No one wants to be a buzz kill: A look at alcohol in the military community

No one wants to be a buzz kill. That's the soft social put down we use to avoid an uncomfortable confrontation or even harder -- a self-reflection about alcohol. A topic that has a longstanding relationship with the military community in both good ways and bad.

In InDependent's bold new series "Wellness Unfiltered" they're going there, into the harder to uncomfortable spaces military wellness typically shies away from in hopes to support the community and stand together to face tough topics.

Justine Evirs, a social entrepreneur, Navy veteran and Navy spouse is not what you would picture as the face of someone struggling with alcohol. In fact, that's exactly the reason Evirs decided to step up. "There's no representation here, not as a veteran, as a woman or minority," she said candidly. "I'm not homeless. I am a mother, a recognized leader and for a long time didn't see myself as having any issue until I became more familiar with the four stages of alcoholism," Evirs said, who in the series breaks down the four stages through her own story and provides educational resources and facts.

On the other microphone is Kimberly Bacso of InDependent who explains the goal of the four-part series is to, "present a non-victimizing approach to give the community the tools we need to both destigmatize and recognize what this looks like."

"Through this exposure we can now be there for each other, even in simple ways like providing attractive non-alcoholic options at gatherings," Bacso said. InDependent's approach to wellness as a wider, holistic standpoint really lends itself to tackling and supporting spouses in this space.

Not having a true picture of what healthy drinking looks like was one component of the larger issue for Evirs, who explained she spent years in stages one and two. "There are different stages and different types of alcoholics. With this conversation, my hope is that we can start asking ourselves why we're drinking -- is it to manage stress? And further, to look at our current drinking relationship from a longevity standpoint -- will this be ok in five to 10 years?"

In case you're curious, the lines between stages are not DUIs, arrests or an unmanageable life. The changes are subtle, and depending on the social company you keep, can go unrecognized or become "normalized" through a skewed perception.

Fear was definitely an inhibitor for Evirs, who admits she feared not only the stigma of this label for herself but the impact it may have on her husband's career also. "Addiction leads to loneliness, something we already have enough of as military spouses," Evirs said.

To make recognition worse, Evirs explains that the disease remains largely self-diagnosed. Fear, shame and an unhealthy media portrayal of healthy drinking patterns have shrouded this taboo topic for far too long.

What we love about the series is how it comes across as authentic and is hosted within the safe space of InDependent's blog and Facebook community. "The series is embedded with links where anyone can find resources as well as the entire four-part conversation well after we've streamed them live," Bacso said.

So, what's the takeaway here no matter where you identify at any stage of the spectrum? Empowerment and the forward motion of the entire military community. "Even if this is not you, I'm willing to bet you know someone who has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol," Evirs said.

Here's to an informed and healthy future. In part two, Evirs explains how perspective has changed how she views the "bonding" that is associated with drinking. Are we really connecting over our talents and who we are as people, or is it the drinks?

We're looking forward to connecting to a changing culture, no matter what is in your hands.