asked is if you asked it before. If you’re constantly asking questions and getting answers then you’re going to know more than most. If it is something important then, ask away. Throw in some dumba** questions in there too — for flavor.
Do not be surprised when you always get picked to explain something in layman’s terms. Suddenly you’re the training NCO at S-3 operations because you know everything about training.
6. When all else fails, eat some crayons
If you seriously are that opposed to working in an office setting or gaining more responsibility; then you can always resort to saying ‘I don’t know’. I can’t tell you how many times the situation presented itself when someone simply stated ‘I’m dumb as sh*t, staff sergeant,’ and it worked! It works best for techy kind of working parties. We knew, he knew, and the NCOIC (Non commissioned officer in charge) damn well knew it too but he moved on and picked someone else. Hearing the words is enough to convince people you actually chew crayons.
Super Bowl LIII was the stuff of… well, not legends, exactly — even though the Patriots did become only the second team in NFL history to win six Super Bowls. Whether you were rooting for Brady to cement his GOAT status or hoping the Rams could headbutt him into history, fans from both sides were a little disappointed by the early action in the game.
Here are some of the best memes to come out of the wait, the 4th-quarter fireworks, and the Super Bowl ads:
They’re not exactly wrong:
For anyone who missed the game and hasn’t seen yet: The defenses played amazingly and the coaches did well, but there weren’t many Hail Mary passes or stunning breakouts by running backs.
So, yeah, if you were into offensive plays:
Defense wins championships — not hearts.
The unforced errors were also disappointing, to say the least.
If everyone could just play like conference champions, that would be great.We Are The Mighty
But then the 4th quarter happened.
But then, finally, the Patriots got into the Red Zone. And then they scored. And Rams fans … Well, their world was crushed.
And the victory memes debuted basically immediately.
Good work, Patriots. Congrats on number six.We Are The Mighty
There were some good ads, though.
On the ad side, Bud Light had a few great ones, Stella Artois had an awesome one with Jeff Bridges as The Dude, Harrison Ford and his dog taught everyone about failed Alexa prototypes, and Microsoft showed off their adaptive controllers.
Kia’s ad debuted their swimming SUV, for some reason.
To be clear, no, Kia isn’t releasing a swimming SUV. But their ad about the Kia Telluride showed the small town in Georgia that makes the car and then showed someone driving the car into a river like they didn’t want it anymore (and, yes, it more likely be the Coast Guard than Navy).
For a test you know all the answers to that never changes, the Physical Fitness Test is always a mixed bag of results. Let’s admit it, the only people who worry about the PFT are those that only work out so they can pass the PFT.
The boys at Terminal Boots made this hilarious video about the typical Marine PFT and nailed the experience for all the troops in all service branches. Sure, requirements vary from service branch to service branch but the human element is practically the same.
Case in point comes from Deacon who’s puking his guts out at the beginning of the video. Like Deacon, there’s always that person who’s hungover or drunk from the night before because they had extra time off — probably because leadership let them off early so they can be rested prior to the PFT.
Watch (Humorous PFT profanity warning):
The divide between the military’s enlisted and officer ranks has long been a source of humor for American service members, especially when it comes to the “luxuries” that officers get.
A Royal Marine recently took the banter a step further by creating a hilarious video that shows just how easy he thinks his officers have it when it comes to their meals, which — according to him — involves a candlelit dinner complete with silverware, baguette and newspaper. Very British indeed.
Check out the video below to see this Marine’s hilariously British take on officer eats:
This video was released by the Royal Marines Reserve Meyerside, a reserve military organization based in Liverpool, England.