3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day

When I was a young military spouse, I aspired to be the quintessential image of “the military spouse” I envisioned. These people were strong and capable; they could handle any crisis thrown at them; they were flawless and supportive and picture-perfect.

Now that I am nearly 18 years into this military gig, my idea of the military spouse has evolved. But the one constant is this: These women and men are strong, capable and supportive individuals. They are the people behind the scenes of our service members, the ones keeping families afloat and holding down the homefront.

That’s why I love Milspouse Appreciation Day – it’s a day to celebrate us!

At The Association of Military Spouse Entrepreneurs, I have met more strong milspouses who are doing amazing work in their communities and in the world. Milspouse entrepreneurs are combining both military life and entrepreneurship. 

For this year’s Milspouse Appreciation Day, here are three milspouses you need to know  – three women finding success and validation in their journeys. They are balancing all of this and quite frankly, making it look easy (although I know it is not!).

  1. Felicia Jackson, owner and inventor of CPR Wrap

The invention of CPR Wrap emerged from a truly life-changing moment. Felicia Jackson was trained in CPR but when her toddler son went into cardiac arrest, she froze. Her husband quickly jumped into action, but this moment changed her life. “As a soldier, my husband was taught to overcome and react strategically to various situations and because of this, we have a thriving 20-year-old son today.” Military life trained both of them to adapt, overcome and be prepared – and it led Felicia to develop CPR Wrap.

CPR Wrap is a translucent overlay that guides anyone through the four American Heart Association CPR steps. It is made with medical-grade materials, AED compliant and packed in an easy-to-store, compact design.

When asked what she, as a successful milspouse entrepreneur, would advise to younger milspouses, Felicia stated, “I would advise any military spouse, young or seasoned, to not wait until everything is perfect. Take matters into your own hands and get the information you need and execute! We are all learning and you will never have all the answers; just be open to learning and use the military community for mentorship, advice and connections.”

Find out more about Felicia and CPR Wrap here.

  1. Colleen Marchi, owner and creator of Magical Order of the Brave Knights

For Colleen Marchi, service to others and the community has been in her blood. Her mother is a teacher, her father a psychologist, her oldest brother is a firefighter, and her other brother went to West Point and became a pilot in the Army. She met her Army husband while earning her Master’s in psychology, and she was drawn to his dedication to service, too. 

But military life is hard, and it was during a deployment the idea for the Magical Order of Brave Knights was born. Colleen’s youngest son began to experience separation anxiety. She tried everything to help him feel safe and protected to no avail. Finally, after one night of being up multiple times, Colleen came up with a solution. She created the Brave Knights to help children give up their worries and ultimately overcome them.

“The Magical Order of Brave Knights was created with the intent to help develop strategies to conquer separation anxiety and nighttime fears and replace it with happiness and blissful sleep. Our Brave Knights offer your child friendship, devotion, love and guardianship all through the night.” With Sir William the Brave Knight, a flashlight and her book, Colleen is helping military kids overcome their fears and supporting the community.

Colleen noted one of the most important military mottos, “Adapt, improvise, and overcome,” is also perfect for entrepreneurs. “I have learned to pivot, adapt, improvise and overcome all the obstacles that inevitably come my way in business. This resiliency and service mindset is what makes military spouses the best entrepreneurs.”

To learn more about Colleen and the Magical Order of Brave Knights, click here.

  1. Megan Malone, owner of The Akazi Project

The heart of The Akazi Project is women: in the name, the founders and the people who benefit from the sales of their products. For Megan Malone and her business partner, the desire to help women in Malawi with access to medical care led to the Akazi Project. This jewelry line works collaboratively with female crafters and miners from Malawi and Guatemala by giving jobs and skills and profits back to their communities.

Megan has been married to her Navy husband for 13 years and credits the lifestyle with giving her the flexibility and adaptability necessary for entrepreneurship. But, she also wants milspouses to know you can have your own life outside of the military, something her business has given her. 

“You are your own person, not your partner’s work…I think it is so incredibly important to remember you have your own value and it’s MORE than okay to invest in yourself. I asked myself early on, ‘What is your own personal call to serve?’ and for me, it is my work as a public health practitioner but also as an ever-evolving person looking to achieve my own goals.”

For more information on Megan and The Akazi Project, click here.

These spouses are the embodiment of strong, milspouse entrepreneurs and community leaders. While each has her own business and niche, they all show us military life can be an asset in our personal and professional lives. For Milspouse Appreciation Day, we hope you draw inspiration from them and from yourself.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

Dunford discusses military deployments to the border

The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff laid out the process for military support to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security during a discussion with students in Duke University’s Program in American Grand Strategy Nov. 5, 2018.

The U.S. military has stepped out smartly to support DHS, Marine Corps Gen. Joe Dunford said. There are now 5,200 active-duty personnel helping Customs and Border Protection on the Southwest border.

The chairman spoke of the process solely from a military perspective. The Department of Homeland Security’s Customs and Border Protection agency have the mission of securing the borders. DHS officials have said that they are worried that caravans of Central American asylum-seekers pushing up from the south may overwhelm CBP personnel. DOD was tasked to provide logistical and medical support.


Capabilities

Homeland Security told DOD in writing what capabilities they needed, Dunford said. DOD officials studied the request and proposed what is being deployed now. This includes logistical support, specifically to harden points of entry.

“There are soldiers on the border putting up concertina wire and reinforcing the points of entry,” the chairman said.

DOD personnel are also helping with movement and providing trucks and helicopters. DOD is also providing some medical support.

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day

Marine Corps Gen. Joe Dunford, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, discusses the U.S. military’s support to Customs and Border Protection with students in Duke University’s Program in American Grand Strategy in Durham, N.C., Nov. 5, 2018.

(DOD photo by Navy Petty Officer 1st Class Dominique A. Pineiro)

“There is no plan for U.S. military forces to be involved in the actual mission of denying people entry into the United States,” Dunford said. “There is no plan for soldiers to come in contact with immigrants or reinforce the Department of Homeland Security as they are conducting their mission. We are providing enabling capabilities.”

The military is following an order from President Donald J. Trump to support the Department of Homeland Security, the chairman said.

Clear guidance

From a military standpoint, he said, he asked a number of questions. The first was, “Do we have unambiguous directions on what the soldiers … have to do?”

The answer is yes, Dunford said, and what’s more, the soldiers understand what is expected of them.

“Number 2: ‘Is this legal?’ And the answer is, yes,” Dunford said. “And three, do they have the capability, the wherewithal to perform the task we’ve asked them to accomplish?”

The service members on the border “know exactly what they are doing, they know why they are doing it and they have the proper training and equipment to do it,” he said.

This article originally appeared on the United States Department of Defense. Follow @DeptofDefense on Twitter.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

4 ways to avoid losing your $*@%! mind with your kids during quarantine

Many of us feel like we are living out a science fiction movie. The coronavirus is wreaking havoc on the world, and the United States is no exception. With the President declaring a national public emergency, the race is on to mitigate risks and slow the spread of the virus. Banned travel, empty shelves in stores, and now multiple states have closed down their K-12 public schools. The country is panicking and hunkering down. The seriousness of this pandemic cannot be understated.


But, it has to be said. Can we just have one long moment of silence for all the hiding parents who are crying in their pantries at the thought of entertaining their children for the next three weeks?

This quarantine is going to test parents like nothing else. There’s a reason many of us don’t homeschool our kids and choose to happily send them to school. With the added emotional stress and anxiety over a worldwide pandemic – parents are going to be sorely tested in ways they never imagined over the coming weeks. So, what the eff are you going to do to avoid all those avoid negative coping strategies and entertain your family?

1. Turn off the news

Yep, you read that right. While it is smart to be educated about the continual updates and new developing cases of coronavirus; you are doing more harm than good watching 24/7 news coverage. Download a reliable news app to your phone, if there are any new updates, you’ll be alerted. Staring at the screen all day will just increase your anxiety. There have been many evidence-based studies completed on the negative effect emergencies can have on your health. Also, your kids don’t need to see that either.

Shut. It. Off.

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day

2. Shop smart

Instead of buying out all the toilet paper, purchase the things that are going to support your sanity during the quarantine. Do buy easy meals and food options for a couple of weeks. But also remember to add things to your cart to keep your kids busy. Stores like Michaels and JoAnn’s will have plenty of various inexpensive project kits for your kids. Buy them up! If you don’t want to or aren’t able to venture out, Amazon is still delivering. Throw in some new card and board games while you are at it. Maybe even an adult coloring book or two.

3. Organize your troops

With the lines in the stores and news stations breeding continual chaos, restore control by making a plan for your family quarantine. This is going to be absolutely vital for those that already work remotely or will soon be doing so due to new quarantines being put into place. Also, it’s completely vital for your sanity.

  1. Build a daytime schedule. Most schools are giving students options for online learning, utilize the morning hours to get this work done. If their school hasn’t set anything up there are many free sites with educational assignments for them to stay up to date. Tutor.com is free for military kids, offering 24/7 tutoring. While they are working on their educational activities, you can get your work done. Break for a family lunch and have the littles take their naps while the older kids work on fun projects.
  2. The internet can be your friend! Check out websites like HGTV, Parents, Pinterest, and The Best Ideas for Kids.
  3. Menu plan for the week. After your apocalypse shopping win, don’t test your sanity by giving your children or spouse the chance to say “there’s nothing to eat.” Refer them to the menu and list of snacks. Try not to glare when you do it.
  4. Plan out fun family night activities. While this pandemic is frightening and causing all sorts of anxiety, take a moment to embrace this extra time you will now have with your family. Choose positivity in the face of frustration. Bring on the family game nights, movies, puzzles, or video game wars. Soak it in.
3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day

4. Lean on your people

As we all decide to be socially responsible and limit going out, don’t forget your support networks. Watch life-stream church services, do video chats with your friends over coffee, and try to find time to laugh every day. If you find yourself slipping into concerning symptoms of depression or anxiety, reach out for help. Military One Source for Department of Defense families and CG SUPRT for Coast Guard families has 24/7 professionals just waiting to help you through it.

All from the comfort of your quarantined home.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

Trump signs two new laws to combat veteran suicide; 988 to become National Crisis Line

Thanks to new legislation signed into law Saturday, anyone distressed with thoughts of suicide will be able by next fall to dial 988 to reach a national crisis line similar to 911 for mental health emergencies.

President Donald Trump on Saturday signed two bills into law to help prevent veterans suicide — the National Suicide Hotline Designation Act and the Commander John Scott Hannon Veterans Mental Health Care Improvement Act.


The latter establishes a new Department of Veterans Affairs grant program to promote collaboration with outside entities and enhance suicide prevention services for veterans and their families. It establishes new data requirements to better track potential causes of suicide and new hiring rules to bolster the VA’s mental health workforce.

The VA estimates that more than 20 veterans die by suicide every day, and of those 20, 14 have received no treatment or care from the VA, according to a statement by Senate Veterans Affairs Committee Chairman Jerry Moran, R-Kan. Moran and ranking member Jon Tester, D-Mont., sponsored the Improvement Act, which they say will improve outreach to veterans and their mental health care options in six major ways:

  • Bolstering VA’s mental health workforce to serve more veterans by offering scholarships to mental health professionals to work at Vet Centers and placing at least one suicide prevention coordinator in every VA hospital.
  • Improving rural veterans’ access to mental health care by increasing the number of locations at which veterans can access VA telehealth services.
  • Implementing a pilot program to provide veterans access to complementary and integrative health programs through animal therapy, agritherapy, sports and recreation therapy, art therapy, and post-traumatic growth.
  • Establishing a grant program that requires VA to better collaborate with community organizations across the country already serving veterans. This collaboration will result in earlier identification of veterans who are at risk of suicide and will provide the ability to intervene with preventative services.
  • Studying the impact of living at high altitude on veterans’ suicide risk and diagnostic biomarker research to identify depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and other conditions.
  • Holding the VA accountable for its mental health care and suicide prevention efforts by examining how the department manages its suicide prevention resources.
3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day

Introduction ceremony for the Commander John Scott Hannon Veterans Mental Health Care Improvement Act. Photo from US Sen. Jon Tester’s official website.

“People in distress and in need of timely care should face the fewest obstacles possible to get help,” VA Secretary Robert Wilkie said after the bill was signed. “The bill President Trump signed today will soon make it easier for those at risk to be quickly connected to a trained responder and will help save lives.”

The legislation is named for Navy SEAL Commander John Scott Hannon, who retired to Montana after 23 years of service and worked to help veterans find their own paths to recovery before he died by suicide Feb. 25, 2018.

“This is a very proud moment for my brother and our entire family,” said Kim Parrott, Hannon’s sister, on behalf of the Hannon family. “This law will provide veterans greater and earlier access to the mental health care they need by requiring the DOD and VA to work together to bridge the transition between military service and civilian life and conduct research in evidence-based treatments.”

Tester said the new law “combines the best ideas from veterans, veterans service organizations, the VA, and mental health care advocates to deliver innovative solutions that’ll help heal invisible wounds of war through increased access to care, alternate therapies and local treatment options.”

Senators also agreed to try and fast-track a package of nine House bills also related to veterans suicide. That package — dubbed the COMPACT Act — features a measure by House Veterans’ Affairs Committee Chairman Mark Takano, D-Calif., to make VA mental health care services available to all veterans, regardless of their discharge status, according to Military Times. It also seeks to bolster support networks for at-risk veterans and requires VA officials to reach out to veterans every few years to ensure they are aware of benefits and health care options.

“It’s been a remarkable journey to get to this point, and I look forward to seeing the critical efforts laid out in this legislation to help our nation’s heroes get the right care at the right time for their mental health conditions,” said Matt Kuntz, executive director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness Montana, in a statement.

This article originally appeared on Coffee or Die. Follow @CoffeeOrDieMag on Twitter.


MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

This year’s ‘Best Warrior’ tests will be based on actual combat incidents

New events for this year’s Best Warrior Competition will come from the experiences of operational advisors deployed around the world by the Asymmetric Warfare Group, the lead organizer said Sept. 25, 2019.

The competition will take place Oct. 6-11, 2019, at Forts Lee and A.P. Hill, Virginia, with 22 competitors from the Army’s major commands and components vying for Soldier of the Year and NCO of the Year. Winners will be announced at the Association of the U.S. Army’s Annual Meeting and Exposition in Washington, D.C., Oct. 14, 2019.

A small Asymmetric Warfare Group detachment at Fort A.P. Hill has been preparing for the competition since February 2019 under the leadership of 1st Sgt. Hunter Conrad.


Conrad served as an AWG operational advisor for three years, undergoing half a dozen deployments to nations such as Senegal, Uganda, Somalia and Tunisia. He also served for a year on AWG’s Leadership Development Troop, teaching brigade combat teams how to operate in a subterranean environment.

The competition’s events, though, don’t just come from his experiences; they’re based on real-world situations observed by operational advisors across all combatant commands, he said.

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day

Spc. Hunter Olson, Maryland National Guard, dominates a water survival event involving a 100-meter swim in full uniform at the 2019 Region II Best Warrior Competition.

(Photo by aj. Kurt M. Rauschenberg)

“It’s been a team effort,” Conrad said, and that doesn’t just stop with the preparations. A team of about 15 soldiers from First U.S. Army at Rock Island Arsenal, Illinois, will be joining his detachment to conduct the competition.

Another 20 or so soldiers from AWG at Fort Meade, Maryland, will be going to A.P. Hill to help run the competition, he said, and a handful from the Army Medical Command will also be there.

Sgt. Maj. of the Army Michael A. Grinston went to Fort A.P. Hill September 2019 for a validation and mission rehearsal of the competition. He made minor course corrections, Conrad said, based on his preference for enhanced, realistic training.

“The Best Warrior Competition is the essence of what we want to accomplish,” Grinston said. “We want to enhance Army readiness by building cohesive teams who are highly trained, disciplined and physically fit. Cohesive teams are the key to winning on any battlefield.”​

In order to enhance the realism, Conrad spent hours studying after-action reports that describe recent incidents around the world that tested the combat proficiency of soldiers. Many of those incidents will be re-created for the competition.

The competition actually begins at Fort Lee with the new Army Combat Fitness Test. Then competitors depart for the operational phase of Best Warrior at Fort A.P. Hill. There they will be tested on various soldier skills as part of a fictional combatant command scenario, Conrad said.

Every year, different skill level 1 tasks are tested, he said, in order to keep competitors guessing. They don’t know ahead of time what skills will be assessed, or in what order, so Conrad said they must be proficient in all of them.

Competitors won’t be able to “just memorize the sequence of events and perform them in a sterile environment,” like they do in warrior task testing lanes at many units, he said.

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day

Spc. Collin George, U.S. Army Reserve Soldier of the Year, reassebles an M240B machine gun with his eyes covered during a crew-served weapons class at Fort McCoy, Wisconsin, Aug. 14, 2019.

(Photo by Sgt. Kevin Long)

“We actually try to place them in a real-world scenario and grade them on their ability to execute the same tasks in a more stressful, realistically-simulated environment,” he said.

Last year the operational phase of the competition began with a ruck march in the dark carrying 50 pounds of gear. The initial event will be different this year, but Conrad added competitors “can expect to exert themselves physically.”

Additionally, Grinston noted, as the Army continues to study ways to enhance readiness, it must better understand biomechanics and cognitive performance to quantify soldier lethality.

“We need to establish a baseline for soldier performance through the Soldier Performance Model,” he said. “We have a team who will place sensors on each competitor to measure everything from stress and fatigue, to how their bodies process nutrition during the competition.”

“This will help us collect data to evaluate the impact of those factors, and others, on soldiers, and what we can do to help them perform better,” Grinston said.

Last year, Cpl. Matthew Hagensick from the 3rd Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment at Fort Benning, Georgia, earned the Soldier of the Year title. Sgt. 1st Class Sean Acosta, a civil affairs specialist with the 1st Special Warfare Training Group at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, became NCO of the Year.

This article originally appeared on United States Army. Follow @USArmy on Twitter.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

New ‘No Time To Die’ trailer looks like the best James Bond movie yet

The next James Bond movie and Daniel Craig’s last in the role looks like it’s easily going to the best of his movies as 007. And based on the second trailer for No Time To Die, it’s possible this could be the best Bond movie ever. The second trailer for No Time To Die finds Bond teaming-up with a new “double-0” agent, and seemingly allying himself with an old baddie. Most of all though, this looks exactly the kind of escapist action we want from James Bond right now, complete with a jolt or the franchise: moving beyond being just about James.

Following the events of Spectre (2015), this movie seems to be about James Bond coming out of retirement after having lived happily and quietly with Madeline Swan (Léa Seydoux) for a little while. And as we know in the previous trailer (released much earlier in 2020), Swan will have some kind of secret past that puts her at odds with Bond. Is she a secret spy? Someone being controlled by another baddie, like Vesper was in Casino Royale? Is there actually any new plot ideas here? Well, maybe not, but that doesn’t mean the movie doesn’t look awesome. Here’s the new trailer, courtesy of the official 007 Twitter.


Twitter

twitter.com

There are still a few mysteries here, and if we’re being fair, one element that seems to be taking the 007 franchise in a very new direction. We’ve known for a while that Lashana Lynch would be playing a new agent working for MI-6, but some rumors suggest she’s actually the new 007 because after he retired, Bond’s number was given to someone else. In the new trailer, Bond says “I’ve met your new double-o,” referring to Lynch’s new character. It’s also clear that at some point in the movie these two will be teamed-up, which strongly suggests that Lynch will become a new 007 in her own spin-off movies. The Bond franchise floated this idea once before when Halle Berry played the CIA agent Jinx in the 2002 movie Die Another Day, but a Jinx standalone movie never actually happened. James Bond will always be a man, according to series producer Barbara Broccoli, but that doesn’t mean a new 007 can’t be a Black woman.

It’s also not clear if Rami Malek’s new character is secretly Dr. No in disguise, though Madaline Swan calls him by a different name, assuming she’s talking about the same person. As for the rest of the cast, everyone from the Craig Bond-era is back, including Jefferey Wright as Felix Leiter, Ralph Fiennes as “M”, Naomie Harris as Moneypenny, and Ben Winshaw as “Q.” This movie is also a reunion of sorts between Ana de Armas and Daniel Craig, who both starred in Knives Out. In fact, just like in Knives Out, it looks like these two are also teaming up! Finally, Christoph Waltz is back as Blofeld, and he implies that he and Bond are now fighting “a common enemy.”

With classic car chases, slick Bond action, it’s possible that No Time To Die could become the Bond movie to rule them all, and a perfect way to close out Daniel Craig’s run as 007.

The new trailer says that No Time To Die will be in cinemas in November. Previously, the release date was pushed back from its first release date in April. Right now, it seems like MGM is pretty serious about this release date. So…we’ll see!

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.


MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

Dear Military Spouse: Here’s why we appreciate you

Military.com | By Jacey Eckhart

I’ve met two or three military spouses in my time who could not be appreciated enough around the clock, much less on Military Spouse Appreciation Day. I had the feeling I could put diamond tiaras on their heads and roll up a red, white and blue Corvette convertible to take them home and they would sniff, “Is this all?”

This note is not for them. This note is for you.

This note is for all of us who would do just about anything for our service member, but feel a little wary of a day set aside by the president as Military Spouse Appreciation Day.

To us, the stuff other people want to honor seems like normal life.

Just this once, let someone mark Military Spouse Appreciation Day and your everyday awesomeness, would you?Advertisement

We appreciate your ability to hope.

This year a military spouse reminded me that when it comes to military life, hope is not about everything turning out OK. It is about being OK no matter how things turn out.

No matter what you are struggling with (and you’ve shown us that everyone has something) we see you holding onto the kind of optimism that allows you to keep trying. That not only makes all the difference in the world for your family, and keeps us moving forward, too.

We appreciate your vision of your family.

I bet you carry this magical vision of your own family in your head.

You see the way you used to be when you were young and in love and thought you could handle anything the military demanded. You see the way you are now juggling more than a dozen years of war.

Yet you still dare to envision a future for your family where everything turns out OK. Where the kids all go to college. Where the right job opens up for you. Where your service member leaves the military and finds new work that satisfies. You are the transition plan the whole country is counting upon.

We appreciate your help blindness.

No one will offer help quicker than a military spouse. If we see someone struggling with a stroller or a couple of screaming toddlers or the three-day flu, we are the first to offer help.

Somehow, when we are the ones with the three-day flu, we become help blind. We cannot possibly think of anyone we could ask for help. While we appreciate this trait so many of us share, we really gotta realize that the help highway goes in both directions.

We appreciate your social courage.

When you are a military spouse, you are always the new kid. It is part of the territory.

But you know from experience that everyone is a stranger only once. We so appreciate your ability to boldly go up to a stranger, introduce yourself and start talking. And if you are the kind of military spouse who doesn’t approach strangers, we really appreciate it if you smile when we talk to you first. Woo boy.

We appreciate your lists.

“I don’t know how you do what you do!” might be the most annoying phrase spouses hear in the course of a day. It seems to imply that somehow we were stupid to take on a military marriage.

But we really appreciate the way you do what you have to do. It’s too much for any one person to do. Yet you do the ‘too much.’

You deal with what is on your plate. You use your constant lists to keep track of what has to be fixed and what has to be done and what has to be turned in and what has to be paid for. You control the uncontrollable. Prodigious.

We appreciate your idea of sexy.

Hate to tell you this, but not everyone thinks of combat boots as sexy. They don’t look at someone in cammies or khakis and think, va-va-va-voom. Strangely, you do. And you keep thinking that no matter how long you are together. MarinesArmyNavyAir ForceCoast Guard — the uniform doesn’t matter. The person inside does.

We appreciate it when you show up in person.

So often we hear from writers who participate in conferences and balls and holiday parties and command picnics because it is “expected.”

You know the command can’t demand you show up (cuz you don’t work for them). But you let yourself have the wisdom of understanding that often the presence of a real person makes all the difference in the world. Thanks for that.

And if you got the job because you showed up at the event, good on ya. You deserve it.

We appreciate your ability to create normal.

Even if your life is decidedly not normal, military spouses have a way of creating normalcy no matter how they are living.

No matter where they live or how crazy their service member’s schedule might be, they create rituals around mealtime and bedtime and holidays that make kids feel safe. They set up their household goods and make homes in the plainest places in the world. They become someone worth coming home to.

We appreciate your indignation.

When it comes to your own benefits, spouses like you can be a little complacent. Put it on the list and you will deal with it later.

But don’t let anyone give your service member less than what they earned with their own blood, sweat and tears shed for this country.

Insult a service member and expect to deal with the kind of political outrage only a military spouse can muster.

Most of all, on national Military Spouse Appreciation Day, we appreciate your uniqueness.

As you continually remind us, there is no such thing as a “typical” spouse. This is a community in which not fitting in IS, in fact, fitting in.

Spouses come in an infinite variety. We usually have only one thing in common — that we love someone in uniform and that we would sacrifice what we want in order to make sure they have what they need.

It’s a life. It’s our life. And on Military Spouse Appreciation Day, we love that we get to share it with you.

Keep Up with the Ins and Outs of Military Life

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MIGHTY CULTURE

Alone time is the key to staying married. Find it.

The COVID-19 pandemic hasn’t just stretched us thin; it’s made us damn near translucent. The majority of parents are balancing a bigger burden than they ever have before. Scheduling. Schooling. Social distancing. Masking up. Working from Home. All with little or extremely reduced access to childcare or the older family members who once pitched in. Gone, too, are ways to find alone time. We are all cooped up, unable to do the activities that once brought us balance. Time apart is crucial to a marriage. Absence does, in fact, make the heart grow fonder. But how can partners ask for alone time without it ending in resentment or anger?

If you went to a couples’ therapist today and told them, “I need some time to myself,” chances are, they would agree. “Some couples thrive on being together all the time, but most are struggling at least a little right now,” says Carol Bruess, PhD, professor emeritus of family studies at the University of St. Thomas and author of What Happy Couples Do. “We don’t have models for [living like] this. We are not taught how to do it.”


More importantly, time apart from our partners is essential for our health — and the health of our relationships. So, if you feel even the slightest hint of guilt about your itch for a few hours of fishing on the lake in solitude — don’t. You may even find that by bringing up the topic, your spouse is equally eager for time alone after all these months at home.

Healthy relationships are healthiest when there’s constant push and pull between autonomy and connection, Bruess explains. “Living in the same space with someone 24/7 tends to send this dynamic into a place of significant disequilibrium. It’s out of whack,” she says. “You have too much togetherness without enough autonomy.”

Right now, too much togetherness is the norm. And it’s not just the fact that the bathroom is your only place to get away. We’ve also lost our rituals and routines and had to establish a whole new set of “rules” about who works where, who’s quiet when, who’s cooking breakfast, and who’s teaching the kids what. Add the stress of worrying about loved ones’ health, possibly losing a job, and everything else and it only exacerbates the tension.

“We bring those [outside] stressors into our relationship, and it disintegrates our ability to be our best self in the relationship,” Bruess says. With all of these challenges, no wonder you may sense an overall increase in conflict, irritation, or anxiety between you and your partner and find yourself arguing over minuscule things like how to load the dishwasher.

True time apart could help rebalance your autonomy-connection dynamic and benefit both your relationship and the two of you as individuals. The answer is simple: It gives you a chance to “recharge,” says psychotherapist Joseph Zagame, LCSW-R, founder and director of myTherapyNYC. When you come back together, you’ll have more to offer emotionally, mentally, and physically. Additionally, that space can make our partners more attracted to us. “When you have some level of distance and come back together, you see each other in a new way and may even desire each other more,” Zagame says.

Still, knowing the benefits doesn’t necessary relieve any guilt you may feel about wanting to go over to your friend’s house for beers on the patio once a week. If that’s the case, it’s important to remember that this is not only about you — it’s about your relationship as a whole, Zagame says.

Communicating about a need for space can be tricky. It can easily be read as a slight or add to already built-up resentment. Bruess recommends first identifying and telling your partner exactly what you are feeling and what you need. For example, “I’m feeling a little overstimulated. We are both here all day, working and taking care of the kids, and the dog is running around, and I’m realizing one thing I need is to find 30 minutes of alone time.” Include how this will benefit your relationship to have this time, such as that you’ll be less stressed and more likely to pause and think rather than simply react.

Next, Bruess suggests inviting your partner to problem solve with you so you can find that solo time. Even if the solution is taking an hour every night to read in one room while your partner watches TV in another while the kids are in bed, it can have a positive effect. Just be sure to set some boundaries: “I need no interruptions, not even a knock on the door. Here’s why…”

This may seem like a lot, but explaining your need and asking for your partner’s assistance can help head off any possible defensiveness from them, Bruess explains. “You are literally inviting them into your heart, as opposed to, ‘The house is noisy, I need time away,” which distances you emotionally and creates the opportunity for defensiveness in the other person,” she says.

After you discuss your time alone, don’t forget to ask if there’s anything your partner needs right now. “You may be surprised to hear they want their space too,” Zagame says. “It doesn’t mean that you are struggling or don’t love each other.” Encourage them to do the things they love and retain those friendships that you know make them thrive.

“Marriage is not about becoming one. We are interdependent. Together we create something bigger and different than our individual parts,” Bruess says. “And in a great partnership, it’s essential that each person is developing and sustaining parts of themselves. We should want to encourage the flourishing of the other person’s passions and interests.”

Making sure both of you get some time away — whatever that looks like — will keep you both happier and support your relationship even after you’re no longer together nonstop.

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.

MIGHTY TRENDING

Harry Humphries is a Hollywood legend. But did you know he was a Navy SEAL?


WATM: Tell me about your family and your life growing up?

Born in New Jersey and raised on the Jersey Shore. The Atlantic Ocean was my playground where I became skilled in most things aquatic. Under the tutelage of strong family leadership, specifically from my grandparents, the concept of Love of nation, Pride of Family and God was deeply instilled in my psyche.

This was during and shortly after World War Two, as with most Americans, my pride of country was deeply instilled. My four uncles fought in Europe — all came home safely….naturally, at this early age in my life I knew I would serve as well.

WATM: What is the most distinct memory of your mother and your father?

My parental experiences resulting from their divorce was a split upbringing for my sister and myself. Actually, our grandparents filled that role, however, that is not to say that my mother wasn’t a wonderful mom, a very strong woman, and extremely supportive of me through my mistakes and successes. Her remarriage was a blessing, as my stepfather became my first athletic coach and as a former college athlete and 101st Airborne Master Sergeant who made all five combat jumps in Europe became my mentor. Fairness on the athletic field and a pursuit of excellence in athletics was deeply ingrained in me as a result.

WATM: What values were stressed at home?

Faith, pride in self and pride in family, a strong sense of determination, tenacity, whatever you start finish, if it gets dark look towards your faith and most importantly, never quitting and finishing what was started.

WATM: What influenced you to join the US Navy and SEALs, what was your experience and what lessons did you take away from your service?

I joined the Naval Reserve as a Prep School senior, 1st classman at Admiral Farragut Academy in Pine Beach, New Jersey. My goal was to attend the Naval Academy, the reserve program at Farragut guaranteed an appointment, however the goal was not to be achieved. After attending Rutgers and Monmouth College for a few years, my reserve unit was called to active duty. I chose to serve out my two-year active obligation at that time which ultimately led to me extending several years in order to get Underwater Demolition Training UDT/R at Little Creek VA. Class 29 where I graduated as class Honor Man. Clearly my most treasured achievement.

I received orders to Underwater Demolition Team 22, UDT 22, where I made several Platoon deployments to the Caribbean after which a billet became available for an enlisted slot in the new command, SEAL TEAM 2. Again, another excellent achievement which changed my life. Reporting aboard was an experience I shall never forget, the quality of personnel, professionalism, all the attributes of becoming part of this outstanding organization was life changing to me.

The early days of the SEAL program were extremely secretive, not as publicized as today’s teams. One didn’t volunteer to punch a ticket and get out. The incentive was to operate with personnel at a level of professionalism not equaled in most commands.

My period was pre, during and some post-Vietnam. Having made two tours, one with Dick Marcinko’s 8th Platoon, ST2 when we were heavily engaged in the TET Offensive of 68 operating on the Cambodian Border supporting the CHAU DOC PRU led by DREW DIX MEDAL OF HONOR recipient for these actions. The 8th Platoon performed excellently going into the city seeking, engaging with the VC. I went with DREW and a fellow SEAL, Frank Thornton into the city on a “company” vehicle armed with an M-2 HMG in the rear. Our mission was to rescue some USAID Medical Personnel who were held captive in their villa by the insurgent VC. After several intensive firefights, the mission was successful, but unfortunately we lost one of our SEALs later in the day, Ted Risher, Frank and I were with Ted on a rooftop prepping a 57 recoilless rifle position overlooking the VC Command Center when Ted took a round in the head.

After several days operating in and around Chau Doc with Drew and his PRU, the platoon was ordered back to Can Tho base. The VC had been killed, captured or melded back into the local population. The city was free.

I returned to country, assigned to MACVSOG operating as a detached SEAL working for the CIA’s Phoenix program as The PRU Advisor in CAN THO Province. I remember this assignment as a dream job, working undercover, if you will, as an enlisted guy telling O-5s and 6s how we were going to execute our battle plans. I split my 150-man team into smaller units and spread them around the province. The plan worked very well increasing our operational tempo many fold.

My last action leading my PRU team was on a VIP Capture Kill mission for a high-ranking VC Commander when I was wounded in both legs. I’m here today only because of my troops. We fought our way out of the ambush and coordinated an air assault on the VC forces covered in a tree line. The UH-1 “POP POP” sounds are truly magnificent to hear, and the sight of WP rockets (no longer in the inventory) hitting as directed is beautiful to see in such times as these.

I eventually wound up in YOKOSUKA Naval Hospital recovering from leg wounds. It was during this time I spent weeks in a ward filled with young Marines ages 18 to 21ish. Mostly amputees. As the senior enlisted guy on the floor, I became their Gunny, sometimes maintaining discipline, sometimes feeding those who had no limbs to feed themselves, sometimes coaching those who needed a prod to get up and rehab their abilities to walk. Truth be told here; it was them who gave me the drive to get up and walk from bed to bed initially until I was able to get around to help them.

The lessons I learned here are immense but simply put, all warriors have a mutual respect for one another. I swore I would never forget these troops, a memory which has instilled a burning passion in me to help my fellow veterans, a passion which lives on to this day.

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day
Dick Marcinko (left) and Harry Humphries (right) in Vietnam, 1968. Photo credit unknown.

WATM: What values have you carried over from the SEALs into advising and producing?

Whether factual or fantasy, the characters playing military or law enforcement rolls must be as realistic as possible, we owe that to them.

I see my role as the reality conscience of the Writer, Director, Producer and HODs. Then on to the training of talent enabling them to appropriately play a role in many cases totally unfamiliar to them.

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day
A shot of the SEAL Team (actors and real SEALs) in The Rock. Photo credit IMDB.com.

WATM: What is the most fulfilling project you have done and why?

Without hesitation I can say that BLACK HAWK DOWN was my thesis as an advisor and Co-Producer. My role entailed acquisition of period correct Equipment; Weapons, and to some extent Costume, assisting the departments in accuracy as pertained to their areas. My role as liaisons to DOD was immense. Jerry Bruckheimer and Ridley wanted the training to be as realistic as possible, once we had DOD’s Production Assist Agreement in place all specific training was provided by USASOC components, the commands being portrayed; the 75th Ranger Regiment provided a gentlemen’s RIP program, the 1st Special Forces Operational Detachment DELTA actors were trained at Bragg blowing and kicking doors, etc. the 160th SOAR provided UH-60 training on the simulators at FT. Campbell, etc.

USASOC stood up a detachment of Rangers, 160th Black Hawks and Little Birds, AIRSOC provided transport of all personnel and equipment to Morocco. A remarkable support effort, probably never to be repeated.

Most importantly, I was blessed to have Colonels Tom Mathews (OIC of the 160th element in Mogadishu) and Lee Van Arsdale, ( the C Squadron Commander of the CAG unit). As part of the Military department with me.

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day
Bruce Willis, Paul Francis, Cole Hauser, Johnny Messner, and Eamonn Walker in Tears of the Sun. Photo credit IMDB.com
3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day
Taylor Kitsch, Mark Wahlberg, Ben Foster and Emile Hirsch in Lone Survivor. Photo credit IMDB.com
3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day
David Denman, John Krasinski, Pablo Schreiber and Dominic Fumusa in 13 Hours. Photo credit IMDB.com.
3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day
Thad Luckinbill, Chris Hemsworth and Navid Negahban in 12 Strong. Photo credit IMDB.com.

WATM: What was your experience like in working with such talents as Ridley Scott, Michael Bay, Antoine Fuqua, Tony Scott and Dominic Sena on projects like The Rock, Con Air, Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, Gone in 60 Seconds, Tears of the Sun, GI Jane, Bad Boys 2 and the like?

This is a tough question, all you mention have been great to have worked with. I’d have to say my projects with Ridley Scott all were excellent experiences. Ridley is without question one of the finest gentlemen I have ever known. As a director, few can compare with his talent, to call him friend is a blessing.

Mike Bay is a loyal friend, working with Mike is like an uncle/nephew experience. I understand and respect his drive for excellence, he truly stands out as a master of the work he does in the action genre. Not only is he truly a friend but also the guy who has worked me the most throughout our careers.

Working with Mike, thanks to Jerry Bruckheimer, on The Rock stands out to be more than just my first project but has to be the most enjoyable yet to be surpassed. Additionally, 13 HOURS stands out to me as my second favorite film. It tells an action story that had to be told accurately.

My projects with Tony Scott stand out in my mind as another exceptional talent and friend, may he rest in peace. We truly lost a great one with him leaving us.

Pete Berg, another friend for life. Working with Pete has always been a pleasure. His work on Lone Survivor was outstanding. I was proud to have played a small role in that project as military Liaison, consultant and Co Producer. Pete is the only director I’ve worked with who shoots as fast as Mike Bay, a joy to watch.

Antoine Fuqua, another artist in his field was also a pleasure to work with on Tears of the Sun. Working with Bruce Willis, we had an outstanding time both shooting and training. Hawaii locations weren’t shabby either.

Most recently Kevin Kent, (my #2 and SEAL war hero) and I had the pleasure of working with SPIKE LEE on DA 5 BLOODS, in retrospect, a Vietnam War period film. Spike was the consummate professional knowing what he wanted and how to get it. The recent loss of Chadwick Boseman, the lead, was a shock to us all. His athletic performance always at top speed was no indication of his condition. An excellent actor, another loss to the world.

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day
Mike Moriarty, Harry Humphries and Kevin Kent on set, 13 HOURS. Photo credit IMDB.com

WATM: What leadership lessons in life and from the SEALs have helped you most in your career?

The most important element of leadership is to create a team and to love the members of that team. The rest will follow if you do that right. Without the team there is no success.

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day
Bruce Willis and Harry Humphries on (HS TRUMAN CVN 75) set for Tears of the Sun. Photo credit Wikipedia.

WATM: As a veteran, how do we get more veteran stories told in Hollywood?

Veterans in Media and Entertainment is probably the best source of veterans in the industry. I did a talk with them several years back. Since The Rock I have put over a 100 SEALs, Marines and Rangers as special skills extras or talent in films and projects. I have been able to help a bunch of veterans in the industry.

WATM: What are you most proud of in life and your career?

My greatest pride resides in assisting veterans as with the VETNET program with Jerri Rosen, who started Working Wardrobes in Orange County offering dress clothing and job training for people who couldn’t afford them. Many veterans were coming through Working Wardrobes for suits and/or dress clothes for work and interviews, so VETNET was created to focus more directly on veterans.

Many of the California veterans are poverty stricken or homeless where they need help restarting in the civilian world. With VETNET we help them write resumes and get prepared for job interviews. We focus on the transitioning veterans as well as those that have come upon hard landings. The core of our program stresses that Veterans having fallen on hard times need to remember who they are and where they came from. It is imperative they believe that and then the pride in self returns. It makes no difference if you came from a high-speed combat unit or support. We all took the same oath essentially offering our lives to support and defend The Constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic…..

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day
Jerri Rosen, Harry Humphries and the Plank Owners of the VETNET team. Photo credit Harry Humphries.
MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

4 ways the military prepared me to homeschool

Our family is discovering a new adventure as the pandemic continues and a normal school year is not on the horizon. I never, ever planned to be a homeschool mom. But when the pandemic hit and my boys were home each day, I realized how much I enjoyed their company and oddly how much I missed them each day they went to school. And while it requires a lot of flexibility to continue running my business, I know that homeschooling is the best option for our family. As a family, we have learned a lot about the advantages of homeschooling. And I’m quickly realizing my past life as an Air Force Officer is playing into my strengths when it comes to homeschooling. Here are a few ways the military prepared me to be a homeschool mom.


Moving forward with confidence

The military teaches you to make a choice and move forward. When our school district came out with the options for the upcoming school year, the options laid forward by the district didn’t feel like the right choice for our family. So, my husband and I decided to start looking into homeschooling. The more research we did the more confident we were in the choice to homeschool. Now that school is starting all over the country, I realize homeschooling was the best option for our family and I am thankful we made this choice months ago. I did the research, made a choice and am now moving forward with confidence. Just like the military trained me to do.

Know the Objectives, Create a Mission Plan

When people hear I am homeschooling they often ask what curriculum I am using. My answer: I’m not. I have done enough research on the standards that my boys need to meet by the end of the school year and am working to create tools we need to get there. I guess I have always been part of the unschooled philosophy and find lesson plans too restrictive. We have a schedule and a plan for each week, the military trained me for that too, but I also know where we need to go and don’t need any one person to tell me how to get there. My military background has me focused on the mission and I even have created waypoints throughout the school year to help access where we are, where we are going and I am ready to make adjustments along the way.

Delegate when necessary

While I’m really excited about teaching math and science, oddly enough, even though my job is to write, I don’t feel confident in teaching my son how to read. He is entering second grade and is behind in reading. Most of the homework around reading last year was filled with frustration on both my son’s and my part. So, my husband and I decided to delegate this responsibility. My husband and I did our research and we have started using the Easy Read System. It is a program that helps my son while I work along with him. It is a team effort and the best part? There is no yelling or frustration. It is actually fun, for both of us. He is making progress with reading and writing with this tool and I am excited to see what he learns over the next few months.

We also have been long time subscribers to Kiwi Co Science Crates. Each month we get a new Kiwi Crate for both my seven and four year olds. In the past, we focused on the activity and often didn’t dive into the extra resources provided. But now we are planning to not only enjoy the project that comes each month, but use the additional resources for science learning.

We are also relying on our Disney+ subscription, but not to watch Mickey Mouse. Both our boys also have a love of animals so we have been using Disney+ Natural Geographic Channel to learn about different animals each week. We also are big fans of PBS Kids, Khan Academy Kids and Sesame Street’s Alphabet Kitchen.

Think outside the box

I’m also planning lessons throughout the year for things I have always wanted to do and never have had the time to do. We are planning to use Truth in the Tinsel’s Advent calendar and crafts for the Christmas season. We already planted pumpkins in the Spring and have been using them to learn about how things grow throughout the summer. And we are planning to plant a garden in the Spring. We use the kitchen to expand our classroom by creating yummy treats like Taffy and Blueberry Pie.

Almost every question my boys ask can turn into a classroom adventure. And as long as we stay focused on the standards set by the school, we are finding a lot of flexibility in our home classroom.

Yes, the military training even applies to homeschooling and oddly enough it isn’t as rigid as I expected. What does your school year plan look like? What tools from your life experience are you using to help get through this unsettling time?

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

Ramped-up counternarcotics op has denied drug traffickers $2.5 billion, Navy says

Ordinarily, patrolling the waters near Central and South America for drug traffickers is a job largely left to the U.S. Coast Guard. But since April 1 of this year, the U.S. Navy has surged assets to the region to assist with the mission — and helped reel in more than $2.5 billion worth of contraband to date.

The operation has gotten presidential attention and is ongoing, with the Navy destroyer Pinckney publicizing a recent major bust this week. The Pinckney, homeported in San Diego, executed a seizure with an embarked Coast Guard law enforcement detachment July 24, seizing more than 120 kilograms, or 265 pounds, of suspected cocaine from a single ship. In total, the haul was worth some $4.5 million.


“While on routine patrol, approximately 200 nautical miles southwest of Jamaica, a helicopter assigned to the ‘Wolf Pack’ of Helicopter Maritime Strike Squadron 75 located the vessel and Pinckney soon arrived on scene,” Navy officials said in a release. “After coordination with the Government of Colombia and Colombian Navy, the vessel was searched and six suspected drug smugglers detained. The mariners are now in Government of Colombia custody.”

The crew of the Pinckney also secured medical evacuation for one detainee for whom treatment was deemed necessary for survival.

Heads of U.S. Southern Command have long expressed their wish for more U.S. Navy assets in the region to stop a drug trade tied to tens of thousands of U.S. deaths every year. Under the enhanced counternarcotics mission, those ships and aircraft are in place, at least for now.

Top officials say the billion drug trade, which thrives in unstable regions, has taken advantage of the added instability of the global COVID-19 pandemic.

“Since the end of March, we have employed, in the U.S. Southern Command Area of Responsibility, 75% more surveillance aircraft and 65% more ships than normal for drug interdiction,” Defense Secretary Mark Esper said in a July 10 news conference from Doral, Florida. “These additional assets include four Navy destroyers, five Coast Guard cutters, and eight aircraft. Currently, nearly a dozen Navy and Coast Guard ships and over 15 aircraft from across the interagency are supporting our efforts, in addition to security forces deployed to the region.”

A spokeswoman for the U.S. Navy’s 4th Fleet, Cmdr. Katherine Meadows, said in a statement to Military.com that additional Defense Department capabilities added in the ramp-up include a continuous rotation of Navy destroyers and MH-60 Seahawk helicopters; Navy littoral combat ships; P-8 Poseidon maritime patrol aircraft; Air Force E-3 AWAC and E-8 JSTARS aircraft for reconnaissance; and an Army Security Forces Assistance Brigade company for advisory support. The Coast Guard has also increased its cutter and helicopter presence, and 22 partner nations have aided the effort.

“All of our ships have an embarked [Coast Guard] Law Enforcement Detachment onboard,” Meadows said. “The Navy supports the detection, while the Coast Guard has the authorities to seize narcotics and detain illicit trafficking suspects.”

To date, she said, the Navy has participated in the seizure of 16,396 kilograms of cocaine — more than 36,000 pounds — and 16,601 marijuana. The overall enhanced mission has “disrupted or seized” more than 38,000 pounds of marijuana and more than 98 metric tons of cocaine, she said.

“The operation has denied transnational criminal organizations more than .5 billion in criminal profits from the smuggling of narcotics that kill thousands of people every year and cause substantial human suffering in the U.S. and around the world,” she added.

That’s up from under billion on July 10.

Meadows did not provide comparison figures for the same period last year, but Esper said the U.S. military had been able to increase targeting of known drug operations by 60%. And at the Doral news conference, SOUTHCOM Commander Adm. Craig Faller said drug “disruptions” had increased by 15%.

“And 60 percent more targeting is a big deal for us because that means we can put more assets on more targets. And the enemy has seen that,” Faller said. “We’ve gotten information from our intelligence agencies that says the enemy has watched that and they’re waiting, and they’re stockpiling and they’re trying to change their tactics.”

This article originally appeared on Military.com. Follow @militarydotcom on Twitter.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

MilSpouse and NASA’s last living ‘Hidden Figure,’ Katherine Johnson, dies at 101

NASA legend, mathematician, race barrier breaker, women’s rights advancer, mother, military spouse: Katherine Johnson was truly out of this world. The once in a generation mind passed away at age 101 on February 24, NASA announced.

We’re saddened by the passing of celebrated #HiddenFigures mathematician Katherine Johnson. Today, we celebrate her 101 years of life and honor her legacy of excellence that broke down racial and social barriers: https://go.nasa.gov/2SUMtN2 pic.twitter.com/dGiGmEVvAW

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Johnson was born in 1918 in White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia. From an early age, she demonstrated a love of counting and numbers far beyond her peers and well beyond her years. By age 10, Johnson was already through her grade school curriculum and enrolled in high school, which she finished at 14. She enrolled in West Virginia State College at only age 15 and started pursuing her love of math.

According to NASA, while at WVSC, Johnson had the opportunity to study under well known professor Dr. William W. Schiefflin Claytor. Claytor guided Johnson in her career path, once telling her, “You’d make a great research mathematician.” He also provided her guidance with how to become one. In an interview with NASA, Johnson recalled, “Many professors tell you that you’d be good at this or that, but they don’t always help you with that career path. Professor Claytor made sure I was prepared to be a research mathematician.” Claytor’s spirit of mentorship was something that Johnson paid forward. “Claytor was a young professor himself,” she said, “and he would walk into the room, put his hand in his pocket, and take some chalk out, and continue yesterday’s lesson. But sometimes I could see that others in the class did not understand what he was teaching. So I would ask questions to help them. He’d tell me that I should know the answer, and I finally had to tell him that I did know the answer, but the other students did not. I could tell.”

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day

upload.wikimedia.org

Johnson became the first black woman to attend West Virginia University’s graduate school. Following graduation, she became a school teacher, settled down and married. She spent many years at home with her three daughters, but when her husband became ill, she began teaching again. In the early 1950s, a family friend told Johnson that NACA (the predecessor to NASA) was hiring. According to NASA, the National Advisory Committee for Aeronautics were specifically looking for African-American females to work as “computers” in what was then their Guidance and Navigation Department. In the 1950s, pools of women at NACA did calculations that the engineers needed worked or verified.

Johnson applied but the openings were already filled. The following year, she applied again, and this time she was offered two contracts. She took the one as a researcher. She started working at NACA in 1953. In 1956, her husband died of an inoperable brain tumor. In 1959, Johnson remarried James A. Johnson, an Army captain and Korean War veteran.

Johnson was a pioneer for multiple reasons. Not only was she a working woman in the 1950s, an era during which women were generally secretaries if they worked at all, she was also a black woman. In an interview for the book “Black Women Scientists in the United States,” Johnson recalled, “We needed to be assertive as women in those days – assertive and aggressive – and the degree to which we had to be that way depended on where you were. I had to be. In the early days of NASA women were not allowed to put their names on the reports – no woman in my division had had her name on a report. I was working with Ted Skopinski and he wanted to leave and go to Houston … but Henry Pearson, our supervisor – he was not a fan of women – kept pushing him to finish the report we were working on. Finally, Ted told him, ‘Katherine should finish the report, she’s done most of the work anyway.’ So Ted left Pearson with no choice; I finished the report and my name went on it, and that was the first time a woman in our division had her name on something.”

If Johnson was intimidated, she never showed it. “The women did what they were told to do,” she explained in an interview with NASA. “They didn’t ask questions or take the task any further. I asked questions; I wanted to know why. They got used to me asking questions and being the only woman there.”

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day

NASA photo

Johnson was so well known for her capabilities, that John Glenn personally asked for her before his orbit in 1962. According to NASA, “The complexity of the orbital flight had required the construction of a worldwide communications network, linking tracking stations around the world to IBM computers in Washington, Cape Canaveral in Florida, and Bermuda. The computers had been programmed with the orbital equations that would control the trajectory of the capsule in Glenn’s Friendship 7 mission from liftoff to splashdown, but the astronauts were wary of putting their lives in the care of the electronic calculating machines, which were prone to hiccups and blackouts. As a part of the preflight checklist, Glenn asked engineers to ‘get the girl’—Johnson—to run the same numbers through the same equations that had been programmed into the computer, but by hand, on her desktop mechanical calculating machine. ‘If she says they’re good,” Katherine Johnson remembers the astronaut saying, ‘then I’m ready to go.’ Glenn’s flight was a success, and marked a turning point in the competition between the United States and the Soviet Union in space.”

Johnson was an instrumental part of the team and was the only woman to be pulled from the calculating pool room to work on other projects. One of those projects: putting a man on the moon.

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day

live.staticflickr.com

Johnson lived a remarkable life and had a prestigious career. Her awards and decorations are numerous, including the Presidential Medal of Freedom, Congressional Gold Medal, honorary doctorate from William and Mary, a facility being named after her at NASA’s Langley campus and even a Barbie made in her image. She had a fervor for learning and a love of life.

“Like what you do, and then you will do your best,” she said.

Rest in peace, Ms. Johnson.

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day
MIGHTY CULTURE

I served on the USS Theodore Roosevelt. This is what it’s really like.

When most of us join the Navy, we don’t expect to be put into positions where our lives are in danger. For sure, we know it’s a possibility; as is joining any branch of the Armed Forces, but not as probable as our USMC and Army brothers-in-arms.

But now that a sailor has fallen to the virus, it’s apparent just how potent and diverse enemy combatants can be.


I served four years on the USS Theodore Roosevelt, from 2006 to 2010. The crew aboard CVN-71 refer to their ship as The Big Stick, personifying the ship as the US’s show of force to allow us to “Walk Softly” throughout the world. My job was to safely and efficiently maintain the electrical and steam plant systems within the two powerful Nuclear Reactor plants that power and propel the ship.

We steamed everywhere from South Africa to England to the middle of nowhere deep in the Atlantic ocean. We also spent six months sending F-18 Super Hornets to Afghanistan to provide Close Air Support for ISAF forces on the ground.

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day

PHILIPPINE SEA (March 18, 2020) An F/A-18F Super Hornet, assigned to the “Black Knights” of Strike Fighter Squadron (VFA) 154, lands on the flight deck of the aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN 71) March 18, 2020. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Nicholas V. Huynh)

Sailing a warship is inherently dangerous. There are cables with thousands of volts of heart-stopping power running through them, manifolds of high-pressure steam harnessing enough force to easily cut a person in half and thousands of people carrying-out dynamic operations both above and below-deck. Not to mention the mighty (and oftentimes unpredictable) sea, rocking and listing the ship with sometimes violent and turbulent waves.

In my four years on The Big Stick I lost three fellow shipmates to these various dangers. Now that the world is fighting a new, global enemy, unconventional deaths like losing a sailor to COVID-19 are becoming a new normal for families all across the world. And now, we see that active duty military members are just as susceptible as anyone else.

3 military spouses you need to know on MilSpouse Appreciation Day

Photo courtesy of August Dannehl

Part of the allure of joining the Navy is being able to see the world. The main mission of the Navy is to bring US sovereign territory, in the form of floating cities like the Roosevelt, to any corner of the planet in just a matter of hours. This allows sailors to enjoy the perks of visiting ports in places like Cape Town, Tokyo and Da Nang. Unfortunately, now, that perk also led to the death of one of my fellow Rough Riders.

The virus likely infiltrated the ship during a port visit to Vietnam’s fifth largest city. Da Nang offered its sandy beaches and opulent hotels to provide some RR for the crew of the TR but before long, the crew was ordered back to the ship, underway early and restricted to “River City” communications (meaning no phone calls or internet access).

Back in 2008, steaming off the coast of Iran, River City was set pretty much all the time (and we hated it) but we knew it was necessary. Recently, this order meant something very serious was unfolding and the sailors aboard knew it.

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Photo courtesy of August Dannehl

When that first River City was set just weeks ago, it was hard to imagine just how serious this situation would be. No one could have predicted then that over 500 Rough Riders would test positive for the coronavirus, a Navy Captain with 30 years of military experience would be fired, a Trump-appointed official would resign and one sailor would ultimately die in the line of duty from this silent, unpredictable enemy.

Living for months at a time on a carrier out to sea, confined to extremely small and cramped spaces, living and working alongside fellow Sailors in close proximity; these truths have always been the downsides of Navy service. Now, in the age of COVID-19, they have proven deadly.

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