Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY HISTORY

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

President George H.W. Bush occupied the White House during tumultuous times, conducting military operations in Panama and the Persian Gulf and grappling with the dissolution of the Soviet Union in just four years.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun, he told the CIA officers tasked with briefing him each day.

As vice president and president, Bush took special interest in the intelligence he was provided and in the personnel who provided it, according to a remembrance in the most recent edition of the CIA’s Studies in Intelligence journal, written by its managing editor, Andres Vaart, a 30-year CIA veteran.


In a 1995 article in the journal, one of Bush’s briefers, Charles A. Peters, recounts how, on Jan. 21, 1989, the day after his inauguration, Bush injected levity into one of the more severe daily tasks the president takes on.

“When the President had finished reading, he turned to me and said with deadly seriousness, ‘I’m quite satisfied with the intelligence support, but there is one area in which you’ll just have to do better.’ The [director of Central Intelligence, William Webster] visibly stiffened,” Peters wrote, according to Vaart.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

Chief Justice William Rehnquist administering the oath of office to President George H. W. Bush during Inaugural ceremonies at the United States Capitol. Jan. 20, 1989.

(Library of Congress)

“‘The Office of Comic Relief,’ the new President went on, ‘will have to step up its output.’ With an equally straight face I promised the President we would give it our best shot,” Peters wrote. “As we were leaving the Oval Office, I wasted no time in reassuring the Director that this was a lighthearted exchange typical of President Bush, and that the DCI did not have to search out an Office of Comic Relief and authorize a major shakeup.”

The CIA staffers compiling the PDB included a “Sign of the Times” section, which included amusing or unusual anecdotes meant to lighten otherwise heavy reading.

“Libyan intelligence chief recently passed message via Belgians laying out case for better relations with US and expressing desire to cooperate against terrorism… even suggested he would like to contribute to your re-election campaign,” one January 1992 entry read, according to Peters.

“French company says it has won contract to export vodka to Russia… deal apparently stems from shortage of bottles and bottling equipment… no word on whether Paris taking Russian wine in return,” a July 1992 entry read.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

US President George H. W. Bush and Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev.

(George Bush Presidential Library and Museum)

Bush’s single term stretched over the final days of the Soviet Union, possibly giving CIA staffers the opportunity to draw on their cache of Soviet jokes to liven up the daily briefing.

Bush’s briefs also included updates about his counterparts. From time to time, Vaart writes, Bush would call one of those leaders to chat about something interesting they were doing.

For staffers working on the President’s Daily Brief between 1981 and 1993, during Bush’s time in office, “no labor was too intense to produce the needed story and no hours were too many or too late to make certain we … made it good and got it right,” Vaart writes.

“This may have been true with later presidents,” Vaart adds, “but what stood out with President Bush was that we … knew well that the effort was truly appreciated.”

“We also saw through those interactions, as though at first hand, the humor and personality of a man who deeply cared about the people who served him,” he writes.

Bush’s mirth was widely recounted in the days after his death on Nov. 30, 2018. Friends and colleagues remembered his enthusiasm for jokes — at his expense, like when he invited Dana Carvey to the White House to impersonate him after his 1992 electoral defeat, and at the expense of others, like the “award” he gave aides who fell asleep during meetings, named after national-security adviser and frequent dozer Brent Scowcroft.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Former Army brat uses national platform to elevate issues of race, mental health

One of FOX News Channel’s most prominent news anchors is hosting a primetime special Sunday on race in America.

Harris Faulkner, co-host of Outnumbered and solo anchor of Outnumbered Overtime, elevated a number of critical subjects to the forefront since the onset of the coronavirus pandemic, including a virtual town hall about COVID-19’s impact on mental health with retired Marine Johnny Joey Jones. This Sunday, FNC will debut a primetime one-hour special entitled Harris Faulkner Presents: The Fight for America. The broadcast will spotlight discussions surrounding the national conversation about race in America and the path forward for the country, according to a press release.


Faulkner is a founding member of the Diversity and Inclusion Council and Mentor Match programs at FOX News, helping to develop the next generation of diverse and dynamic television news talent. She brings a global perspective to her role as a journalist, too, having grown up in a military household. Faulkner explored her father’s Army service in a bestselling book titled 9 Rules of Engagement: A Military Brat’s Guide to Life and Success.

“I got to see someone do what he loved and that was a very powerful motivator in my life, from as young as I can remember. My dad was a combat pilot, Army, late stages of the Vietnam War — did two tours. And that was hard duty no matter when you went, but the political tide in the country made it doubly hard. He obviously, like me, African American fighting abroad in a war that wasn’t popular, came home and it was tough,” Faulkner said.

Like most military families, she moved frequently as a child, living around the U.S. and overseas in Germany. She was just a little girl when her father returned from multiple deployments to Vietnam.

“He did back-to-back tours, and these were pretty long. And I say all of that because the first layer of patriotic spirit for me came when dad returned home and those first few years of growing up around somebody who, I witnessed. I don’t remember every second of the struggle that was going on in America — both politically and racially and civil rights and all of that — but it’s been told to me throughout the years. My dad would say, ‘Yup, there were struggles in the U.S.A. and I fought in a war that maybe not everybody backed, but I was fighting for a country that I believed in — and I knew needed me’. And he said, I would rather fight for a country that’s going through struggle and have it be the United States of America than any other place in the world. He said because we are a nation of potential,” Faulkner said.

The ideals her father taught her about growing up American continue to shape Faulkner throughout her life, she said. It was in the fabric of their home.

“I’m someone who truly believes this nation has enormous, unmatched potential. And no matter what we deal with, we have an incredible way of making it through the fire and to the other side in a way that people watch us and say, how did they do that and how do we incorporate that into what we got going on,” she said.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

And Faulkner has used her own national platform to address tough issues facing the nation at this critical time, like the coronavirus pandemic.

“We have the kind of contagion that coronavirus can’t match. Our contagion is resilience and love and potential. And I really do see us as a beacon of light around the world. We are facing this pandemic and there is no overestimating it. This is tough. This is tough if you’re trying to not get the virus or if you’ve had it and you’re trying to fight it off, or if someone you love has had it and was not successful. It is really hard,” Faulkner said.

She adds that despite the current challenges, “we will come out stronger and we are going to have to innovate and create and invent. This is a scientific challenge for us, but I believe we can do it.”

This Sunday, Faulkner tackles the other trending topic facing Americans about the state of race relations in the country. The one-hour primetime special includes a series of virtual guests for an open discussion on the complex issues, including Sen. Tim Scott (R-SC), former NFL star Herschel Walker, Fraternal Order of Police Vice President Joe Gamaldi and Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban. Topics to be discussed include the nationwide protests following the murder of George Floyd, the Black Lives Matter movement, debates over defunding the police, removing historical statues, and more.

Harris Faulkner Presents: The Fight for America airs live July 19th at 10 p.m. EST.

Faulkner started her career with FNC in 2005. Nearly two years ago, she was given another hour to anchor with a brand-new show called Outnumbered Overtime. The show debuted at #1 in its timeslot, where it has remained since launching with average viewership of 1.7 million per week.

Follow Harris Faulkner’s updates, including of her work and candid family outings, at https://www.instagram.com/harrisfaulkner.

This article originally appeared on Military Families Magazine. Follow @MilFamiliesMag on Twitter.

popular

This is how missing or captured troops get promoted

Bowe Bergdahl was Pfc. Bergdahl when he walked off his post in Paktika Province, Afghanistan, and was captured by the Taliban. Five years later, however, when the White House exchanged five Taliban detainees for his release, he was Sgt. Bergdahl.


According to the Department of Defense, prisoners of war and those under missing status continue to be considered for promotion along with their contemporaries. They must be considered for promotion to the next highest grade when they become eligible.

For enlisted, it is based on time in grade and time in service. The eligibility for officers is based on the date of rank in their current grade.

A notable story is of then-Cmdr. James Stockdale. When he was captured and sent to the Hanoi Hilton, he was the most senior POW and so was the ranking officer among the prisoners there. When Lt. Col. ‘Robbie’ Risner was also captured, he outranked Stockdale by time in grade.

Later, a newly captured naval pilot informed Stockdale of his promotion to captain, he assumed command again.

 

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush
Captured U.S. troops were paraded through the streets of Hanoi. Even living through Hell, none broke. (U.S. Air Force)

 

This continues for prisoners of war but stops for those on missing status when they are presumed dead under Title 37 of the U.S. Code, section 555.

This happened with 1st Lt. John Leslie Ryder. His aircraft, nicknamed “Bird Dog,” went missing during a visual reconnaissance flight during the Vietnam War on June 9, 1970.

During the flight, the crew failed to report in by radio and calls were not answered. The search could not be mounted until the next day. The search continued until the 19th to no avail. A year to the day later, Lt. Ryder was promoted to captain.

 

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush
Service photo of Capt. John Leslie Ryder (Image via Together We Served)

Payment is also changed from regular enlistments. Instead of being involved in DFAS, the payment is authorized by Congress and made directly through the Secretary of the Treasury, tax-free. Any earnings, leave and money, are still given to the individual at their appropriate rank and are held until return.

There is also no limit on leave accrual, meaning it is well deserved for the returning service member to take all of the leave at two and-a-half days per month.

MIGHTY TRENDING

Marine mortarmen hammer ISIS fighters in new photos

“We’ve defeated ISIS,” President Donald Trump told Reuters on Aug. 20, 2018. “ISIS is essentially defeated.”

Despite Trump’s triumphant statement, ISIS still has as many as 30,000 fighters in Iraq and Syria, according to the Pentagon.

As such, US Marines are still in Syria advising and providing fire support to SDF fighters, and sometimes reportedly at times even getting into direct fire fights (they’re also in country to deter Russian and Iranian influence, which the US largely denies or neglects to mention).

The US Air Force released some pretty incredible photos of US Marines training for those missions.

Check them out below:


Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

US Marines fire a mortar during training in support of Operation Inherent Resolve in Syria, July 23, 2018.

(US Air Force photo)

“We can confirm this picture is of U.S. Marines conducting training on a 120mm mortar system in Syria on or about July 23, 2018,” Operation Inherent Resolve told Business Insider in an email.

The 120mm mortar has a range of up to five miles and a blast radius of 250 feet when it lands on a target. The Marines are using these indirect fire weapons to strike at ISIS positions and vehicles.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

US Marines fire a mortar during training in support of Operation Inherent Resolve in Syria, July 23, 2018.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

Although OIR wouldn’t reveal where these pictures of US Marine mortarmen were taken, this picture was also taken by the same Air Force photog a few days earlier near Dawr az Zawr.

Dawr az Zawr is in eastern Syria, east of the Euphrates River, which has largely been a deconfliction line between US and Russian troops, and where US forces also killed about 200 Russian mercenaries in February 2018 that encroached into their area attempting to seize an oil field.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

US Marines fire a mortar during training in support of Operation Inherent Resolve in Syria, July 23, 2018.

US Marines fire a mortar during training in support of Operation Inherent Resolve in Syria, July 23, 2018.

While ISIS still has a presence in Syria, the civil war in Syria appears to be in its last throes, as Syrian President Bashar Assad has retaken much ground and even recently began issuing death certificates for missing political prisoners taken before and during the civil war.

Source: Washington Post

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

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This wounded airman saved his team (with an A-10’s help)

Air Force Tech. Sgt. Robert Gutierrez is a Joint Terminal Attack Controller (JTAC) who was awarded the Air Force Cross for heroism during an intense firefight in Afghanistan in 2009.


JTACS are military personnel who direct combat support aircraft like the A-10, calling in air strikes to support ground operations.

Gutierrez was part of a nighttime raid with an Army special forces detachment to capture a high-value Taliban target, a “brutal” man living outside of the city of Herat in Western Afghanistan.

The team was attacked with heavy fire from a numerically superior and battle-hardened enemy force. Gutierrez was shot in the chest, his team leader was shot in the leg, and the ten-man element was pinned down in a building with no escape route.

“We were just getting hammered, getting peppered,” he recalls in a six-minute interview. He talked to his team’s leader who wanted to drop bombs on the enemy targets.

“If you put a bomb on that it’ll kill us all,” he told his leader. “Guys are getting wounded. Our best chance is a 30mm high-angle strafe.”

Gutierrez is having this discussion as bullets pepper the walls behind him, as a medic works on his chest wound, a through-and-through which the medic couldn’t find the entrance wound. He is also still holding off Taliban fighters with his M4 rifle.

“This is danger close, I need your initials,” he told his team lead.

“How close?”

“Less than 10 meters.”

Gutierrez needed the support of an A-10 Thunderbolt II, aka “Warthog,” whose 30mm GAU-8 Cannon rounds are the size of beer bottles, to make a precision strike on the attacking insurgents.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush
An A-10 bombing run, too explosive to support Gutierrez’ team (U.S. Air Force photo)

Capt. Ethan Sabin, an A-10 pilot based at Kandahar Airfield, asked a nearby F-16 pilot to mark the target with the laser on his targeting pod.

The A-10 attack was so close, Gutierrez’s right eardrum burst and his left eardrum was severely damaged from the noise. He lost five-and-a-half pints of blood getting away from the combat zone.

After the first A-10 strafing, the medic had to re-inflate Gutierrez’ collapsed lung so he could direct two more strafing runs. For four hours, the team held off the enemy fighters and escaped the battlespace.

To give an idea of the kind of interactions JTACs have with close-air support pilots in the heat of the moment, the video below is a prime example of the extraordinary actions Gutierrez and airmen like him perform on the battlefield every day.


Feature image: USAF photo

MIGHTY HISTORY

How a simple name change connects Marine special operators to their past

Given how long America has been fighting wars, one would think that special operations were among the first thing Americans developed and perfected. But it wasn’t — not really. The tactics used in the Revolutionary War were considered guerrilla tactics and U.S. troops were the first to openly fire at officers.


This did not endear America to the rest of the world community.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

Despite this long history, America’s special operations community is relatively young. During World War II, the British created their famous Commando units. Seeing this, President Franklin Roosevelt asked his military leadership for something similar to what the British were doing.

The Marine Corps was first tasked with creating such an elite group. Already the smallest branch and specialized in amphibious landings, they created two battalions: the 1st Raider Battalion, commanded by Lt. Col. Merritt A. “Red Mike” Edson, and the 2nd Raider Battalion, commanded by Maj. Evans Carlson.

Related: 3 key differences between Recon Marines and Marine Raiders

Each man had their own ideas on how they would command their units. For example, the 2nd Raiders had a much more relaxed posture when it came to military discipline, quickly creating unit cohesion.

Many in the Marine Corps’ hierarchy didn’t like the idea of a small Marine Corps unit — most believed that the Raiders did the exact same thing as the rest of the Corps. The major difference was, however, that the Raiders worked as a small force and didn’t participated in big landings. In fact, they would land during the night and move into the Japanese-held territories, creating havoc, disrupting enemy supply lines, and taking them completely by surprise.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush
Marine Raiders on Tulagi Island.

One of the biggest successes of the Marine Raiders was how they worked in support of bigger forces — a tactic developed to perfection today by modern special operators.

The Marine Raiders were later turned into the 4th Marine Division in 1944. The Raiders were only around for two years, but are heralded as some of the best warriors in the whole Pacific Campaign. The Marine Raiders left a huge legacy for special operations in America.

In 2014, Commandant of the Marine Corps, Gen. James Amos announced that the 1st Marine Special Operation Battalion would be renamed the 1st Raider Battalion, connecting the Raiders of the past with the Raiders of today.

popular

Sea Story: My run-in with NCIS

One hundred and fifty days ago was the last time we saw land. At ninety consecutive days at sea, the CO can authorize beer call onboard a U.S. Naval vessel. Ours didn’t.

One hundred and fifty consecutive days is the reason why sailors drink the way they do when they hit port. One hundred and fifty consecutive days is the story behind my only run in with NCIS.


Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush
You’ll get tired of this view by month 2.
(U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Devin M. Langer)
 

The mundane sounds of the ship’s bells and whistles could no longer be heard in the distance, but were instead replaced by the zips and zooms of families of five astride scooters cutting through traffic. After a grueling three-hour wait for liberty call, we made it off the ship, let loose on the tropical port.

The first thing I learned in my humble beginnings as a young sailor was to order the biggest alcoholic drink I could find, as soon as I could find it. Today, my five-course meal was four orders of shots and a burger. After months of MIDRATS and MREs, my stomach was torn. Like a true intellectual, instead of indulging on local culture and foods, I stuck to what I know — a place we have back home: Hooters. I traveled 7,326 miles to dine at a fine establishment that I often frequent in the states.

Two shots in and the ship’s coordinates were starting to fade quick. After months of mandatory sobriety, the alcohol quickly replaces the blood in my veins. The bad-decision hamster wheel starts turning and, suddenly, sh*t ideas become the best ideas. I stand in line at the ATM behind a white expat that’s surrounded by girls that were obviously paid to be there, rubbing his back as he withdraws more cash. I punch in my four-digit pin to see seven months of tax-free, pathetic petty officer pay screaming at me, eager to be blown on warm beer, greasy food, and squalid strippers.

Earlier that day, getting briefed on liberty, we were told thatthe most important thing to remember was to never leave your battle buddy. If you don’t check in with the same person you checked out with, you might as well become a deserter. Find yourself a dish-washing job, maybe a wife,and learn the native language. You’d be stupid to do it, but you wouldn’t be first.

Four shots in and we’re stumbling down the streets, stopping at various times to piss the letters “USA” sloppily down alleyways and all over buildings — exactly the opposite of what we were briefed to do. It’s like trying to wrangle kittens. The most responsible of us (or, the guy most motivated to see strippers) is the voice of reason that keeps pushing the group forward. After a seemingly ten-mile hump, we arrive at the gate: AREA 51.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush
Kinda like this… but with strippers.

 

Inside, the smell of a fog machine and cheap perfume attacks my nose. The spotlight is a flood light, the light show looks like a couple of blind kids playing laser tag, and the girls look like a lineup of failed The Bachelor contestants. There was a girl dancing on stage, moving offbeat to the loudest techno song in the world, in between four unused poles. Unprovoked, I suddenly found myself onstage beside the dancer, doing my best Magic Mike impression.

Six shots in and I’m swinging my shirt over my head like a rodeo clown with money stuffed into the lining of my pants. The whole club is cheering me on — the strippers, the servers, everyone. When the song ends, my drunk ass follows the dancer into the back room. I hear a mix of laughs and excited screams coming from all the girls and the madams that are getting them ready. They drop what they’re doing to run over and take a picture with me.

In my drunken stupor, I assumed it was my handsome good looks and my devilish charms. It wasn’t — it was the big, red target on my back. A giant, green money sign.

We rented out a private room for pennies on the dollar. The drinks were cheaper in buckets and we got a complimentary bottle of kerosene disguised as vodka. The drinks came with dancers, and so the night rolled on. Loud music, bad drinks, and worse company.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush
NCIS Special Agents in action.
(US Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Thomas Mudd)

Out of nowhere the door flies open.

“NCIS!”

Flashlights wave in our faces, screaming girls run off half naked, and there we are, a circle of drunk sailors thinking we’re f*cked. The team of agents clears the entire club, going room by room, scanning for sailors. My heart is pounding. Sobriety has never hit harder. The brief on off-limits areas flashes into my head, suddenly crystal clear:

Area 51 – OFF LIMITS TO ALL U.S. PERSONNEL.

F*ck. The club manager runs around frantically, trying to collect his money. A couple agents ask us if we’re squared away with our tab. We are and, against all protocol, he sneaks us out the back.

With a throbbing head and fuzzy memories of the night before, I pop the first of many Advils of the day and make my way through the hangar bay of the ship to morning passdown and shift change. I walk by faces I recognize from the night before and I pull down the front of my cover and gaze away.

Over fifty sailors were put on restriction, a handful of them were processed out of the Navy.

It was the only run in I’ve ever had with an NCIS Special Agent and he saved my ass.

Editor’s note: So, you think your sea story is better? If you’ve got a tale that the world needs to hear, send it our way.

Articles

This is how the remains of a WWII hero made it home after 75 years

A New York military aviation researcher got more than she bargained for on a dream trip to a battle-scarred South Pacific island — the chance to help solve the mystery of an American soldier listed as missing in action from World War II.


Donna Esposito, who works at the Empire State Aerosciences Museum in upstate Glenville, visited Guadalcanal in the Solomon Islands this spring and was approached by a local man who knew of WWII dog tags and bones found along a nearby jungle trail. The man asked if Esposito could help find relatives of the man named on the tags: Pfc. Dale W. Ross.

After she returned home, Esposito found that Ross had nieces and nephews still living in Ashland, Oregon. A niece and a nephew accompanied Esposito on her late July return to Guadalcanal, where they were given his dog tags and a bag containing the skeletal remains.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush
Marines rest in this field during the Guadalcanal campaign. (Photo under Public Domain.)

Although it’s not certain yet the remains are the missing soldier’s, the nephew who made the Guadalcanal trip is confident they will be a match.

“It’s Uncle Dale. I have no doubt,” said Dale W. Ross, who was named after his relative.

The elder Ross, a North Dakota native whose family moved to southern Oregon, was the third of four brothers who fought in WWII. Assigned to the Army’s 25th Infantry Division, he was listed as MIA in January 1943, during the final weeks of the Guadalcanal campaign. He was last seen in an area that saw heavy fighting around a Japanese-held hilltop.

When the Japanese evacuated Guadalcanal three weeks later, it was the first major land victory in the Allies’ island-hopping campaign in the Pacific.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush
Members from Coast Guard Air Station Barbers Point and the Defense POW/MIA Accounting Agency transfer a case of unidentified remains believed to be military personnel onto a Coast Guard HC-130 Hercules airplane to be transferred to Oahu from the Solomon Islands, Aug. 9, 2017. (U.S. Coast Guard photo by Petty Officer 2nd Class Tara Molle.)

Ross’ relatives handed the remains — about four dozen bones, including rib bones — to a team from the Pentagon agency that identifies American MIAs found on foreign battlefields. On August 7, the 75th anniversary of the start of the Battle of Guadalcanal, an American honor guard carried a flag-draped coffin containing the bones onto a US Coast Guard aircraft.

The Pentagon said the remains were taken to Hawaii for DNA testing.

“Until a complete and thorough analysis of the remains is done by our lab, we are unable to comment on the specific case associated to the turnover,” said Maj. Jessie Romero of the Defense POW/MIA Accounting Agency.

The other three Ross brothers made it back home, including the oldest, Charles, who served aboard a Navy PT boat in the Solomons and visited Guadalcanal in the vain attempt to learn about his brother Dale’s fate.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush
Gen. Robert B. Neller lays a wreath during the 75th Anniversary of the Battle for Guadalcanal ceremony. (U.S. Army photo by Staff Sgt. Armando R. Limon, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division.)

Ross’ niece and nephew made their trip last month with Esposito and Justin Taylan, founder of Pacific Wrecks, a New York-based nonprofit involved in the search for American MIAs from WWII. They met the family whose 8-year-old son found the dog tags and remains. They also were taken to the spot on a slope in the jungle where the discovery was made.

“I never met this man, but I was a little emotional,” Ross, 71, said of the experience.

For Esposito, 45, finding evidence that could solve a lingering mystery in an American family’s military history is the most meaningful thing she’s ever done in her life.

“I can’t believe this has all happened,” she said. “It has been an amazing journey.”

MIGHTY MOVIES

How to forge your own blade like Rambo

In honor of the release of Rambo: Last Blood, Lionsgate invited me out to Adam’s Forge in Los Angeles SO THAT I COULD LITERALLY BEND STEEL TO MY VERY WILL. A group of us had the chance to forge knives out of railroad spikes, much like Sylvester Stallone does in the film.

It. Was. Awesome.

If you’ve never had the chance to do something like this, then my friend I beg of you, get thee to a forge. It’ll make you feel alive.


Rambo: Last Blood (2019 Movie) New Trailer— Sylvester Stallone

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Rambo: Last Blood Trailer

Almost four decades after he drew first blood, Sylvester Stallone is back as one of the greatest action heroes of all time, John Rambo. Now, Rambo must confront his past and unearth his ruthless combat skills to exact revenge in a final mission. A deadly journey of vengeance, RAMBO: LAST BLOOD marks the last chapter of the legendary series.

“A hammer can be used to build or destroy,” observed Aram, the artist in residence at Adam’s Forge — and our lead instructor for the day.

He started out with safety information (“Assume everything is hot. The forge can be up to 2200 degrees and the steel doesn’t have to be glowing to burn you…”) and then, without any delay, he was thrusting his spike in the fire.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

“I don’t want you to worry about how sexy it is until the end.” Well, I am worried about it, Aram. I want mine to be sexy.

Lionsgate Image

When the steel is at critical temperature, it’s ready to be shaped and forged with the hammer. Aram demonstrated this, making it look exceptionally easy, but as you might imagine, it’s actually pretty challenging. The metal cools rather quickly, so we had about enough time to strike 16-20 times in quick succession per side, rotating the blade every 8-10 strikes.

Then there’s the issue of hitting the target, which takes practice. I found at first that I was able to strike with force OR precision — but rarely with both. Eventually I began to get the hang of it, until I learned that I was twisting my blade.

Sharpen, straighten, pound, heat.

Aram and guest instructor Al were there to supervise and teach us about the science behind the blacksmith trade.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

Lionsgate Image

I discovered that if my tongs were too deep in the forge, their metal began to expand, loosening the grip on my blade. A quick dip in a bucket of water helped cool them down enough to begin again.

Once we’d begun to sharpen and shape the blade, it was time to work the handle, twisting it in a vice and hammering it into a curve. Here we were able to make artistic choices, which stressed me out because, again, I wanted my blade to be sexy.

Once we were satisfied with the shape of our weapon, it was time to temper it.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

Lionsgate Image

First we brought the blade to critical temperature, which we were able to test not just by visually seeing that the thing was glowing hot, but by the fact that it was demagnetized. Then we removed it from the forge and let it cool until the magnetic quality returned. The molecular alignment of the metal was literally changing during this process.

Then we brought the knife to critical temperature once more before quickly “quenching” it.

According to Aram, different cultures had different recipes to quench their metal, which rapidly hardens and cools it. We could safely handle the blade after less than a minute of quenching.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

From there it was time to sharpen the knife on the grindstone, shave off and smooth down excess steel, and then apply a light layer of WD-40 to prevent rust.

At the end of four hours, we’d each forged our own blade. It was seriously bad ass. I felt like Iron Man.

Tony Stark Builds Mark 1 – First Suit Up Scene – Iron Man (2008) – Movie CLIP HD

www.youtube.com

Here’s my biggest takeaway about blacksmithing: it’s got the meditative quality of crafting with your hands combined with the power that comes from working with weapons. If you like going to the gun range, grab some buddies and go forge your own freaking dagger. It’s just cool.

I’m excited to share this with other veterans because it’s been proven how therapeutic it is to work with your hands, to create. I wouldn’t exactly tell a macho guy to go take a painting class (although…maybe?) but I’d recommend this in a heartbeat.

It felt powerful. It was hot and challenging and violent and contained.

And then I walked away with a bitchin’ new blade to call my own.

HUGE SHOUTOUT to Lionsgate, who does so many cool events for veterans, for this opportunity. Don’t forget to check out Rambo: Last Blood, out on Digital and coming to 4K Ultra HD™ Combo Pack, Blu-ray™ Combo Pack, DVD on Dec. 17.

MIGHTY TRENDING

Navy closing ‘golden mile’ with important carrier test

The Navy said it would swap out the aging C-2A Greyhound aircraft used to resupply aircraft carriers for new CMV-22B Osprey tilt-rotor aircraft in January 2015.

As the service has gotten closer to deploying with its variant of the Joint Strike fighter, the F-35C, the need for the V-22’s heavy-lifting capacity has grown more urgent. And after a round of tests in early August 2018, the Navy is a step closer to meeting its resupply and logistics needs.


Aboard the aircraft carrier USS George H.W. Bush in August 2018, Osprey pilots successfully performed rolling landings and takeoffs at a total weight of more than 57,000 pounds, outstripping the C-2A’s maximum landing weight of 49,000 pounds.

The Osprey’s vertical-lift capability, along with its ability to reach fixed-wing aircraft speed and range, make it ideal for carrier onboard delivery and vertical on-board delivery, the Navy says. That extra lifting capacity also provides a missing link in the Navy’s plans for the F-35C.

The engine in the F-35C and the Marine Corps’ variant, the F-35B (which has already deployed to an amphibious assault ship) is too heavy for platforms like the MH-60 helicopter and too big for the C-2A. Only the V-22 combines the range and lifting ability to get the engine over the final stretch between shore and ship — the “golden mile.”

The Navy plans to replace its 27 C-2As with 38 CMV-22Bs beginning in 2020. Below, you can see how the latest round of testing went down.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

An MV-22 Osprey lands on the aircraft carrier USS George H.W. Bush, Aug. 1, 2018.

(US Navy photo by Mass Comm. Specialist 3rd Class Roland John)

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

Aviation Boatswain’s Mate (Handling) 1st Class Marlon Daley directs an MV-22 Osprey to land on the Bush.

(US Navy photo by Mass Comm. Specialist 3rd Class Roland John)

It has more fuel capacity in the fuselage and wings, a special high-frequency antenna to aid navigation over open water, and a better intercom system to communicate with passengers.

Source: Navy Times

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

An MV-22 Osprey takes off from the Bush.

(US Navy photo by Mass Comm. Specialist 3rd Class Roland John)

The expanded fuel capacity allows the CMV-22B to haul up to 6,000 pounds of cargo for a distance of 1,100 nautical miles, or roughly 1,265 statute miles. This beats out the Greyhound’s cargo capacity of just 800 pounds and its range of 1,000 nautical miles.

Source: Navy Times

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

An MV-22 Osprey lands.

(US Navy photo by Mass Comm. Specialist 3rd Class Roland John)

“I started off flying Greyhound carrier onboard delivery (COD) aircraft and I love the platform,” said Lt. Cmdr. Steven Tschanz, a Navy test pilot who took part in the Osprey tests aboard the USS Bush. “With that said, nothing lasts forever and the Navy came up with a solution to move us into the future with the CMV-22 Osprey.”

Source: US Navy

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

An MV-22 Osprey lands.

(US Navy photo by Mass Comm. Specialist 3rd Class Roland John)

F-35Bs belonging to the Marine Corps have already been deployed on a Navy ship. A detachment of the aircraft joined a Marine Expeditionary Unit aboard the amphibious assault ship USS Wasp in early 2018 — the F-35B’s first operational deployment with an MEU.

Source: US Marine Corps

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

An MV-22 Osprey landing.

(US Navy photo by Mass Comm. Specialist 2nd Class Joseph E. Montemarano)

The Navy’s F-35C, the largest of the three Joint Strike Fighter variants, is slated to deploy for the first time aboard the aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson sometime in 2021. The fifth-generation fighter is supposed to eventually make up half the fighters based on aircraft carriers.

Source: Popular Mechanics

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

An MV-22 Osprey lands.

(US Navy photo by Mass Comm. Specialist 3rd Class Roland John)

The Navy plans to run CMV-22 operations out of Naval Station Norfolk in Virginia and out of Naval Air Station North Island in San Diego. The changeover to the new aircraft is expected to start in 2020 and wrap up in 2028.

Source: USNI News

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

(US Navy photo by Mass Comm. Specialist 3rd Class Roland John)

Lt. Gavin Kurey, the first Navy pilot to land a CMV-22 on an aircraft carrier, said the transition to the Osprey for carrier onboard delivery represented a major change.

Source: US Navy

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

Aviation Boatswain’s Mate (Handling) 1st Class Marlon Daley directs an MV-22 Osprey on the Bush.

(US Navy photo by Mass Comm. Specialist 3rd Class Roland John)

“This underway is a historic event for the Navy,” Kurey said in a Navy release. “I never thought I’d be part of something like this as a COD guy. There’s a lot of reluctance to join new platforms that are so different initially, but to be part of the first wave that can help to make that transition happen is an amazing experience.”

Source: US Navy

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

(US Navy photo by Mass Comm. Specialist 3rd Class Roland John)

“This is why I went to test pilot school,” said Tschanz, the test pilot. “I finished my flight with my co-pilot and we fist-bumped. This is why I joined. This is why I’m a test pilot. It’s things like this that make this job.”

Source: US Navy

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY TRENDING

SpaceX just launched a full-size Starship rocket prototype hundreds of feet above Texas

SpaceX is one giant grain-silo launch closer to reaching Mars.

The aerospace company, founded by Elon Musk in 2002, launched and landed an early prototype of a potentially revolutionary rocket system called Starship at 7:57 p.m. ET on Monday. The flight occured at SpaceX’s expanding rocket factory, development, and test site in Boca Chica, a relatively remote region at the southeastern tip of Texas.


“Mars is looking real,” Musk tweeted shortly after the flight of roughly 492 feet (150 meters) into the air, later adding: “Progress is accelerating.”

SPadre.com, which has a camera trained on SpaceX’s launch site from about 6 miles away on South Padre Island, captured the entire launch from start-to-finish with a 24-hour live feed on YouTube. In the background audio of a livestream hosted by NASASpaceFlight.com (which caught yet another view with a different camera and angle), audible cheers could be heard coming from on-site SpaceX employees and contractors.

The clip below shows a profile of the whole flight from SPadre‘s feed.

giant.gfycat.com

In the movie, the prototype takes off using a single Raptor rocket engine, translates across the launch site, deploys a set of short landing legs, and touches down on a concrete pad.

Musk later tweeted that Starship’s next set of landing legs “will be ~60% longer” and that a version farther down the line “will be much wider taller” like the legs of a Falcon 9 rocket booster, “but capable of landing on unimproved surfaces auto-leveling” — in other words, optimized to landing on the moon or Mars.

LabPadre, which hosted a live feed of SpaceX’s launch site featuring multiple camera views, also recorded the flight.

Below is that YouTube channel’s edited recording of the experimental launch.

SN5 Successfully Hops!!!

www.youtube.com

If Starship and its Super Heavy rocket booster end up being fully reusable, Musk has said, the system may reduce the cost of launching anything to space by about 1,000-fold and enable hypersonic travel around Earth.

But first, SpaceX has to see if its core designs for Starship work. To that end, the company is moving briskly to build, test, and launch prototypes.

Monday’s “hop” flight — Musk said ahead of the flight that SpaceX was targeting an altitude of 150 meters (492 feet) — represents the first flight of any full-scale Starship hardware. It’s also a crucial step toward informing future prototypes and, ultimately, launches that fly Starships into orbit around Earth.

SpaceX had hoped to attempt a flight of SN5 on July 27, but Hurricane Hanna damaged a component that had to be fixed, Musk said. A previous notice to airmen, or NOTAM, suggested the company would try to fly SN5 on Sunday — the same day as its attempt to land two NASA astronauts in the Gulf of Mexico — but the launch window came and went. (SpaceX’s Demo -2 was an historic test flight of the company’s Crew Dragon spaceship, a vehicle developed with about .7 billion in NASA funding.)

Prototyping toward Mars

The above photo shows the SN5 prototype from above during a test-firing of its engine on July 30.

SN5 is the latest of several full-scale Starship prototypes that SpaceX has built in Texas. The previous versions have either crumpled during tests or, as was the case on May 29, catastrophically exploded.

Each failure has taught SpaceX valuable lessons to inform design and material changes — tweaks that Musk says are already being worked into SN6, SN7, and SN8 prototypes, which are in various stages of assembly within the company’s expanding and bustling work yards in South Texas.

The steel vehicles don’t have wing-like canards or nosecones attached, in case something goes wrong in their earliest phases of testing, so they look more like flying fuel tanks or grain silos than rocket ships.

However, as last year’s test launch of an early Starship prototype called Starhopper showed, the flights of even experimental vehicles (shown above) can impress: On August 27, Starhopper soared to a similar height as SN5, translated across a launch site, and landed on a nearby concrete pad.

thumbs.gfycat.com

SpaceX obtained a launch license from the FAA to send Starship prototypes on a “suborbital trajectory,” meaning the experimental rocket ships could reach dozens of miles above Earth before returning and landing. However, it’s uncertain if SpaceX eventually plans to launch SN5 on such an ambitious flight path after Monday’s “hop.”

The company couldn’t attempt more ambitious flights until late August at the soonest, though. On July 23, SpaceX asked the FCC for permission to communicate with prototypes flying as high as 12.4 miles (20 kilometers) within the next seven months. The earliest date noted on the request, which is still pending, is August 18.

Musk said after the flight of SN5 that the next phase of testing won’t fly prototypes very high, at least initially.

“We’ll do several short hops to smooth out launch process, then go high altitude with body flaps,” he tweeted on Tuesday.

SpaceX is also pursuing a launch license for full-scale, orbital-class Starship-Super Heavy vehicles. Musk hopes Starship will launch a cargo mission to Mars in 2022, send a private crew around the moon in 2023, return NASA astronauts to the lunar surface in 2024, and even begin sending people to Mars the same year.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY TACTICAL

Air Force needs more ‘bird cannons’ to protect bombers

Four years ago, a US military helicopter crashed in the UK, killing all four crew members. The cause: a flock of geese.

Birds and wildlife pose a deadly threat to American military aircraft and their crew. Between 1985 and 2016, bird strikes killed 36 American airmen, destroyed 27 US Air Force aircraft and cost the service almost a billion dollars, according to the 28th Bomb Wing Public Affairs Office at Ellsworth Air Force Base.

Defensive technology has improved, reducing the number of incidents, but destructive accidents continue to occur. Between 2011 and 2017, the USAF experienced 418 wildlife-related mishaps, resulting in $182 million in damages, according to Military Times.


Canadian Geese alone cost the USAF almost 0 million between fiscal year 1995 and fiscal year 2016.

To counter the threat posed by birds, Ellsworth Air Force Base in South Dakota installed an automated bird deterrent system — special cannons designed to keep the animals away.

The 0,000 bird abatement system consists of a rotating cannon and a propane tank. The cannon produces a loud sound similar to a shotgun blast to scare the birds away. Some units, the Associated Press reports, are equipped with speakers able to blare the distress calls of several different bird species.

“Birds are a huge problem for our aircraft operations,” James McCurdy, a 28th Bomb Wing flight safety officer, explained to the AP. “In the middle of our migration season (October, November, April and May), it’s not abnormal for us to hit and kill a bird at least once a week. They cost us hundreds of thousands of dollars a year.”

The bird cannons only require around ,000 a year to maintain, which could mean significant savings for the base.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush

Bird strikes are problems the world over. This photo shows an Israeli Air Force UH-60 Blackhawk after a bird strike.

Some of the other tools, outside of manpower, that have been used to keep birds away from US aircraft in the past include the Avian Hazard Advisory System (AHAS), a weather radar that can keep track of flocks of birds, and a bird detection radar for monitoring individual birds.

Not every Air Force base is equipped with these defense systems though. At Ellsworth, which is home to one of the two Air Force B-1 Lancer bomber wings, the previous approach to dealing with wildlife was to send someone out with a shotgun.

Ellsworth now has 24 bird cannons installed along the runway to protect the bombers, each of which reportedly costs around 0 million.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY HISTORY

These Jewish assassins targeted former Nazis to avenge the Holocaust

The reprisals against German members of the Nazi party didn’t end after the Nuremberg Trials. It was a well-known fact that many high-ranking members of the party survived World War II, the trials, and the Red Army’s wrath. The Jewish people that were left did their best to seek justice, but none were as dedicated as the Nokmim – “The Avengers.”


Without a doubt, the most famous of the Nazi hunters after World War II was Simon Wiesenthal, who ferreted out some 1,100 Nazi war criminals. Wiesenthal was a survivor at the Mauthausen death camp when it was liberated by American troops in 1945. As soon as his health was restored, he began to work in the War Crimes Section of the United States Army, gathering evidence to convict German war criminals.

The operative words here being evidence, convict, and war criminals.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush
You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

The Nokmim, as they were called, were not about to let anyone who committed those crimes against their people just walk free for lack of what a court determined was sufficient evidence. Wiesenthal would get the biggest names who escaped justice – those like Adolf Eichmann. The Nokmim would get the SS men, the prison guards, the Gestapo foot soldiers whose names might not be in history books.

As former anti-Nazi partisans who had fought in an underground movement for years before the war’s end, they were no strangers to killing.

“We had seen concentration camps,” Vitka Kovner told the Yad Vashem Magazine of her time fighting Nazis in occupied Lithuania. “And after what we witnessed there, we decided that even though the war was over, we had to take revenge for the spilling of Jewish blood.”

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush
Vitka Kovner-Kempner (far right) was a resistance fighter in the Vilna ghetto in modern-day Lithuania.
(Jewish Women’s Archive)

With that goal in mind, they acted. Former Nazi SS officers and enlisted men were found hanged by apparent suicides for years after the war’s end. Brakes on cars would suddenly become inoperative, causing deadly accidents. Former Nazis would be found in ditches, victims of apparent hit-and-runs. One was even found in his hospital bed before minor surgery with kerosene in his bloodstream.

One extreme plan even involved killing six million Germans as retribution for the Holocaust using a specially-designed, odorless, colorless poison, but had to settle for poisoning the bread at a prison camp for former SS men using arsenic. That plan may have killed up to 300 of the convicts.

Some of the best jokes the CIA wrote for President H.W. Bush
Some of the leaders of the Nakmim movement would later lead brigades in Israel’s 1948 Independence War.

But the group was comprised of more than just partisans. It may have even included British Army volunteers of Jewish descent who could move freely through the postwar world. No one knows who exactly was part of the group, but it was clear that their reach extended worldwide.

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