How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY MOVIES

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge

After years of waiting, Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge is finally opening, offering fans the chance to leave our world behind and head to a galaxy far, far away. But while you are undoubtedly stoked to visit Galaxy’s Edge at Disneyland (opening May 31, 2019) or Disney World (opening August 29, 2019), you are probably also a little anxious about making the most of your trip. Fortunately, Carlye Wisel visited the 14-acre expansion at Disneyland and she shared her experience with Polygon, giving insight into the best way to spend your time and money at the park. Here is what she shared.


There are two main areas in Galaxy’s Edge: Black Spire Outpost and The Resistance Forest. And according to Wisel, you are best of avoiding the latter for the time being, as it is mostly home to “Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance, which won’t open until later this year.” But there’s more than enough to do at Black Spire Outpost, which features “Toydarian Toymaker, The Jewels of Bith, Creature Stall, and Black Spire Outfitters, as well as Kat Saka’s Kettle, offering colorful, spicy-sweet popcorn.”

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge

(Disney Parks)

If you are someone who is primarily looking for an awesome souvenir, Wisel recommends Dok-Ondar’s Den of Antiquities, which is “packed with all the high-end, super-insidery merch that fans are bound to freak out about, sold under the gaze of its mysterious Audio-Animatronic proprietor.” As for more casual shopping, First Order Cargo features a litany of cool pins, while Black Spire Outfitters will get you looking like a real-life Jedi.

Of course, the main attraction are the personalized lightsabers and droids, which can be found at Droid Depot and Savi’s Workshop, respectively. However, it’s worth noting that for the lightsabers, there are limited spots.

“The merchandise experience, which lets guests hand-select their own kyber crystals and build a heavy-duty personalized lightsaber, has approximately three build show experiences per hour, and each turn is limited to 28 people — 14 builders with a single allotted guest,” Wisel writes.

Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge to Open May 31 at Disneyland Resort, Aug. 29 at Disney’s Hollywood Studios

www.youtube.com

Perhaps the biggest tip of all doesn’t involve what you should do at Galaxy’s Edge but rather, what you should not do. According to Len Testa, co-author of The Unofficial Guide and founder of Touring Plans, you might be better off not heading straight to Smugglers Run, as it is almost guaranteed to be overrun with visitors during the first few hours but may become less crowded by lunchtime.

Whatever you want to do, Wisel suggests that the best thing to do before you visit is to come up with a gameplan to ensure you don’t waste your time there.

“Whatever you do, download the Play Disney Parks app before you enter,” Wisel writes. “It’s being used to facilitate and enhance the Galaxy’s Edge experience — and you’ll be way too busy sucking down cantina drinks and taking in the otherworldly delights of Batuu to do it once there.”

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.

popular

We made the best fictional infantry squad ever

Managing an infantry squad is similar to a sports coach shifting players around to positions that best fit their strengths and talents. Since Marines aren’t created equal, capitalizing on those strengths and building up weakness is why the U.S. military is such a juggernaut today.


On special occasions, a Marine infantry squad patrol is comprised of a platoon leader (if he decides to go), a squad leader, three fire team leaders, three SAW gunners, and six riflemen.

This all, of course, depends on how your squad is made up — we’re even going to throw in a Company Gunny for sh*ts and giggles.

Related: 6 newbie boots you wouldn’t want in your infantry squad

So check out our list of who’d make up our infantry squad if we got to pick favorites.

Our Platoon Leader: Splinter

He’s been there, done that, and he’s missing half of an ear from fighting a fellow ninja.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: Wikipedia Commons)

 

Our Company Gunny: Gunny Thomas Highway

He eats concertina wire and pisses napalm. What else do you look for in leadership?

 

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: WB/Screenshot)

Our Squad Leader: Sgt. Slaughter

He’s a career Sergeant and loves his country. That is all.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: Twitter @_SgtSlaughter)

Three Fire Team Leaders:

1. John McClane

He’s a smart *ss and a pretty good detective, but can’t ever seem to pick up E-5 because of bad luck. Everywhere he goes a terrorist attack breaks out, but he knows how to handle that sh*t.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(20th Century Fox)

2. Indiana Jones

He never quits, plus he’s great at reading maps and studies the cultures of the countries he’s about to help invade.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

3. Neo

He is the “chosen one” and we’re choosing him to be a fire team leader.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: WB/Screenshot)

Saw Gunners

1. Animal Mother

He doesn’t give a sh*t about anything but killing the bad guys which is totally bad ass.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: WB/Screenshot)

2. Rambo

He can carry all the gear and shoot from the hip; no doubt he’ll put accurate rounds down range.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: TriStar/Screenshot)

3. Xander Cage

His hair is always in regs and he’s an adrenaline junky — we like that.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: Sony/Screenshot)

Riflemen

1. Luke Skywalker

I mean, obviously, right?

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: Buena Vista/Screenshot)

2. Sloth

He’s strong as hell, but needs to be told what to do.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: WB/Screenshot)

3. Deadpool

He’s an outstanding shot, but he’ll never get promoted to Corporal — not with that smart ass attitude.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: Flickr)

4. Private Reiben

He’s a hard charger and fights ’til the very end.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: Dream Works/Screenshot)

5. Frank Drebin

He’s comical as hell and Marines loved to be entertained while out in the sh*t. Plus he seems to always get the job done…somehow.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

6. Wolverine

He’s always down to fight and can heal himself up, making the Corpsman’s life easier.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: Fox/Screenshot)

The Comm Guy/ Radioman: Donatello

The one from the latest movies, not the cartoon version where he can’t get sh*t to work properly. Plus he’s a freakin’ ninja.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: Paramount/Pinterest)

Corpsman: Dr. Doug Ross

He’s good looking and has good hair — so do all Corpsmen.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: NBC/ The Ringer)

Bonus – The first infantrywoman: Imperator Furiosa

Just in case we get stuck in a firefight, she’d be good to have around.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
(Source: WB/Screenshot)

Who would you put into your infantry squad? Comment below.

Humor

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

Joker, Cowboy, and Animal Mother are just some of the iconic characters in Stanley Kubrick’s “Full Metal Jacket” that audiences hoped would survive as they maneuvered their way through the dangerous battlegrounds of the Vietnam War.


One character no member of the audience gave a sh*t about, though, was Leonard Lawrence a.k.a. Pvt. Pyle because he was slow, overweight, and ended up murdering his D.I. and blowing his brains out while sitting on a toilet.

Let’s pretend that the murder-suicide never took place and Private Pyle actually went out to the fleet.

Related: 7 life lessons we learned from watching ‘Full Metal Jacket’

Check out these reasons why it would be a solid idea to have Pvt. Pyle assigned your infantry squad:

1. He’d be great to have during morning PT…if you’re hungover

Formation runs only go as fast as the slowest man. Since Pvt. Pyle was no marathon runner, the multi-mile runs would be at a pretty slow pace.

Monday morning PT would be a breeze. (Image via Giphy)

2. Everyone would look sh*t hot compared to him

He’s a f*ck up, so having him around would make everyone else look like rock stars.

Look at his silly smile. (Image via Giphy)

3. He’s actually a good shot

Even the drill instructor said so.

Having accurate trigger pullers on the battlefield is a huge advantage.

Foreshadowing. (Image via Giphy)

4. You would always have someone you can trick into standing your duty

Who could we get to stand fire-watch around the barracks on Christmas Day? Answer: Pvt. Pyle.

I wonder what he was thinking. (Image via Giphy)

5. He’d always have good snacks on deployment

If he can sneak a jelly donut into the squad bay, we’re sure he’d be able to get much more than that through customs.

To be fair, jelly donuts are delicious. (Image via Giphy)

6. You wouldn’t be the last one to finish anything

Pyle would be the last if he even finished anything he started.

You would literally never finish last. (Image via Giphy)

Also Read: A Marine explains why people love the film ‘Full Metal Jacket’ so much

7. You’d watch him and learn from his mistakes

His form is way off.

That obstacle isn’t easy for anyone. (Image via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

MIGHTY MOVIES

How ‘Saving Private Ryan’ could use a sequel, but not in the way Hollywood thinks

There’s no doubt about it. Steven Spielberg’s 1998 war epic, Saving Private Ryan, was a masterpiece in every aspect of filmmaking. It won five of the eleven Academy Awards for which it was nominated. The immense scale of the invasion of Normandy was expertly recreated for film in a way that hasn’t been replicated since — and likely never will be.

Despite the massive war that characterizes the film, the movie’s primary conflict wasn’t between warring nations, but rather between Tom Hanks’ character, Captain Miller, and his duty to return Pfc. Ryan (as played by Matt Damon), who refuses to leave behind the brothers with whom he’d fought so far.


The film, being the masterpiece that it is, wraps the story up nicely, leaving few loose ends, but there’s that ever-burning question in Hollywood — how do you make that special lightning strike twice? How can you create another story surrounding the incomparable D-Day and find just as much success?

The truth is, simply, that you can’t. The story has already been perfectly told by one of the finest filmmakers in Hollywood at just the right moment. But that doesn’t mean that the story has necessarily ended…

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge

What made this scene so great wasn’t the million put into it — it was Tom Hank’s reaction to everything happening around him.

(DreamWorks Pictures)

As stated by Jack Knight of War History Online, there is serious interest in following-up Saving Private Ryan by continuing the story of the Rangers at D-Day and the mission that occurred at Pointe du Hoc. What made the beach landing scene so spectacular wasn’t the battle itself, but rather how the battle was seen — through Capt. Miller’s eyes.

The audience felt the immense gravity of war in a truly human way. In one moment, we’re listening to a guy joke on the landing craft; one second later, his blood is splattered on Miller’s face. This is the essence of what made Saving Private Ryan so great. World War II was just the backdrop to a more personal story, but the sheer, raw horrors of war were still very much present.

The audience saw the enemy in the distance, but the focus was entirely on the Capt. Miller. Any spiritual successor (or direct sequels) should keep that in mind.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge

It’s a grim reality, but it’s comforting in it’s own way.

(Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer)

Such a sequel, a movie that follows someone’s personal life after a major conflict, has been dreamt up before. One film, known as “the greatest war film never made,” that was to explore this theme was to be called The Way Back.

The 1955 film To Hell and Back was an amazing anomaly. It was the World War II experience of Audie Murphy, based on the autobiography of the same name that was written by Audie Murphy and David McClure, starring Audie Murphy himself. But this wasn’t the only film the war hero wanted to make. Everyone wanted to see his heroic stand on the back of the Sherman, but he never got the finances for the script that told the story of what happened after he was bestowed the Medal of Honor.

He struggled daily with post-traumatic stress. His family life was, to put it lightly, troubled. He turned to drugs and alcohol to cope with the pain. He even famously locked himself in a dirty motel room to kick his morphine addiction. He was lost in a world that wanted “him,” but not the real him. But he knew countless children looked up to him, so he put one foot in front of the other with a forced smile on his face.

This movie, were it ever made, would’ve been a powerful piece. Audie Murphy, arguably the greatest soldier to ever don a uniform, would’ve told everyone that not everything is fine when the war’s over. There’s a pain there that nobody can see, but many of us feel.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge

It’s not like there are too many war films out there specifically made for Post 9/11 vets. The bar is set kinda low…

(Summit Entertainment)

War films are a dime a dozen in Hollywood and rarely will they have any impact on the public because they’re just action scenes after action scenes until the credits roll. If Hollywood really wanted a powerful message to send to the world, they could make a grounded story following the life of one of the Rangers after D-Day. Use Saving Private Ryan’s personal approach and make it about one soldier. They could keep the action scenes, but make them a background to the story of just surviving. Then, as Act II rolls around, shift the story to show how a returning soldier survives this world he left behind to fight in D-Day.

Hollywood could have their cake and eat it to while also sending a powerful message to the countless returning veterans of the Post-9/11 wars, telling them that they’re not alone.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Walk in My Combat Boots, a Fox Nation special you don’t want to miss

On February 10, 2021 – Fox Nation will air Walk in My Combat Boots, its newest military special. 

The one-hour special will be presented by Best-Selling Author James Patterson and Army First Sergeant (ret.) Matt Eversmann, whose story was featured in Black Hawk Down. The aim of the television special is to give viewers a true look behind the curtain of service to country and what the implications of that service actually mean. 

Patterson’s book list is filled page-turning well-known thrillers like the ones featuring character Alex Cross, who was portrayed by Oscar-winning actor Morgan Freeman on the big screen. He recently partnered up with Eversmann to write Walk in My Combat Boots, released February 8, 2021. The new book features stories from veterans across the span of the past fifty or so years and was created after undergoing hundreds of interviews with service members. This collection of stories takes the reader deep into what military service is really like. 

One review of the book said it best: “Up close war is a tapestry of individual stories, as painfully raw, improbably funny, and completely human as the soldiers themselves. James Patterson and my former Ranger comrade Matt Eversmann, have brilliantly woven together an image that is as compelling as it is entertaining.” ―Stanley A. McChrystal, General, US Army (Ret.)

Photo provided by Fox Nation. Eversmann is on the left with another soldier while serving on active duty.
Photo provided by Fox. Eversmann is on the left with another soldier while serving on active duty.

It was this groundbreaking book that was the inspiration for the Fox Nation special. 

Eversmann himself will share his experiences of war and the jaw-dropping daytime raid he led fellow rangers on back in 1993. It would be those hours that would lead to the world-renowned book and eventual movie, Black Hawk Down. He was awarded the Bronze Star with Valor for his courage and heroism during that battle, which he eventually wrote about in The Battle of Mogadishu: Firsthand Accounts from the Men of Task Force Ranger.  Eversmann would go on to teach and eventually live with the Iraqi Army for 15 months during The Surge of the War on Terror. Following his retirement from active duty, he dedicated his life to serving the veteran community.

The reality of the after effects of war is hard to comprehend for the American public who may only read about things that occurred or see it portrayed somewhat realistically on film. This special takes you deep inside what comes after service and it isn’t always the pretty red, white and blue you imagined. 

For the special, Patterson and Eversmann bring in Retired Army Sergeants Jason Droddy and Kevin Droddy, who are twins, to recount their experiences before, during and after service. In the clip shown to WATM we hear how the men did everything growing up together and it was no surprise to anyone that they enlisted and served together as well. In fact, they would even be put into the same unit, 3rd Ranger Battalion and deploy together. They’d be doing everything together, except combat. In the special, the viewers will hear the recounting of that experience. 

Now retired army sergeants Jason and Kevin Droddy. Photo provided by Fox Nation.
Photo provided by Fox. Jason is on the left and Kevin is on the right.

Those watching at home will also hear from retired Sergeant Jena Lewis and Retired Staff Sergeant Jon Eyton, as they tell their stories of loss, combat and coming home. 

As America heads towards 20 years at war, this special has never been more relevant and needed. While stories of the troops’ heroism and loss used to dominate the television and newspapers fifteen years ago, they are barely a line or two today. To truly thank a servicemember for their service, you must first recognize and understand what the true cost of war is and what serving the country really looks like. 

Walk in My Combat Boots on Fox Nation will show you. 

MIGHTY MOVIES

Why ‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ is expected to flop at China box office

“Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” is heading for the worst opening at the China box office of Disney’s new “Star Wars” movies.

The movie had earned $2.2 million in the region by 8 p.m. local time on Friday, according to Variety, and was trailing behind three Chinese movies. The Chinese ticket service Maoyan is projecting “The Rise of Skywalker” to earn just $18 million during its theatrical run in China.

The “Star Wars” franchise has struggled to build an audience in the country, where Hollywood is increasingly relying on its box office to boost its blockbusters. The Chinese theatrical market has been growing at a rapid pace and is even projected to dethrone the US as the world’s box-office leader within the next few years.


Each Disney-era “Star Wars” movie has made less in China than the previous one. Here’s how each of them performed there:

  • “The Force Awakens” — 4 million
  • “Rogue One” — million
  • “The Last Jedi” — million
  • “Solo” — million
How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge

(Disney/Lucasfilm)

Despite the lack of enthusiasm in China, all of those movies except “Solo” grossed over id=”listicle-2641661309″ billion worldwide. “The Force Awakens” earned over billion globally and 6 million domestically.

“The Rise of Skywalker” is expected to have a big opening domestically this weekend — despite negative reviews — but still less than the previous movies in the new trilogy. Boxoffice.com is projecting the movie to debut between 0 million and 0 million. “The Force Awakens” opened with 8 million domestically and “The Last Jedi” with 0 million.

“The Rise of Skywalker” so far has a 57% critic score on Rotten Tomatoes, making it the worst-reviewed “Star Wars” movie since “The Phantom Menace.”

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

Read more:

MIGHTY MOVIES

How to forge your own blade like Rambo

In honor of the release of Rambo: Last Blood, Lionsgate invited me out to Adam’s Forge in Los Angeles SO THAT I COULD LITERALLY BEND STEEL TO MY VERY WILL. A group of us had the chance to forge knives out of railroad spikes, much like Sylvester Stallone does in the film.

It. Was. Awesome.

If you’ve never had the chance to do something like this, then my friend I beg of you, get thee to a forge. It’ll make you feel alive.


Rambo: Last Blood (2019 Movie) New Trailer— Sylvester Stallone

www.youtube.com

Rambo: Last Blood Trailer

Almost four decades after he drew first blood, Sylvester Stallone is back as one of the greatest action heroes of all time, John Rambo. Now, Rambo must confront his past and unearth his ruthless combat skills to exact revenge in a final mission. A deadly journey of vengeance, RAMBO: LAST BLOOD marks the last chapter of the legendary series.

“A hammer can be used to build or destroy,” observed Aram, the artist in residence at Adam’s Forge — and our lead instructor for the day.

He started out with safety information (“Assume everything is hot. The forge can be up to 2200 degrees and the steel doesn’t have to be glowing to burn you…”) and then, without any delay, he was thrusting his spike in the fire.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge

“I don’t want you to worry about how sexy it is until the end.” Well, I am worried about it, Aram. I want mine to be sexy.

Lionsgate Image

When the steel is at critical temperature, it’s ready to be shaped and forged with the hammer. Aram demonstrated this, making it look exceptionally easy, but as you might imagine, it’s actually pretty challenging. The metal cools rather quickly, so we had about enough time to strike 16-20 times in quick succession per side, rotating the blade every 8-10 strikes.

Then there’s the issue of hitting the target, which takes practice. I found at first that I was able to strike with force OR precision — but rarely with both. Eventually I began to get the hang of it, until I learned that I was twisting my blade.

Sharpen, straighten, pound, heat.

Aram and guest instructor Al were there to supervise and teach us about the science behind the blacksmith trade.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge

Lionsgate Image

I discovered that if my tongs were too deep in the forge, their metal began to expand, loosening the grip on my blade. A quick dip in a bucket of water helped cool them down enough to begin again.

Once we’d begun to sharpen and shape the blade, it was time to work the handle, twisting it in a vice and hammering it into a curve. Here we were able to make artistic choices, which stressed me out because, again, I wanted my blade to be sexy.

Once we were satisfied with the shape of our weapon, it was time to temper it.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge

Lionsgate Image

First we brought the blade to critical temperature, which we were able to test not just by visually seeing that the thing was glowing hot, but by the fact that it was demagnetized. Then we removed it from the forge and let it cool until the magnetic quality returned. The molecular alignment of the metal was literally changing during this process.

Then we brought the knife to critical temperature once more before quickly “quenching” it.

According to Aram, different cultures had different recipes to quench their metal, which rapidly hardens and cools it. We could safely handle the blade after less than a minute of quenching.

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge

From there it was time to sharpen the knife on the grindstone, shave off and smooth down excess steel, and then apply a light layer of WD-40 to prevent rust.

At the end of four hours, we’d each forged our own blade. It was seriously bad ass. I felt like Iron Man.

Tony Stark Builds Mark 1 – First Suit Up Scene – Iron Man (2008) – Movie CLIP HD

www.youtube.com

Here’s my biggest takeaway about blacksmithing: it’s got the meditative quality of crafting with your hands combined with the power that comes from working with weapons. If you like going to the gun range, grab some buddies and go forge your own freaking dagger. It’s just cool.

I’m excited to share this with other veterans because it’s been proven how therapeutic it is to work with your hands, to create. I wouldn’t exactly tell a macho guy to go take a painting class (although…maybe?) but I’d recommend this in a heartbeat.

It felt powerful. It was hot and challenging and violent and contained.

And then I walked away with a bitchin’ new blade to call my own.

HUGE SHOUTOUT to Lionsgate, who does so many cool events for veterans, for this opportunity. Don’t forget to check out Rambo: Last Blood, out on Digital and coming to 4K Ultra HD™ Combo Pack, Blu-ray™ Combo Pack, DVD on Dec. 17.

MIGHTY MOVIES

4 movie deaths that taught us to be better in combat

War movies constantly take abuse from critics and veterans from all over about how bad the story was or how inaccurate the tactics — that’s the movie business.


War movies are also constantly coming up with new ways to kill off its characters.

So instead of deconstructing and over-examining a film for its problems, let’s check out how these movie deaths can help educate new troops on how to be better in combat.

Related: 6 movie medics you’d want in your infantry squad

1. Don’t: pick up souvenirs

Being on patrol in a war-torn city means there’s going to be plenty of random objects laying on the ground. A cute and cuddly rabbit may appear innocent, but in a combat zone, anything can be rigged to blow.

Although this is an enemy booby trap, it was well placed and constructed.

What are you picking up a stuffed bunny for anyway? It’s creepy. (Source: Warner Bros. /Giphy images)

2. Do: stay low

Staying as low as humanly possible is important as seen in “Enemy at the Gates.”

3. Do: have situational awareness

In the infantry, it’s very important to have a solid 360 degree of security in place so the enemy can’t sneak inside and stab you in the stomach like in 2008’s Ben Stiller-directed “Tropic Thunder.” The movie may have been incredibly goofy, but they make a good case how vital it is to know who is in your area.

Also Read: The 6 best Hollywood sniper shots ever

4. Don’t: operate without cover

In any infantry manual, the importance of taking up a spot that defends you from incoming enemy fire is vital. We’re guessing Cowboy, played by Arliss Howard, skipped that chapter of the book while attending the school of infantry.

“Why didn’t you guys tell meeeeeee?” (Source: Warner Bros. /Giphy images)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

MIGHTY MOVIES

New trailer shows Rambo is getting to old for this s***

The idea of a macho-man being referred to as a “Rambo” is so ingrained in everyone’s brains that it’s hard to remember that there was actually a time before Rambo movies actually existed. But now, it looks like Sylvester Stallone’s alter-ego John Rambo is really going to be in his final movie titled I’m Getting Too Old For This Shit; Rambo: Last Blood.

Set to a slowed-down version of Lil’ Nas X’s “Old Town Road,” Rambo: Last Blood leaves no old-guy action-star cliche unturned, which is why it will probably be awesome. In a plot that looks kind of like a mash-up of the last 20 minutes of Skyfalland the final episode of Breaking Bad, it seems Rambo is going to set a bunch of boobytraps and kill a bunch of dudes who probably (maybe?) deal drugs. (Killing evil drug dealers is what badass old dudes do full time in action movies these days, just so we’re clear.)


Rambo: Last Blood (2019 Movie) Teaser Trailer— Sylvester Stallone

www.youtube.com

The only question that remains at this point relative to Last Blood is whether or not Sly will utter the greatest old-guy action movie battle cry of all time; will Sly actually say “I’m getting too old for this shit?” And if he doesn’t will it really be Last Blood, or could there be a sequel. It’s a bit of a paradox, to be honest. When someone says “I’m getting too old for this shit” in an action movie (usually Danny Glover), it almost certainly means there’s a sequel and they are, in fact, not too old for this, or any other shit.

“I’m Too Old For This Shit”: The Movie Supercut

www.youtube.com

So, what say you, Rambo? Too old? Perhaps just perfectly old enough for this shit?

Side note: This is somehow, only the fifth Rambo movie. Doesn’t it seem like it’s the 20th?

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.

Articles

4 military blunders made by the Mother of Dragons so far in Season 7

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM “DRAGONSTONE,””STORMBORN,” AND “THE QUEEN’S JUSTICE.”


Daenerys Targaryen (played by Emilia Clarke) has had a bad couple of weeks in this penultimate run of “Game of Thrones.” As of the first three episodes in season seven, her forces are well on their way to being defeated in detail.

For the audience, this makes for satisfying conflict and suspense. Most everyone is rooting for fall of Cersei at the hands of Khaleesi, and this will make their final showdown exceptional.

But we can’t help but note that if the Mother of Dragons had studied a little U.S. military history, she might not have suffered such losses. Instead, Daenerys has managed to blunder away large parts of her forces — and her advantage over the Lannisters — and she did it with a number elementary mistakes that cadets at West Point or Annapolis could have pointed out in an instant.

This is not exactly a resume-enhancer for the Commander-in-Chief of the Seven Kingdoms.

Check out her four biggest mistakes since returning to Westeros:

1. Dispersion of Forces

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
Looking at the map, it’s obvious that Daenerys Targaryen’s plan to hit multiple targets was bound to fail.

She made the decision to split her naval forces, trying to do too much at once. She sent part of her fleet to pick up the Dornish Army and to bring them back to Dragonstone, while sending the rest to deliver the Unsullied to take Casterly Rock.

Japan made similar mistakes in the weeks leading up to the Battle of Midway, costing them a light carrier sunk, two fleet carriers rendered combat ineffective due to battle damage or losses, and two other carriers with substantial combat power diverted to a secondary task.

2. Failure to Secure Control of the Sea

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
Map of the Battle of the North Cape…which Daenerys could have accomplished. (Wikimedia Commons)

Knowing that Yara and Theon Greyjoy were fleeing from the person who had usurped the throne of the Iron Islands, Daenerys should have sought to replicate the Battle of the North Cape, in which a pair of convoys was used to draw out the German battlecruiser Scharnhorst to where it could be destroyed by a superior force (or in this case, by the dragons). After that she could transport armies at leisure.

Instead, she didn’t deal with the enemy fleet, and look what happened.

3. Acting with Inadequate Intelligence

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
Joe Rochefort. (U.S. Navy photo)

Daenerys also failed to establish a means to determine enemy intentions, which, as Joe Rochefort proved, can be vital to defeating a foe. As a result, the Tyrells, not to mention their fortune and bannermen, fell to the combined Lannister/Tarly army.

4. Observing Restrictive Rules of Engagement

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
We don’t blame Daenerys, but this ruined city looks better than the Sept of Baelor right about now.

Daenerys did have the option of going straight at Cersei Lannister, but declined due to concerns about civilian casualties.

This has been a subject of controversy during conflicts throughout history. Every military leader is faced with measuring out the cost of “collateral damage” and so, too, must Daenerys — especially when her opponent has no sense of moral restraint. How many more losses will she suffer before she resorts to fighting at Cersei’s level?

Hopefully by now she must know not to underestimate her enemy…especially considering Cersei’s hiding a surface-to-air missile under King’s Landing…

How to make the most of your trip to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge
Brace yourselves — the death of at least one dragon is coming. (Game of Thrones screenshot | HBO)

Articles

This Marine better watch his footing in the new thriller ‘Mine’

After an assassination gone wrong, a Marine sniper, played by Armie Hammer, is stranded in a dry oasis after stepping on one of at least 33 million mines that occupy the desert region.


In this psychological thriller, Mike will have to battle himself, his enemies, and all the dangerous elements of his environment without lifting a foot until help arrives — 52 hours away.

Mine blasts its way into theaters and On Demand April 2017.

MIGHTY MOVIES

These veterans were given a chance to perform standup at Gotham Comedy Club

The Armed Services Arts Partnership (ASAP) is an organization based in Virginia that builds communities for veterans, service members, and military families through classes, performances, and partnerships in the arts. As part of their mission, ASAP offers a Comedy Bootcamp for veterans to explore and develop their comedic abilities. 
These three veterans are alumni of the Comedy Bootcamp program and have been given the unique opportunity to perform their standup routines at the Gotham Comedy Club in New York City. Backed by veteran headliners PJ Walsh and Dion Flynn, the alumni put on a great show for their New York audience and proudly represented the armed services on the big stage.


MIGHTY MOVIES

Everything Disney just announced in the ‘Star Wars’ lineup

The Walt Disney Company lit up the internet on Dec. 10, announcing exciting new projects for Marvel, NatGeo, ESPN, Pixar, and more. But let’s talk about what’s important: Star Wars.

The Star Wars galaxy is expanding into new feature films, live action series, and animated series, so let’s go over everything that’s coming in 2021 and beyond.

1. Rangers of the New Republic

The first of two spinoffs to The Mandalorian, Rangers of the New Republic will take place during the timeline of the Mandalorian. Not much is known about who these rangers will be (my vote is for a Bo-Katan series…others might be hoping for more Timothy Olyphant) but it is rumored to contain crossover events with its sister series, which leads us to…

2. Ahsoka

Chapter 13 of The Mandalorian was just too good to not be a backdoor pilot. Ahsoka Tano, a beloved Jedi drop-out from The Clone Wars and Star Wars: Rebels, will be played by Rosario Dawson as she tracks down Grand Admiral Thrawn.

3. Andor

Starring Diego Luna once more as the titular Cassian Andor (from Rogue One), Andor has already begun filming in London and is set to release in 2022. Watch the trailer above for what few glimpses we’ve been given so far!

4. Obi-Wan Kenobi

We knew that Ewan McGregor would reprise his role as Obi-Wan Kenobi, but now we know that he will be joined by Hayden Christensen as Darth Vader. Set to take place 10 years after Revenge of the Sith (and nine years before A New Hope), the announcement of Vader definitely makes things interesting! 

5. The Bad Batch

Fans of The Clone Wars should be excited about The Bad Batch, and if we’ve learned anything from The Mandalorian, it’s that the events of Clone Wars and Rebels have a clear impact on live-action canonical characters. Announced earlier in 2020, The Bad Batch “follows the elite and experimental clones of the Bad Batch as they find their way in a rapidly changing galaxy in the immediate aftermath of the Clone War. Members of Bad Batch — a unique squad of clones who vary genetically from their brothers in the Clone Army — each possess a singular exceptional skill which makes them extraordinarily effective soldiers and a formidable crew. In the post-Clone War era, they will take on daring mercenary missions as they struggle to stay afloat and find new purpose.”

6. Star Wars: Visions

Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy announced that there will be ten “fantastic visions” told through the lens of the world’s best Japanese anime creators. Little else is know about these animated short films, but they will definitely look spectacular.

7. Lando

Remember that moment at the end of Rise of Skywalker when Lando sat down next to the ex-enslaved Stormtrooper, Jannah (Naomi Ackie)? It was kind of a forced moment, but I suspect this is why. Helmed by Justin Simien (Dear White People), the series that can easily launch with Lando helping Jannah look into where she came from.

I still maintain that it’s upsetting to know that so many of the Stormtroopers we’ve watched die are not Imperial volunteers but child soldiers…but…maybe an incredible and enlightened creator like Simien can help this make sense.

8. The Acolyte

Leslye Headland is the creator of Russian Doll, one of the most clever uses of the “groundhog day” device ever. This already has Netflix Jessica Jones or Daredevil vibes all over it. The idea of a darker, grittier, mystery-thrillier Star Wars has me amped.

To prepare you with knowledge about the High Republic era, check out Star Wars: The High Republic, a collection of original stories spanning a variety of comics, books, and more starting in January 2021.

9. A Droid Story

A Droid Story will be an animated series starring R2-D2 and C-3PO for Disney+. Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy announced, “As we continue to develop new stories, the intersection of animation and visual effects offers new opportunities for us to explore. This epic journey will introduce us to a new hero guided by our most iconic duu…on a secret mission known only to them. What could possibly go wrong?”

10. Untitled Taika Waititi feature film

While Jojo Rabbit may have garnered Waititi an Oscar, it was with Thor: Ragnarok that he captured my attention. Waititi is clever, funny, cool, and talented so it’s no surprise that Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy promised his film to be a wild ride.

11. Rogue Squadron

This one is so exciting we wrote an entire article about it. Wonder Woman director Patty Jenkins is determined to create the “greatest fighter pilot movie of all time.” She picked the right airframe — the T-65B X-Wing space superiority fighter has legendary status ever since Luke Skywalker jumped in the cockpit. Survivors of his Red Squadron at the Battle of Yavin would go on to form Rogue Squadron, named for the heroes of Rogue One. 

Rogue Squadron was founded by Luke Skywalker and Wedge Antilles, but this film should take place after The Rise of Skywalker and take us into “a new era” of flight.

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