6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY GAMING

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

The Star Wars train is still rolling along and the toy shelves are filled with those freaking adorably annoying porgs (as a true Star Wars fan, I personally hope that they don’t become the new Jar-Jar).


6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars
Who was really the new Ewoks, who were really just vermin, despite what my editor thinks.

A while back, we touched on the downside of being a Stormtrooper and why they have it worst. Now, let’s look at why the rebels are a very close second.

Related: 6 Reasons why it would suck to be a Stormtrooper in Star Wars

In the The Force Awakens, Finn left the previously mentioned terrible First Order and joined the Resistance, a successor to the Rebellion in all but name. The poor guy doesn’t even know that he just traded one terrible assignment for another.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars
But what does the Empire know about that?

At least Stormtroopers had a few things going for them, such as armor, reliable gear, force of numbers…

The rebels out “fighting the good fight” had next to nothing in nearly everything.

Here’s why it sucks to be a rebel:

6. Very little funding…

Good will can take you a long way against an evil empire, but you still need financing.

Those blasters aren’t just going to buy themselves. Historically, rebellions (in our galaxy) have been financed via a combination of three sources: Other governments, wealthy sympathizers, or outright stealing what they needed.

There aren’t really many options for the Rebel Alliance as far as governments or sympathizers go. When the Galactic Empire called themselves the Galactic Empire, they meant it. Nearly every government in the galaxy fell underneath Emperor Palpatine’s control.

You can’t just turn to the Hutt-controlled space in the Outer Rim for financing because scum and villainy just don’t care about noble causes. The rebels did have an extremely wealthy donor in Bail Organa (Princess Leia’s adoptive father)…but he and his wealth were destroyed on Alderaan.

So, if you estimate the Earth’s total combined wealth at $241 trillion in 2014 and multiply that by the god-knows-how-many planets under the Empire’s control, do you think it’s possible to steal enough stuff to stand a reasonable chance against an enemy that rich?

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars
Who knows? Maybe this dude was just THAT freaking loaded.

5. …which means little gear and training.

The Stormtroopers had acclimatizing suits that were designed to stop blaster shots. The rebels wore…blue shirts and vests. The Stormtroopers had a blaster rifle that works as a machine gun, rifle, and sniper rifle. The rebels stole a few of the same. The Empire had massive fleets of TIE fighters and pilots at their disposal. The Rebels had outdated X-Wings with only a handful of pilots.

And it keeps going on.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars
These guys were screwed before Darth Vader showed up.

4. They’re painted as the villain – because some are.

The problem with being the Rebel Alliance was that it was loosely-formed from many rebels doing their own thing. This was most prominent during the events of Rogue One, where the rebels struggled to keep Saw Gerrera from giving the wrong impression of what the rebellion means.

Related: This is why Rogue One’s Saw Gerrera was basically bin Laden

It’s not too clear how the average citizen of the Galactic Empire feels about the rebellion. The closest we get in the films is when Luke talked about joining the Imperial flight program, and no one reacted as if the Imperials were the bad guys.

Albeit, their opinions did change after the destruction of Alderaan.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars
You can’t convince me that this scene in Rogue One was not ripped directly from a regular day in Kandahar, Afghanistan.

3. Little to no chain of command.

Sure, the pilots get fancy pep talks and are often given commands, but that barely constitutes good advice, let alone a real military order.

Take the Battle of Hoth, for instance. One of the three major rebel bases was under attack and needed to be evacuated. The duty of making sure everyone made it out alive fell entirely on the shoulders of a princess who hadn’t demonstrated any military capabilities until that point.

There were actual generals there, and yet her plan to fly weaponless transport ships full of high ranking officers directly at the enemies didn’t raise a red flag to anyone.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars
Literally an infinite amount of directions to chose from, but nah. Let’s risk it.

Even still, most rebels just acted on their own free will rather than having some actual military decorum. What would you expect from a chain of command that was literally made up of six officer ranks?

Which leads us to…

2. Rank makes no sense.

Case in point: Han Solo. A man who laughed at the Rebellion eventually gave in and helped his new friend. He flew in at the last minute, shot out Darth Vader’s TIE fighter, and earned a medal from the Princess. Got it. It makes some sense to why he’d become Captain Solo by the time of the Battle of Hoth.

We can forgive the battlefield commission/promotion to Captain, even if he wasn’t nearly as much help as Skywalker. The real concern is how he got promoted to General before the Battle of Endor. He didn’t really do anything but fly around space before being captured on Cloud City and imprisoned in carbonite.

When he was released and reunited with the Rebel forces, he was automatically granted the rank of General.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars
Eh. If it works…

In the U.S. military, POWs are promoted with their contemporaries while captured and we stretch things in Star Wars to assume it worked the same way. But seriously? Did enough captains get promoted to general in the span of a year to warrant Han being promoted that quickly?

1. No recognition.

All of that can be explained away as the fighting spirit of the rebellion. Sure, they terrible gear, inexperienced leaders, and wacky organization, but at least you could hold true to the knowledge that they were doing what was right. Too bad the “Empire” turned into the “First Order.”

But your contemporaries will remember you? Right?

Nope. All of that glory went to some civilian contractor (Luke), a seriously unqualified General (Han), and the inexperienced (though highly motivated) adopted daughter of the guy who pays the bills (Leia).

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars
Fighting in the rebellion is so stressful that the dude with the beard is actually 36.

MIGHTY GAMING

Watch this YouTuber take on the DoD Cyber Awareness Challenge

All members of the Department of Defense, including troops, must undertake an annual training to test their knowledge of cyber awareness. A few years back, they changed the test up just slightly to make it far less of a bore and more like a crappy 90s text-based video game.

Everyone freaking hates this training and, if it weren’t mandated at the Pentagon level, no one would willingly subject themselves to it. That is, of course, with the exception of YouTube’s biggest star, PewDiePie.


6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

He had only the trophies and Jeff to keep him company.

(PewDiePie)

Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg, known by most as “PewDiePie,” grew in popularity through his video-game related content — particularly his “Let’s Play” format, through which fans could watch him play games as he delivered hilarious commentary.

His videos have actually created success for many smaller, indie games, particularly in the horror genre. He’d showcase otherwise-ignored games, give them a glowing review or overreact to intense moments, and his rabid fans would immediately buy said game, propelling it into the spotlight. He has since become the biggest YouTuber, currently sitting at 65 million subscribers.

Recently, he finally took on the dreaded Cyber Awareness Challenge — with commentary provided throughout, of course. Being the avid gamer that he is, the ‘Challenge’ proved trivial, but he actually took it far more seriously than anyone in the military does.

Unlike the god-awful test of old, the modern training awards “trophies” for getting everything correct, so PewDiePie gave it his all.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

That’s literally the exact same answer that everyone gives for that question. The dude stole a phone in the Pentagon… You better go grab that phone!

(PewDiePie)

As he slogged through, he coincidentally ripped the exact same moments of the training that troops mock relentlessly. The training wastes no time in offering pieces of painfully obvious guidelines. For example, the very first tip the government puts out there in promotingcyber awareness is “don’t look at pornography at work.”

He also ran into many of the overly stupid characters that populate the training, like Tina, the coworker that constantly tries to get you to download stuff, and Jeff, the IT manager that tells you just how proud of our work he is in the most monotone fashion possible — but for some odd reason only has a box of tissues on his desk?

Pewds, who never served in the U.S. military, was ill-prepared for many of the minute details — like taking your CAC/PIV out of the computer whenever you walk away — but actually did very well. He did, however, fallfor some of the traps that seem to violate common sense.At one point in the training, your phone is stolen and you’re given the opportunity to chase down the thief, and so he did. But the correct answer is to”alert the security POC.”

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

BZ, PewDiePie. You managed to sit through the same crap all troops do without clawing out your eyes. BZ.

(PewDiePie)

PewDiePie passed the DoD Cyber Awareness Challenge with flying colors and was given the Certificate of Completion that every member of the Department of Defense needs to turn in.

He says he’ll print it, which is exactly what you’re supposed to do. Instead of turning it in to his S-6 to reinstate his government computer permissions, I’m sure he’ll hang it on his wall or something.

To watch the same training that sucks the soul out of the military (complete with hilarious commentary), check out the video below.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Ellen surprised this vet and even Robert Downey Jr. cried

Look. Surprising veterans never gets old.

And the holidays just makes it even more impactful and meaningful, which is why celebrities and talk shows often reach out and give back to troops during this time of year. Ellen is no different — but this “Greatest Night of Giveaways” just got better and better.

I watched the whole thing. With the sound on. I recommend you do the same:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIbE0TN8D6k
Robert Downey Jr. and Ellen DeGeneres Give USMC’s Roy Gill and His Mom a New Car and House! (Part 2)

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Marine reservist Lance Cpl. Roy Webster and his mother were guests on the show, which already started out strong.

Since Iron Man is Webster’s favorite movie, Ellen pretended like she was going to give him a DVD of Avengers: Endgame but instead, Robert Downey Jr. popped out of a box.

This would have been enough.

But that wasn’t the surprise.

No. RDJ was just there to be an elf who help dole out more surprises.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCt89wuGlj0
USMC Lance Corporal Roy Gill’s Story: Third-Grade Teacher Helped Him Triumph Over Adversity (Part 1)

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USMC Lance Corporal Roy Gill’s Story: Third-Grade Teacher Helped Him Triumph Over Adversity

The nineteen year-old Marine didn’t have an easy time growing up, but he credits his mother and his third-grade teacher for helping him learn about how to take care of others.

So Ellen decided to bring out his teacher.

THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH.

But Ellen wasn’t done. She gave the teacher and her husband an all-expenses paid trip to Hawaii.

THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH!!!

But Ellen still wasn’t done. Grab some tissues and watch the first video above to see what she did next.

Happy Holidays, everybody. Take care of each other out there.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Check out the new trailer for upcoming WWII movie ‘Midway’

Apologies for spoiling the ending, but the upcoming World War II movie “Midway” is about one of the United States’ greatest military victories in our war with Japan.

The film opens in theaters Nov. 8, 2019, just in time for Veterans Day weekend.

Director Roland Emmerich (“The Patriot,” “Independence Day” and “White House Down”) has spent decades trying to get “Midway” made, and improving technology has finally allowed him to match the movie to his vision.

The studio debuted a new trailer, and you can watch it below.


Midway (2019 Movie) New Trailer – Ed Skrein, Mandy Moore, Nick Jonas, Woody Harrelson

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“Midway” stars Woody Harrelson as Adm. Chester Nimitz and features an epic cast that includes Luke Evans, Patrick Wilson, Mandy Moore, Dennis Quaid, Nick Jonas, Aaron Eckhart and Darren Criss.

The Battle of Midway was truly a turning point in World War II. If the Japanese had won, the entire West Coast would have been exposed, and the alternate history imagined by a show like “The Man in the High Castle” would have been a real possibility.

This article originally appeared on Military.com. Follow @militarydotcom on Twitter.

Articles

These ISIS-fighting women are getting an Amazon Studios film

The Yazidi women who have fought the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria will be the subject of a new feature film in production by Amazon Studios and directed by Sarah Gertrude Shapiro.


This will mark Shapiro’s feature film directorial debut.

According to a report by Deadline.com, the exact plot details are unclear, but Shapiro has done much research into the plight of the Yazidi. Among the stories Shapiro has looked into is that of captured humanitarian worker Kayla Mueller.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars
DoD Photo by Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class Dominique A. Pineiro

The report notes that Mueller was forced into sex slavery and a marriage to ISIS leader Abu Bake al-Baghdadi, and that both the humanitarian organization Doctors Without Borders and the Obama Administration failed to negotiate for her release.

Mueller’s parents claimed they were told that if they did make an offer to the terrorist group, they would risk prosecution. Details of Mueller’s captivity were provided by at least one former sex slave who escaped ISIS, and a letter smuggled to her family.

Mueller died in February 2015, with ISIS claiming she had been killed in an air strike carried out by the Royal Jordanian Air Force, after being held for 18 months. Earlier this month, some reports claimed that Al-Baghdadi was also killed by an air strike.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars
At 23, Joanna Palani, a young Danish-Kurdish student, dropped out of college to join the fight against jihadists in Syria.

Shapiro is also reportedly researching the so-called “European jihadi brides” in preparation for the project. Some of the worst torture suffered by Yazidi sex slaves has been at the hands of the spouses of ISIS fighters.

Shapiro is best known as the creator of the Lifetime series “UnREAL,” starring Constance Zimmer and Shiri Appleby, and also worked behind the scenes on the ABC Reality show “The Bachelor.”

MIGHTY GAMING

5 reasons why being a SPECTRE would be awesome

The Mass Effect series has had its share of ups and downs, but one thing is undeniable — the world-building was done insanely well. One such piece of world-building that is worth mentioning is the existence of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance agents. For those who don’t know, SPECTREs are special agents, granted authority by a government council to essentially carry out special missions that standard military cannot. This authority also gives them an insane amount of freedom.

If there is any unit, fictional or otherwise, to live up to the “Own F***ing Program” mantra, it’s definitely SPECTREs. Why? Because they’re rarely even assigned tasks; often times they just find their own and occasionally check in with the council that granted them their authority in the first place.

So, here are the biggest reasons being a SPECTRE would be awesome:


6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

Although, you may still have to answer to military and government officials when the time comes.

(Bioware)

You can choose your missions

You can also decide which ones take the most precedence. Do you want to rescue colonists before defeating a rogue who’s threatening life in the galaxy? Have at it. For the most part, military officials won’t breathe down your neck about what you’re doing — you just do you.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

This allows you to put together your own personal A-team.

(Bioware)

You choose your crew

You don’t have to go planet-side with a team that was assigned to you. You can essentially recruit whoever you want, including mercenaries, to watch your back.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

Like signing out a duty van — just make sure you fill up the tank.

(Bioware)

You get your own ship

Who doesn’t want their own ship to travel where and when as they please at the expense of their government? That ship is basically yours to do with as you please and go where you see fit, even if there aren’t any missions tied to that distant moon you just dropped in on.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

Or you can just go with what they give you.

(Bioware)

You get the best weapons and gear

“Military grade” doesn’t apply to you. In fact, you can buy whatever you need for your missions, and no higher-up is going to yell at you for it. You want that scope for your rifle? Cool. Do you want to use that alien’s blaster that they just dropped? Go for it. Is the military issued armor not best on the market? Pick up your own.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

No more relying on that government salary.

(U.S. Air Force photo)

You can get paid by whoever you want

One thing that may not have been covered is whether SPECTREs earn a salary or not. But, one thing’s for sure — if someone offers to pay you credits for a job, you’re allowed to take it. Remember how we said you can pick your own missions? One being more lucrative than another may actually be part of which ones you take.

Articles

Reagan taught US pilots how to recognize the Zero

Ronald Reagan probably helped save a number of lives on the front lines — and not because he was a big hero. In fact, Reagan’s eyesight was so bad, they kept him in the United States. But despite not being fit for front-line duty, Reagan still played his role for Uncle Sam.


While Reagan’s eyesight made him next to useless for combat, he did end up being involved in doing training films, one of which involved recognizing the Mitsubishi A6M Zero. Friendly fire has long been a problem — ask Stonewall Jackson.

And yes, friendly fire was a problem in World War II. The P-38 was hamstrung because someone mistook a C-54 for a Fw 200.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars
A6M2 Zero fighters prepare to launch from Akagi as part of the second wave during the attack on Pearl Harbor.

In this training film, “Recognition of the Japanese Zero,” Reagan portrayed a young pilot who had just arrived in the Far East. The recognition angle is hammered home, and not just because of the friendly-fire problem.

Reagan’s character studies silhouettes drawn by a wounded pilot who hesitated too long — and found out he was dealing with a Zero the hard way.

Even with the study, Reagan’s character later accidentally fires at a P-40 he misidentifies, greatly angering the other American pilot. However, when he returns, he takes his lumps, but all turns out okay when the other pilots realizes there is a Zero in Reagan’s sights from the gun camera footage.

Reagan’s character explains that he stumbled across the Zero, then after a dogfight (not the proper tactic against the Zero, it should be noted), Reagan’s character shoots down the Zero.

There’s a happy ending as the earlier near-miss is forgotten and the kill is celebrated.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars
Colin Powell briefing President Ronald Reagan in 1988. (Photo from Reagan Presidential Library)

The film is also notable in that it revealed to American pilots that the United States had acquired a Zero that had crashed in the Aleutians. The so-called Akutan Zero was considered one of the great intelligence coups in the Pacific Theater, arguably second only to the American code-breaking effort.

So, see a future President of the United States help teach American pilots how to recognize the Zero in the video below.

Articles

The real defenders of Benghazi want you to know “13 Hours” is the truth

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars
(Paramount Pictures)


We Are The Mighty recently had the opportunity to sit down with the principals behind “13 Hours” and chat with them about the film, including their sense of how accurate it is. And while the past three years have been full of rumor and innuendo around what happened that fateful night in 2012 in Benghazi, the CIA security contractors who rescued the the Americans and defended the annex want the world to know what’s in the movie “13 Hours” is what really happened on the ground.

Watch:

Director Michael Bay has always been more than a vocal supporter of the military. No matter what his detractors might say, on his film sets, he always makes a concerted effort to get the reality of modern-day U.S. military personnel right. He believes this might be his most realistic movie ever.

Watch:

The film stars John Krasinski as Jack Silva, a CIA contractor and former Navy SEAL who joins a security team already based in Benghazi.

Watch:

Other members of the team include James Badge Dale (“Rone”), Pablo Schreiber (“Tanto”), David Denman (“Boon”), Max Martini (“Oz”), and Dominic Fumusa (“Tig”). To a man, each one told We Are The Mighty how important the realism of the movie was to their performance.

Dale, who has portrayed military personnel before in HBO’s World War II epic miniseries The Pacific, found his preparation for this film different than anything he’s done before. (This time he’s also portraying a former Navy SEAL.)

Watch:

Pablo Schreiber and David Denman play a Marine veteran and Army Ranger veteran who assist with the rescue. Their experiences getting to know the real operators they play onscreen gave them a deep appreciation of the men and what happened there.

Watch:

Max Martini and Dominic Fumusa trained with former Navy SEALs and contractors throughout the filming of the movie. The real defenders of Benghazi watched them as they brought the events of that day back to life.

Watch:

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi is in theaters Friday. Follow the film on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

MIGHTY MOVIES

New ‘Rise of Skywalker’ photos reveal huge ‘Force Awakens’ callback

The baddest bad guy in all of Star Wars is also, perhaps, the most famous fictional father of all time: Darth Vader AKA Anakin Skywalker. But, after Vader was out of the picture in Return of the Jedi, newer Star Wars movies have struggled to introduce family drama into the saga that was as meaty and as frightening. Since 2015’s The Force Awakens, the primary villain of new Star Wars has mostly been Kylo Ren, previously known as Ben Solo, before he turned evil and killed his dad, Han Solo. But, back in 2015, it was hinted that Kylo Ren had some muscle to help with his dirty work; the mysterious Knights of Ren. Now, like the Spanish Inquisition on Monty Python, they’re back! Nobody expects the Knights of Ren!

Thanks to newly released photos from The Rise of Skywalker, it finally looks like we’ll get some answers about who the hell these dark knights really are.


On May 22, 2019, Vanity Fair released its latest cover story, a huge preview of The Rise of Skywalker written by Magicians novelist, journalist and all-around cool dad, Lev Grossman. As with most Star Wars films, this feature was accompanied by beautiful photos from legendary photographer Annie Lewbowitz. Chewbacca is reunited with Lando, Luke Skywalker’s ghost (maybe?) stands proudly with R2-D2 and Rey and Kylo Ren duke it out again with their lightsabers. But, for fans thinking about the villains of the new saga, one minor detail was confirmed by the photos, which has major implications: The Knights of Ren are back!

In one early photo, evildoers, dressed all in black are depicted with the following caption:

“J.J. Abrams, alongside Stunt Coordinator Eunice Huthart, directs the Knights of Ren; elite fearsome enforcers of Kylo Ren’s dark will.”

Up until this point, it wasn’t entirely clear if the Knights of Ren would actually return in The Rise of Skywalker, or, like, at all. After being introduced in a flashback in The Force Awakens, hardcore fans and regular people alike have been scratching their heads for four years now about who these people could be. Like Kylo Ren, are they also former students of Luke Skywalker’s turned to evil? Are all of them men? Could another, long-lost member of the Skywalker/Solo family be chilling under those creepy masks? How come they don’t all get lightsabers?

Not, it looks like The Rise of Skywalker is poised to answer this question. It may be a small thing, but considering the fact that Kylo Ren could seemingly turn back to the light side of the Force at any point, then it feels likely any of the Knights of Ren could become the latest scum and villainy in the Star Wars universe. (We don’t know who Kylo is fighting in those trailers, after all.)

Star Wars loves to have a good role reversal when it comes to evildoers. In the original trilogy, Darth Vader was revealed to be Luke’s father. In, the prequels, a kindly senator was really a Sith Lord. Even in Solo: A Star Wars Story, a dreaded gang leader — Enfys Nest — is secretly a revolutionary woman in disguise.

So, now that we know the Knights of Ren are back, we should be prepared for some answers about them, but also, some twists, too.

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Here’s what the ‘Spider-Man’ end-credits mean for future Marvel movies

“Spider-Man: Far From Home” is in theaters. And if you head out to see it, make sure you stay until the very end.

There are two must-watch end-credits scenes that will have fans talking long after the movie is over. The last one will change the way you see the entire movie.

If you left the theater early, or were confused at all, INSIDER has you covered.


The first end-credits scene

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

MJ and Peter Parker are officially a couple.

(Sony Pictures)

What happens

The scene picks up right where the movie ended with MJ and Peter Parker across the street from Madison Square Garden in New York City after the two flew through the city skies.

“Are you OK?” asks Peter Parker.

“Yeah, I’m never doing that again,” MJ tells Parker.

Peter’s about to head off when a breaking news report comes on a screen on the side of Madison Square Garden. The newsman says he has “disturbing revelations” about last week’s attack in London.

“An anonymous source provided this video,” says the newsman. “It shows Quentin Beck aka Mysterio moments before his death.”

The news stream then cuts to Mysterio looking right into the camera saying that he managed to send the Elementals back through an inter-dimensional rip in time and space, but he’s not confident he’s going to make it.

“Spider-Man attacked me for some reason,” says Beck. “He has an army of weaponized drones. Stark technology. He said he’s going to be the next Iron Man.”

The video then cuts to footage of Spider-Man speaking with his Stark technology glasses, E.D.I.T.H.

“Are you sure you want to commence the drone attack? There will be significant casualties,” says E.D.I.T.H. The Stark glasses stand for “Even Dead, I’m the hero.”

Spider-Man is then heard saying he doesn’t care.

“Execute them all,” Spider-Man appears to say.

The newsman says the video was released on the “controversial news website” theDailyBugle.net.

J.K. Simmons then appears on screen reprising his role as J. Jonah Jameson, the head of the fictional New York City tabloid.

“There you have it, folks. Conclusive proof that Spider-Man was responsible for the brutal murder of Mysterio, an inter-dimensional warrior who gave his life to protect our planet and who, will no doubt, go down in history as the greatest superhero of all time,” says Jameson.

Jameson’s not done yet. He then shows another clip of Mysterio.

“Spider-Man’s real name is Peter Parker,” he says.

Photos of Parker show up on the big screen. Parker, shocked, yells out, “What the —?”

The scene cuts to black.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson in “Spider-Man.”

(Columbia Pictures)

The return of J. Jonah Jameson!

None other than J.K. Simmons, who played the same character in the original “Spider-Man” trilogy starring Tobey Maguire, appears at the film’s end.

In the original trilogy, which ran from 2002 until 2007, Jameson plays a newspaperman who is constantly demanding photos of the webslinger. Jameson thinks Spider-Man is a menace and is set on exposing the vigilante in The Daily Bugle.

In the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Jameson has left the newspaper business behind and is running his own Daily Bugle website.

Jameson has aged accordingly since the last time we’ve seen him on screen; however, his appearance leaves a big question up in the air. Is this the same version of Jameson who we saw in the Tobey Maguire era of “Spider-Man” movies? Probably not.

If you’re familiar with 2018’s “Into the Spider-Verse,” which introduced different versions of Peter Parker living in parallel dimensions, we’re thinking this is simply a different version of Jameson suited for the MCU. We’re here for it.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

Peter’s going to be panicking for a little.

(Sony)

What this means for future “Spider-Man” movies: It’s not looking great for Peter at the moment.

Not only does Parker have to juggle a new relationship with his superhero responsibilities, but now he’s probably going to be on the run, at least for a little now that his secret identity is out there.

Any new potential threats to Spidey will likely come after Aunt May, MJ, or anyone else close to Peter. While this may present immediate concern, it shouldn’t be a danger to Parker forever.

We’re not that concerned about Peter’s identity being leaked to the world. Something tells us Parker’s pals Pepper Potts and S.H.I.E.L.D. will be able to swoop in and fix this real quick. We’d be surprised if they’re not able to show that the video footage from Jameson is fake news, at some point, and make it seem as if Peter isn’t really Spidey. This is a minor hiccup for the young Spidey.

Unfortunately, Spidey’s now on Jameson’s radar and you better believe he’s probably going to be asking for more photos of Parker and Spider-Man to get further proof that the two are one and the same.

The second end-credits scene

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

Nick Fury and Maria Hill go for another car ride similar to the end of “Avengers: Infinity War.”

(Sony Pictures)

What happens

We open up to Maria Hill and Nick Fury driving around in an Audi, a scene that’s reminiscent to the end of “Infinity War.”

As they’re in the car, Hill shapeshifts back into the Skrull, Soren.

“You gotta tell him, Talos,” Soren says.

Fury shapeshifts back into Soren’s husband, Talos.

“It was fine,” says Talos. “The little boy handled it. We helped.”

“How was I supposed to know that the whole thing was fake? I mean that was all very convincing,” he adds. “This is embarrassing for a shapeshifter.”

Talos decides to call the real Nick Fury.

“Hey, I hope your mission is going well. We gave the glasses to Parker about a week ago, like you said,” Talos tells Fury. “Shortly after that, everything kind of went off the rails, and so we need you to come back. Everyone kept asking where the Avengers are and I don’t know what to say to that.”

The scene cuts to the real Nick Fury who hangs up on Talos. He’s on a beach with a drink in a coconut. Fury gets up and stretches to reveal that he’s not really on a beach. He’s on a ship with other Skrulls.

“Back to work,” Fury claps. He walks further around the ship barefoot to show that he’s in space.

The scene cuts to black.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

Talos was introduced in “Captain Marvel.”

(Marvel Studios)

Who are those green aliens?

If you haven’t seen “Captain Marvel,” you may have been surprised by the reveal of the shapeshifters. Soren and Talos (Ben Mendelsohn) are two friendly skrulls who were first introduced in the March 2019 movie.

A general in the Skrull Empire, Talos’ people were caught in a war with the Kree, who destroyed their home planet. Talos was reunited with his wife, Soren, and his child by the movie’s end.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

(Marvel)

Where is Nick Fury and what is he up to?

Fury’s been hanging out with the Skrulls since returning from Thanos’ life-altering Snap in “Avengers: Infinity War.” It looks like he’s trying to relax a little bit more after initially vanishing for five years.

That doesn’t mean Fury isn’t still focused on work. We see him on some unidentified Skrull ship alongside a flurry of the green guys. Fury tells everyone to get back to work. What kind of work?

Our best guess is that Fury is probably off looking for more alien life to recruit more superheroes. He’s the one who started the Avengers’ initiative. Now that Captain America and Iron Man are toast, he may need some new heroes to fill their shoes. Space seems like a good place to search.

There’s a little piece of evidence to support this. Captain Marvel tells Black Widow early in “Avengers: Endgame” that she can’t be back on Earth because she’s busy on other planets. Thanos’ Snap affected life throughout the universe and Carol Danvers looked like she was checking in on a lot of different people. We wouldn’t be surprised if Fury was going to meet Danvers on one of these planets that needed her help or if he’s looking into beings on another one of the worlds.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

Peter Parker’s been to space, but he may not be ready for what’s next in the MCU.

(Sony pictures)

What does this mean for the next phase of Marvel movies? Prepare to get more celestial

“Spider-Man: Far From Home” closes out the third phase of the MCU. After more than 20 movies, where are we heading next?

The sight of Fury in space has us thinking about the future lineup of Marvel movies and most of them are reportedly pretty cosmic. Of Disney’s upcoming movie slate, there are eight untitled Marvel movies. Among the movies Marvel is currently working on are “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3” and “The Eternals,” two movies which deal with space and cosmic beings.

While James Gunn is returning to direct the third “GOTG” movie, we’re more interested in the latter film. Marvel Studios’ president Kevin Feige previously told TheWrap the film was in development. Ma Dong-seok (“Train to Busan”), Richard Madden (“Game of Thrones”), and Kumail Nanjiani (“Silicon Valley”) are reportedly among the cast, with Angelina Jolie in talks to join. We could easily see Fury hearing about these characters and jetting off to find them.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

Jack Kirby created the Eternals in 1976.

(Marvel)

Perhaps the answer is simpler. The end of “Far From Home” could simply be teasing the next “Captain Marvel” and filling us in on what Carol Danvers has been up to since the ’90s and since Fury vanished at the end of “Infinity War.”

Hopefully, we’ll only have to wait for San Diego Comic-Con in a few short weeks to potentially hear more about the upcoming Marvel Cinematic Universe films.

This article originally appeared on Insider. Follow @thisisinsider on Twitter.

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MIGHTY MOVIES

‘The Mandalorian’ episode 6 recap: Mando makes bad choices

Is anyone else feeling some anxiety with regards to our Mandalorian’s decision-making? This week, he brings the Yoda Baby on a reckless adventure with very shady sidekicks. It’s just very irresponsible parenting, to be honest.

But hey, more fun guest stars.

Here’s your spoiler warning.


6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

The Mandalorian, Disney+

Chapter six of The Mandalorian is called “The Prisoner” because Mando (I’m still struggling with this nickname…is every Mandalorian called “Mando”?) our Mandalorian accepts a job from Space Santa, officially known as Ranzar Malk (played by Patriot’s Mark Boone Junior), to release a prisoner from a New Republic prison ship.

We’re not really given a backstory into why he chose to go meet up with this dude from his past but it’s immediately clear that he walked into a hostile environment.

Usually in an ensemble heist situation, we’re introduced to a ragtag crew of lovable characters with specific skills, but here it’s just a list of annoying enemies.

There’s Mayfeld (played by Bill Burr), who will be running point on the operation because Space Santa is retired. Then there’s a Twi’lek named Xi’an (played by Game of Thrones’ Natalia Tena), who likes to do a full-body hiss and play with her knives, which I can appreciate. There’s the droid Zero (played by Apple Onion’s Richard Ayoade), who is a droid so our Mandalorian already dislikes him for reasons that haven’t been explained yet. And then there’s Burg (Clone Wars’ Clancy Brown), who Mayfeld immediately insults for his looks.

(Also, why do guys do this to their friends? I’m genuinely asking. Why do you guys insult each other all the time? I can’t imagine introducing my girlfriends and being like, “This is Sally, she’s our DD tonight, and that ugly slut is Jane, who has promised to buy the first round…”)

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

It’s like Guardians of the Galaxy meets Suicide Squad.

The Mandalorian, Disney+

So…when our Mandalorian accepted Space Santa’s job, he was under the impression that his Razor Crest wouldn’t be part of the deal. In other words, his plan was to — again — just leave the Yoda Baby alone on the ship and then fly off to some illegal and dangerous mission?

Instead, he’s surprised when all these greedy criminals, one of whom already bears a grudge (Xi’an, who also maybe used to have a sexual history) board his ship and fly it and the Yoda Baby into harm’s way.

And, like, literally the only thing keeping the baby hidden was a button? Which Burg immediately pushes during a skirmish where he tried to take off Mando’s helmet.

The only good thing about all this was Bill Burr’s reaction:

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

“What is that? Did you guys make that thing? Is it like a pet?”

The Mandalorian, Disney+

Just like in previous episodes, the Yoda Baby’s race is rare — none of these scoundrels recognize him or register his significance other than sensing he’s important to Mando. The Yoda Baby is then dropped again when the Razor Crest is yanked out of hyperspace and docked on the prison ship.

This kid is going to need a therapist, I swear.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

The Mandalorian, Disney+

The distraction is enough to move the crew into the bulk of the episode. They board the prison ship, which is supposed to be manned by droids only. Our Mandalorian proves himself by taking out the first wave of them. Within the control room, however, they discover a young New Republic prison ward.

Unfortunately for this kid, he becomes collateral damage (RIP Matt Lanter), but not before activating a New Republic distress call. Now we’ve got a ticking clock, spurring the group into action.

They find their prisoner, another Twi’Lek named Qin (played by Berlin Station’s Ismael Cruz Cordova), who is Xi’an’s brother — stranded there by Mando. The crew rescue Qin and shove Mando into his cell, which actually made things interesting.

Would the crew take off with the Yoda Baby in the Razor Crest, leaving Mando locked in a New Republic prison? Potentially forcing him to team up with them as he builds toward the season finale?

Oh. No. He busts out in two seconds. He busts out so quickly that he’s able to also track down and imprison each of the other crew members before they were able to reach the ship?

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

Holy crap, he’s so cute.

The Mandalorian, Disney+

Speaking of which, back on the Razor Crest, Zero has learned that the Yoda Baby is an expensive asset and sets off to hunt him. Right before he’s able to shoot the child, the Yoda Baby readies his adorable little Force powers and BOOM the droid drops.

Cute moment when the Yoda Baby thinks he did it, only to reveal that Mando is standing behind the droid, having just shot him.

This leaves Qin, who tells Mando he’ll go clean and urges the bounty hunter to just do his job and deliver the bounty.

I was kind of hoping to see the Twi’Lek in carbonite but apparently it wasn’t necessary.

Mando delivers Qin to Space Santa, who abides by the “no questions asked” policy with regards to the missing crew, and takes off.

As he leaves, Space Santa orders an attack ship to kill him…

…but in a fun twist, Qin discovers the New Republic distress beacon on his person right before an echelon of X-Wings drop out of hyperspace and destroy the ship.

https://twitter.com/sithmando/statuses/1205413491269656576
baby yoda was shook #TheMandalorianpic.twitter.com/qZ0CWBXdYS

twitter.com

With two episodes left, I still have no idea where this show is going. It’s a fun ride but I’d love to see some more mystery and back story. What do you think?

Reminder, Chapter 7 will air on Wednesday, December 18, because Rise of Skywalker will open on December 19 and people will be busy all weekend watching that.

See you then.

#TheMandalorian Chapter 6 spoilers without context. #StarWarspic.twitter.com/rTti3gpvBe

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MIGHTY GAMING

6 reasons why it would suck to be a Space Marine in ‘Halo’

Throughout the Halo series, you’ll find yourself fighting alongside (or within) units of Space Marines — and it’s abundantly clear that being one of them would be absolutely terrible. If you think about how real-life Marines are treated, it’s not hard to see why: they get the worst gear and use it to take on the toughest battles.

The enemy in Halo is an alien faction known as The Covenant. They’re a brutal, calculating, formidable opponent for Earth’s futuristic military. It’s their goal (initially) to find Earth and wipe humanity from the universe, so it’s safe to say the stakes are high.

If you’ve ever dreamt of being part of the futuristic fight against The Covenant and you’re not lucky enough to be Master Chief, here are a few reasons why being one of the many faceless Space Marines in the series would suck.


6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

Don’t let the firepower get you down.

(Microsoft Game Studios)

You would feel like you’re not making progress

You’ll quickly realize The Covenant isn’t just trying to wipe out entire planets, they’re succeeding at a devastating pace. You might go home after your deployment only to find a pile of rubble. Bummer.

Fighting invisible aliens

Since the onset of the series, Master Chief has found various power-ups to help him through the fight. One of the most iconic is active camouflage. We’ve never seen a regular Space Marine pick one up, but we’ve definitely spotted (barely) a few Covenant Elite using it. After you dump a magazine’s worth of ammo into an invisible enemy, you’ll never feel safe in the dark again.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

They’re even terrifying to look at.

(Microsoft Game Studios)

Fighting zombie aliens

The Flood, an alien species of parasitic organisms, are easily the biggest pains in the ass in Halo. They’re fast, they multiply like crazy, and they’re out to infect anything — human or otherwise. Not only will they want to consume and convert you, they’ll actually be smart enough to use your guns against your friends if they get you.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

You’ll just have to get used to it.

(Microsoft Game Studios)

Mortality rate is horrendous

Covenant fighters, for anyone not named Master Chief, are extremely difficult to kill. They can absorb a seemingly endless amount of rounds from Marine rifles and employ devastating weapons and vehicles to wipe out entire squads in a single blow.

Deployments would be long

In real life, if you get sent across the world on deployment, you’ll spend a few months getting things done before coming back. In space, you might find yourself on the other side of the galaxy. If the UNSC Marine Corps spent the time and money to get you that far, you can be sure you’ll be staying for a while.

This is all assuming you still have a home planet to return to, of course.

6 reasons it would suck to be a rebel soldier in Star Wars

In true higher-up fashion.

(Microsoft Game Studios)

Master Chief will always take the glory

Master Chief is mostly a lone wolf but, occasionally, Space Marines help him out. Unfortunately, he won’t need your help — he probably just needs your sniper rifle. To be fair, he’ll typically do the heavy lifting and most of the Marines die off anyways, so don’t get upset when he’s the one getting medals at the end.

MIGHTY MOVIES

The best fictional Marines from movies and TV

Let’s be honest, most movies don’t get the Marines right, but that doesn’t mean some characters don’t capture what the Corps is all about.

Even among the the incredible men and women of the U.S. Armed Forces, Marines have a tendency to stand out. Whether it’s our cult-like affinity for adhering to regulations, our invariably over-the-top pride in our branch, our ability to hit targets from 500 yards out on iron sights, or the truck-load of ego we take with us into a fight, Marines are unquestionably a breed of their own.


In movies and television, Marines are often depicted as hellacious war fighters and disciplined professionals, but Marines themselves will be the first to tell you that, while we may work hard, we often party even harder. Marines aren’t war machines, but we are highly trained. Marines aren’t incapable of compassion, but we do often keep our emotions in check. Marines aren’t super human, but that won’t stop us from acting–and talking–like we are.

That swirling combination of bravado and humility, of violence and compassion, of action and introspection make Marines more complex than they’re often depicted on screens big and small. It’s just hard to cram the sort of paradox into a fictional character. Hell, it’s hard to cram that sort of paradox into a real person too–which is why, as any Marine Corps recruiter will tell you, the Corps isn’t for everyone.

So when it comes to fictional Marines, who does the best job of capturing the unique dynamic of Uncle Sam’s Devil Dogs? That’s just what we aim to find out.

The Only Way To Be Sure (Aliens 1986)

www.youtube.com

Corporal Dwayne Hicks – Aliens

Hicks, as we all know him, was technically a corporal in the United States Colonial Marine Corps, which may not exist now, but just may in the far-flung future of the Aliens movies. While Bill Paxton’s Private Hudson may have some of the more memorable lines (“Game over man! Game over!”) it’s Hicks that maintains his military bearing throughout most of the film. When their unit is decimated and Corporal Hicks finds himself as the senior Marine on station, he willingly assumes the responsibility of command, contradicts the unsafe orders given by the mission’s civilian liaison, and makes a command decision based on the evidence at hand.

If you ask me, that’s some pretty good Marine-ing right there.

The X Files – Skinner Talks About Vietnam (2×08)

www.youtube.com

Walter Skinner – X-Files

Back in the 1990s, no one was cooler than the UFO-chasing FBI agents on the Fox series, The X-Files, but despite Mulder and Scully’s run ins with the supernatural, neither were particularly tough when it came time to fight. Fortunately, their boss was a Vietnam veteran U.S. Marine that had worked his way up to Assistant Director of the FBI.

Skinner didn’t only prove himself a capable fighter time and time again, he regularly put his life on the line to help the agents under his charge and frequently was stuck trying to insulate them from nefarious powers elsewhere in the U.S. government. Skinner was no pushover, and regularly dolled out disciplinary lectures, but when they needed him, Skinner was there with a solid right hook and a drive to protect his troops.

A good Marine isn’t just about the fight. A good Marine is a leader–and that’s just what Skinner is.

Fred Thompson— Hunt for Red October

www.youtube.com

Jack Ryan

There are enough iterations of Jack Ryan for everyone to have a favorite. Whether you prefer Alec Baldwin’s Ryan squaring off with the best of the Soviet Navy in The Hunt for Red October or the John Krasinski’s TV version fighting modern day terrorism, there are some universal traits every character named Jack Ryan carries with them.

Ryan is the perpetual underdog, always starting his story arc as an unassuming CIA analyst and Marine veteran. Despite having all the usual Marine Corps training, a helicopter crash left Ryan with a long road to recovery and a new way of life–but that didn’t stop him from devoting himself to serving his country in any form he could.

Ryan is the perfect example of a Marine that could have done something else–with his smarts, capabilities, and drive, he could be successful in any industry. He chose service because his nation matters to the very fabric of his being. That’s what being a Marine is all about.

This article originally appeared on Sandboxx. Follow Sandboxx on Facebook.