These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY MOVIES

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch

A lot of time and effort is put into every single advertisement that the U.S. military uses to leave a good, lasting impression on the minds of potential recruits. The best ads evoke emotion, tell the viewer what they stand to gain from service, and inform them that they’ll be a welcome addition to the team.

The following ads exhibit none of those qualities.

Remember, someone in the recruiting command for each branch decided that these videos were the best way to bring those numbers up. And don’t worry, we’re not leaving anybody out — every branch managed to push out a laughably bad commercial.


U.S. Air Force — “We’ve been waiting for you”

Hey, kid! You ever just sit and stare at an incoming tornado like an idiot when someone’s yelling at you to find shelter? Well, then you’re perfect astronaut material!

I’m not saying that every advertisement needs to be upbeat and cheery (you’ll see that those fill out the rest of this list), but this commercial is basically nightmare fuel set to a depressing piano score. Also, it’s cool and all to be fascinated by extreme weather, but if you’re the type of person that walks toward the huge freakin’ tornado in your backyard… you probably won’t score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force — let alone space command.

U.S. Army — “Sucked in”

It’s been beaten to death already — we all know how terrible of a campaign “An Army of One” was. That slogan completely dispels the notion that you’re becoming a part of something bigger than yourself and promotes Blue Falconry. This ad actually predates that monstrosity.

This ad is what you’d get if someone was sucked into the TV Poltergeist-style, but instead of being pulled into some ghostly dimension, they were instead transferred to the realm of sh*tty detail. Someone thought that layering on an upbeat song was all it’d take to make us how objectively creepy it is — they were wrong.

U.S. Navy — “It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure”

When you release a commercial, you typically want to make it abundantly clear what you’re actually pushing. In this video, a bunch of sailors get their port of call in the Caribbean and enjoy themselves, doing all the fun shore-leave stuff that any ol’ tourist would do — which is a far cry from actual service.

It also doesn’t help that this ad was mocked viciously on Saturday Night Live back in 1979, where they showed sailors on a working party to the tagline of, “It’s not just a job, it’s .78 a week!”

U.S. Marine Corps — “Chess”

Oh man, speaking of misleading advertising… At least the Navy’s laughably bad ad featured some sailors. It takes a full 54 seconds of watching this commercial before you realize that it’s trying to sell you on the Marine Corps.

It’s like someone who didn’t even understand the rules of chess decided that it deserved a dark, gritty reboot. First of all, that’s not how the knight piece moves at all. It starts out fine when he moves across the board to take out the lightsaber wielding bishop but, after that, he just does what he pleases.

To be fair, that’s how most Marines would react given a chess board…

U.S. Coast Guard — “Be part of the action”

Did you know that the Coast Guard actually runs commercials every now and then? And I’ll be honest, this commercial is actually the best of the worst on this list. It takes a fair and balanced understanding of what the Coast Guard does and gives it a Miami Vice tone.

The reason that this one stands out as being the worst of the Coast Guard ads is that it finishes with the dumbest criminals in history being stopped by the dorkiest dudes to ever sign up. On the bright side, having Academy Award winning actor Louis Gossett Jr. put on a Coastie Cap at the end earns them at least a couple cool points.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Exclusive interview with former CIA operative Ben Smith and host of HISTORY’s Roswell: The First Witness

“Roswell: The First Witness” takes an unconventional look at the iconic 1947 Roswell, New Mexico crash with new evidence and a secret diary left by the first person to investigate the wreckage, Major Jesse Marcel. The investigation, led by former CIA operative Ben Smith, follows the grandchildren of Major Marcel and artifacts he left behind that may reveal what really happened at Roswell. Through the use of new advanced technologies, personal stories and expert witness interviews, the Marcel family and our decorated team of investigators hope to cement the truth about this mysterious site of intrigue once and for all.

WATM: How did you first become interested in extra-terrestrials?

I think pretty much everyone at this point is interested in UFOs, especially with the release of all the classified footage from the Navy pilots. In the 80’s and 90’s when paranormal activities had a celebrated cultural moment. It always fascinated me and when I Left the CIA I thought ‘You know what? Let me use my skills to answer some questions; what is out there? Have they been here?’ I wanted to use my skills to tackle some of those big universal questions.

WATM: During the initial coverup at Roswell the government’s official stance was that aliens do not exist. However, now the government’s stance is the opposite. What is your opinion on the government’s stance on aliens?

I personally have not had any firsthand accounts myself. I have met people who claim they have seen UFOs and they have survivor groups trying to figure out what is going. I think the universe is big enough for all kinds of intelligent life out there. I think the technical hurdles to get here are, in time for us to know about it, are difficult but not insurmountable. I wouldn’t call myself an agnostic, I would say I’m open minded. I think it is totally possible. We need hard evidence. My training as an intelligence officer instilled in me says ‘we need hard evidence; we need to validate the information of what we have.’ 

As far as the government cover up, that’s what makes the Roswell case so interesting. It was the only time in history that the government claimed it had debris of a crashed UFO. It’s pretty interesting and there was debris. They collected something in a field in New Mexico. It makes me feel like ‘well, what was it?

The government is not officially claiming that there were aliens at Roswell. Well, the government takes all kinds of stances to protect the country’s national security. Sometimes they turn out to be true and sometimes not. That’s why I’m diving right in. I worked for the government for a number of years, I know how it functions, why it functions the way that it does. I’m not totally convinced, and I don’t buy it all the time either. This is a big question I’m hoping to answer for myself as well as for the viewers. 

WATM: In the show, Major Jesse Marcel’s personal journal was discovered by his family. How did that document help in the investigation?

As a former intelligence officer, we always look for first-hand documentation. We want something from the source and in this case we have a diary that belonged to and was in the possession of Jesse Marcel Sr. when he passed. Talking to his grandchildren it came to them and they didn’t have a chance to talk to their grandfather about it before he passed. It was an enigma, when I crack it open I think, ‘There is a strong possibility that there is all kinds of information here.’

I was trained to protect information in plain sight and maybe that’s what he may be doing here. That was really the basis of our investigation. We have this new piece of evidence and let’s see where it leads us. It can change the established narrative about Rosewell and Marcel senior. Working with his family was a total privilege. They’re levelheaded, great, normal – for lack of a better word – normal people. They answered questions about their family history. 

I found out about [the diary] through a production company, a new production circulating around with potential new evidence. I thought to myself ‘well, I got to be a part of it.’ I lobbied pretty hard to get involved with HISTORY and the Marcel family it worked out and we clicked. We had the same vision, the same process information and discovery, and it turned into a successful and productive relationship.

WATM: What was your favorite behind the scenes moment while working on this project?

This whole thing has been a real trip! Getting to know the ins and outs of the UFO research community, the Marcel family, to be out in that debris field is a special experience. It really connects you to American history, world history, in a way I haven’t anticipated. I have not been to New Mexico before but to stand out in the middle of the steppe, the grazing lands of New Mexico at 5,000/6,000 feet, in the middle of January. It kind of really drives home the rugged nature, the rugged experience of cowboy life. 

These are real people who lived out here on the edge, homegrown, homey, honest and they saw something strange. To be up there and be part of the wonder was really magical for me. I really enjoyed it, I loved New Mexico. I hope this season is a success and the audience enjoys it so we can go back and keep digging. It’s really cool to be out there and be part of history.

WATM: Is there anything you would like to say to the military community?

It was really cool learning about the Marcel family’s connection to the military. Jesse Sr. retired as a colonel, his son Jesse Jr. as well, and John was a former Army mechanic. This is a family with a rich military history. They served their country, and in many ways did their duty to protect and serve. The military audience is really going to connect with some of the experience – that they experience themselves. The frustrations of national security and protecting our nation. Also, they’ll see some wonderful and strange things and connect with the Marcel’s experience.

WATM: Our readers would never forgive me if I didn’t ask, what is it like to be a CIA operative? 

Being a CIA intelligence officer you get a lot of practice dealing with nefarious, criminal, underground, terrorists, foreign intelligence and US intelligence officers to even just random US citizens. You get to hear these fantastic stories and the challenge is to sift through all the information and report it back to Washington D.C. back to the President. That’s kind of the approach I took with this investigation. This is a real lead, I‘m treating it like a real intelligence lead, where does it go? Can I make a final conclusion? That kind of approach is great for this mysterious topic. It’s been out there for so long but never had a resolution. 

That’s my goal and your audience members, many of whom work in intelligence who have a duty to report truthful information, I think they’re going to connect with this investigation.

MIGHTY HISTORY

The last surviving head of state to serve during WWII is … Queen Elizabeth II?

Queen Elizabeth II is Britain’s longest reigning monarch. However, she was breaking barriers even before the crown became hers. Elizabeth was also the first female of the Royal family to be an active duty member of the British Armed Forces. This also makes her the last surviving head of state to have served during World War II.

When Elizabeth was born in 1926, she was not destined for the throne. Her father, Albert, was the second son of King George V. It wasn’t until 1936, when Elizabeth was 10, that her world was turned upside down. It was in this year that her uncle, Edward VIII, abdicated the throne in the name of love and her father became King George VI. This made 10-year-old Elizabeth the heir presumptive.


It wasn’t until World War II that King George VI found his footing as the leader of Great Britain. During this time, despite the repeated aerial attacks by the Nazi air force, the King refused to leave London. The British government urged the queen to take her daughters to Canada, however. She refused stating, “The children won’t go without me. I won’t leave without the King. And the King will never leave.” Elizabeth and her younger sister, Margaret did end up leaving the city, though, just like thousands of other children who were evacuated at the time. The girls spent much of the war at Windsor Castle in Berkshire.

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch

HRH Princess Elizabeth (centre) with officers of the ATS Training Centre. (Wikimedia Commons)

As the war continued, Elizabeth, like many other young Britons, yearned to do her part for the cause. Her very protective parents refused to allow her to enlist. Elizabeth was head-strong though, and after a year of debate her parents relented. In early 1945, they gave the then 19-year-old Elizabeth their permission to join the Armed Forces.

In February 1945, she joined the Women’s Auxiliary Territorial Service (ATS). ATS provided key support during the war. Its members were anti-aircraft gunners, radio operators, mechanics and drivers. Elizabeth attended six weeks of auto mechanic training at Aldershot. During this training she learned how to deconstruct, repair and rebuild engines. By July of that year she had risen in the ranks from Second Subaltern to Junior Commander. For the first time, Elizabeth worked alongside her fellow Brits, and revelled in the freedom of it.

She took her ATS duties very seriously. However, the future queen repairing automobiles proved to be irresistible to the press. Her enlistment made headlines around the world as they applauded her commitment to the war effort. The Associated Press deemed her “Princess Auto Mechanic.” In 1947 Collier’s Magazine wrote, “One of her major joys was to get dirt under her nails and grease stains in her hands, and display these signs of labor to her friends.”

Elizabeth was still serving in the ATS when Germany surrendered on May 8, 1945. She and Margaret famously snuck out of Buckingham Palace to join the celebrations in London. Her military service officially ended when Japan surrendered later that same year.

Later, Elizabeth once again overcame objections from her family when she married Philip Mountbatten, a Greek-born officer in the Royal Navy, in November 1947.

Her father, King George VI, led his country through its darkest hour, but the war coupled with a life-long smoking habit left him in poor health. On February 6, 1952, King George VI died in his sleep after a long-suffering battle with lung cancer. This meant that at 25 years old, Elizabeth became Queen.

Even now in her 90s, Elizabeth maintains a love of automobiles. She can still be found behind the wheel of one of the many cars in the Royal collection. She’s also been known to jump at the chance to diagnose and repair faulty engines, just as she trained to do more than 70 years ago. She also holds on to her pride in the journey that brought her from military mechanic during World War II to the Crown.

MIGHTY MOVIES

‘Mythbusters’ Adam Savage built an ‘Iron Man’ suit that can actually fly

Adam Savage is taking fans on even more adventures in his new show, Savage Builds. In the eight-episode Discovery channel series, the Mythbusters star works with engineers to develop the craziest projects only he could dream up. In the first episode, Savage starts out strong: he creates a real-life bulletproof Iron Man suit that can fly. Yes, you read that right, it can actually fly.

In a short video detailing the episode, Savage explains that he worked with Gravity Industries’ Richard Browning to 3D print the Mark II suit, which is made of titanium. Obviously, technology has clearly come so far to allow for this to be created. “It sounds like hyperbole but I swear, if Tony Fucking Stark was not fictional and he was making an Iron Man suit right now, this is precisely how he would do it and this is the exact technology he’d be using,” says an excited Savage.


The best part? Engineers installed a jetpack and thrusters, so the suit can be lifted off the ground and actually fly. In a clip of Savage testing the flying suit, he yelps with excitement and joy, as anyone who just freaking flew off the ground a la Iron Man would.

How Adam Savage built a real Iron Man suit that flies

www.youtube.com

“I’m like a kid in a candy store,” he says to cameras prior to the test. Savage’s energy is infectious, and surely, the rest of the series will be just as thrilling.

You can stream the full episode as well as future ones on the Discovery Channel’s website.

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.

popular

5 veteran nonprofits to watch in 2020

While on active duty, service to country and others is given but once the uniform comes off it can be much harder to find meaning and impactful way to help others. Members of the organizations listed below don’t have that problem. There are many nonprofits that support active-duty, veterans and their families and we have identified five organizations that are finding new and innovative ways to help our community.


Here are 5 organizations that should be on your radar in 2020.

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch

Activities at the VFWC.

Veteran Family Wellness Center

UCLA Veteran Family Wellness Center

Located on the UCLA campus in Los Angeles, CA, the Veteran Family Wellness Center is a partnership between the UCLA Nathanson Family Resilience Center and the West Los Angeles VA Healthcare System. It offers family-focused services to all veterans and their families, no matter what, whether that means helping couples reconnect or guiding families to reach their goals as they navigate the unique situations of veteran life.

Whatever a veteran’s or family situation, they have the resources to take care of them and assist them in overcoming their circumstances, providing the tools they need to move forward. Plus, by bringing in the rest of the family—whether it’s kids who are caught up in the difficulty of transition (going from the military brat lifestyle back to civilian can be tough too!) or a spouse taking on a caregiver role—VFWC is able to create the best environment for vets and their families.

And their team is a combination of veterans and skilled counseling personnel, so they bring a unique knowledge of both difficulties veteran families can face as well as how to improve them. If you’re in the Los Angeles area, you can even request a free Lyft ride to visit the center.
These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch

Green Beret Foundation

Green Beret Foundation

Specific to the Army, the Green Beret Foundation assists the Green Beret community and its families, giving them support during transition, injury, or difficulties sustained from numerous deployments. When a Green Beret is injured, the Foundation is there to support him monetarily, physically, and emotionally, and they stay there through his recovery and beyond.

Additionally, they are there to assist their families as well, which they consider to be the foundation of the community. This ranges from supporting Gold Star families, to the wives and caregivers of surviving Green Berets, to offering scholarships to their dependents. And once a Green Beret chooses to transition from active duty, the Green Beret Foundation is there to offer personalized assistance, understanding that no two Green Berets are alike.

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch

Medal of Honor recipient Kyle White visiting with elementary school students.

Congressional Medal of Honor Foundation

Congressional Medal of Honor Foundation

The nonprofit arm of the Congressional Medal of Honor Society, the Foundation focuses on educating the American public about the meaning of the Medal: courage, sacrifice, patriotism, citizenship, integrity, and commitment. Those who receive the Medal of Honor embody these values, and the Foundation is committed to making sure those they served understand what they did to wear it.

It’s an important task for other reasons; the history surrounding the actions of Medal of Honor recipients is a significant part of American history, and the Medal of Honor Foundation works to make sure none of it is lost, capturing these stories in writing and through interviews with the recipients. They also bring recipients to speak at elementary schools, teaching the next generation of Americans about the values that the Medal represents. This captured history is then exhibited at kiosks in museums around the country so that no one has to travel too far to learn about these values and actions.

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch

A Force Blue volunteer carries a piece of coral for conservation.

Force Blue

Force Blue

On the surface, Force Blue is about helping veterans through marine conservation, but just like diving, there’s a lot more below the surface. When Special Operations vets transition out of service, they can find themselves without a purpose—their missions are over. Force Blue gives them a new mission, which creates a different sense or purpose; former combat divers can now put their toolset in that area to use in the area of underwater conservation.

A common complaint from veterans is losing their feeling of service, but Force Blue transforms service into an atmosphere of “caring, cooperation and positive change with the power to restore lives and restore the planet.” In addition, they’ve also offered response services after hurricanes. Plus, diving in paradise—their missions involve coral reefs and sea turtle populations, in locations like the Cayman Islands and the Gulf Coast—is therapeutic all by itself.

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch

The Darby Project

Darby Project

Like Green Berets, Army Rangers are a unique and tightknit community of service members, and the Darby Project—named for the first commander of the newly formed 1st Ranger Battalion in 1942, Colonel William O. Darby. The Darby Project maintains the principles that Colonel Darby established within the Battalion: high standards and discipline, which the Darby Project strives to uphold within its own services.

These services supports Rangers all the way through their transition to veteran life. Their primary focus is facilitating Rangers creating civilian lifestyles filled with hope and purpose, which they achieve through fitness programs and other events, as well as maintaining their sense of community among one another. Since a primary aspect of being an Army Ranger is leadership within the military, the Darby Project empowers Ranger veterans to lead within their communities as civilians as well.

Articles

Someone coined a term for the English spoken by military veterans

Tom Wolfe’s 1979 book “The Right Stuff” documented the United States’ postwar love affair with high-speed, high-powered aircraft, rocketry, and the test pilots who flew them. Wolfe used an interesting term to describe how military personnel and veterans speak English, “Army Creole.”


Army Creole, according to Wolfe, was a “language in which there were about ten nouns, five verbs, and one adjective.” In the book, the word “fuck” is used for all of these.

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch
Also, the movie is really good too. (Warner Bros.)

The original Army Creole as described by Wolfe was a manner of speech similar to actual creole. The term now refers to the military-veteran propensity toward including swear words as intensifiers and the sometimes overwhelming use of acronyms.

Accoring to Wolfe, no one was more proficient in Army Creole than Mercury 7 astronaut Deke Slayton, who made people cringe whenever he got near a microphone, for fear he was “going to Army Creole the nationwide TV and scorch the brains of half the people of the U.S.A.”

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch
Slayton was actually very well-spoken in front of the mic.

The unique name given to the dialect is not to be confused with Seaspeak, the official, universal language of mariners the world over. Developed in 1983, shipping experts and linguists devised a communication system, defining the rules for speaking on the ship’s radio.

In 1988, the International Maritime Organization made seaspeak official.

MIGHTY TACTICAL

Here’s how the Army introduced the Bradley

The Bradley Fighting Vehicle has been around for a long time. It’s become a mainstay of the United States Army, although it hasn’t had quite as much export success as the M1 Abrams. Still, the Bradley is much beloved by the military community.

In the early 80s, however, when the Bradley was a spry, new armored fighting vehicle, it had more than its fair share of critics.


By now, many of us are very familiar with this vehicle. There’s the M2 Bradley Infantry Fighting Vehicle (IFV) and the M3 Bradley Cavalry Fighting Vehicle (CFV). Both systems come with a 25mm Bushmaster chain gun, an M240 7.62mm machine gun, and the ability to launch the BGM-71 TOW missile.

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch

These two M3 Bradley Cavalry Fighting vehicles combined for 3,000 rounds of 25mm ammo, 24 TOW missiles, and four cavalry scouts.

(US Army photo by SGT Randall M. Yackiel)

The big difference between the IFV and the CFV is how much ammo they carry. The M2 Bradley IFV carries 900 rounds for the Bushmaster and a total of seven TOW missiles. The M3, however, carries 1,500 rounds for the chain gun and 12 TOWs. The trade-off here is in the number of grunts each vehicle can carry in addition to its three-man crew. The IFV carries up to eight additional troops while the CFV has room for two cavalry scouts.

Despite its impressive firepower, in the 1980s, the Bradley got trashed in the media. US News and World Report listed it among the “worst weapons” in the American arsenal. Others pronounced the Bradley as a coffin, “ready to burn.” Many wanted the Army to stick with the simple M113. Now, the M113 wasn’t a bad vehicle, but it lacked firepower.

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch

The latest Bradley IFVs feature many improvements, but still pack a 25mm Bushmaster and the TOW missile.

(US Army photo by Sgt. 1st Class Johancharles Van Boers)

As we all know, Desert Storm proved the Bradley had the stuff for the troops. It performed well, which quieted critics and, since then, it’s seen a number of improvements. Despite these upgrades, however, the Army has plans for a replacement.

But before the Army introduces a new vehicle, check out how the Bradley was introduced to the United States and our troops in the video below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Algpl4v9DAA

www.youtube.com

MIGHTY TRENDING

Air Force working on better nuclear missiles

The US Air Force is taking specific steps to expedite a measured, steady developmental plan for its new, next-generation Intercontinental Ballistic Missile in order to align with the more aggressive US nuclear weapons strategy outlined in the administration’s Nuclear Posture Review.

The service is already making initial technological progress on design work and “systems engineering” for a new arsenal of ICBMs to serve well into the 2070s — called Ground Based Strategic Deterrent (GBSD).

The most recent Nuclear Posture Review, released in 2018, calls for an increase in nuclear weapons applications as part of a broader deterrence strategy. The NPR calls for new low-yield, nuclear armed submarine launched ballistic missiles, among other things.


“We are taking the NPR of 2010 and turning it on its head….it included no new mission. This new NPR changes that context and calls for deploying more weapons. Let’s get things done, execute on time,” Gen. Timothy Ray, Commander of Air Force Global Strike Command, told reporters at the Air Force Association Convention.

The Air Force plans to fire off new prototype ICBMs in the early 2020s as part of a long-range plan to engineer and deploy next-generation nuclear armed intercontinental ballistic missiles by the late 2020s – by building weapons with improved range, durability, targeting technology, and overall lethality, service officials said

“The sum total of what we are doing is a very significant broad enterprise, which reflects the renewed interest,” Ray said.

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch

(Northrop Grumman photo)

Northrop Grumman and Boeing teams were awarded Technology Maturation and Risk Reduction deals from the Air Force in 2017 as part of a longer-term developmental trajectory aimed at developing, testing, firing, and ultimately deploying new ICBMs.

Following an initial 3-year developmental phase, the Air Force plans an Engineering and Manufacturing Development phase and eventual deployment of the new weapons.

The Air Force plans to award the single EMD contract in late fiscal year 2020.

Overall, the Air Force plans to build as many as 400 new GBSD weapons to modernize the arsenal and replace the 1970s-era Boeing-built Minuteman IIIs.

The new weapons will be engineered with improved guidance technology, boosters, flight systems, and command and control systems, compared to the existing Minuteman III missiles. The weapon will also have upgraded circuitry and be built with a mind to long-term maintenance and sustainability, developers said.

“What is new and different is that we are thinking about all the needed support and sustainment,” Ray said.

Initial subsystem prototypes are included within the scope of the current Boeing and Northrop deals, service developers said.

Senior nuclear weapons developers have told Warrior that upgraded guidance packages, durability, and new targeting technology are all among areas of current developmental emphasis for the GBSD.

The new ICBMs will be deployed roughly within the same geographical expanse in which the current weapons are stationed. In total, dispersed areas across three different sites span 33,600 miles, including missiles in Cheyenne, Wyoming, Minot, North Dakota, and Great Falls, Montana.

“We are taking a near, mid and far term assessment to make sure we do not put all the risk into the same bucket,” Ray said.

This article originally appeared on Warrior Maven. Follow @warriormaven1 on Twitter.

MIGHTY TRENDING

This US soldier has deployed home to Afghanistan

As an Afghan-American linguist, Sgt. Zabi Abraham strives to help the two countries he loves.

Originally from Afghanistan’s Nangarhar Province near the border of Pakistan, Abraham first served as a contractor to support U.S. Special Forces units.

Before and during operations, Abraham, now 35, would translate for the soldiers and share knowledge about his country’s customs and traditions.


“They respected me a lot,” he recalled, “and also gave me the chance to explain every situation to them.”

The soldiers also taught him about America, and he became interested in the opportunities it offered.

Years later, those opportunities led him on a path to U.S. citizenship. He also had the chance to return to Afghanistan, where he now serves as an advisor for one of the U.S. Army’s newest units, the 1st Security Force Assistance Brigade.

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch

Sgt. Zabi Abraham, center, an advisor with the 1st Security Force Assistance Brigade’s 5th Battalion, interprets a conversation between Lt. Col. Zachary Miller, right, the battalion commander, and an Afghan National Army officer during an Afghan-led operation near Kabul, Afghanistan, Sept. 16, 2018.

(U.S. Army photo by Sean Kimmons)

In Afghanistan, about a quarter of the labor force is unemployed and more than half of the population lives below the national poverty line, according to the most recent data provided by The World Bank.

Determined to have a better life, Abraham’s hard work as a contractor helped him be recommended for a special immigration visa. In 2013, he was approved and moved his family to the United States to start a new journey.

His first taste of America left him amazed when he and his family first stepped foot onto U.S. soil while switching planes in Chicago.

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch

Sgt. Zabi Abraham, center, an advisor with the 1st Security Force Assistance Brigade’s 5th Battalion, speaks with Afghan soldiers during an Afghan-led operation near Kabul, Afghanistan, Sept. 16, 2018.

(Army photo by Sean Kimmons)

“We saw everything was very nice and very fresh. We said that this is the life,” he said, smiling.

His family chose to live in Missouri and, at first, it took some time to adapt to the American way of life.

The endless choices at megastores, a variety of pay systems (Afghanistan mainly relies on cash), and the other differences in American culture presented some challenges.

“At the beginning, it was little bit hard,” he said. “Everything was very new for us.”

Abraham and his wife also wanted to be a dual-income family, so both obtained learner’s permits so they could drive themselves around.

Although it is legal for women to drive in Afghanistan, many families restrict them from doing so due to safety concerns.

Abraham and his wife studied for the driver’s test and frequently practiced behind the wheel. Once the test came, they both passed.

“It was such a big experience and a good day for us,” he said.

Joining the Army

While things went well in his new home, his heart still longed for Afghanistan and he searched how he could help rebuild the war-torn country.

In 2015, he walked into an Army recruiter’s office and told them he once served as a linguist with U.S. soldiers. Impressed, a recruiter suggested he become an active-duty interpreter.

“My main reason was to come back and use my skill,” said Abraham, who speaks Dari and Pashto, the two most widely spoken Afghan languages.

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch

In traditional Afghan attire, Zabi Abraham, now a sergeant with the 1st Security Force Assistance Brigade’s 5th Battalion, poses for a photo in Jalalabad, Afghanistan, in 2013.

At basic training, Abraham, still an Afghan citizen, was issued sets of the Army combat uniform along with the other trainees. When the time came to wear the uniform, he could not help but share the moment with his family.

“I was very proud and took some pictures and sent them to my family,” he said. “They were proud of me, too.”

Abraham eventually earned his citizenship and was stationed at Fort Irwin, California, where he and other interpreters helped rotational units at the National Training Center prepare for deployments.

Speaking in his native tongue, Abraham and others role-played as peaceful villagers, insurgents and even detainees to gauge how soldiers responded.

News then spread across the training base about a new unit designed to bolster the train, advise and assist mission in Afghanistan.

The more he heard about the 1st SFAB and its experienced soldiers, many of whom have been deployed to Afghanistan, the more it appealed to him.

“I wanted to be involved with such professional people,” he said.

SFAB mission

Now based at the New Kabul Compound in the middle of the country’s capital city, Abraham is one of the most impactful advisors within the brigade’s 5th Battalion.

Often, he is at the battalion commander’s side, translating conversations between him and senior Afghan leaders.

His respectful demeanor and extensive knowledge of Afghan traditions make him a popular soldier to almost every Afghan he meets.

These are the most laughably bad recruitment ads for each branch

Zabi Abraham, right, now a sergeant with the 1st Security Force Assistance Brigade’s 5th Battalion, prepares to do the Oath of Enlistment while at a military entrance processing station.

“They see him as serving us, but also as serving them,” said Lt. Col. Zachary Miller, the 5th Battalion commander.

During important discussions, Abraham is sort of Miller’s key advisor to ensure things are not lost in translation or to pick up on cultural cues.

“It’s the word choice they are choosing. It may be the way they did or did not answer a certain question,” Miller said. “So, if you got a really quality cultural advisor and interpreter, like we do with Sgt. Abraham, he will stop you from asking a question that is not the right time to ask.”

When the time is right, Abraham will ask those sensitive questions in private to support the mission.

“Even if you get trained on the Dari language,” Miller said, “you’ll never be able to pick up on those things if you’re not a native speaker.”

Wearing the same combat gear as every American soldier over here, Abraham also surprises Afghans when he speaks in their language.

“They don’t realize because I’m in full kit, but after I speak with them they realize I am Afghan,” he said, laughing. “I tell them about the service I provided when I was a linguist with them and right now how I support both countries.

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Zabi Abraham, now a sergeant with the 1st Security Force Assistance Brigade’s 5th Battalion, poses for a photo with his wife and two children during a trip to San Diego.

“They are appreciative of my service.”

With his unit’s deployment ending this month, Abraham recently spoke of where his career may go next.

If his family approves — most importantly his wife and two young children — he would like to retire as a soldier.

“Without their support, I could not do anything and achieve my goal here in Afghanistan,” he said. “They are part of my heart.”

Another part of his heart belongs to Afghanistan.

Abraham is in the process of completing his bachelor’s degree and raising his test scores to perhaps re-class to 35P, a cryptologic linguist. That job deals with identifying foreign communications using signals equipment.

Even if he does switch careers, Abraham aspires to be halfway across the world again helping his native country.

“My hope is that one day there is peace in this country,” he said.

This article originally appeared on the United States Army. Follow @USArmy on Twitter.

MIGHTY TRENDING

F-35 nose gear collapses after plane makes emergency landing

An F-35A from Eglin Air Force Base, Florida, experienced an in-flight emergency Aug. 22, 2018 as well as a ground mishap which caused its nose gear to collapse, service officials said.

The F-35, assigned to the 58th Fighter Squadron, experienced a ground mishap at approximately 12:50 p.m., the 33rd Fighter Wing said in a Facebook post.


“The F-35A experienced an in-flight emergency and returned to base,” officials said. “The aircraft landed safely and parked when the front nose gear collapsed,” the 33rd said.

One pilot was on board the aircraft, but did not sustain any injuries as a result of the mishaps, the Air force said. Fire crews “responded immediately,” officials said.

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An F-35A Lightning II taxis down the runway.

(U.S. Air Force photo by Airman 1st Class Emily Smallwood)

Lena Lopez, a spokeswoman for the 33rd Fighter Wing, told Military.com that an investigation into the incident “is just beginning.” Lopez did not specify a timeline when the Air Force may have an update into the incident.

The Air Force did not specify the extent of the damage.

Eglin is home to one of the busiest F-35 training units in the Air Force; The 33rd Fighter Wing is also the leading training wing for F-35 student pilots.

The 33rd maintains 25 F-35As. The U.S. Navy, which also has a presence at Eglin and sends pilots through the training pipeline at the base, keeps 8 F-35Cs on station.

Photos from the Northwest Florida Daily News showed the F-35 tipped downward atop its collapsed landing gear.

Featured image: Contracted Logistics Maintenance personnel from Lockheed Martin at Eglin Air Force Base, Fla., stop the pilot on the taxiway during the return of his flight in preparation to verify the F-35A’s brake temperatures are within safe limits to recover the aircraft March 13, 2012.

This article originally appeared on Military.com. Follow @militarydotcom on Twitter.

popular

Watch this Iraq War vet’s tragic story told through animation

In 2005, Lance Corporal Travis Williams and his squad went on a rescue mission that would change his life forever. Of his 12-man crew, he was the only one to come back alive.


Also Read: This Dying Vietnam Veteran Is Giving Away Everything He Owns To Charity

It all started with what seemed like a routine mission. His squad loaded onto the vehicle, but when it was his turn to join them, he was asked to go on the next ride. The last thing he said to them was, “catch you guys on the flipside.”

While in route, he heard a loud explosion, which turned out to be the vehicle his squad was on. The vehicle was ripped in half, and there were no survivors.

Watch the cartoon narrated with Travis’ story and learn how he honors his friends.

StoryCorps, YouTube

MIGHTY TRENDING

These 3 Air Force bases will get the new B-21 bomber

The Air Force said on May 2, 2018, that the new B-21 Raider bomber will go to three bases in the US when it starts arriving in the mid-2020s.

The service picked Dyess Air Force Base in Texas, Ellsworth Air Force Base in South Dakota, and Whiteman Air Force Base in Missouri as “reasonable alternatives” for the new bomber.


The Air Force said using existing bomber bases would reduce operational impact, lower overhead, and minimize costs.

“Our current bomber bases are best suited for the B-21,” Air Force Secretary Heather Wilson said in a release. Sen. Mike Rounds of South Dakota has said Ellsworth is a candidate to be the first to get the new, next-generation bomber.

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Airmen perform preflight checks on a B-2 Spirit and signal to the mission commander that he is clear and free to move to the runway at Whiteman Air Force Base, Missouri, April 24, 2017.
(U.S. Air Force photo by Airman 1st Class Jazmin Smith)

The B-21 will eventually replace the B-1 Lancer and B-2 Spirit at those bases, as well — though the Air Force doesn’t plan to start retiring those bombers until it has enough B-21s to replace them.

Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana and Minot Air Force Base in North Dakota will continue to host the B-52 Stratofortress, the workhorse bomber that was first introduced in 1952 and is expected to remain in service until the 2050s.

A final basing decision is expected in 2019 after compliance with the National Environmental Policy Act and other regulations.

“We are designing the B-21 Raider to replace our aging bombers as a long-range, highly survivable aircraft capable of carrying mixed conventional and nuclear payloads, to strike any target worldwide,” Air Force chief of staff Gen. David L. Goldfein said in the release.

Air Force Brig. Gen. Carl Schaefer, commander of the 412th Test Wing, said in March that the B-21 will head to Edwards Air Force Base in California for testing “in the near future.” His announcement appeared to confirm that the Raider would undergo operational testing sooner than expected.

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Aircrew members perform preflight checks on a B-1B Lancer as part of a standoff-weapons-integration exercise at Ellsworth Air Force Base, South Dakota, August 13, 2014.
(U.S. Air Force photo by Senior Airman Zachary Hada)

The B-21 is being engineered to have next-generation stealth capability to allow it to elude the most advanced air defenses in the world, and it has been developed under a high level of secrecy.

There are no known photographs of the bomber, and few details about it have been released. A report in November 2017, suggested the Air Force could have been preparing Area 51 to host the bomber for testing.

The name “Raider” was selected from suggestions submitted by airmen in a contest in early 2016. The name refers to the daring Doolittle raid over Tokyo on April 18, 1942.

The raid was the first US strike on Japan in World War II, and it boosted morale in the US and led the Japanese military to divert resources for defense of its homeland. Lt. Col. Richard Cole, who was Lt. Col. James Doolittle’s copilot and the last surviving member of the raid, announced the new name in September 2016.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY SPORTS

Korean War vet honored at Steelers football game

Korean War veteran Ed Portka, 90, was honored along with his stepson as the Pittsburgh Steelers hosted the Cincinnati Bengals on national television.

Former Maj. David Reeser, who commanded an Army diving company in Europe 28 years ago, accompanied his stepfather, a former first lieutenant, onto the field for the Steelers’ “Salute Our Heroes” recognition during a short break following the third quarter of the game.

“I’m excited about it,” Portka said about his upcoming recognition, just before the game, offering that he was “looking forward to it,” but a little hesitant.


Portka served as a platoon leader in an engineer unit under the 1st Cavalry Division in Korea. He was responsible for breaching minefields and other obstacles during offensive operations and installing minefields to protect U.S. defensive positions.

“We did a lot of dirty work,” Portka said. “It was specialized work.”

He said every chance they got, they detonated mines by firing their M-1 rifles at them rather than risking lives.

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Second Lt. Ed Portka, prior to deploying to Korea with an engineering unit under the 1st Cavalry Division, where he was responsible for breaching minefields.

(U.S. Army photo)

Portka served in Korea from 1952-53. One of his memories was of meeting Gen. Matthew Ridgway, 8th Army commander, during a battlefield circulation, just after Portka’s platoon finished clearing a minefield near Pusan, Korea.

“He was down-to-earth,” Portka said of Ridgway.

The Korean War armistice agreement was signed on Portka’s 24th birthday, July 27, 1953, just before he redeployed home. He said it was quite a birthday present.

After the war, Portka was an architectural draftsman with George M. Ewing Company in Washington, D.C. He later managed the firm’s Philadelphia office and was the project manager for the design of Veterans Stadium, home of the Philadelphia Eagles.

Reeser was stationed in Europe in the early 1990s, where he served as a platoon Leader and then as commander of a diving detachment. After leaving the military, he founded an engineering firm, Infrastructure Engineers, that performs underwater bridge inspections.

Reeser now lives in Florida and his stepfather in Atlanta, but said he returns to Pittsburgh every chance he gets to take his stepfather to Steeler games.

At the end of their recognition on the field, both veterans aggressively waved Pittsburgh Steeler “terrible towels.” The Steelers beat the Bengals 27-3.

This article originally appeared on United States Army. Follow @USArmy on Twitter.

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