The 'Mercury Seven' astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY MOVIES

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

Disney+ launched a Comic-Con@Home 2020 panel for their new scripted series The Right Stuff, which will explore the early days of the U.S. space program through the “Mercury Seven” — the military pilots who became the first NASA astronauts during the space race of the Cold War. “Competing to be the first in space, these ordinary men achieve the extraordinary, inspiring America to turn toward a new horizon of ambition and hope,” boasted Comic-Con International.

The first original scripted series from National Geographic for Disney+ promises to take a “clear-eyed look” at the newly-formed NASA. Set to release in late 2020, the series debuted a first look in a panel moderated by Former NASA Astronaut Dr. Mae Jemison.

Yes, that Dr. Mae Jemison.


Jemison was not only the first African American woman selected for the NASA astronaut program — she was the first woman of color in the world to go into space. Watch the full panel right here:

Blast Off with Disney+’s “The Right Stuff” | Comic-Con@Home 2020

www.youtube.com

The panel revealed the first official clip of the series, introducing Alan Shepard to the uninitiated. Shepard, of course, went on to become the first American to travel to space and he remains on the short list of men who have walked on the moon.

Also read: Mercury 13: The first female astronaut candidates that time forgot

“You gentlemen are accustomed to testing dangerous, unproven aircraft and yet somehow you’ve made it this far in one piece. Most of you have families. You have careers. You have lives. That could all come to an abrupt halt if you sign on to this endeavor. We want to take thirty-two of you to Lovelace Clinic for medical evaluations, but only seven of you will have what it takes. And those seven will be the Mercury Astronauts,” intone the recruiters in the clip.

Warning of the Russian advances, the clip sets the stage for America’s acceleration in space.

“Our very way of life is at stake.”

Watch the exclusive clip:

Official Clip | The Right Stuff | Disney+

www.youtube.com

The original seven astronauts who flew for Project Mercury were Scott Carpenter, Gordon Cooper, John Glenn, Gus Grissom, Wally Schirra, Deke Slayton, and of course, Alan Shepard. Also known as the Original Seven and Astronaut Group 1, they were among America’s finest military pilots. Each of the trailblazers is now deceased, but their legacy lives on.

MIGHTY MOVIES

The coolest souvenir at Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge won’t cost you a dime

After you sink money into travel, tickets, and blue milk at Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge you might not have much cash left over for a customized lightsaber or droid. Thankfully, there’s one souvenir you can take home that won’t cost you a dime: an only-available-at-Galaxy’s Edge drink coaster.

The coasters are available at Oga’s Cantina. As you can see in the images below, shared by some of the lucky few who’ve experienced the park pre-opening day, there are several different designs to choose from, with Star Wars icons like Ewoks and Banthas. Designs featuring a Rancor and the T-16 Skyhopper are also available.


There’s already a fairly vibrant market on eBay for the coasters, along with the souvenir mugs you can also pick up at the bar. There’s the Endor mug that holds the Yub Nub, a concoction of pineapple and spiced rums, citrus juices, and passion fruit, and the Cliff Dweller, a kid-friendly blend of citrus juices, coconut, hibiscus-grenadine, and Ginger Ale.

Parents who don’t want the upcharge of a souvenir mug can sip on cocktails like the Jedi Mind Trick, the Dagobah Slug Slinger, and Fuzzy Tauntaun. There are also beers brewed especially for the bar with names like White Wampa Ale, Gamorrean Ale, and Bad Motivator IPA.

And if you don’t feel like getting tipsy at a theme park, opt for a sugar rush from non-alcoholic beverages like the Hyperdrive (Punch It!), a mixture of Mountain Berry Blast Powerade, white cranberry juice, black cherry puree, and Sprite. (Your kids will probably like those too.)T

his article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Chris Pratt will star in new Navy SEAL TV show ‘The Terminal List’

Chris Pratt hasn’t been a series regular on television since his breakout role in Parks and Recreation. Since then, he’s transformed himself from goofy sidekick to leading man. From Zero Dark Thirty to Guardians of the Galaxy to Jurassic World, Pratt has proven that he can play a badass with specialized training and skills, and now he’s putting them to good use.

Returning to the role of Navy SEAL, Pratt will star as James Reece in former Navy SEAL Jack Carr’s The Terminal List, a conspiracy thriller with a straight-to-series order on Amazon.

Perhaps even more exciting is that, according to The Hollywood Reporter, “Producers plan to assemble a writing staff where half the scribes are either veterans themselves or have veterans in their families. [They’ll also have] vets and their families as part of multiple aspects of the show.”

Based on a novel by the same name, The Terminal List follows James Reece after his team was ambushed during a covert operation and he uncovers a conspiracy that runs to the highest levels of government.

Pratt partnered with executive producer and director Antoine Fuqua (Training Day, The Magnificent Seven, The Equalizer) to pitch the series, with David DiGilio (Strange Angel, Traveler, Eight Below) currently primed for writing.

Pratt took to Twitter to acknowledge the announcement:

Such a misleading picture to announce what is guaranteed to be the most intense and violent character I’ve ever played. Careful TVguide or you’ll end up on James Reece’s List.https://twitter.com/tvguide/status/1257816640839995393 …

twitter.com

Author Jack Carr pictured Pratt for the role of James Reece even before Pratt’s film career took off. “The crazy part is, usually you think of Mark Wahlberg or somebody who’d done these kinds of [roles] before but I thought of Chris Pratt. All he’d done is Parks and Rec. He had a small role in Zero Dark Thirty where he plays a SEAL…and for some reason I thought, ‘That’s the guy.’ It wasn’t the obvious choice back then…but I thought ‘this seems like a likeable guy,'” Carr shared on the Joe Rogan Experience.

Carr goes on to talk about a fellow SEAL who reached out to get an early copy of the book specifically for Pratt, who read it and optioned it right away. Years later, the adaptation is becoming a reality.

“Usually they want to get rid of the author right away when they option something but Chris wanted me involved so I got to help out on the pilot script — and it is so good,” Carr gushed.

Check out Carr’s conversation with Joe Rogan in the video below:

How Navy SEAL Author Jack Carr Got Chris Pratt’s Attention

www.youtube.com

Humor

5 military myths that Hollywood has taught us to believe

We love movies! That’s why producers spend millions of dollars making them. Sometimes the films we watch are so compelling, audience members believe every moment that is spoon fed to them is the truth.


We’re all guilty of falling for it. Many movie goers get sold on the narrative as the story unfolds across the big screen — even to the point where the performances feel true to life — and the delicate line between truth and fiction becomes too thin.

Related: 7 life lessons we learned from watching ‘Full Metal Jacket’

So check out these military myths that Hollywood puts in their movies and want us to think actually happen — but don’t fall for it.

1. Vietnam veterans are crazy

Movies and TV shows love to feature characters that had tough military careers and reverted to drinking to suppress the memories. This does happen in real life from time-to-time, but not to everyone.

Most who served during that era use their military experience to propel themselves and inspire others.

2. You throw your clean cover after a military graduation

It’s a lot of work to not only find the cover you just flung into the air but clean the grass stains off too.

Does anyone have a tide pen? (Paramount)

3. Cinematic deaths

They just don’t exist — but we tip our hats to filmmaker Oliver Stone (an Army veteran) for capturing this epic movie moment in 1986s Platoon.

How many rounds do you think he took? (Orion Pictures)

4. That one guy who can save the day

In the military, you train as a team and you fight as one, as well.

The debate isn’t if one single person can save another’s ass during battle — that frequently happens.

What we call bullsh*t on is when that single motivator springs into action and becomes the final denominator and leads them to victory as the rest of his team remains pinned down and losing the fight.

They have the need for speed (Paramount)

5. No one gets concussions…ever

We’ve seen countless movies where people get blown up by various sources of explosive ordnance and seem to recover right away (just watch any 80s movie). Since we want to believe the good guys are as tough as nails, they will just brush off the injury and carry on.

It rarely happens like that.

In fact, the traumatic brain injury has been called the signature wound of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.

Hearing a phone or bells ringing is one of the first signs of concussion (Sony)

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Articles

How Tolkien’s war experience shaped ‘The Lord of the Rings’

 

“An author cannot, of course, remain wholly unaffected by his experience.”


These are the words of arguably the most influential writer of the 20th century and WWI veteran, John Ronald Reuel “J.R.R.” Tolkien.

In June 1916, the newly commissioned lieutenant kissed his newly married wife goodbye as he boarded the transport to Calais, France. Come July 1st, one of the bloodiest battles in human history took place near the Somme River. That day, his closest friend was killed and Tolkien forever changed.

Shouldering the burden of leadership and the ever looming threat of death, by disease or the enemy, Tolkien carried on. Ultimately, it was Trench Fever that sent him home ten days before the dust settled.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con
Tolkien’s Battalion, The 1st Battalion, Lancashire Fusiliers. (Photo via Wikicommons)

Deemed no longer medically fit for service, Tolkien returned to his passion: writing. The rest is history.

When the second edition of The Lord of the Rings was released, the foreword stated: “The real war does not resemble the legendary war in its process or its conclusion.” Tolkien continued with, “But I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done so since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence. I much prefer history, true or feigned, with its varied applicability to the thought and experience of readers.”

He hated direct comparisons of his works to real world events. No real world leader is Sauron. No real world army are the orcs. And the One Ring is not a reference to the nuclear bomb.

Much of the psychology and emotions of his works, however, did pull from his time on the battlefield, most notably with the Dead Marshes. In the second volume (and film) The Two Towers, the ghoulish Gollum lead the protagonist, Frodo Baggins, through a swamp full of bloated bodies under the mud and water.

Tolkien’s biography, The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien, explained that what Frodo experienced in the Marsh was specifically based on the Battle of the Somme where Tolkien saw countless bodies across the muddy battlefield.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con
‘Somme 1 July 1916 Tragedy and Triumph’ by Andrew Robertshaw

Themes were also pulled from his leadership and the bravery of his men. Tolkien studied at Oxford and lead men from mining, milling, and weaving towns of Lancashire. In another biography, Tolkien and the Great War, Tolkien said he “felt an affinity for these working class men, but military protocol forbade him from developing friendships with ‘other ranks’.” This man-apart thematically affected many of the characters in his novels.

One of the largest changes from the novel to any film adaptation is the “Scouring of the Shire” and the mindset of Frodo after the war. In the final chapters of the last book, Saruman attacked the Shire and all of the townspeople had to defend their home.

Afterward, Frodo was left alone.

War changed him. Frodo couldn’t just return to being a happy, singing Hobbit like everyone else after the war. He’d been stabbed, poisoned, and lost a finger. Frodo, like Tolkien himself, had become “shell-shocked” after combat.

The forward of the 1991 release of The Lord of the Rings added another Tolkien quote: “The country in which I lived in childhood was being shabbily destroyed before I was ten. Recently I saw in a paper a picture of the last decrepitude of the once thriving corn-mill beside its pool that long ago seemed to me so important.”

Check out this video for more:

(YouTube | The Great War)

MIGHTY MOVIES

11 Baby Yoda gifts for the Star Wars fan in your life

Even if you haven’t watched “The Mandalorian” on Disney Plus, you’ve undoubtedly seen all the Baby Yoda memes, fan art, and backordered holiday gifts.

As soon as the adorable green creature appeared on the Disney Plus Star Wars series “The Mandalorian,” everyone — including yours truly — wanted a piece of Baby Yoda. Despite Disney being slow on the uptake for Baby Yoda merch, there are still many great holiday gifts for fans of the fuzzy adult-baby though some are only available for pre-order and will arrive in spring 2020. This means some of the gifts below will an extra surprise when Baby Yoda arrives in the mail.

Here are 11 Baby Yoda gifts for fans of “The Mandalorian”:


The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

(Disney Plus)

1. A Disney Plus subscription

In addition to hundreds of classic Disney movies, old shows, and original programming, Disney+ is the only place to see the Child in action. From day one of Disney+, “The Mandalorian” has been a hit both with audience and critics. If they don’t already have Disney+, now’s the time to get it for them.

Here’s everything to know about Disney+.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

(Etsy)

2. A Mando and Baby Yoda print

This stylish print is available in four different sizes, which makes for a great gift no matter how little space they have.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

(Disney)

3. A Baby Yoda bobblehead

At a little under four inches in height, this Funko bobblehead of the Child will fit nicely on a desk, bedside table, or even on the front dash of your car. This is available for pre-order right now and is expected to arrive May 13, 2020.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

(PopSockets)

4. A Baby Yoda PopSocket

Make your phone 10 times adorable by adding a Baby Yoda PopSocket. They’ll smile every time they pick up their phone, which is about every second.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

(Disney)

5. A super-sized Baby Yoda bobblehead

Funko is also making a 10-inch version of the Child. This one is also pre-order only and won’t be available until June 3, 2020.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

(Disney)

6. A Baby Yoda plush toy

This 10-inch plush toy is a soft and cuddly incarnation of Baby Yoda, and even comes in special packaging that’ll look like the crib from the show. This item is available for pre-order and won’t arrive until April 1, 2020.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

(Disney)

7. A Baby Yoda sweatshirt

They’ll be able to bundle up like Baby Yoda in this cozy sweatshirt. The crew neck and ribbed hems will give them that classic sweatshirt silhouette, but the Baby Yoda print is super topical and relevant for 2019.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

(Disney)

8. A Baby Yoda T-shirt

Take the Child for a spin on the front of this soft cotton tee.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

(Disney)

9. A Baby Yoda baseball tee

Or if they’re into a throwback baseball look, try this one on for size.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

(Etsy)

10. A Baby Yoda and “Hangover” mash-up T-shirt

This unexpected mash-up is a funny take on Baby Yoda and the actual baby from “The Hangover.”

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

(Etsy)

11. A Baby Yoda ugly Christmas sweater

The embroidery reads “All I want for Christmas is a Baby Yoda,” which is what all of us who have watched “The Mandalorian” want.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY MOVIES

A veteran comedian needs your help to be the host of the 2019 Oscars

Comedian Kevin Hart stepped down from hosting the coming Academy Awards Presentation, leaving the job empty for the time being. Enter Adam Keys: A veteran and triple amputee, Adam lost his limbs after suffering from an IED attack in Afghanistan that left him with a massive infection. 100 surgeries later, Keys has never lost his sense of humor.

Now, he wants to showcase that humor by stepping up to host this year’s Oscar ceremonies.


Using the hashtag #Adam4TheOscars, Keys needs the support of the veteran community to get the attention of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences via social media – he’s even created the language and video, all we need to do is help by posting it (check out that information here). He’s also created a website, Adam4TheOscars.com, and an online petition for fans to sign and register their support.

Keys isn’t aiming for the Oscar job just because he wants to further his comedy career. As the video says, he wants to show that veterans aren’t broken and people with disabilities are as capable as anyone else. He wants to showcase that on Hollywood’s biggest night, with the whole world watching.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

There’s not much Adam Keys can’t do, despite his disabilities. As the video states, he climbed Kilimanjaro and performs stand-up comedy in the DC area. Considering how he came to his injuries, his spirit and good humor are the stuff of legend. The blast broke the combat engineer’s jaw, left shoulder, humerus, and ankles. It killed three of his friends and nearly killed him, too. He wasn’t even able to speak for two months.

When he came to, he thought he was still in Afghanistan and needed to know where his rifle was. He was in a hospital in Bethesda – and the nurse had no idea what he meant. He was a wounded warrior, but now he’s ready to move past that. He says terms like “disabled veteran”and “wounded warrior” don’t apply to him.

Yes, I was wounded,” he says. “But now I’m not. I want to get rid of that title and move past it, move forward. Move us all forward.”
The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

There’s literally nothing he can’t do.

The idea for hosting the Oscars in place of Hart came to him while watching TMZ, looking for material for his standup act. The thought occurred to him, why not? He’d be nervous, but he’s nervous before any show he does.

It will be a challenge for me,” Keys says. “I love challenging myself. And I get to help people and try to move us [veterans] all forward. I don’t know where it’ll take me, but anything is a step forward. I will hope I’ve done the right thing and made people proud of me, of us. Helping people is the added benefit.
MIGHTY MOVIES

Steve Carell to make a ‘Space Force’ Netflix comedy

Today Netflix announced that they have teamed up with Greg Daniels and Steve Carell to create a show about the men and women who have to figure out how to make the Space Force a thing.

Based on their video announcement, it looks like the show is already brilliantly self-aware:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QgJR4pAPlE
Space Force | Announcement [HD] | Netflix

www.youtube.com

Space Force | Announcement [HD] | Netflix

“The goal of the new branch is to ‘defend satellites from attack’ and ‘perform other space-related tasks’…or something,” announced the teaser.

Daniels, whose producer credits include The Office, The Simpsons, and Parks and Recreation, along with co-creator Carell, were given a straight-to-series order for their new show, a work place comedy about the men and women tasked to create the Space Force. The episode count and release date have not yet been announced.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

So far, details about the actual Space Force have yet to be determined — although the announcement has launched the inception of hilarious memes — but if Netflix is smart, their new show will take a few notes from Veep, which is probably the most realistic depiction of government workings (you just know the government is even more balls crazy than the military — you just know it).

There have been a lot of discussions about whether the Space Force is actually necessary. That’s above our pay grade, but we did make a video about what missions it could actually perform. Check it out below:

This is what the Space Force would actually do

www.youtube.com

What do you think about the Space Force? Leave me a comment on Facebook and let me know.

MIGHTY HISTORY

Arnold Schwarzenegger drives the same tank he trained on in the Army

It’s not bravado, it’s not some Hollywood publicity stunt, and it sure as hell isn’t special effects. Arnold Schwarzenegger not only owns a tank, he knows how to drive it and operate it in every possible way. It wouldn’t have done him much good in the Army if he didn’t know how to use its weapons. But the tank he has is a special one – to him, anyway.

The Terminator’s tank is the same one he used to learn his tank skills while serving in the Austrian Army.


The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

Schwarzenegger (left, duh) in his Army days.

Austria is one of few countries in Europe to have mandatory civil or military service upon graduating from high school at age 18. A young Arnold Schwarzenegger, never one to shirk his duties, did what he had to do. He joined up and became a tanker in the Austrian National Army in 1965. His tank is a 1951 M-47 Patton tank, designed for the U.S. Army and Marine Corps to take the place of the Pershing tank in the early days of the Cold War.

He’s owned his tank since 1991, paying ,000 to have it shipped from Austria.

The 50-ton behemoth uses a V-12 Chrysler twin turbo gas engine and cranks out 810 horsepower for a max speed of 30 miles per hour and a whopping 2.3 miles per gallon. But Schwarzenegger doesn’t use it to get around the streets of Southern California.

He uses it to keep kids in school.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

Disadvantaged or at-risk students come to Schwarzenegger’s home to check out the tank and have fun with him in a series of after-school programs. The ones who stay in school get to drive the tank. With Arnold. And maybe even driving it over a few cars.

He even put a day in the tank up as an Omaze reward, offering donors to The After-School All-Stars Program the chance to crush stuff and “blow sh*t up” with him. Before that, the tank was housed at the Motts Military Museum in Ohio. In 2008, the then-Governor of California decided his role would soon include driving over a few jalopies to support youth enrollment. The program has been ongoing ever since.

MIGHTY CULTURE

Disney World has a special resort hotel just for US troops

Already planning that special family getaway for next summer? If you’re thinking Disney World might be a little too expensive for your family, think again. Not only does the Magic Kingdom want more visits from more troops, but they’ve even created a special VIP place inside the kingdom just for American soldiers, sailors, airmen, Marines, and yes, Coast Guardsmen.

It’s a place for all shades of green and as a matter of fact, they call it Shades of Green.


The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

Legit.

(US Army)

Situated between two golf courses, now everyone who stays at Shades of Green can feel like they’re really in the Air Force for just a little while. Military members and their families can get discounts on food, stays, and park admission while staying here too – and it’s all just a stones throw away from the Disney World parks. The newly-renovated hotel area even has a direct walkway to the park. It is the only Armed Forces Recreation Center located in the continental United States and room rates are based on rank, starting with the lowest rates for E-1 to E-6 military personnel.

Before you start booking, be sure to check the resort’s eligibility requirements. To stay at Shades of Green, you must be an active duty service member, a retired service member, a surviving spouse, or a 100 percent service-connected disabled veteran. There are more categories to list but if you’re unsure, check out the eligibility requirements before you book. Sorry, regular vets with an honorable discharge. That’s not enough to stay on the Disney World AFRC any time you want. But through the Salute to Veterans program, honorably discharged vets can stay during the months of January and September.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

Sure beats Minot in September.

(US Army)

If you’re wondering if January and September are worth the wait, keep in mind that Shades of Green has a great place in the area near Walt Disney World, very close to Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort and sits right between two PGA-level golf courses. Besides the pools, spas, and restaurants that one would expect at a Disney World Resort, the Shades of Green Resort also boasts Princess and Pirate Makeovers for the kids, arcades, tennis courts, and playgrounds (just in case the kids have a lot of extra energy to burn at the end of the day).

For the adults, the resorts boasts world-class bars and restaurants, along with a giant outlet mall filled with 50 different retail brand names. To top it all off, the resort even has an AAFES Exchange store, where you can still use your military benefits to get tax-free items for every day as well as Disney souvenirs.

Since the Shades of Green is a DoD Morale, Welfare, and Recreation facility, all proceeds from the resort go right back into keeping the facilities up and expanding its offerings.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

Aside from the usual military discounts and benefits, the reasons for staying at Shades of Green are many. The resort’s rooms are larger than most other resorts on the Disney World Complex and the rooms are exempt from the Hotel Tax imposed on all other rooms in Florida and beyond. The best part is, the agreement between the DoD and Disney means that the rooms’ quality must meet Disney standards, so you aren’t staying in some forgotten lodging room somewhere. Also included are access to Disney FastPass services and Extra Magic Hours, and the monorail is just a short hike away from nearby Polynesian Springs.

So now there’s no excuse not to go to Disney World. You don’t even have to leave behind the comforts of the base or post when AAFES and MWR are traveling with you.

Articles

10 reasons James Bond is the worst spy ever

By now, we should all understand the life of Ian Fleming’s signature British spy is nothing like the real world of clandestine international espionage agents. The Silver Screen Bond is less clandestine, more clandestish. Even so, there are probably a million reasons any guy would want to be James Bond, and most of those reasons are why he’s a terrible spy.


1. He uses his real name

Secrecy is the most necessary element in the world of spies, so it’s a bad idea to use a real name. Even if James Bond is a cover name, he still uses the same cover name every time. Which is pretty much the same thing and seems like terrible espionage. Knowing how great Bond is with disguises, if he had to make up his own cover name every time, it would probably be just as useless.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con
Bond is supposed to be Japanese here. No that’s not a joke.

He’s much better at thinking of bad puns after killing people. No wonder he needs so much help on every mission. Helping Bond can be hazardous to your health. For instance, a guy named Quarrel helps Bond throughout Dr. No and 007 lets Quarrel get torched by an armored flamethrower. Valentin Zukovsy saves Bond, his missions, and the world banking system in two films and Bond lets him get shot to death. And then, like a uniquely British STD, there’s the slew of women who die after a night with him.

2. He cares more about bedding women than any mission

That 007 cares more about sleeping with women than completing (or starting) a mission comes up more than once. In fact, in the first few movies, he doesn’t start his super-important missions until after sleeping with some woman he just met.

That those women usually don’t make it to the end credits is more evidence that James Bond should not be the clandestine agent Great Britain depends on for its security. It’s almost as if these women had to sleep with James Bond.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con
That’s the actual line from the movie.

If Bond cared about them, they would probably have a higher survival rate. The only woman Bond ever saved without banging was M, and he couldn’t get away fast enough. It literally took 5 seconds. This also probably why she survives to be in other movies.

If Bond doesn’t care about them, he sure takes it personally every time one of them dies or betrays him — another terrible trait for a spy. Natalya Simonova was one the best Bond girls, but driving a tank around St. Petersberg trying to save her is a great way to blow your cover. Speaking of which…

3. He blows his cover on every mission

In Dr. No, Bond spends half the movie trying to convince an islander to help him infiltrate Dr. No’s radioactive island. He finally does and they sneak on in the middle of the night, only for Bond to give them away first thing the next morning when he sees a woman in a bikini.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con

In Goldfinger, he’s supposed to monitor Goldfinger, but instead of that, he immediately breaks into Goldfinger’s suite, introduces himself to Goldfinger’s employee, taunts him via radio, forces him to lose thousands of dollars, then bangs his employee! Is anyone surprised when Goldfinger knocks Bond out in his own kitchen? In my opinion, Jill got dipped in gold paint because she makes poor life choices.

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con
At least she’s wearing clean underwear.

That was Goldfinger’s employee. In Thunderball, 007 sleeps with his mark’s girlfriend.

4. He drinks like it’s his job

The drinking. All the drinking. The guy is clearly an alcoholic. In the U.S., you can’t even get a top secret security clearance with that much alcohol use, let alone be the top field agent. How does Bond not die in alcohol-related incidents? Or of cirrhosis?

The ‘Mercury Seven’ astronauts series teased by NatGeo & Disney+ at Comic-Con
One thing at a time, man!

He needs booze to do anything. Sure, we can give him a pass for having a drink while gambling. That helps maintain an effective cover. But how many does he need for that purpose? This is the guy who keeps a bottle of chilled champagne in his tricked-out Aston-Martin just in case he has a lady in need of an emergency picnic. And he pops the compartment open in a move that would make Glenn Quagmire proud.

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With the exception of Timothy Dalton’s chronically misdressed Bond (he wears a shabby wool suit to work and a tuxedo to the carnival), 007 always looks impeccable. How does Bond always manage to look so suave and clean? With as much as he drinks and spends all night every night shagging some new girl, there’s no reason he shouldn’t be tired, unshaven, and smelling like liquor.

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ARCHER IS A DOCUMENTARY

 5. He gets captured all the time

Dr. No captures Bond and serves him breakfast. Bond immediately allows himself to be drugged by drinking the coffee like it was life-giving vodka. When he’s trying to turn a Russian general’s girlfriend in The Living Daylights, he CHUGS the martini she gives him. Drugged again. It’s a miracle he ever escapes anything alive. Poisoned vodka should have been enough to kill 007 in 1965 but then again, alcohol poisoning should have done him in a dozen times.

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This should have been the end of every movie.

Alec Trevelyan captures him twice. In Afghanistan, he escapes capture from the Soviets, only to be immediately captured by the Muhajeddin. Elecktra King doesn’t have any special powers or weapons and she captures 007 AND M. Goldfinger captured 007 and carted him around the world for at least a week. James Bond drove up to Harlem in the 1970s, tailing a gangster, then walked right into his nightclub. He was captured and held at gunpoint in about thirty seconds. Later in the same movie (Live and Let Die) he does it again.

6. He never notices the mole in MI6

Every time he travels, every where he goes, the enemy always knows his exact schedule. It doesn’t matter if it’s Eastern Europe, Turkey, or Jamaica, enemy agents always know when his flight arrives and what the world’s top secret superspy looks like. It also doesn’t matter who the enemy is, SPECTRE, Russia, or Dr. No.  Ignoring M16’s mole entirely, Bond spends a lot of tim in Dr. No trying to interrogate his people. When he finally subdues a geology professor who tires to kill him, 007 just shoots him instead of asking him anything.

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In Casino Royale, he doesn’t even bother to check what bank account Vesper Lynd transfers the money to. That could have been a great clue into what was really going on.

7. He rarely searches his hotel rooms for thugs, bugs, or anything

In Goldfinger, Bond blows up a drug lab and then walk right to the bar (surprise) to bang a dancer (big surprise). He walks into her room and starts undressing, missing the thug waiting to kill him. He only notices in the reflection on her eyeball. As the attacker drops the blow, he spins around and lets the lady take it.

In From Russia With Love, after not being in his hotel for two days, he just waltzes in, disrobes and orders breakfast. He doesn’t search for bugs or bombs or anything. THERE’S SOMEONE IN HIS BED and he doesn’t even notice. When he finds out its a woman, He even allows himself to be filmed having sex with her, his Russian informant, who is double crossing him.

It’s a good thing SPECTRE is as incompetent as he is. Even Blofeld, the most epic of all his nemeses, met an ignominious end when Bond dropped his WHEELCHAIR down a smokestack.

8. He hangs out with the supervillains he’s supposed to take out

In Live and Let Die, 007 disarms and captures a woman by burning the assailant’s drawn gun hand with a cigar while breaking into his hotel room. She says she’s CIA… and that’s good enough for James Bond, even though she can’t do any actual spy stuff or shoot a weapon. He sleeps with her anyway, then spends the next day fishing with her.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but fishing maybe?

Bond spends DAYS with Pussy Galore and Goldfinger without trying to escape even once. He drinks with Emilio Largo, vacations with Electra King, and bangs media baron Elliot Carver’s wife while staying at his house in Hamburg.

9. He’s a huge drain on the taxpayer

And doesn’t James Bond live a really lavish lifestyle for spy? Tuxedos, Aston-Martins, Gambling in the Riviera, not to mention all these other exotic locales? Why doesn’t SPECTRE set up shop in places that are little more out of reach for the West, like Sudan or North Korea? The Bahamas seems like a terrible place to start an evil plan or terrorist group. Bond’s life is one of tuxedos, luxury cars, and champagne.

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Cost Benefit analysis: how much does it cost for James Bond to stop these villains vs. What the villains actually want. How much was that invisible car? How many people died to get Bond in Space? At some point we have to wonder if it wouldn’t be cheaper just to let the bad guys win one. But be advised: When he doesn’t get his way, he rebels and becomes an enemy of the state.

10. He destroys everything

He destroys national monuments, kills local cops, and troops who are only doing their job, even when Russia isn’t the bad guy. It’s not like the cops know who he is, they’re just trying to protect the innocent. Someone let James Bond know Blue Lives Matter. And he can’t just kill someone. It takes four cars, two helicopters, and a train to get to the bad guy. Even when he’s assigned to get one guy, 007 blows up half an african embassy to do it (and gets caught on camera in the process).

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Even if Bond is a cover name used by many agents, he just blew his cover (see reason #3).

On that note, who is the bad guy here? Isn’t M16 supposed to be supporting justice and peace? Instead their main guy is blowing up dams and trashing cities. He drove a tank through an apartment in St. Petersburg.

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Because f*ck you and everything you love.

If he pulled this stuff in the U.S. it would be on Fox News in heartbeat, and there goes his cover. He ruins weddings, birthdays, and lives.

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And especially vacations. Rue Brittania.

BONUS: Q Branch isn’t that great either.

Pen grenade? Awesome. Magnet and/or laser watch? Perfect. Crocodile suit? Are you kidding me, Q?

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MIGHTY MOVIES

007 fans are really hating this ‘No Time to Die’ movie poster

James Bond fans spent this weekend celebrating James Bond Day (the anniversary of the release of “Dr. No” in 1962) analyzing the first poster for Daniel Craig’s final turn as the iconic spy. Many of them were, shall we say, less than thrilled.

The poster shows a tuxedo-clad Craig standing in front of a weathered turquoise wall, looking off into the distance. The title of the film is printed in large, white letters in a distinctive typeface.


It is, all in all, a fine poster. It doesn’t reveal any significant information about the film or particularly blow us away with its aesthetics, but it is in line with the first posters of other modern Bond films, which one fan account pointed out usually feature just the lead actor and the title of the film.

And yet, there’s something about this poster that’s very unpleasant to the kind of folks who voice their opinions about James Bond movie posters on the internet.

A bad movie can have a great poster and a great movie can have a bad poster, so it doesn’t make much sense to get riled up over a poster because you think it means the movie will be like it, particularly in this case when the poster doesn’t offer much in terms of clues to what the film will actually be like.

One fan account summed up the premature panic around the poster succinctly with the right message to stressed-out fans: stay loose.

“No Time to Die” will be released on April 8, 2020, the day that the strong opinions about this poster will presumably be crowded out by strong opinions of the actual movie, which will then give way to even stronger opinions about who the next Bond should be.

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.

MIGHTY HISTORY

This film is the beautiful story of a WWII romance told through love letters

On May 8, 1945, Navy Seabee Andrew Del Regno sent a letter to his wife from the front lines of the Pacific Front of World War II. It was one of some 600 letters the couple sent each other over the course of the war. His wife, Helen Del Regno, who was home in Nyack, New York, received it much later — after the end of the war in Europe. The war against the Japanese Empire would continue until September of that year.

Decades later, their son, filmmaker Vic Del Regno, would meticulously compile those letters to tell the story of his parents’ undying love for one another in the background of one of the most turbulent times in American history, World War II. That effort culminated with the younger Del Regno’s hour-long documentary, Till Then: A Journey Through World War II Love Letters.


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The books have a different title, ‘Who Knew?’

(Photo by Vic Del Regno)

Vic Del Regno found his parents’ correspondence in the garage of their New York home. He had them compiled in leather-bound books to preserve them for posterity. Upon finding them, he was inspired to retrace his father’s service in the Pacific Theater on a trip that took him to legendary places in American military history, including Guadalcanal and the Solomon Islands.

In the book’s introduction, Vic Del Regno writes that he wanted to capture “the deep loneliness and hardship many couples experienced during the war, caused by being separated by thousands of miles and long periods of time. This is a real life story, taken from the letters, that ties together the elements of love, betrayal, forgiveness, tragedy, and hope.”

The book, entitled Who Knew? A World War II Journey Through Love Letters, was changed because Del Regno wanted the film’s title to reflect how his parents signed off their letters, with a reference to a popular song of the era by the Mills Brothers, ‘Till Then.’

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The Del Regno’s original correspondence, saved and bound in 12 notebooks.

(Vic Del Regno)

The letters pull no punches, documenting the war’s grim realities, along with the pain and hardships of a relationship torn apart by a seemingly unending, brutal war. Despite their dismal situation, you can also see the hope brought by each letter and the importance of receiving correspondence from home for a sailor deployed thousands of miles away.

Vic Del Regno wanted to capture the sacrifices made, not just by his parents or by the soldiers and sailors who fought the war, but by all Americans at a time when victory was anything but assured. He also hopes that it might shed some light on the struggles faced by those troops (and their families) who are fighting today’s wars overseas.

“It reaches the many sides of war experienced by those who have served and those who were left behind,” writes Jack Sprengel of the Seabee Museum and Memorial Park. “History repeats itself in many ways and this film tells a story just as important as the battle stories told.”

Vic Del Regno’s untiring work is emblematic of the motto his Seabee father shared with his fellow veterans:

“With willing hearts and skillful hands the difficult we do at once, the impossible takes a bit longer.”

It took Vic Del Regno just five years and now, that labor of love – the letters of his parents – are preserved forever in the U.S. National Archives.

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