As a young (or less young) military spouse, you’ll have some unique experiences. We’re talking stuff with which the majority of the public will never have to deal, including:
- Frequent moves.
- Switching jobs (or careers).
- Having Uncle Sam dictate so many things about your life.
- Where you’ll live and how long you’ll be there.
And in most cases, you don’t get a say in any of it. Where you go to receive medical care is decided for you, as is your spouse’s job and so many more aspects about your life.
Also Read: Military parents call their kids brats—and it’s a badge of honor
And that’s only the logistical areas. It doesn’t even touch on the mental changes and difficulties that come from all of the above. However, it does come with some mental toughness that few can hack. After your time as a military spouse, these lessons will serve you well into the future, helping you become resilient and find success in virtually any circumstances.
It may be learning the hard way, but some of these hard-fought lessons come with being married to a military member.
How to Become Resilient
One of the first things you learn as a MilSpo is how to keep going, no matter what takes place. Plans completely change? Have to move suddenly? Given an unreal set of circumstances? Don’t fret. In the meantime, it’s time for Plan B. Write it in pencil and power through. There’s no use getting upset about what you can’t change. The only thing to do is find another way.
How to Start Over
A series of logistical changes comes with each move. There are new addresses, new utilities, new home and vehicle insurance, new schools for kids, and new tags for vehicles, often in a new state. Forwarding your mail and planning for your items to be delivered—all of this must be coordinated.
Oftentimes, it falls to the service member’s spouse. It may seem overwhelming at first, but soon you’ll turn into a well-oiled machine, marking off things as you go. This is a great way to get things done efficiently and can serve you well in other aspects of your life.
How to Talk to Anyone and Make Friends Anywhere
We get it. Not knowing anyone can be rough, especially when it’s your first go-around. But once you’ve done it a time or two, you’re easily a seasoned pro. Being a MilSpo means talking to anyone and everyone and easily starting new conversations. It means making connections all across the world. It means finding how to connect with others over shared interests or their personal talents.
How to Use Your Background
Another skill that MilSpouses learn—and often don’t even know they are using—is how to lean on their experiences in other aspects of their life, professionally and personally. The people you met throughout the years, the places you lived, the skills you acquired—all of these can be used to find success. Maybe that comes into play when you’re planning a volunteer fundraising event. Maybe it’s when you seek a promotion. Perhaps it’s when your family is finding a new house in which to live.
No matter the circumstances, you have life skills from being a MilSpo that can help you find an easier path.
How to Live Anywhere
Even if you don’t like moving, you learned how to do it and thrive. That is a key life skill. No matter the climate, access to food, and what professional opportunities were available, you adapted. Although circumstances changed (and continued to change), you figured it out. Successfully.
And you found a way to make it work. This includes life skills that simply can’t be taught. It’s learning how to be content in the status quo and find the positives in your changes. Of course, you get a choice as to where to live in post-military life. However, you now know you can live anywhere and make it work. This is a priceless piece of information, essentially meaning you won’t fail. No matter what.
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